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Are you too clever..? Options · View
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 11:53:56 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,426
Location: Cakeland, United States
Are you too clever to be a mother?



Kate Humble, 44, says that she decided never to have children at 14 and has 'no maternal urge'


I myself, made a decision while in my late teens that I never wanted to fertilize human female ova. I've been called all sorts of things - from selfish to greedy to irresponsible. But I never thought it was possibly because I may have been too clever for my own good.

I've scoped out a few ex girlfriends on Stalkboo, I mean - on Facebook. None of the women I was ever interested in (half a dozen)- as possibly a lifelong marriage companion - has ever had children themselves. Were they too, also too clever.

I've had siblings & both parents - tell me to my face... "You never had a family, how could you possibly know what you're missing!"

'Excuse me, Ma - while I try to work that knife out of between my shoulder blades.'

Now I don't mean to insinuate that those of you who do have children are any less clever than those of us who never mothered nor fathered offspring. I just glimpsed this article and figured it might make for some clever discussion. angry9





If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
PrincessC
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 12:08:45 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/2/2012
Posts: 69
Location: South Africa
I have to say that I have never wanted Kids because I believe firmly in adoption and even though I am young I think my opinion on this is unlikely to change. Having said that, I doubt that my IQ has anything to do with it, and insinuating that those with more intelligence are more likely to not want children seems like a load of rubbish to me. Reports like the one that fueled the article leave out the circumstances of women who are intelligent for example women who are career orientated may decide that their jobs are more important and further more the article insinuates that having children makes you mentally inferior which I resent since it is a biological urge that transcends IQ.

“If a man can possess a woman sexually -really possess- he won't need to control her ideas, her opinions, her clothes, her friends, even her other lovers.”
― Toni Bentley
Mazza
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 1:47:35 PM

Rank: Mazztastic

Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,251
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
I don't think it really has much to do with iq, rather education...
We're in a situation where all these clever women are suddenly hitting their early 40s and realising that they do in fact want kids and struggling with fertility issues, jeapordising careers, partnerships etc...
I have two kids and my iq is 152...
It's more to do with your peers, the way you were raised and your outlook... In my opinion...
All part of the natural selection process... Probably?
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 2:02:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,865
To face the truth, not everyone is cracked up to be a parent. It takes a lot of patience, time, dedication, and love to raise a child. There are people who are willing to give up a lot for the sake of a bundle of joy, but we shouldn’t judge those that aren’t. If your daughter, girlfriend, or wife does not want kids there has to be a good reason for it, here are some of the possibilities. I’ve always heard my mother say to me: “You’ll never get a man if you don’t want kids!” I understand that having children is basically considered our point on earth, to keep the species going, but aren’t there enough people doing that already? People have been having babies since the beginning of time, and it’s almost like now its in a woman’s system that her most important purpose in life is to be a mother. Now, being a mother is a title worthy of much respect and adoration, but is it meant for everyone? IQ has nothing to do with it. There are some women who can change the lens of a microscope with no problem, but can’t change a diaper to save their lives. There are a lot of possible reasons and most likely than not they are just too darn simple - She doesn’t like kids.Face it, not everybody likes kids. They have the tendency to make A LOT of noise and be a lot of trouble. She’s not ready/She doesn’t feel her partner is ready. Having a child puts a lot of emotional and financial stress on a woman. If she doesn’t believe she can handle it, and she doesn’t believe her partner is capable of helping her, she may not want to consider kids. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you, but she probably doesn’t want to bring a child into this world if she’s not able to provide for it properly. A child is not like that puppy you wanted when you were eight years old and you promised your parents you’d take care of it, and then when you finally got it you let your parents handle it saying you were busy. You can’t be too busy for a kid, and face it, having a kid is a lot of responsibility. She is too focused on her career.
Women have fought long and hard for the ability to have equal rights in a society that is dominated by men. She’s afraid. This may seem a little ridiculous to you, but men don’t have babies. They don’t spend nine months with an ever expanding belly and then endure hours of painful labor. The “what-ifs” are endless. She’s jealous. It is a truth universally acknowledged that women love to be the center of attention. They love it when men compliment their figure or their hair. They love being constantly kissed and showered with love. When there’s a new baby in the picture, a woman might not get that same amount of attention that she had before. She can’t see herself as a mother. To be honest, we can’t all see ourselves as mothers. Her health may not be too good. Some women have genetic diseases or such that they do not want to pass onto their children. Whatever a woman’s reasons for not wanting kids might be, you should never judge her. Usually her reasons are sensible and deserve to be respected. The truth is, not all of us are meant to be parents. Sometimes we can be at our best by dedicating ourselves to our careers, our passions, or our lovers. No one has to bring a kid into this world if they don’t want to. We were given a choice in becoming parents; we must all make that choice wisely for the sake of our children.
inthemix
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 3:58:47 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 61
Location: United States
I'm not sure if I'm clever, but I do have great ideas from time to time. I like to be the giver in the journey of our sex life. Trying different things, mixing them up, pushing her to new limits. Past experiences & new idea's from reads here on lust is guiding us to new and uncharted places. Making memories, that's what it's all about, No?
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 6:28:23 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,088
Location: By a fireplace.
Is this a dig? evil4
Magical_felix
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 6:34:02 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,162
Location: California
WellMadeMale wrote:
But I never thought it was possibly because I may have been too clever for my own good.



LOL

You can safely go on thinking that it wasn't because you're too clever.



1ball
Posted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013 10:48:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 970
Location: United States
I don't think cleverness has anything to do with choosing the childfree lifestyle. Does it take cleverness or just stubborness to resist the bias the toward conforming? It doesn't take any particular cleverness to see through the claims that not having kids is more selfish than having them. Just ask people why they had kids and selfish reasons masquerading as altuism just roll out of their mouths.

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 7:04:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,865
As for our species, it would seem counter to the "survival of the fittest" if we assume that homo sapiens are developing cognitively rather than like animals, physically. The assumption introduced by the article confirms the Alpha dominating the Beta. Those who would out think the genetic pull to propagate the species are the ones who should actually procreate. We may think we are clever, but it seems, if the article's position remains constant, that we are just another animal species kidding itself, and that the mentally meek shall inherit the earth. Which would be a logical explanation for the abundance of reality shows, and Justin Bieber's career. We, subjectively speaking, subsume that we are a higher order of animal, but in the end, we need to be controlled by our loins, in order to survive. The animal within us all is the only recourse to our survival due to the danger of becoming more clever. That is, if coital might is actually right.





Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 7:33:09 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,865
Conversely, I have a feeling that we may just be a bunch of fucking idiots.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 8:53:07 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,865
I had always assumed I would have children, but it proved impossible. But, though it was not my preference, being childless is not the end of the world. We all have much to contribute to this world, and it's not limited to DNA. I think it is unfortunate that some who should never have been parents feel it is one of life's necessities. Neither choice is more "clever" than the other, but most forget it is a choice.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 10:33:35 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,426
Location: Cakeland, United States
Magical_felix wrote:


LOL

You can safely go on thinking that it wasn't because you're too clever.





Shake it and fake it til you make it, Jack.

You're constantly nipping at all the big dogs ankles. And what is your gain? Some degree of notoriety?

I'm wearing you like mud on my cape. 'Course I always have.



If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Magical_felix
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 10:41:24 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,162
Location: California
WellMadeMale wrote:





Shake it and fake it til you make it, Jack.

You're constantly nipping at all the big dogs ankles. And what is your gain? Some degree of notoriety?

I'm wearing you like mud on my cape. 'Course I always have.



Put your keystone light down, son.

Big dog... Yes you are. You are the big dog of the internet. Not gonna argue that. It's why I look on in awe. There goes wmm, internet OG.



WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 11:18:24 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,426
Location: Cakeland, United States
OG... prison talk eh?

You got some 'splaining to do now, Rickie Regaeman Man

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Magical_felix
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 11:23:49 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,162
Location: California
WellMadeMale wrote:
OG... prison talk eh?

You got some 'splaining to do now, Rickie Regaeman Man


OG = Original Grandpa

Rickie? Do you think I'm someone's fakie? confused1 I think I'm sad now. Take the tin foil cap off dude.



Metilda
Posted: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 11:48:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 1,218
Location: United States
Hmm - does that article factor in those who were pregnant and miscarried/had an abortion?

I can't speak for anyone else: but I have four kids and a 4.0 GPA.

I note that those they cite as examples are all older. . . and child rearing tends to happen while you're younger no matter how you go about doing it.

I, though, never sought to have children. First: didn't think to use BC. 2nd: used and it failed. 3rd: same as 2nd. 4th: Okay, well, hubbs was deploying so that's the only child we planned.

After having child #4 I had my tubes tied - and we found out that I had 3 ovaries, not 2. . .therein lies the problem behind the failed BC. The hormone levels my system were producing weren't being managed by the dosage. Whodathunk it?

sprite
Posted: Thursday, August 08, 2013 11:52:52 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,009
Location: My Tower, United States
Magical_felix wrote:

I think I'm sad now.


sounds like someone needs to pop a couple of midol and change their tampon.

Live, love, laugh.
Agrippa
Posted: Thursday, August 08, 2013 11:57:02 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 7/29/2013
Posts: 50
Location: United Kingdom
For those who are physically able to have (or, for that matter, father) children I would consider that it is a 'life choice' and as such does not have to fall into any category other than:
"Is it the right choice for me?"

The clever part is to make sure we come to the right answer.

The notion that is 'selfish' or 'greedy' or 'irresponsible' not to have children is, frankly, ridiculous and ill-conceived (as always, pardon the pun). These epithets can equally be applied to many people who have children and do not raise them with the love and care they deserve.

Irrespective of the thoughts and opinions of others any well-considered life choice has it's own value and should be respected as such.
Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, August 08, 2013 12:08:58 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,162
Location: California
sprite wrote:


sounds like someone needs to pop a couple of midol and change their tampon.


Comparing men to women to imply weakness is disgusting, antiquated and frankly, it offends me. Women are just as strong as men.

I would like to apologize on sprite's behalf to any young members reading this.



sprite
Posted: Thursday, August 08, 2013 12:13:58 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,009
Location: My Tower, United States
Magical_felix wrote:


Comparing men to women to imply weakness is disgusting, antiquated and frankly, it offends me. Women are just as strong as men.

I would like to apologize on sprite's behalf to any young members reading this.


think i'm going to go back to punching you until you cry. oh, wait, too late, you've already started!

Live, love, laugh.
chromedreams
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 8:31:44 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 9/11/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Southern US
I think giving life to a kid or two is the ultimate gift both for the kids and the world. Of course, it's not for everyone.
Ruthie
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 10:58:28 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,696
Location: United States
I am too clever by half, which is still not clever enough to not be a mom. Whether I am clever enough to be a mom will have to wait.
FES2069
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2013 2:00:55 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/12/2013
Posts: 10
I'm just clever as far as sex is concerned otherwise I'm totally dumb.
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