Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Poll Question : Would you give in to an ultimatum from a new gf?
Choice Votes Statistics
Yes 4 9 %
No 9 20 %
HELL no. 30 69 %
HELL yes. 0 0 %

Would you give in to an ultimatum from a new gf? Options · View
Metilda
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2013 10:08:47 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 1,227
Location: United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:


My assumption - if this conversation resulted in someone being served an ultimatum to break off a friendship than I wouldn't think the convo was favourable or just random chit chat. That rarely stirs up the kind of drama to incite that.

And in this hypothetical - it sounds like the BF is annoyed this 'private convo' got out, so I was thinking he wasn't the source of the blabbing.

Anyway - obviously as you said - we now know snooping is the issue. These "my friend said this about that friend and now you can't be her friend" type situations (or hypotheticals) always seem to be a clusterfuck of blame anyway.


That depends - some people are just prone to overreaction and take things the wrong way. Giving a 'break up with me or ditch your friend' is an overreaction - the only time something that would be warranted is if the 'friend' was 'more than a friend' in my opinion.

Guest
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2013 10:39:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
I said no, but in all honesty it would depend on a LOT of other factors than what was given. The situation might be a yes. It might also be a HELL NO. But in all honesty, if I still felt the need to talk to this other female friend, I probably would not be THAT interested in my "new girlfriend". If I was, I probably would not have felt the need to be talking to that other gal. Heck, a couple weeks? You would think both parities would be pretty much still in their honeymoon period and wanting to give as much attention to the other person as they could. LOL If not, it would be a more slow or casual girlfriend/dating situation, right? And if that was the case, why would she get so worked up over just talking to this other gal?

Yeah... lots of variables for such a seemingly simple question. :)
Guest
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2013 11:00:57 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
SweetGiselle wrote:
I would never let anyone tell me who I could have for a friend. I am sorry if that person really cares for the other you don't do that. If that is how the relationship is going to be after 2 weeks. I say get rid if her, there are plenty of other women out there who would treat you better and be very happy to have you.

very well said
kiera
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2013 1:58:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/23/2013
Posts: 14,080
Location: Sipping tea , United Kingdom
Hero_ wrote:
Depends on how the guy feels for his girlfriend, if he loves her and adores her and believes she is something special then yes he should take the ultimatum. The friend, if is actually a friend should understand that the happiness of the guy in this position is most important and should be understanding and willing to lose his friendship if it means his happiness with his girlfriend, that's what a loyal friend would do, one that's not self absorbed.

My answer is yes, but it's not 'giving in' as the question states. And you can't put a time value on friendship, the month with the girlfriend could mean so much more then the year as the friend


Big Hugs very true and 2 sides to every story. sad some pple claim to be victims :)
1lush
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2013 7:42:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/16/2012
Posts: 754
Location: Eastern, United States
HELL NO IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH OF AN ANSWER. MORE LIKE FUCK NO AND THERE IS THE DOOR.
Magical_felix
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:17:47 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,196
Location: California
Obviously things aren't going to last with a girl that is like this... So a smart guy would tell his friend to just chill while he bangs this new chick until she flips out and eventually leaves. The friend should understand if she's actually a friend and not some girl that wants more but pretending to be friends. Seems pretty simple. I mean guys do it to guy friends all the time. "hey dude, my new girl thinks you're a total shithead, sorry can't come over for now." The friend gets it and just chills until the crazy girl is gone.

But like if its obvious that the "friend" is all over the guys dick. Then I don't see the GF being that wrong really. It depends.



TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 6:00:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,330
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
Maybe this applies... Maybe it doesn't.
My best friend in the entire world is a guy.
I've been given the ultimatum from countless boyfriends over the years because they couldn't seem to get it through their thick heads that a man and a woman could be friends, let alone the best of friends. My bestie's had the same issue with girlfriends.
Guess what? They're gone and we're still friends.
It'll either work out or it won't. But I won't let a piece of tail ruin a friendship I've had for over 20 years just because someone I'm dating is insecure and my bestie knows it.
Nor would I ever try to come between my guy and his best friend. Irregardless of the gender.

Now if this all over some online bullshit... Then you guys need to get your shit together and your priorities straight cause it's kind of pathetic and sad. I'll never understand how people can play make-believe online and think it's real.
But that's just my 2 cents. Take it for what it's worth.

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 6:45:52 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
TheDevilsWeakness wrote:


Now if this all over some online bullshit... Then you guys need to get your shit together and your priorities straight cause it's kind of pathetic and sad. I'll never understand how people can play make-believe online and think it's real.
But that's just my 2 cents. Take it for what it's worth.

Well that is ONE way to look at things, indeed. But I would present it is no more pathetic and sad than the same exact things that happen off the Internet, and have always happened there. To me, some is definitely "make-believe" but no more so, than (again) the same things done in the "real world". The only difference is proximity to the other person or people.

We could extend that way of thinking to general friendships as well. Is the friendship a person has at work "real", if they never see each other outside the workplace? Maybe, maybe not. I guess it would depend on the people.

Or, how about friendships (non-sexual) people form on social networks in general? Are FaceBook friends REALLY friends or is that "make-believe" as well since you never met? Or how about on car forums? Or maybe sports forums? Or maybe even a SEX FORUM? ;)

I think it all comes down to the intent of each person individually. It depends on what each person is wanting or getting out of the encounter. The heart does not know if the person is sitting next to them or on the other side of the world.
TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 7:35:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,330
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
Nice edit JohnC. And for the record, my fakebook friends are just that. Friends. Not online lovers.
I'm part of a large online gaming community and I've never let myself believe that the people I played with were anything more than acquaintances. I never lied to myself and believed they were something more than what they were. Nor did I believe that the person they portrayed online was the gospel truth. I am not that naive.
My alarm bells raise pure hell at the first sign of anything remotely romantic when it comes to someone online. I don't trust it. But then I have trust issues. Just like my alarm bells start ringing when someone online finds something I've typed to be offensive. Take it for what you will, but that was not my intention. Not in the slightest. But if you feel that you have to defend yourself and others, go for it.
It's only my opinion and I did mention how I would never understand how people get wrapped up in an online love affair. I just cannot wrap my head around it.

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 8:07:14 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
TheDevilsWeakness wrote:
Nice edit JohnC. And for the record, my fakebook friends are just that. Friends. Not online lovers.
I'm part of a large online gaming community and I've never let myself believe that the people I played with were anything more than acquaintances. I never lied to myself and believed they were something more than what they were. Nor did I believe that the person they portrayed online was the gospel truth. I am not that naive.
My alarm bells raise pure hell at the first sign of anything remotely romantic when it comes to someone online. I don't trust it. But then I have trust issues. Just like my alarm bells start ringing when someone online finds something I've typed to be offensive. Take it for what you will, but that was not my intention. Not in the slightest. But if you feel that you have to defend yourself and others, go for it.
It's only my opinion and I did mention how I would never understand how people get wrapped up in an online love affair. I just cannot wrap my head around it.

So others know, my edit was not really to take out anything bad. I am sure TDW would have understood and appreciated the sarcasm, but I know others would not have... so I thought it was best to just remove it for the sake of a civil discussion.

But I also don't feel the need to defend myself or others. I simply posted an alternative opinion and view of the issue, nothing more. :)

As for me, if I post something others find offensive, I instantly go and read it again to see if I had unintentionally posted something that might offend others. I don't instantly think the others have issues or problems. Sometimes it is my post, other times it is the other person. meh.... it is what it is. I am glad that your intent was not as it might have appeared to others (and myself) in your other post though.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 3:10:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
Pussy whipped. Personaly , i wouldn't take kindly to a new friend / girlfriend telling me who i can and can;t have as a friend. secondly, snooping or spying on me would just piss me off even further.
overmykneenow
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 4:42:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,217
Location: United Kingdom
Personally I'd ask myself just when my life suddenly became a teenage soap opera.

Two weeks into a relationship? This isn't an ultimatum, it's ground rules. You're still in the cooling-off period at two weeks; either side should be able to say "I'm not sticking around if I have to deal with this shit".

If she'd put up with it for two YEARS and then kicked up a stink, then yes - it would be an ultimatum and would be symptomatic of some more deep-rooted problems. In all these types of scenarios it's worthwhile swapping the genders of the protagonists and seeing if you come to the same conclusions (it removes the distractions of "pussy-whipping").

Does it even count as a relationship after two weeks?

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Bluez52
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 4:48:42 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/27/2013
Posts: 8
Location: Conifer/Evergreen, United States
I'd tell the girl friend to take a walk. I don't respond to ultimatums very well!
1nfinitesexuallity
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 6:59:22 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/10/2013
Posts: 170
Location: kissimmee, United States
Bluez52 wrote:
I'd tell the girl friend to take a walk. I don't respond to ultimatums very well!


I'd say the same thing to the GF I mean damn if I've only known her for 3 weeks and I've known my best friend for a year well obviously she stays :P
Pussy_Predator
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 6:31:14 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/7/2012
Posts: 69
Location: Just behind you, United States
Shame on you Nope.. Sorry the number you have reach is no longer in service please hang up and try again d'oh!

Pussy_Predator
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 6:31:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/7/2012
Posts: 69
Location: Just behind you, United States
Shame on you Nope.. Sorry the number you have reach is no longer in service please hang up and try again d'oh!

Buz
Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 7:34:17 PM

Rank: The Linebacker
Moderator

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 7,124
Location: Atlanta, United States
I had enough of those kind of teen dramas in high school. A girlfriend of two weeks or even two months giving ultimatums would have to go. Even my wife doesn't give me ultimatums nor I to her. That is not conducive to a healthy relationship. (And don't do that 'relationship talk' either.)

Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.