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Poll Question : How do you react? (Poll is closed)
Choice Votes Statistics
Take offence, then tell him to get lost 0 0 %
Be flattered and politely decline 35 66 %
Take interest and see where conversation leads 14 26 %
Dive in at the chance of a new experience 4 7 %

Straight Guy in a gay bar: You go in, not realising it is a gay bar, and get hit on. Options · View
paul_moadib
Posted: Friday, November 01, 2013 4:18:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/31/2013
Posts: 567
Location: Docking bay 94
Some straight guys I know have been approached by gay men. They must give out some vibe or another.

I have never experienced this and although I am straight, I find it disappointing simply because it would be flattering, even if I subsequently decline his advances.

Has anyone experienced this? If so, what did you do?

If not, what do you think you'd do?
Guest
Posted: Friday, November 01, 2013 4:24:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 649,084
I am never offended when someone (of either sex or any age) finds me attractive or hits on me. Why would I? It says nothing about my sexuality. It simply shows theirs and that the find me attractive.
StylisX
Posted: Friday, November 01, 2013 5:15:05 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/20/2013
Posts: 37
Location: London, United Kingdom
One of my close friends is gay, and I went with him to a bar the first time to give him support.

I did get approached by someone, but I politely declined.

The only frustration was when a drunk man came upto me and was persistent that I might like it with him. That was the point I left the bar.
MasterJonathan
Posted: Friday, November 01, 2013 6:27:50 PM

Rank: Gentleman Master

Joined: 3/6/2013
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Location: God's Deep Freezer, United States
If I go into a strange bar, the first thing I do is stand there for a couple moments and scan the bar. I want to get an idea of what the place is about. Then I would go find a seat. That usually solves this dilemma.

As for getting hit on, if the guy is polite and not a jerk, I will be polite in declining. If not, I won't be the only one getting "hit on"!

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DutchMike88
Posted: Saturday, November 02, 2013 2:53:49 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/17/2012
Posts: 118
Location: Netherlands
I've never walked into a gay bar by accident but I've been to gay bars for they are quite common where I'm from.
On the subject of being hit on.. It has happened and I'm always polite just as I would be when a girl I'm not interested in would hit on me.

I think it is always nice to receive a compliment and indeed flattering, no matter who it's coming from.
garterbelt
Posted: Sunday, November 03, 2013 1:28:25 PM

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Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 250
Location: United States
I think it would be interesting to see where it went after some conversation. I could always so no at some point if it didn't seem like fun.
Buz
Posted: Sunday, November 03, 2013 1:37:23 PM

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Moderator

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Politely answer that i am straight. I'm sure that would suffice. I've been in gay bars before, never had it develop into a problem.

dpw
Posted: Sunday, November 03, 2013 2:32:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,447
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
Buz wrote:
Politely answer that i am straight. I'm sure that would suffice. I've been in gay bars before, never had it develop into a problem.

You got out alive with all your clothes on? They must have been real tame bars!
sign5
Bobsadventures2013
Posted: Sunday, November 03, 2013 3:33:49 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/28/2013
Posts: 85
Location: Australia
When I was 18 and working in a factory, my supervisor was gay, and he always was saying how cute I was, and if I wanted to
be with a man, he was happy to be my first.
At the time I didn't like the idea, now I think I would give it a go if I had the opportunity, and only under the supervision of my partner.
So the answer to your question is I probably would consider it if it felt comfortable. Still would have to have my partner present.
Bobsadventures2013
Posted: Sunday, November 03, 2013 3:38:08 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/28/2013
Posts: 85
Location: Australia
Take interest and see where conversation leads
Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, November 07, 2013 6:32:48 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,146
Location: California
MasterJonathan wrote:


As for getting hit on, if the guy is polite and not a jerk, I will be polite in declining. If not, I won't be the only one getting "hit on"!


If a guy aggressively hits on you, your response would be to physically hit him? Is that what you are implying?



Guest
Posted: Friday, November 08, 2013 7:29:41 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 649,084
Tell him politely that I'm straight and continue drinking my OJ
lafayettemister
Posted: Friday, November 08, 2013 7:41:32 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,421
Location: Alabama, United States
I've only been to a gay bar once in my life, and that was with four gay friends of mine. (and actually happened on a trip with a church music group.. the director is gay) It was a week night so there weren't a lot of people there. I went up to the bar to get the drinks, the female bartender looked at me and somehow knew I wasn't gay. Lol, she leaned over the bar a little bit and said, "You do know this is a gay bar right?", just as one of my friends walked up to help me carry the beers. The most effeminate one of the group, and he replied, "Girl, I sure hope so."

We spent two or three hours there drinking, hanging out/talking, and playing pool. No one hit on me. Either they saw the same thing the bartender saw in me, weren't interested, or assumed I was with one of the guys in the group. But if someone had hit on me, I'd have politely declined and gone back to talking with my friends.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Ace1047
Posted: Friday, November 08, 2013 11:55:27 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/24/2013
Posts: 105
Location: Elsworlds and What Ifs
None of the above. I've been in this situation, and my natural facial expression turned me from being hit on to the person hitting on me being utterly disgusted by me without my having said a word. I have this magic ability that many have tried to duplicate. none have been successful
I am proud of this.

And I've only begun fucking with you people.
At the end of the day, it's all math.
Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 2:22:06 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,146
Location: California
lafayettemister wrote:
I've only been to a gay bar once in my life, and that was with four gay friends of mine. (and actually happened on a trip with a church music group.. the director is gay) It was a week night so there weren't a lot of people there. I went up to the bar to get the drinks, the female bartender looked at me and somehow knew I wasn't gay. Lol, she leaned over the bar a little bit and said, "You do know this is a gay bar right?", just as one of my friends walked up to help me carry the beers. The most effeminate one of the group, and he replied, "Girl, I sure hope so."

We spent two or three hours there drinking, hanging out/talking, and playing pool. No one hit on me. Either they saw the same thing the bartender saw in me, weren't interested, or assumed I was with one of the guys in the group. But if someone had hit on me, I'd have politely declined and gone back to talking with my friends.


LOL I have no words.



dpw
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 2:32:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,447
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
Magical_felix wrote:


If a guy aggressively hits on you, your response would be to physically hit him? Is that what you are implying?

Well to be honest if a guy came up to me and felt my balls or grabbed my ass I probably would punch him and I'm gay!
Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 2:50:15 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,146
Location: California
dpw wrote:

Well to be honest if a guy came up to me and felt my balls or grabbed my ass I probably would punch him and I'm gay!


That's not aggressively hitting on you... That's groping. That's a bit different than hitting on you which is verbal. Groping is more of an assault. Even then, punching a guy after that can be taken many different ways... if you're a guy. Can you prove the guy grabbed your balls after the cops came? Is doing that worth your time? was he drunk of his ass and you just fucked up to defend your "honor" against a total stupid ass?



dpw
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 5:51:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,447
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
Magical_felix wrote:


That's not aggressively hitting on you... That's groping. That's a bit different than hitting on you which is verbal. Groping is more of an assault. Even then, punching a guy after that can be taken many different ways... if you're a guy. Can you prove the guy grabbed your balls after the cops came? Is doing that worth your time? was he drunk of his ass and you just fucked up to defend your "honor" against a total stupid ass?

Trust me there are gay bars and clubs where that is the chat up, it's happened to me more than once and they were stone cold sober. So where is the line between aggessively hit on and aggression? What do you do if a guy won't take no for an answer, sit and suffer?
argue boxing
BigAlinTX
Posted: Friday, November 15, 2013 11:51:37 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/12/2010
Posts: 50
Location: Dallas, United States
If the person is attractive and appealing (to me), even though I am straight I would consider it. I have been hit on and have taken up on a couple of offers. I good blow job is a good blow job -- and I have done several girls in the ass -- so there are no hang ups on the oriface. But I haven't been tempted to have a make-out sessions with any guys, or to think about a future in an apron. So -- hit away, guys.
dpw
Posted: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 8:36:31 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,447
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
StylisX wrote:
One of my close friends is gay, and I went with him to a bar the first time to give him support.

I did get approached by someone, but I politely declined.

The only frustration was when a drunk man came upto me and was persistent that I might like it with him. That was the point I left the bar.

Which bar, if you don't mind me asking?
mock1
Posted: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 10:10:29 AM

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Joined: 5/1/2013
Posts: 672
Location: Greece
I have never been to a gay bar but i did get hit on a couple of times by men. I felt flattered and i politely declined but i did had a beer with one of them, he seemed a nice guy.
seeker4
Posted: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 9:16:29 AM

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Never had the pleasure but if the guy was attractive, seemed sober (or at least not too drunk), and wasn't too obnoxious, I'd be willing to chat him up and see where it leads. Of course, that would also likely be my reaction if a woman hit on me in a regular bar.

Disclaimer: While I've identified as straight most of my life, I have become aware of a growing interest in sex with men and am starting to consider myself bi-curious so may not fit the parameters of the poll.


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dpw
Posted: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 9:27:30 AM

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Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
mock1 wrote:
I have never been to a gay bar but i did get hit on a couple of times by men. I felt flattered and i politely declined but i did had a beer with one of them, he seemed a nice guy.

Be careful in Mykonos, every bar is a gay bar. Oh happy memories!
Whistle
Thinsulater
Posted: Thursday, December 12, 2013 3:59:24 PM

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Joined: 9/15/2010
Posts: 182
Location: United States
I don't think I'm that attractive so that's flattering, but id still have to turn them down and send the my friends way. Charlie needs some loving.

SHEEP!
Shaman
Posted: Thursday, December 12, 2013 9:39:30 PM

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Joined: 9/5/2013
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Location: In a Galaxy far far away, United States
People can not help who or what they are by coming on to me just shows he has excellent taste
HotBttmInBriefs
Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2013 7:53:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 1,518
Location: United States
dpw wrote:

Well to be honest if a guy came up to me and felt my balls or grabbed my ass I probably would punch him and I'm gay!


Wow....I worked 6 years as a waiter in a truck stop. If I punched a person every time they grabbed my balls or my ass my knuckles would have been bleeding. And no not just by truckers and no not just by men. Most of them were drunk but not always even then.

You came to expect it as part of the job.

And I have never once been in a gay bar but I have been in many str8 bars and there are many women when drunk who will do the same thing.

Weavindreams
Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2013 7:57:09 PM

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Joined: 10/28/2013
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Location: On the bluffs above the Mississippi River., United
Been there done that, no big deal. Thanks but no thanks works as well there as it does anywhere else. Lastly, offended, by what? That's as silly as take offense to someone coming on to your wife or girlfriend not knowing that she is married or "going steady" with you. Why should I be upset because someone else finds me to be attractive? Or, the lady I first approached BECAUSE I found HER to be attractive? Remembering that "making a pass" and getting "handsy" are two ENTIRELY different things! Get handsy with me and I'll bark; get handsy with my lady and I'll bite yer nuts off!


dpw
Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2013 8:46:01 PM

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Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,447
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
HotBttmInBriefs wrote:


Wow....I worked 6 years as a waiter in a truck stop. If I punched a person every time they grabbed my balls or my ass my knuckles would have been bleeding. And no not just by truckers and no not just by men. Most of them were drunk but not always even then.

You came to expect it as part of the job.

And I have never once been in a gay bar but I have been in many str8 bars and there are many women when drunk who will do the same thing.

Yes but my ass doesn't compare to yours!
Embarassed
CrazyTexan
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 4:52:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/13/2010
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Location: United States
I think I would be flattered but would definitely decline. I have a feeling that being a straight guy in a gay bar would be a lot like being a girl in any bar in the US. After a while, being hit on would become a pain in the ass (no pun intended).
emersonbosworth
Posted: Sunday, December 29, 2013 9:55:41 AM

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Joined: 1/9/2013
Posts: 272
Location: United States
Have been in a couple gay bars, never had anyone try me, guess they knew I was straight at the time, Had one gal tell me she wouldn't serve me as I was in the wrong place, just left. no problem, had came into the place because I seen lots of women there, on closer look not all women. lol
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