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Can online relationships be significant or meaningful? Options · View
cajunbuckaroo
Posted: Sunday, September 29, 2013 1:51:38 AM

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If I only had a brain! I've made several online friendships that are as close to me as my real rriends. After getting to know them well, I've exchanged E-mail addresses, phone numbers, pictures, (both explicit and not), and have even loaned money to online friends that needed some help. So far, I've never been disappointed with the online friends I've made. But I do agree, you should take some time to get to know the person you're talking with and make sure they aren't one of the scammers! We've all seen them, and after talking with them for a bit, they're easy to spot. I like to friend people on here with complete profiles, including pictures of themselves. Sorry, but avatars make me suspicious. I can understand the women not wanting to show their faces, but, c'mon guys, what's up with the Brad Pitt and Sam Elliot profile pic's? With me, what you see is what you get! O, and BTW, I've always been paid back money I've loaned to cyber friends, but that doesn't make me an easy mark. Just sayin'.............
Guest
Posted: Sunday, September 29, 2013 2:30:34 AM

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[quote=JohnC]Great responses folks. Well, the heart knows no distance or medium. Sure, being able to physically touch the other person is preferred, but when your heart is touched, it is touched; period.

Exactly this. Logic can tell you all it likes until your heart is touched by love. Perhaps a more appropriate question would be not whether they are significant but how long they can be sustained.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 01, 2013 10:46:50 PM

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Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 02, 2013 9:06:30 PM

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cajunbuckaroo wrote:
If I only had a brain! I've made several online friendships that are as close to me as my real rriends. After getting to know them well, I've exchanged E-mail addresses, phone numbers, pictures, (both explicit and not), and have even loaned money to online friends that needed some help. So far, I've never been disappointed with the online friends I've made. But I do agree, you should take some time to get to know the person you're talking with and make sure they aren't one of the scammers! We've all seen them, and after talking with them for a bit, they're easy to spot. I like to friend people on here with complete profiles, including pictures of themselves. Sorry, but avatars make me suspicious. I can understand the women not wanting to show their faces, but, c'mon guys, what's up with the Brad Pitt and Sam Elliot profile pic's? With me, what you see is what you get! O, and BTW, I've always been paid back money I've loaned to cyber friends, but that doesn't make me an easy mark. Just sayin'.............


First of all can I borrow $50.00, i'll pay you back on friday Whistle

I have a VERY significant and meaningful relationship on Lush and actually there are three people that I have deep feeling for. It is definitely possible and very common. Just be careful you don't get your heart broken, remember it is online and it is important to be getting out and meeting other people. bunny
Thrill_Seeker18
Posted: Wednesday, October 02, 2013 11:27:50 PM

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Joined: 9/30/2013
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Location: United States
I had strong feelings for someone that I met on the internet, we talked everyday but it never seemed to be enough. We always talked about how much we wanted to be together but she lived in Colorado and I live in Georgia, she even tried to convince me to let her come down and visit. I thought that would just make me miss/want her that much more after she had to go back. I told her we should stop talking because nothing would ever happen between us, I thought it would be easier to get over one another that way. Big mistake. I have no way of getting back into contact with her now. I miss and think about her everyday, I wish I hadn't have been so stupid as to think we couldn't have had a successful relationship over the internet.
dpw
Posted: Thursday, October 03, 2013 1:19:26 AM

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kiera wrote:


Honestly I completely agree, I thought it was an absolute joke until I met Hero_ and was swept off my feet, I used to laugh at people who were in online relationships, but well now I see it can work if you both put the effort in and I just changed my status, something he has wanted for months and I was reluctant to do.

I guess only time will tell if it works out Im new at this but for now I am happy.


He's stunning. My advice would be to get on the next plane to Oz and not just to watch the cricket, phew! Lol
simply_sweet
Posted: Thursday, October 03, 2013 3:31:04 AM

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I think that with the right two people in the relationship, yes they can be incredibly significant and/or meaningful.
That being said, I'd like to give my two cents from both angles... based off of personal experience. (not necessarily here on Lush)

Example 1: We were two people that were brought together online by pure chance. A romance based on lust, lies, and naivety. Cheating was prominent (on the other party's part), and we went our separate ways. Definitely NOT a significant/meaningful relationship by any stretch of the imagination.

Example 2: We were two people that were brought together online by drama. An odd connection that seemed, at the time, nonsensical and not worth it really. Time brought the knowledge that we actually were well suited for one another. A lot of fun, good chats, honesty, trust, and of course... great sex ;) Well suited for each other... sort of each other's opposite, which sparked interesting debates, yet still enough in common to keep things fun and light. That being said, the feelings that went into it were very much so deeper than the other... a truly significant and meaningful relationship in my humble opinion.

Upsides of online relationships? Distance, no physical activity to get in the way of deeper conversation, you can get to know them for who they are not what they look like, etc.
Downsides of online relationships? Distance, no physical connection, more difficult to trust them, easier to deceive, etc.

With that, I guess all I have to say to anyone thinking of getting into a REAL, meaningful, and significant relationship online (here or elsewhere), is to just be careful. Be choosey. Remember, you don't have to go with the first guy/girl that makes a pass at you. Look deeper than pretty words and placating lines. If it's something you're really looking for, don't give up after a bad apple or two.



Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


simply_sweet
Posted: Thursday, October 03, 2013 3:34:00 AM

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Oh, also...


Skype rocks hahaha it has made online relationships far more ''real'' since you can see what the other's face looks like in reaction to your words. It basically makes my day when I get to see his face on Skype :)

Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


Shaman
Posted: Wednesday, October 09, 2013 9:38:52 PM

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yes they can
buttercup2u
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 1:29:31 AM

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Joined: 10/13/2012
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Location: lost in paradise, United States
Online relationships can be very significant and meaningful. Even the ones that end badly tend to be significant and meaningful. We all take away something from every person who we meet, no matter where we meet them, online, in the grocery store, at church, or the beach.

A very significant person in my life once told me with regards to online relationships...on the other side of that screen sits another human being with emotions and feelings just like you have. My relationship with that person ended badly, but in the words spoken to me, I found a pearl of wisdom that I have held in my heart since the moment it was given to me.

I think that all too often, we are too narrow minded about what is significant and or meaningful. To me, to bring a smile to someone's face or to send a hug to a hurting friend, even though it is online, to let them know that they are not alone, that they are loved and cared for, is a very significant and meaningful thing.

Now as for online love relationships...they are the same as any other love relatonship. There are those who will thrive and those who will wither. I think that its a lot about compatibility. I agree with SimplySweet where she talks about skype. What a wonderful addition to the online experience! We now have the means to see the other person's body language and hear their words in their own voices, full of intonation and inflection that is often lost in the written messages. We are entering a completely new way of meeting and connecting with people professionally, socially, and romantically that is unparalleled.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 2:15:44 AM

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i think over time they can be, People just click and when in the position of finding someone you truly trust and enjoy the heart takes over no matter the distance.. What i have found though that being online can work in opposite direction, either being more guarded than you would be in real life or throwing all caution to the wind and experience a relationship alot faster than normal..

We are all adults here and as long its all consensual let the mind and heart flow
luvuall
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 2:51:55 AM

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Location: Colombo
Relationships are based on trust, love & dedication. No mater where it begins, as far as two person can come exchange their thoughts about life and the world and come to a understanding of each other. Therefore I do believe online relationship can be lead to good real relationship when you can end up being good friends or family.

Wish you all a lovely day

Hugs

Guest
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 4:27:23 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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im a firm believer that as long as you have faith and trust then yes ne thing can happen but ive also been married three times so i might b wrong on that u just never know.....but all im saying is yes if 2 ppl love one another and r happy knowing that one day they will come c each other and they trust one another.
ravenpearl
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 5:30:22 AM

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Joined: 2/16/2013
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Location: United States
we use a machine to reach out to the world. that machine doesn't work alone we meet people we click with them..we sometimes even fall in love through them..but there is always a another heart another soul on the other end...and the thing about online relationships they hurt just like the real thing...
asleep
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 6:28:45 AM

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ravenpearl wrote:
we use a machine to reach out to the world. that machine doesn't work alone we meet people we click with them..we sometimes even fall in love through them..but there is always a another heart another soul on the other end...and the thing about online relationships they hurt just like the real thing...



Well said, Raven ... very well said.



http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/exit-33-trust.aspx

LASARDaddy
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 10:05:26 AM

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shylass said it eloquently and asleep confirmed it. I agree with, "Never apologize for the way you feel." You believe it, you said it, stand with it.

I tried a couple dozen sites to see what was going on and I stumbled across Lush because of the stories. I never thought a relationship could develop into anything significant.

I admit freely I was wrong. I met someone here that means a great deal to me already? It is fast, dangerously fast. In business anything that grows to fast is generally not stable and tends to fail. I want this marvelous thing thats happening to me to go on.

Slow, time, patience, it's so much better then and it gives you time to build a very strong base. I enjoyed reading all the positive responses. Yes! A very strong and long lasting relationship can be achieved. It must be on an equal level for me. She needs to be strong and not require a man to make her complete.

I think I found her so to you;

Thank you

I think I disproved that old theory about old dogs not being able to learn new tricks too.

I am always a gentleman.
rune
Posted: Monday, October 28, 2013 7:20:14 AM

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Location: never never land
buttercup2u wrote:
Online relationships can be very significant and meaningful. Even the ones that end badly tend to be significant and meaningful. We all take away something from every person who we meet, no matter where we meet them, online, in the grocery store, at church, or the beach.

A very significant person in my life once told me with regards to online relationships...on the other side of that screen sits another human being with emotions and feelings just like you have. My relationship with that person ended badly, but in the words spoken to me, I found a pearl of wisdom that I have held in my heart since the moment it was given to me.

I think that all too often, we are too narrow minded about what is significant and or meaningful. To me, to bring a smile to someone's face or to send a hug to a hurting friend, even though it is online, to let them know that they are not alone, that they are loved and cared for, is a very significant and meaningful thing.

Now as for online love relationships...they are the same as any other love relatonship. There are those who will thrive and those who will wither. I think that its a lot about compatibility. I agree with SimplySweet where she talks about skype. What a wonderful addition to the online experience! We now have the means to see the other person's body language and hear their words in their own voices, full of intonation and inflection that is often lost in the written messages. We are entering a completely new way of meeting and connecting with people professionally, socially, and romantically that is unparalleled.


very well said... i agree with you and also believe in it...

desire_longing
Posted: Thursday, January 02, 2014 10:01:14 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/28/2012
Posts: 70
Location: United States
buttercup2u wrote:
Online relationships can be very significant and meaningful. Even the ones that end badly tend to be significant and meaningful. We all take away something from every person who we meet, no matter where we meet them, online, in the grocery store, at church, or the beach.

A very significant person in my life once told me with regards to online relationships...on the other side of that screen sits another human being with emotions and feelings just like you have. My relationship with that person ended badly, but in the words spoken to me, I found a pearl of wisdom that I have held in my heart since the moment it was given to me.

I think that all too often, we are too narrow minded about what is significant and or meaningful. To me, to bring a smile to someone's face or to send a hug to a hurting friend, even though it is online, to let them know that they are not alone, that they are loved and cared for, is a very significant and meaningful thing.

Now as for online love relationships...they are the same as any other love relatonship. There are those who will thrive and those who will wither. I think that its a lot about compatibility. I agree with SimplySweet where she talks about skype. What a wonderful addition to the online experience! We now have the means to see the other person's body language and hear their words in their own voices, full of intonation and inflection that is often lost in the written messages. We are entering a completely new way of meeting and connecting with people professionally, socially, and romantically that is unparalleled.


So true. On line relationships can bring so much to your life. Both ups and downs. I myself prefer the ups. :)
Guest
Posted: Thursday, January 02, 2014 11:42:22 AM

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I understand that attraction makes us think in love or passion, but would it work if I meet this virtual friend face to face?
I have seen beautiful people but touching their hands, or "smelling" them made me feel disgust.
Dancewithme
Posted: Thursday, January 02, 2014 3:53:27 PM

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Sandrita48 wrote:
I understand that attraction makes us think in love or passion, but would it work if I meet this virtual friend face to face?
I have seen beautiful people but touching their hands, or "smelling" them made me feel disgust.


A bit Sartrian but not off base. This is a major topic of research in psychology right now. "Virtual" reality for today's kids is more "real" than the real world....it is a very complex problem....but my experience has taught me that people are very different from their on line appearance or persona...I find it personally harder to work here on line (not this site specifically) and get understood than in real life....if someone really wants to "know" me they have to know me in real life....so it goes both ways.
I wonder if anyone has ever asked the question: where do you feel most free to be yourself?
Many would say on line. what percentage. I wish I knew that.

I crave so much more than a physical connection. I crave your words and depth. I crave who you are and where you came from, your desires and fears. I yearn to know every inch of you beyond the surface.

-All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth. (Friedrich Nietzsche)

"Griefs upon griefs! Disappointments upon disappointments. What then? This is a gay, merry world notwithstanding." (President John Adams).
BelleduJour
Posted: Thursday, January 02, 2014 10:14:48 PM

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Location: Canada
A meaningful and significant online "relationship" can also include friendships, not just love interests. I've met some amazing people on here over the years and have shared so much of myself with them and them with me. Just like in real life, some are closer to me than others and thus a few have made it to my Facebook friend list, others I communicate with on Kik or Yahoo or text outside of Lush. I would definitely count these as being significant and meaningful relationships as much if not more than the other obvious kind.

Guest
Posted: Thursday, January 02, 2014 11:29:47 PM

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I think it's definitely possible, just that you are missing so many things that are important, but not necessary, to a good relationship. Physical affection, tone of voice, actions rather than words in general are things you won't get.
Guest
Posted: Friday, January 03, 2014 2:34:26 AM

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Aidin wrote:


A bit Sartrian but not off base. This is a major topic of research in psychology right now. "Virtual" reality for today's kids is more "real" than the real world....it is a very complex problem....but my experience has taught me that people are very different from their on line appearance or persona...I find it personally harder to work here on line (not this site specifically) and get understood than in real life....if someone really wants to "know" me they have to know me in real life....so it goes both ways.
I wonder if anyone has ever asked the question: where do you feel most free to be yourself?
Many would say on line. what percentage. I wish I knew that.
In personal life would be ideal, but as we tend to frustration living with real, better to stay in friendship. And I think no one is 100% sincere online.
dragon_lilly
Posted: Friday, January 03, 2014 2:11:54 PM

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Location: on the river, United States
The feelings can be really sincere, the love can be real..... but both people have to be honest and real. I have been devastated by online relationship that was not honest. So honesty is the best policy, online and face to face. But I believe in love no matter what the medium. So I am willing to close my eyes and jump again!!

adagio_sabadicus
Posted: Friday, January 03, 2014 2:45:34 PM

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If the trolls are domesticated...maybe. I take that back. Get a pet rock, they don't deceive.confused5 director Regaeman Man
Karranaz
Posted: Friday, January 03, 2014 3:19:35 PM

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Yes it can be meaningful, loving, understanding, healing, supportive and in my case therapeutic. It has its own very unique challenges. It can be frustrating at the start but if the two love birds are serious and are truthful to each other and both are willing to let the curtains down it should still be taken, developed and maintained outside and beyond the realms, limitations and boundaries of a fantasy world (computer screen) in order for it to grow and have a real clarity and deeper meaning. There is still no substitute for physical presence and "intimacy" for me is undeniably 'physical' - a key factor in any kind/origin/form of relationships.

LongBeachShaker
Posted: Sunday, January 05, 2014 12:02:12 AM

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While it's a fair question, their can be more than one answer, depending on the significance of the relationship.

I am generally attracted to people on their attitude and their demeanor, as well as their "purported" looks. Well, we all are visual people, but in general looks and attitude are remarkably similar. Online, especially with strangers, we tend to be able to be very candid about our lives, especially our sexuality, in such a way that we can rarely be with people we know, live with, or are even friends with in real life.

So basically, attractions that occur emanate not only from lust, but our desire to be with someone who knows our deepest secrets. This is a different dynamic of attraction that would occur through conventional means, that is, being more closed about most things, then gradually opening up.

Then there is the human need to connect. It's one thing to share passionate, intimate secrets, by typing (and masturbating), but it's completely different to be reciprocated by a human sense, either through hearing (by voice or on the phone), by vidcam, or finally, in person.

But what happens when people meet in person is that it tranforms the online dynamic to a real world dynamic, with all the inherent issues that result from meeting in the CONVENTIONAL manner. This is where a lot of relationships that started and maintained online, long distance, may fall apart.

In my case, I don't have relationships with people online, but I do have friendships. But they aren't the types of friendships that are the same as the ones I have in real life. For instance, I would loan a real life friend, say, a thousand dollars. But an online friend, who I may share more intimate moments or passions, I would balk at such a loan.

So the short answer is, yes, online relationships can be significant, even meaningful, but ultimately, that type of relationship for me would have to evolve into real life for it to be pertient, otherwise, it's an online friendship. Great for ego boosting, great for an incredible libido enancer, but ultimately, not good for full relationship status.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 05, 2014 12:58:15 AM

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Yes I believe so. I have only to be honest about the devastation I've felt when online relationships have ended for whatever reason to know and accept the truth of how meaningful the relationship was to start with
MorganMoans
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 7:03:27 PM

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In a way I believe you could have one of the strongest relationships online- if you are honest. Online they don't take your body or looks into account when all they have is your personality. They actually know you for who you are inside.
jolander055
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 8:42:14 PM

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Location: Wangaratta, Australia
MorganMoans wrote:
In a way I believe you could have one of the strongest relationships online- if you are honest. Online they don't take your body or looks into account when all they have is your personality. They actually know you for who you are inside.


100% agree
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