Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Realization that you are more than Vanilla Options · View
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 25, 2013 9:02:03 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
My question to you lovely kinky friends is: When did you realize that you needed/wanted more from your relationships and sex life?

For me, I realized it after my first big break up that I needed a partner who could dominate not only his life but mine too and guide me through life. Plus I was always a masochist..
Lustyrose4u
Posted: Friday, July 26, 2013 9:25:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/6/2013
Posts: 362
Location: Long Island, United States
I guess I was in my late teens, more than a few years ago. The trip has been fantastic, I would not change a minute of it.

"When its too kinky for everybody else, its just gettin' good for me."
(Kinky Freedman)
adele
Posted: Saturday, July 27, 2013 7:51:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 21,370
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
When I first came on Lush and made some friends here, I was talking to a few of them who were into BDSM. I described myself to them as vanilla, and there began to ask me if I liked this or that. After about the fourth or fifth thing that I said I liked or wanted to try, they said ''Cas, you are not as vanilla as you think you are."

Be sure to read my new series - Angela
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/angela-gets-a-new-job-1.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/masturbation/angela-gets-a-master-part-2-of-the.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/anal/angela-gets-her-first-butt-plug-part.aspx My 1st Famous Story
and the latest part...https://www.lushstories.com/stories/anal/angela-gets-settled-into-her-new-place.aspx

and view some of my other recent offerings... https://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/the-cheater.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/milf/a-new-life-for-rose.aspx
please read and vote for my Competition Story... https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/the-ice-hotel.aspx
MasterDarkHeart
Posted: Saturday, July 27, 2013 7:58:22 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/27/2013
Posts: 7
Location: United States
I was in my early 40s dating a lady that to me was a bit kinky, she liked to be spanked before having sex, I thought that was fine but a bit kinky, the longer we dated, the more she asked for, the more I thought this lady had something wrong with her but also found that I was liking what she was asking for. Needless to say she taught me lots and life has been great because of her.
adagio_sabadicus
Posted: Saturday, July 27, 2013 9:12:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,368
I discovered the 'my me' at an early age. There are those would could never understand what the meaning of 'my me' is. There are those who read this who may think they do, but they would not know. Vanilla is nothing but an extract of a Vanilla Bean. I like to think that 'my me' is Ambrosia... Enough said
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 27, 2013 9:30:08 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
I was the cliched "late developer" who (for good and bad) spent my formative years watching pornography before experiencing real flesh. I would be the first to admit this wasn't the best way to begin developing kinks and fetishes and unfortunately it has left me sexually frustrated with the real thing ever since. The good part would be that's it left me with a very open and honest attitude to sex, the bad part would be that the real thing rarely measures up to what my teenage porn obsessed self expected it to be!
Ravyn
Posted: Saturday, July 27, 2013 10:55:21 AM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur
Moderator

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,110
Location: Bend, United States
MasterDarkHeart wrote:
I was in my early 40s dating a lady that to me was a bit kinky, she liked to be spanked before having sex, I thought that was fine but a bit kinky, the longer we dated, the more she asked for, the more I thought this lady had something wrong with her but also found that I was liking what she was asking for. Needless to say she taught me lots and life has been great because of her.


This is exactly why some of us have stayed hidden for so long.

Peter242
Posted: Wednesday, July 31, 2013 2:12:29 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/4/2008
Posts: 55
I was still at school and was on a bus looking at an older woman (probably early 20's judging from my age) and thought how great it would be to be put across her lap for a spanking.
TheLovingSadist
Posted: Thursday, August 01, 2013 11:35:11 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/29/2013
Posts: 32
Location: United States
I've been interested in things that would be called "kinky" for as long as I can remember, I just didn't know what they were until I was older and was introduced to this lifestyle.

"A dominant who cannot control himself does not deserve the title of Master, because he who cannot control himself does not have the capacity nor the right to control anyone else." -- The Loving Sadist's Rules of Dominance, Rule One.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, August 03, 2013 9:23:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
I was 17 and had a very loving Domme
Mistress_Nina
Posted: Thursday, August 08, 2013 5:59:38 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 5/3/2013
Posts: 2
Location: Australia
I didn't really think about it until one of my friends mentioned the BDSM scene, and my interest was piqued
After that, I never had to question my sexuality again! I am a businesswoman at heart, and I suppose I have always been tune with my dominant side ;)
english_rose
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 4:53:11 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/11/2013
Posts: 10
Location: United Kingdom
About a year ago I fell into a relationship with someone twice my age (18,36) who introduced me gently to the world of sub/dom... and the rest is very recent history. I wasn't as innocent as I previously believed...

If anyone asks you how the perfect satisfaction of all our sexual wanting will look, lift your face and say,
Like this.

Rumi
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 5:11:36 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
littlebirdie92 wrote:
My question to you lovely kinky friends is: When did you realize that you needed/wanted more from your relationships and sex life?

For me, I realized it after my first big break up that I needed a partner who could dominate not only his life but mine too and guide me through life. Plus I was always a masochist..


Very slowly coming to that realization. My ex-girlfriend kept calling me "pretty boy" and "stud muffin" or its equivalents. It was the reverse of a man using a woman as some sex toy and I loathed being on the receiving end of it. I wanted to start taking charge of who I was with and when, and to an extent how.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 5:47:05 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
My first experiences were very polite, respectful vanilla experiences. I just had this innate feeling there was more to sex than this. If there wasn't I would be very disappointed and wonder what the big thrill was. My current bf answered all those questions the first night we were together. I wrote two stories about that first weekend together. Fucking Perfect and Still Fucking Perfect. Changed my sexual life forever.
Poppet
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 6:08:27 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,467
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
I think I always knew, I’ve always been domineering. Though I do have such a submissive side, but it seems it can only be pulled out by certain men. Many have tried, and many have failed. I’m much more domineering, controlling, much the stronger one. I also really like having the control. I’m hard to explain, I think, even to myself.

I can come off very submissive, but turn in a blink of an eye. It all comes down to whom I’m around. The controlling side grows with me with age though.


Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ You Inspire Me Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Americanheart
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 6:39:33 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 10,731
Location: Hopefully soon to be, United States
I always knew I wasn't Vanilla when I became a teenager. I always been into very kinky things but kept them to myself, but when I came here it brought it out more. I love BDSM because it's so much more. I'm a switch: I'm a sub with men certain type of men and I'm a dom mostly to women. Mostly I come off as being submissive but I have a very Dominant side to me.

1nfinitesexuallity
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 8:11:34 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/10/2013
Posts: 170
Location: kissimmee, United States
I've always had a thing for kink and light BDSM since I was young :P thank god for my first girlfriend hahaha she showed me who I had the potential to be in the bedroom :P
freakycactus
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2013 5:27:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/12/2010
Posts: 410
Location: On my cloud, United Kingdom
An ex and I would take it in turns spanking each other and tying each other up. I always preferred to be the one who was spanked and tied up. I realise now that he was a sub too. He started pulling away from doing those things to me and the less he did them the more I craved them.

After him I met someone who was capable of taking charge during sex, once I'd been with him I was incapable of gaining sexual pleasure from any act where I had to take charge. From there I found a love of BDSM and started exploring it.

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 5:57:17 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
littlebirdie92 wrote:
My question to you lovely kinky friends is: When did you realize that you needed/wanted more from your relationships and sex life?

For me, I realized it after my first big break up that I needed a partner who could dominate not only his life but mine too and guide me through life. Plus I was always a masochist..


I am much like you. I found that when I am the happiest is when I have someone that is in control and then I feel the reward of making them happy by doing things that I would normally do everyday and they would go unnoticed.
Control is like a gift that you can give the right person. I am also a masochist and love the fine line between pleasure and pain. All emotions are closely connected pleasure/pain, love/hate, fear/excitement.
Happy to compare desires and fantasies anytime :)
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 6:32:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
The first time I ever had sex was with an older, experienced boy. He really knew what he was doing and even though my first experience with sex was not in some luxurious bed someplace, it was still pretty amazing for me. We soon explored BDSM and I really enjoyed the loss of control and having someone dominate me. He went away to school and I found another lover who was only into plain vanilla sex. I was sexually bored with him after only a couple of months and we broke up. I eventually found a man that could dominate me the way I needed. He could bring me to sexual highs that I would never have thought I could reach. We went on to explore many other fetishes and the ones I enjoyed the most were exhibitionism and public sex. All three bring me such a sexual and adrenalin rush that I could never go back to plain vanilla sex.
Amnesia
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 6:48:51 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 26
Location: United States
:d/ what do you mean kinky?:d/

I thought putting a women in a collar, pulling at her leash to draw her close, ordering her on your lap, rubbing the leash across her breast, inserting varies anal toys into her ass as you whispered sweet somethings in her ear, and making her sleep at your feet was vanilla.

Wait till i start getn kinky

The perfect women is flawed, needy, hungry for more, sometimes needs to be put in her place, often needs a light spanking or two. Knows what she wants, melts at your fingers, and sharing isn't even an option. Sit, Stay, Rollover, Moan, Where did i put those handcuff keys?

Damn last one wasn't an order, i really need to keep a spare key.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 6:47:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
Amnesia wrote:
:d/ what do you mean kinky?:d/

I thought putting a women in a collar, pulling at her leash to draw her close, ordering her on your lap, rubbing the leash across her breast, inserting varies anal toys into her ass as you whispered sweet somethings in her ear, and making her sleep at your feet was vanilla.

Wait till i start getn kinky

The perfect women is flawed, needy, hungry for more, sometimes needs to be put in her place, often needs a light spanking or two. Knows what she wants, melts at your fingers, and sharing isn't even an option. Sit, Stay, Rollover, Moan, Where did i put those handcuff keys?

Damn last one wasn't an order, i really need to keep a spare key.


Awesome :) Now that gets me wet!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 7:58:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
Amnesia wrote:
:d/ what do you mean kinky?:d/

I thought putting a women in a collar, pulling at her leash to draw her close, ordering her on your lap, rubbing the leash across her breast, inserting varies anal toys into her ass as you whispered sweet somethings in her ear, and making her sleep at your feet was vanilla.

Wait till i start getn kinky

The perfect women is flawed, needy, hungry for more, sometimes needs to be put in her place, often needs a light spanking or two. Knows what she wants, melts at your fingers, and sharing isn't even an option. Sit, Stay, Rollover, Moan, Where did i put those handcuff keys?

Damn last one wasn't an order, i really need to keep a spare key.


That is amazing and yeah it gets me wet too :P Very nice
martb40
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 8:43:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/16/2013
Posts: 101
Location: United States
I've always been interested in the more exotic aspects of sex. I think that once I got over the romance idea of sex the possibilities became more intriguing. I can't say that I've always been interested in beam, that's a more recent development, but things that would shock the vanilla community were always to the fore in my mind. I like to push my limits and keep things interesting.
Amnesia
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 10:36:51 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 26
Location: United States
I agree Mart, sex, should be more then cumming, and rolling over to sleep, its an artform, a form of communication between you and your partner, You should be able to express your naughtiest thoughts, your passion, deepest desires, and act them all out, :D.

Yawns.....3 more subbies as friends.....grinds teeth.....the search continues.

Throws salt over my shoulder, what? gotta keep my karma good ya know. Can't wait to get my hands on the right sub.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 23, 2013 10:03:00 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
The first realization should have been when I realized I can almost orgasm from being bit super hard in certain areas (mostly the muscly part of my neck/shoulder) and how much I relished the big black bruises it left. The next one would have been when I would subtly try to get my ex who was way too delicate with me for my tastes to choke me, by pressing my neck into his arm during sex, but I had to be careful to not let out the choking noises or he'd pull back (drat!). Then I learned some of my limits from a fairly brief relationship with someone much older who was a little too sadistic for me, he relished my fear and pain too much, and I began to resent him, besides the fact that we weren't that great of a match outside the bedroom either. Now I'm with someone who treats me a lot more like his sex doll, and far less like porcelain, we're still learning together, but it has so far been extremely fun and I think it will only get better. :]
LASARDaddy
Posted: Wednesday, October 23, 2013 11:57:14 AM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 7/22/2013
Posts: 879
Location: Windsor, United States
Absolutely none of us are pure Vanilla!

I discovered mine many years ago. Mostly I'll do anything that doesn't involve real pain. I do not like to hurt, but some like a little sting in it. I'm not crazy about it to me, but I've given it to others and it worked well. Emotional damage is the worst. The hardest to get over and I avoid doing that with a passion.

We all have quirks and like and dislikes. Finding the match is the bitchy part. We go through a lot of chaff before getting to the good stuff. A lot of pain and emotional damage.

A proposal:

Pass a law that prohibits marriage unless you've corresponded with many others on a site like lush. By that time you'll have a much better idea about what you are and what you want. You'll also have probably found someone that matches you pretty well.



I am always a gentleman.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 24, 2013 7:29:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
I realized it when it I liked when I first slapped my girlfriend's ass when I was younger. She loved it and our relationship changed over time. We explored it and she was a natural sub that brought out my dominant. From there I just kept exploring.
LBsubmissive
Posted: Friday, October 25, 2013 5:37:19 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 11/1/2012
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
I didnt realise and then one evening a friend who i occasionally had something going on with, bent me over the bonnet of his car and spanked me. I instantly liked it and he started taking charge. Now i find vanilla sex boring and find it does nothing for me without a nice firm hand to keep me right!
Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 07, 2013 11:26:19 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,963
I knew deep down long before I even become sexually active. The fantasy were not the norm for such an age.
Hubby and I have experimented a hell of a lot and I have at times loved taking dominate role. It wasn't really about controlling him with things he could or couldn't do rather through my action and my knowledge of his desires and sexual likes so i could give him the pleasure. Out of that came my high knowing I did that to and for him.
However, it has been many years that I would wish for him to be capable to dominate me in the bedroom mostly and on occasions spill over into our life. To t
Take charge and for me not worry in silence if he makes the right decision or really thought things through.
Our relationship will never change as I am the more dominate responsible one and that's fine but I do wish on the odd occasion I could experience the feeling of true submission and knowing everything can be left in his hand....
God love him xoxo
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.