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Life in the Reaches of Cyberspace Options · View
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010 6:25:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296

One member recently deleted herself when an aspect of her on-line persona was exposed as a lie. She had been a member quite awhile but had only recently started posting to the forum. This begs a question.

How real is the on-line life?

Personally, I think it is very real.

We form on-line relationships, some tight others superficial but nonetheless we relate with one another. We chat, we discuss/debate on the forum, post images, create profiles, write and read stories. Our place in cyberspace is not without meaningful interactions. Quite the contrary.

There are difference between cyberspace and real space but I believe many things are very much the same.

What is your opinion of life within cyberspace vs real space?
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010 6:33:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296

I presume for some it is RolePlaying with their persona online. For others, it's the real deal.

I have always looked at online as a place in where I can really be myself - exposing my darkest or most secret parts, because, no one is looking in my eyes with a judgmental disapproval. And, pleasantly, finding out that others have similar ideals/ways about themselves.

With that being stated, I am concerned about safeguarding my personal information, and don't share readily with just anyone. Always safer to be cautious than assume the other people are just as honest.

So .. me, I am very real .... I just share certain parts of me.

cheers!

Van
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010 11:24:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
Why lie about who you are? This is our community and our personalities and who we are should be shining through. I can understand not having pictures up of yourself because you want to keep things private but to say you are twiggy (cracks up again)...I also get that sometimes certain aspects of our personalities come through while others get pushed behind when you are online especially here but these are part of your personality as a whole.
Rembacher
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010 11:33:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/16/2008
Posts: 1,107
I tend to treat lush as reality. And because I treat it as the real world, the people I interact with tend to do that too. But I've also been accused of bringing too much reality here too. It was suggested to me that some people use lush as an escape from a reality they aren't happy with, and sometimes being too real can remind them of it rather than let them escape.

I think both points are valid. It is reality when you treat it that way, but it can also be the escape from reality. As Van says, it can be a place where you show your true self without fear of rejection or ridicule.
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010 11:36:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
i too find myself being honest here...maybe even more than in real life. here we only have text and so much can get lost. tone, inflection, meaning. its so much easier to be honest and open so that others might know who we are.

but i can see for some how online might be a chance for them to live a life they could not other wise. to be a person they cannot be in the real world.
LadyX
Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010 2:03:07 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,804
To me it's a real and welcome part of my life- and maybe the reasons I like it are different from other people, but it allows me to talk and read about things that I think about all the time, and do it with others that are the same way, at least on a site like Lush. It helps me to be online- it's something different from what I am surrounded by in life. I can write, and exchange ideas. I can learn about things that I can't find out as easy without the internet. I can let my guard down a little, even though it took me a while to figure out that I could, and that it would be good for me to do so. I can learn about lives other than the kind I know about. It helps me to not feel like I'm stuck in a box, that there's other things out there for the taking.

I could go on and on, but yes, to answer your question, it is real to me. In some ways it is TOO real, but it's up to each of us to set limits of what others can do and see about you.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010 2:11:02 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,185
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Everyone is different in terms of how much of themselves they feel comfortable sharing in an online community.

I think if someone sees this as a place to get quick-fix cyber entertainment, then creating a fantasy-persona might be preferable.

But if you're posting opinions in forums and forging real relationships with people, then it only makes sense to be your authentic self. After all, whose opinions on things are you giving if they are not your own? And more importantly, why would you want to waste so much time and energy trying to fake it.

I used to be critical of the idea that anything meaningful could be gained from online social communities. I had bad experiences with myspace and facebook, so came into Lush mainly just to write/post. I'm a "wordy/expressive" person in general, but have genuinely been impressed with some of the awesome people on this site.

Everyone knows varying degrees of me...some very little... some a whole lot more than I ever imagined...

But it's been great! If you aren't being yourself, you do yourself a total disservice to the connections you can make here...


Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010 2:15:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
"What a tangled we weave, when our efforts are to deceive."

That goes for online or real life.
Remington
Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010 2:25:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/21/2010
Posts: 1,753
I think I know who you are talking about, deleting their profile after being discovered as a fake.

Honestly, the name in my profile is an alias. I'm not posting my real name in fear of being spotted by someone I know in town. My profession is too important to me, not too mention the company I work for is owned by my Grandparents. I'd rather they not know about this. That's my only fault..

Go check out my new story - How Did This Happen? - John's Story

Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010 3:00:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
That's not a fault at all, Rem. You have to protect your online privacy like anyone else.
ejls
Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010 3:19:06 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/31/2010
Posts: 88
While I am not ashamed of my writing, or anything that I may post on a forum, my friends and family would crap if they knew. For that reason, my identity is the one thing I hide. Other than that, I am open, and don't lie. Why do that? It's much too hard to keep up with and cover.

As far as others, I've been lied to, stalked, threatened. It's been handled different ways on different sites. It's my own fault, because I trusted that others were being as honest as I was. You just never know.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, July 23, 2010 12:21:44 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States
How Facebook can fuckup your entire life.

And these are just the most obvious 10 ways. I see my ex-girlfriend now experiencing immense grief with and from her immediate family members, for things she did and typed on-line, 7, 8, 9 years ago, before she decided to become more anonymous.

Unfortunately for her, she's always used the same username, from day one of her getting on-line.

Fortunately for her, there are about three dozen other people around the world (at least according to Google) who have used the same username.

Unfortunately for her, some of those people have strayed into websites that she would never venture upon.

And her parents and siblings all now think she is truly fucked in the head. If she wasn't independently wealthy, I don't see how she could recover with regard to employmennt, getting insured, or ANYTHING.

Facebook is truly the worst idea to ever be unleashed upon the ignorant on-line community. And there are 500 million users?

egads

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 23, 2010 1:00:02 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
That's the problem, Male Man. They don't realize how badly it can screw 'em up.
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 23, 2010 1:51:53 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
As far as I see it, people who are themselves will make it generally known. Fakes will generally stay hidden. We're interacting with real people (most of the time) so why not be truthful? People just need to learn how to be truthful without being completely open about everything they do and/or say
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, September 2, 2010 10:12:30 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States


Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
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