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would you be a boyfriend for a girl who wants to save her virginity till marriage? Options · View
polly95
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 8:53:52 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/21/2013
Posts: 40
Location: melbourne, Australia
my boyfriend lets me keep mine but who knows if he will stay. i let him rub his hands inside my underwear and we kiss each others privates but is that enough or will he leave me?
MadMartigan
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 9:11:13 AM

Rank: Raised on Blackroot

Joined: 6/17/2013
Posts: 2,187
Location: United States
If he really loves you, he will.

It is a tricky matter. Intimacy (intercourse) is a highly emotional thing with someone you love. I don't know if I could get married without having sex. While shallow on the surface, that isn't quite true.

I believe for a marriage to work well, there needs to be an established sex of sexual compatibility. You won't know till you bump the uglies. That's my philosophy at any rate. Much as we pretend it isn't a huge factor, sex and sexual compatibility is an important thing in a relationship. Not having it will lead to finding other faults in the person....

If saving it until marriage is an important thing for you, don't be pressured or feel pressured to give it up.

You'll only ever know though if you talk with him about it. Has he even voiced or shown discontent or frustration in the first place about not getting to the penultimate level of intimacy yet anyway?
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 10:07:04 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Yes I would not have a problem with that at all
Dani
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 10:20:48 AM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,095
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
What do you mean your boyfriend lets you keep your virginity? It's yours. Do with it as you please. If waiting until marriage is something you feel strongly about, then find someone who thinks you're worth the wait. If there ever comes a point where he wants to go further than he knows you're willing to go, then it's time to move on.



OZ_Tech
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 12:20:53 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/22/2013
Posts: 19
Location: United States
If she wanted to save her virginity until marriage I would wait, but if that also included no sexual contact whatsoever until marriage, I would probably move on.
Bayeck
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 12:50:23 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/14/2013
Posts: 68
Location: United States
personally, i'm fine with waiting but every guy is different. it you can still have a sex life without having sex. however, if you do go 'all the way,' you can't back to saving yourself again.
paul_moadib
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 4:36:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/31/2013
Posts: 620
Location: Docking bay 94
Yes I would have.

But as an older guy now, I would certainly advise a younger girl not to build the act of sex up to mythological proportions.

Sure, it should be taken seriously, but if over a persons married lifespan they might have sex several thousand times, it is more important to worry about it being good throughout, not just the first time.

That involves communication, understanding and daring ... amongst other things.
CrazyTexan
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 10:55:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/13/2010
Posts: 98
Location: United States
I've been in past relationships where the girl has wanted to wait till marriage. It was never a source of disdain between us. It is something that I whole-heatedly respected.
mentalcase
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 11:54:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 383
wow. I'm surprised. I thought this convo would go the other way. way to go men!!!!!!!!
Magical_felix
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 11:58:29 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,044
Location: California
LOL



kylie_kained
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 12:52:03 AM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 995
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
If he truly loves you he will wait no matter what, I would be willing to wait if I had to.
















Robert1234
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 12:58:53 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/19/2013
Posts: 6
Location: Canberra, Australia
From my own experience, if you find someone you really love and want to be with, 'saving' yourself doesn't seem as important as it once was
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 1:26:55 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,507
Location: Cakeland, United States
Would you purchase one of these without taking it for a test drive?



I wouldn't.



You'd be hoping you'd land one of the top two models....and might end up with the knockoff domestic unit. Somewhat dependable but not very fun to spend a lot of time inside of.



Sorry to rain on your parade.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 2:06:07 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,044
Location: California
WellMadeMale wrote:
Would you purchase one of these without taking it for a test drive?



I wouldn't.



You'd be hoping you'd land one of the top two models....and might end up with the knockoff domestic unit. Somewhat dependable but not very fun to spend a lot of time inside of.



Sorry to rain on your parade.


You wouldn't be able to reach the peddles you disgusting hellhound embarrassing pig of a man.



doctorlove
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 3:00:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 833
Location: United States
why do you want to be a virgin?
polly95
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 5:19:15 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/21/2013
Posts: 40
Location: melbourne, Australia
MadMartigan wrote:
If he really loves you, he will.

It is a tricky matter. Intimacy (intercourse) is a highly emotional thing with someone you love. I don't know if I could get married without having sex. While shallow on the surface, that isn't quite true.

I believe for a marriage to work well, there needs to be an established sex of sexual compatibility. You won't know till you bump the uglies. That's my philosophy at any rate. Much as we pretend it isn't a huge factor, sex and sexual compatibility is an important thing in a relationship. Not having it will lead to finding other faults in the person....

If saving it until marriage is an important thing for you, don't be pressured or feel pressured to give it up.

You'll only ever know though if you talk with him about it. Has he even voiced or shown discontent or frustration in the first place about not getting to the penultimate level of intimacy yet anyway?


thanks for the advice, very interesting to read! coffee
is intercourse a lot more emotional than fingering and bj/hj?
i wear panties and he rubs his nude erection on my panties. he pulled my panties off once and i jumped away an he yelled. so yep.

doctorlove wrote:
why do you want to be a virgin?


i promised mum before she died. i have a stepmum now and she doesn't mind id i lose virginity before marrying. but my mum did. Hugs

slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:
What do you mean your boyfriend lets you keep your virginity? It's yours. Do with it as you please. If waiting until marriage is something you feel strongly about, then find someone who thinks you're worth the wait. If there ever comes a point where he wants to go further than he knows you're willing to go, then it's time to move on.


my exbf didn't let me keep it almost. i had no underwear on under my dress and he let his ejaculate on my bottom. dontknow
polly95
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 5:30:19 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/21/2013
Posts: 40
Location: melbourne, Australia
Robert1234 wrote:
From my own experience, if you find someone you really love and want to be with, 'saving' yourself doesn't seem as important as it once was

cos sex isn't important cos the love becomes bigger than it?

kylie_kained wrote:
If he truly loves you he will wait no matter what, I would be willing to wait if I had to.


thanks me too Hugs

CrazyTexan wrote:
I've been in past relationships where the girl has wanted to wait till marriage. It was never a source of disdain between us. It is something that I whole-heatedly respected.


awesome niceeeeeeee Big Hugs

paul_moadib wrote:
Yes I would have.

But as an older guy now, I would certainly advise a younger girl not to build the act of sex up to mythological proportions.

Sure, it should be taken seriously, but if over a persons married lifespan they might have sex several thousand times, it is more important to worry about it being good throughout, not just the first time.

That involves communication, understanding and daring ... amongst other things.


true my friends say they are not good at it yet, its a high degree of difficulty confused1

Bayeck wrote:
personally, i'm fine with waiting but every guy is different. it you can still have a sex life without having sex. however, if you do go 'all the way,' you can't back to saving yourself again.


its fun to see him ejaculate anyway even without intercourse i agree!

OZ_Tech wrote:
If she wanted to save her virginity until marriage I would wait, but if that also included no sexual contact whatsoever until marriage, I would probably move on.


me too i like sexual contact a lot binky

Langley wrote:
Yes I would not have a problem with that at all


niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Big Hugs
ByronLord
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 5:52:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru
Moderator

Joined: 11/14/2010
Posts: 784
Location: Massachusetts, United States
polly95 wrote:

i promised mum before she died. i have a stepmum now and she doesn't mind id i lose virginity before marrying. but my mum did. Hugs


That is a terrible reason. It is no business of parents whether their adult kids have sex before marriage. Attempting to control their lives from beyond the grave is obnoxious beyond belief. It is emotional blackmail.

Live your life for your own moral principles, not someone else's.

Do you really want to marry in your 20s just to have sex? What happens if the guy you marry tends to be crap at it? Women are much more likely to end up with a crap lover than men are. The woman does not need to put in any particular effort for the man to have a fun time but the reverse is not the case.

Sex before marriage is a much better option than getting married and then having affairs because hubby is crap in bed. See my poem 'to all the husband's I have cuckolded'.

Sure you can find men who would wait. Even today it is pretty common to want to wait till a relationship is serious to have sex, even though men aren't supposed to admit that. But the risk you face by holding off till a wedding ring is that you will be picking from the pool of men who are just not into sex or are closet homosexuals etc.

Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 7:21:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a virgin until you get married, if he has a problem with it, then he is not the right one for you and is only looking for one thing.
polly95
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 10:07:44 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/21/2013
Posts: 40
Location: melbourne, Australia
ByronLord wrote:


That is a terrible reason. It is no business of parents whether their adult kids have sex before marriage. Attempting to control their lives from beyond the grave is obnoxious beyond belief. It is emotional blackmail.

Live your life for your own moral principles, not someone else's.

Do you really want to marry in your 20s just to have sex? What happens if the guy you marry tends to be crap at it? Women are much more likely to end up with a crap lover than men are. The woman does not need to put in any particular effort for the man to have a fun time but the reverse is not the case.

Sex before marriage is a much better option than getting married and then having affairs because hubby is crap in bed. See my poem 'to all the husband's I have cuckolded'.

Sure you can find men who would wait. Even today it is pretty common to want to wait till a relationship is serious to have sex, even though men aren't supposed to admit that. But the risk you face by holding off till a wedding ring is that you will be picking from the pool of men who are just not into sex or are closet homosexuals etc.


my bf gives me lots of 0s. so at least i know our marriage has that angel7 and i trust his finger more than any other bfs by far. i agree its best to try riding a man before marrying. but i guess im scared to break the promise crybaby

Dark_Lord wrote:
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a virgin until you get married, if he has a problem with it, then he is not the right one for you and is only looking for one thing.


true! he will marry me for love this way Big Hugs
Bayeck
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 10:35:45 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/14/2013
Posts: 68
Location: United States
polly95 wrote:

my bf gives me lots of 0s. so at least i know our marriage has that angel7 and i trust his finger more than any other bfs by far. i agree its best to try riding a man before marrying. but i guess im scared to break the promise crybaby


it sounds like the promise with your mom is very important to you. before you have sex make sure it won't bother you later.
lafayettemister
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 10:56:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,460
Location: Alabama, United States
It depends on how long she wants to wait until we're married? Of course, we could do anal and her cherry would stay intact until the honeymoon.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 11:00:17 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
No, I wouldn't. I could not be with a girl who doesn't think sex is important enough to at least make sure of sexual compatibility with your partner before dooming both of you to an unsatisfied marriage. I like sexually open-minded girls and being able to explore everything with my partner. I also don't believe in marriage and it has no personal meaning to me, which is another factor.
polly95
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 12:23:38 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/21/2013
Posts: 40
Location: melbourne, Australia

Sperminator wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I could not be with a girl who doesn't think sex is important enough to at least make sure of sexual compatibility with your partner before dooming both of you to an unsatisfied marriage. I like sexually open-minded girls and being able to explore everything wit[quote=lafayettemister]It depends on how long she wants to wait until we're married? Of course, we could do anal and her cherry would stay intact until the honeymoon.


i wanted to try anal but was afraid it would make my bottom less tight. so i never tried it.

Bayeck wrote:


it sounds like the promise with your mom is very important to you. before you have sex make sure it won't bother you later.


i want to have sex badly. i touch my boyfriends lap always but will keep my promise no matter what cos i'd feel guilty4ever if i didn't keep it. what do you mean when you say before you have sex make sure it won't bother you later.?
sorry i didn't understand it d'oh!

Sperminator wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I could not be with a girl who doesn't think sex is important enough to at least make sure of sexual compatibility with your partner before dooming both of you to an unsatisfied marriage. I like sexually open-minded girls and being able to explore everything with my partner. I also don't believe in marriage and it has no personal meaning to me, which is another factor.


i agree, i don't think marriage is a big deal either cat except in my case so i can make love.
Bayeck
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 7:09:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/14/2013
Posts: 68
Location: United States
polly95 wrote:
i want to have sex badly. i touch my boyfriends lap always but will keep my promise no matter what cos i'd feel guilty4ever if i didn't keep it. what do you mean when you say before you have sex make sure it won't bother you later.?
sorry i didn't understand it


sounds like you understand. just don't break the promise if it'll make you guilty or sad because it will stay with you and it might cause problems down the road in your relationship.



MadMartigan
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 7:43:16 PM

Rank: Raised on Blackroot

Joined: 6/17/2013
Posts: 2,187
Location: United States
Promise to the parental unit huh?

I don't believe it is right for someone to control your sexual habits, whether living or from the grave...

I wouldn't break it to spite, but staying a virgin out of a promise to your mother (who shouldn't have any sway on your sex life) is silly.

I won't try to convince you otherwise, but...

But honestly, it is YOUR life. If you want to have sex and trust the man you are with deeply, go for it.

Some promises need to be broken and having that held over you...ugh. You shouldn't feel guilty over it.

Then again, I think the whole stay abstinent until marriage is bunk. But that's my opinion.
Ravyn
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 7:57:20 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur
Moderator

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,120
Location: Bend, United States
polly95 wrote:



i agree, i don't think marriage is a big deal either cat except in my case so i can make love.



Oh dear......the urge or desire to have sex should NOT be your driving force to get married. Trust me when I say this, the promise you made to your mom is one she should never have asked you to make. Losing your virginity is a personal thing and it should only be your decision. Speaking as a mother of two, I would never advise my kids who are 20 and 24 now, to wait until marriage. In a perfect world, yes that may be ideal for some, but you really do need to know you have sexual compatibility with the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with or however long you plan to be married. Living in a sexless or less than desirable sexual pleasurable marriage is no way to live. I speak from over many years of experience on this. Love is an amazingly wonderful thing but that to will fade with there is no sexual compatibility. I am in no way promoting sexual promiscuity, but I am a firm believer in knowing your partner and making sure you are compatible on many levels including sexually related things.

I pose this question to you, what if you do wait, and you and the man you marry consummate your marriage and you find that its not all you thought it to be? Losing ones virginity is not always a pleasurable thing despite what you might read or hear.

If waiting is truly what you want to do for YOU then by all means do it, but waiting because you promised another, I would seriously reconsider. You mentioned how you touch each other now sexually in your previous posts, do you think your mother would approve of that kind of before marriage contact? Do you feel guilt over those actions? Remember, this is your life, and you need to live it as it best suits you.

Not one person in this community can tell you what to do, we can only advise and spark conscious thought. I hope you find the answers you seek and can live with the decision you ultimately make.

I know my response was a bit off topic from your original question. Any guy you are involved with should respect the decisions you make regarding your body, if he leaves then he isn't worthy of you to begin with.

mr_canuck
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 9:04:23 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/18/2012
Posts: 89
Location: Canada
I would not. Sexual compatibility is important. Your mother should be ashamed of herself for asking you to promise that. Shame on you

Good luck!

Goldenbow321
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 9:53:38 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/29/2013
Posts: 23
Location: Dallas, United States
If I'm with a girl I really like and see a long future with, definitely.
But if it's a short-term relationship, like a casual college girlfriend, probably won't stay with her.
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 26, 2013 1:01:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
I have been in the past, though that's not an issue in my current relationship. It didn't bother me then, but then I wasn't accustomed to having a lot of sex, nor was I particularly used to having a girlfriend. With that in mind, we broke up because we didn't like each other that much. I suspect that if you and he are in love, then it won't matter that much. It's your virginity, not his, and if he doesn't accept that, and realize that if it's important to you it has to be important to him, then maybe it's not meant to be.

My one piece of active advice is to not let this issue push either of you into getting married before you should.

It would also be interesting to know if he's a virgin or not.
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