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what is everyone's veiw on cyber sex with another! Options · View
darlvanhorn
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 11:41:20 AM

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Joined: 2/28/2013
Posts: 402
Location: United Kingdom
ok, yes I have had cyber sex and cam sex with another, but I was single, and had separated from my partner
I would like to know if there are couples out there who have cyber/cam sex, that their partner knows or not?
And if you consider it cheating?

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seeker4
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 11:47:17 AM

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Posts: 4,609
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I have had cyber and do think I cheated. OTOH, it is perhaps "less" of a cheat than getting physical. That's a judgement call based on one's values, though.

One of my favorite, and most viewed, stories. Bill and his daughter-in-law Becky relieve their sexual frustration with a steamy summer fling.

Frustration and Relief

The April Stories:

April's Secret - A college student learns a sexy secret from his girlfriend's past

The Pastor's Secret - A lonely minister seeks solace from an escort
darlvanhorn
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 12:18:47 PM

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Joined: 2/28/2013
Posts: 402
Location: United Kingdom
I do see it as cheating, even though your not getting physical with the other person. but it was something I also enjoyed.


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Guest
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 3:26:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,892
I tried it on another site years ago - just couldn't get into it

Personally, it's in that gray area between cheating and being faithful - but since it really does nothing for me, I abstain from personal choice
realz
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 4:39:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/29/2011
Posts: 225
I experimented with it some years ago. After an initial rush it got boring very quickly--haven't bothered in years. My wife became aware of it, wasn't crazy about it, but did not try to stop it either.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 10:37:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,892
Depends on the relationships people have and what they can accept. For me? If I caught my hubs web cam(ing) with someone he better have a good fucking lawyer.
seeker4
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 11:40:43 AM

Rank: Story Verifier
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Joined: 10/17/2012
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Location: Canada
realz wrote:
I experimented with it some years ago. After an initial rush it got boring very quickly--haven't bothered in years.


I think that unless both parties have good, vivid fantasies and are good at communicating online, it does wear out quickly. And even if both are good at it, eventually you run out of steam. Person-to-person may get repetitive, too, but at least there is the non-sexual relationship (talking, dating, whatever else you do out of bed) to keep things interesting (hopefully).

One of my favorite, and most viewed, stories. Bill and his daughter-in-law Becky relieve their sexual frustration with a steamy summer fling.

Frustration and Relief

The April Stories:

April's Secret - A college student learns a sexy secret from his girlfriend's past

The Pastor's Secret - A lonely minister seeks solace from an escort
dpw
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 12:05:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,457
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
darlvanhorn wrote:
ok, yes I have had cyber sex and cam sex with another, but I was single, and had separated from my partner
I would like to know if there are couples out there who have cyber/cam sex, that their partner knows or not?
And if you consider it cheating?


This was a subject that I was going to ask a question about. I've never done it and I don't understand the thrill of doing it, it just seems like masturbating while you watch somebody doing the same, this isn't a turn on to me. I didn't post as I figured the people that know the most about it are in the chatrooms and rarely if ever visit the forums.
darlvanhorn
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 3:31:47 PM

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Joined: 2/28/2013
Posts: 402
Location: United Kingdom
[quote=dpw]

This was a subject that I was going to ask a question about.



your welcome, that I asked.

I haven't done it since, maybe 2years now. and I when was, it was a turn on, but not only that, I thought we'd end in having sex in person. we did speak about it though never happening.

my reason for asking, is that, I heard somewhere that it wasn't cheating if you had a partner!

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scottish_chris
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 3:45:49 PM

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Joined: 7/9/2011
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Location: United Kingdom
I do enjoy it, but I guess it is cheating of sorts. Though the fun that could be had blurs out the bad side!
Mazza
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 3:50:45 PM

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Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,265
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
I think the consensus (from threads I've read here before) is this: If it's something you are hiding from your partner, then yes, it is cheating...

Certainly, I wouldn't like to think of my BF camming or cybering with someone else...
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 4:02:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,892
If you're hiding anything from your partner, even just social chatting, then it's cheating in a way.

If you can't be totally open with the person you're sharing most of your time with, then - IMHO - something is wrong
dpw
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 4:14:09 PM

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Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,457
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
scottish_chris wrote:
I do enjoy it, but I guess it is cheating of sorts. Though the fun that could be had blurs out the bad side!


Lol. Of sorts? Come on, of every sort!
It might make it hotter but you admit there's a bad side. It may be safe cheating but cheating nonetheless.
darlvanhorn
Posted: Wednesday, November 13, 2013 4:34:25 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/28/2013
Posts: 402
Location: United Kingdom
agree with dwp, cheating ain't good for the soul, and my partner knows when I'm lying to them.

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Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 4:06:40 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,892
I cyber/roleplay quite a lot and the majority of the time enjoy it.
I think it's extremely important to choose a partner or partners carefully though. In the past I've made the mistake of accepting an invitation to cyber without knowing very much about the other person. Aside from the obvious pitfall of pairing with someone that responds to your 250/300 words with, "mmmmmm" or "aaaaaah", which is maddening, there's the problem of not knowing much more than their name and, if you're lucky, a little bit of what turns them on or off. This very often leads to what amounts to the cyber equivalent of banging teeth together, awkward fumbling with unfamiliar garments and saying "Sorry" a lot.
I prefer to chat to people before cybering, getting to know them and their tastes, getting a feel for them. Quite often I know whether I'm going to cyber with a person within a fairly short time of the initial contact. Sometimes it just happens that the cybersex happens quickly, and can be a coin toss; I've had some great experiences and some lousy ones from that, but the vast majority of the time I'd rather chat with someone for days/weeks, however long it takes to feel comfortable and confident that when it happens it won't be wasted effort.
As for the cheating aspect, I'm single in reality but "in a relationship" here. On sites like this polygamy seems to be the norm, so problems arising from people cybering or camming are few and far between in my experience, though because real people with real emotions are involved there will always be real arguments over such things depending on the individuals.
I don't see it as cheating personally, though I can't say I'd still feel that way if I was in a real life relationship, opinions and feelings, like people, change with time and circumstance.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 4:51:23 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,892
I enjoy a good cyber from time to time, my bf knows and doesn't mind, sometimes he helps lol
Diogiones
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 8:48:28 AM

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Joined: 12/24/2012
Posts: 24
Location: United States
I have done it on several occasions, while I pretended to really get into for the others sake, I did not really get much out of it other than learning what the other fantasies were.
Camming is more exciting especially if there is voice. I'm a horrible typist and not being ambidextrous it's boring to me.
Phone sex is a lot better as you can hear their reactions and it is more exciting to me.
I have only had phone sex with one woman and that was a short lived relationship once she found a real life partner.

It's only kinky the first time.
Tranquil
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 5:30:02 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/31/2013
Posts: 2,685
Location: Curled up in front of a beautiful fire
personal moral code

The only time it is not cheating is when the only other person involved outside of your partner is you with you.
any third party be it chat/physical is cheating.

now if you are in a open relationship then you have I am sure, your own points of what is right and wrong pinned down for both of you to accept.

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syzygy
Posted: Thursday, November 14, 2013 8:42:51 PM

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Joined: 7/23/2012
Posts: 22
Location: United States
I agree with Cindee that it's maddening when someone is answering with 2 or 3 words the long three paragraph scenario you just wrote. Having said that, when someone is into the fantasy and you are as well it can be intensely erotic. That has only happened to me a few times. But they've been hot.

"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you odd."
--Flannery O'Connor
seeker4
Posted: Friday, November 15, 2013 7:57:24 AM

Rank: Story Verifier
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Joined: 10/17/2012
Posts: 4,609
Location: Canada
syzygy wrote:
I agree with Cindee that it's maddening when someone is answering with 2 or 3 words the long three paragraph scenario you just wrote.


This. My other peeve is people who spew those three paragraphs at you one sentence at a time in rapid succession and you can't get a word in edgewise even if you have a great idea for a direction to take the fantasy.


One of my favorite, and most viewed, stories. Bill and his daughter-in-law Becky relieve their sexual frustration with a steamy summer fling.

Frustration and Relief

The April Stories:

April's Secret - A college student learns a sexy secret from his girlfriend's past

The Pastor's Secret - A lonely minister seeks solace from an escort
thesexynun
Posted: Thursday, November 21, 2013 10:35:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/18/2013
Posts: 603
Location: the nunnery, United States
if you are single and need relief I say why not

it is honestly the SAFEST sex you can have

if you do it to get off for your partner will not give you the sex you need

well that is cheating

anything YOU cannot be honest about in terms of sex to someone you are with is cheating

do I understand of course I do... was in a sexless marriage it hurt more than anything else until my last lover and I split

can I get off while typing?

no I need two hands to type and two to pleasure myself

but in the end the only thing I care about is honesty

if your partner knows and is ok with then I say enjoy

nothing feels as good as good sex...no matter how you get it

(well as long as it is legal lol)

" smile..it is the second best thing to do with your LIPS!"
BelleduJour
Posted: Thursday, November 21, 2013 6:09:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,507
Location: Canada
I'm with the sexynun on this one. I've done the cyber/phone/cam thing countless times since my induction into Lush more than two years ago. I had a lot of fun and it got me off in more ways than one. Nowadays, I'm kind of over it and prefer candid and intelligent conversations with plenty of wit and humour and a healthy dose of flirtatiousness (nothing wrong with being flirty). angel7

With regards to the question posed, I have to admit that for ME, if you're hiding your activity on here or anywhere else for that matter, it counts as cheating. Lots of people like to sugar coat it and package it up nicely but it is what it is.

For me, the guilt would get the better of me. Karma can be a bitch.


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