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Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 08, 2010 10:38:16 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
My boyfriend/roommate has now stated that he wants to be on a 'break'.

What the hell does that mean exactly???

Ling
Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 08, 2010 10:52:17 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
It means he wants to break up "for a while", which means keep you on the sidelines for when he's ready again. It's unfair for you and disrespectful, IMHO.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 08, 2010 11:20:17 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
angry7 I guess he's asking for some timeout from the whole relationship? and maybe a time without you. Which is sort of unfair on your side if he didn't explain why he asked for this 'break'. Hang in there sweetie.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 08, 2010 11:50:00 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
Think of something incredibly kinky/erotic to do that you have never done with him, then go to him and ask him if its okay if you do this with one of the sexy blokes you've got lined up while on your 'break'.
Lisa
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 12:28:59 AM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 5,168
Location: Victoria, Australia
Ling-Li wrote:
My boyfriend/roommate has now stated that he wants to be on a 'break'.

What the hell does that mean exactly???

Ling


I guess you need to figure out how much he really means to you. Taking a break might give you the chance to decide whether this relationship is worth the effort, or whether you want to put your time into someone who really appreciates it.
Guest
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 1:45:18 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
he want's some space.
Guest
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 1:49:21 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
how can you tell if your trully loved
LadyX
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 3:04:03 AM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,813
I think I remember your posts because a lot of the time its about this guy that causes you so much stress.

Ling-Li wrote:
My boyfriend/roommate has now stated that he wants to be on a 'break'.

What the hell does that mean exactly???

Ling


It means he wants to sample other pussy, or he is tired and bored with you, or both, but doesn't have the balls to just say it. See, he can string your ass along forever, or at least he thinks can! So now he can get this "break" which means he don't have to feel guilty for running around on you.

Just curious, same guy that threats that "it's over" all the time? Same guy that had a girl on IM that he was trying to fuck? Same shitty communicator with other issues?

If the answer to those questions is yes, then it means fate hands you this and says "ya, he's a real dickhead, but its your chance to take control and go be happy on your own or with somebody else."

So do it girl, don't be his sucker and his mark anymore. Do it for you. He is handing you the key to get out of your own jail, baby. Let him make some other girl miserable and all guilt ridden, you can be free of his trifling bullshit.
Guest
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 4:53:38 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
If you were not living together you can bet he wouldn't say I need a break from you; he would just break up with you instead.

I hate all that we were on a break stuff, it just gets so compilcated.
Either one person doesn't see people or the other person shags everything in sight and then when you say I can't believe you slept with someone, they are then able to use the get out clause of we where on a break!

Reminds me of the episode of Rachel and Ross from friends ha ha lol
Very funny.

Either end it as a couple don't let it get to a nothing stage it will do nothing for your self-confidence it will just wear you out. icon_smile
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 6:01:56 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,603
Location: Your dirty fantasy
It means he wants to date/fuck other girls, but IF he can't find anything better, he wants to know that you'll still be there waiting for him.

Please don't believe the whole "I'm just so confused. But I do realize how much you mean to me. I just need time...blah blah blah".

He is just wasting your time.

This is the typical pattern of men who cannot be alone, and always need to be in a relationship. Think back, does he always seem to jump from girlfriend to girlfriend? He may be using this "separation time" to establish a new relationship with someone else. But he doesn't have the balls to cut things off with you first.

Or it could mean that he just doesn't know how to break up with you, and is laying the groundwork in stages.

Either way, if you really love this guy and/or want to shake things up, take back the control and dump him. He won't be expecting it, and it will give you the answers you need a whole lot faster. If he truly loves you, he will chase you if you walk away. And if he doesn't, then you'll be able to move on instead of wasting time in "take a break limbo".

Guest
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 6:11:03 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
Dancing_Doll wrote:
if you really love this guy and/or want to shake things up, take back the control and dump him. He won't be expecting it, and it will give you the answers you need a whole lot faster. If he truly loves you, he will chase you if you walk away. And if he doesn't, then you'll be able to move on instead of wasting time in "take a break limbo".


I agree...the only way he's taking a break sincerely because he believes it will do the relationship good is if he's staying with his parents or something, honestly needing time to himself. That being said, that's pretty much the 2% exception to the rule. If he's not already fucking around, he's getting ready to, and you can take this COMPLETELY to the bank now, as this is another guy telling you this. I've never actually pulled such a callous and gutless maneuver, but I've known plenty in the past who have. Don't waste your time, tell him "thanks for the backdoor!", go on a Saturday shopping spree, and find yourself a safe and equally hot one night stand...you'll feel whole worlds better.
iceman
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 6:21:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2009
Posts: 534
Location: Caifornia
Being a man, I have to agree with all of the women. This guy just wants permission to go out and fuck other women. You can, of course just say "ok" and leave it at that...

OR! You can say "OK!" and as soon as he leaves for work or to go out... pack his shit up, put it all outside, and
change the locks on the doors. Just make a sign for all to see:

"And good riddance! Don't bother knocking or calling, I'm busy getting laid!"

Just remember, guys that "take a break" will always, always, always.... come back begging that "you're the one and only for me."

cmsouza729
Posted: Friday, April 09, 2010 6:42:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/29/2010
Posts: 133
Location: Kent, United States
Just like everyone says he wants to fuck other girls. He's being sleazy, using it as an escuse and counting on you to just take it. He's a sleaze and he doesn't really care about you. Something tells me you know this already. So here's what I say, leave him. He doesn't care about you, go find someone that will repect you and won't treat you this way.
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 7:47:55 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
I appreciate everyone's input, truly!

It is the same man I have been with for a year and a half... and what everyone said is absolutely true. I found that he was already on dating websites, chat lines and was communicating with one girl in particular. I devised a plot and carried it out...

I had a friend from work, who is already in a relationship himself, ask me out and then come to the house and pick me up. I took my children to a babysitter's house and he and I (along with his gf and others from work) went out to have a few drinks. I stayed out until about 3 am and when I came home, my bf was livid and spoiling for a fight.

Little did he know that I was too!

We had it out and I told him that if he thought I was just going to sit around and wait for him to decide where our relationship was going to go without doing anything then he was dumber than a pile of dogshit. I also told him that I had been propositioned while out and had carried out a tremendously satisfying foursome in a van in the parking lot. When he began his jealous tirade, I simply looked him in the eye and in my sweetest voice stated, "I just wanted to take advantage of the opportunity YOU gave me to take a break and figure out if you're REALLY the one I'm meant to be with."

His face turned twelve different colors when he realized he couldn't accuse me of cheating without sounding like an ignorant prick! So he sputtered something about me being a slut and went into the bedroom.

The next evening he came to me and told me he decided that he wanted to give it another try. He told me that he had been chatting with some girl (which I already knew) and that he wouldn't talk to her anymore, that he deleted her from his messenger list and that he took her out of his email contacts. He also said that he wasn't going to be calling the chat lines and he already deleted his profile from the dating website.

I told him I would think about it... AFTER my date next weekend.

I'll let you know how it turns out!

Ling
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 9:20:59 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
Woman you seriously kicked some butt whoooooo ha ha Brilliant to read what you said to him. Keep it up woman I think you did brilliantly. toast
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 1:23:42 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
Oh my god that was awesome(crying with laughter)
thepainter
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 1:42:50 PM

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Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
You deserve a medal in bad assness haha!

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 4:03:00 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
Good going Ling-Li. Sometimes moving on is the right thing, life is too short for living in a river of bullshit.
LadyX
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 4:07:09 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,813
go girl! cheerleader
Lisa
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 4:17:38 PM

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Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 5,168
Location: Victoria, Australia
Well done, Ling.

hello1
nicola
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 4:29:21 PM

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Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,296
Location: In the Spring Blooms, United Kingdom
I wondered why he stopped calling me. cussing

Good work Ling-li!
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 5:07:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
thepainter wrote:
You deserve a medal in bad assness haha!




What he said way to go Ling
iceman
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 6:06:46 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/30/2009
Posts: 534
Location: Caifornia
Ling-Li wrote:
I appreciate everyone's input, truly!


((((QUOTES, IN PART!!))))

The next evening he came to me and told me he decided that he wanted to give it another try. He also said that he wasn't going to be calling the chat lines and he already deleted his profile from the dating website.



Ling




See? I told you he'd come begging....

You've done good, girl! But, I'll bet he's deleted nothing!
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 8:32:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,224
I already knew he had a profile. I had gotten the feeling that he was doing that, so I called the chat line one evening while I was at work... guess who was there?

And thus far (for these last two days anyway) he seems to be on his best behavior. He's doing everything I ask, seeing how I'm doing, calling me 'honey', and mostly just doing anything he can to kiss ass.

I'm probably going to make up with him, but I'm sure as HELL going to make him sweat about it for another week or so first.

I'm dressing sexier at work, just to piss him off! He keeps going on and on about how good I look, but meekly asking whether I need to look THAT good for work. I make him crazy when I tell him that I've gotten more offers of dates at work in the last couple of days.

This is kind of fun, I might just do it every so often just so he knows he BEST keep himself in line and not pull this bullshit anymore! hello1 Yea me!

Ling
Buz
Posted: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 8:58:27 PM

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Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 7,404
Location: Atlanta, United States
'Taking a break' means its over. Sayanara, Adios, 'the fat lady has sung'!!!

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