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Girls: you care about your exes? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 2:51:22 AM

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When you end a relationship with some guy, it affects you to know how life treats this guy in the future?

Imagine you left him, he was just an average joe, but after a few months/years you happen to come across him and you find the guy is a millionaire, succesful family man, after you left him his life went all the way up.

How would you feel? Indiferent? Happy for him? Jelous? Would you rather not know?

Mind you, we are talking about a guy YOU left, you treated him badly, you cheated on him etc.

Would you have the same feelings had he been the one who left you and treated you badly?
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 3:13:03 AM

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javier wrote:
When you end a relationship with some guy, it affects you to know how life treats this guy in the future?

Imagine you left him, he was just an average joe, but after a few months/years you happen to come across him and you find the guy is a millionaire, succesful family man, after you left him his life went all the way up.

How would you feel? Indiferent? Happy for him? Jelous? Would you rather not know?

Mind you, we are talking about a guy YOU left, you treated him badly, you cheated on him etc.

Would you have the same feelings had he been the one who left you and treated you badly?


This is such a strange question to ask. There is a reason that an X is just that, a former partner.

Why on earth do you think that when a woman leaves a man, it's because she treated him badly, by cheating on him or whatever? Relationships end for a lot of different reasons.

If the relationship was at an end, then knowing he was hugely successful shortly afterwards wouldn't make any difference at all to me. Why should it? It's laughable to insinuate that after a woman leaves a man, his life will improve to the extent tthat he is a millionaire, because she left him. No, it's not laughable, it's insulting.

An X is an X for a good reason; I don't care to keep in contact or know about him, regardless of how the relationship ended. It's called moving on.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 3:30:30 AM

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gypsymoth wrote:


This is such a strange question to ask. There is a reason that an X is just that, a former partner.

Why on earth do you think that when a woman leaves a man, it's because she treated him badly, by cheating on him or whatever? Relationships end for a lot of different reasons.

If the relationship was at an end, then knowing he was hugely successful shortly afterwards wouldn't make any difference at all to me. Why should it? It's laughable to insinuate that after a woman leaves a man, his life will improve to the extent tthat he is a millionaire, because she left him. No, it's not laughable, it's insulting.

An X is an X for a good reason; I don't care to keep in contact or know about him, regardless of how the relationship ended. It's called moving on.



Gypsy, I know there's plenty of reasons a relationship could end. I am just curious about this particular scenario: a woman leaves a guy after cheating on him, what would be her reaction when she finds out the guy is better off whitout her.(he's not a millionaire because she left him, he just happened to became a millionaire afterwards, perhaps he won the lotto)

So according to your answer, you'd fit in the category "indiference", perhaps other women could have some sort of feelings/thoughts in this particular situation, that's what I am supposed to find out by asking this question here.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 3:36:08 AM

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Ive never been in this situation, but I did leave a guy I loved very much, I still care for him, I still ask my friends if he is doing well.

I know that he is doing great and it makes me happy to know he is happy.

That's how things should be, I don't enjoy vindictive relationships.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 4:58:56 AM

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Necho wrote:
Ive never been in this situation, but I did leave a guy I loved very much, I still care for him, I still ask my friends if he is doing well.

I know that he is doing great and it makes me happy to know he is happy.

That's how things should be, I don't enjoy vindictive relationships.




Agrees Necho, My very first proper girlfriend, dumped me oh about 20 years ago now lol, my first love so to speak, I loved her so much and still do, she is now married with children and I still go to visit her about every 4-5 years regardless of what her husband thinks, infact she told him that I would never stop visiing her, we catch up with old times and talk about life in general, we dont have anything sexual going on because she now leads her own life and I wouldnt want to complicate anything, I'm not jelous of her husband nor of her family, and I would certainly do anything for her, and she knows it, but she has never once called on me or vice versa.

As long as I know she is happy........then I too am happy knowing she is safe and happy.

As for winning the lottery, this will not make a blind bit of difference, if the woman or man has had enough, money is not going to change that fact you can try and add as many variables as you like it's not going to work.

It's pretty much like saying......I know some people dont like me or "may" not like me on the forums, how do I win them around??? the point being im not going too or never will because they have already decided made thier mind up, adding im now a millionaire will not improve my chances of people wanting to like me.
Lisa
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 5:53:03 AM

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Location: Victoria, Australia
javier wrote:
When you end a relationship with some guy, it affects you to know how life treats this guy in the future?

Imagine you left him, he was just an average joe, but after a few months/years you happen to come across him and you find the guy is a millionaire, succesful family man, after you left him his life went all the way up.

How would you feel? Indiferent? Happy for him? Jelous? Would you rather not know?

Mind you, we are talking about a guy YOU left, you treated him badly, you cheated on him etc.

Would you have the same feelings had he been the one who left you and treated you badly?



I'm sure I'd feel happy for him. If I treated him badly, cheated on him etc and his life improved without me in it, then he's obviously better off without me.

Luckily, I haven't had to worry about that in the past. I don't intend for it to be an issue in the future either! happy8
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 6:18:08 AM

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I have a couple exes yes I still care about, but I have one that I would not mind if he dropped dead (humm is it wrong to feel that way?) He is a real jerk, he treated me like shit, but now that I am happy, he wants me again (well only wants one thing), because he is not getting any from new wife. Don't life suck the big one? 6
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 6:33:02 AM

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It wouldn't really matter to me if he became successful, rich and started leading a charmed life after I was out of the picture.

I broke up with 2 guys that were already leading lives like this and ready to put me in a white dress and become family men while I was with them.

If its the wrong guy (for whatever reason), then its the wrong guy... Lifestyle isn't going to matter.

If I broke up with a guy that I had treated poorly, whose life suddenly took an upswing, then I'd be happy for him. I wouldn't have chosen to cheat or be a bad girlfriend because of his lifestyle anyways. One isn't related to the other (for me anyways).

LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 11:21:39 AM

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javier wrote:
When you end a relationship with some guy, it affects you to know how life treats this guy in the future?

Imagine you left him, he was just an average joe, but after a few months/years you happen to come across him and you find the guy is a millionaire, succesful family man, after you left him his life went all the way up.

How would you feel? Indiferent? Happy for him? Jelous? Would you rather not know?

Mind you, we are talking about a guy YOU left, you treated him badly, you cheated on him etc.

Would you have the same feelings had he been the one who left you and treated you badly?


hmmm.

If I found out he became a millionaire after I screwed up, then I sure as hell would regret cheating on him, thats for sure!

Otherwise I don't care good or bad what happens to him after we are through.

But, if he is the one that fucks me over then goes on to become a millionaire, then the local voodoo priest is getting a call from me! lol stirthepot

verity
Posted: Wednesday, April 07, 2010 1:00:43 AM

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I can only remember one time in the past where the relationship ended really badly. But if he did hit the big time afterwards, then I’m afraid I’d be completely indifferent to his good fortune. No amount of money would make it work. That’s all in the past for me.

But in general, I’ve managed to part amicably and stay friends. I do still care about my exes and like to know how they are doing.



*The Dark Room*

How do you talk to an Angel available from Amazon.

Catnip
Posted: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 4:25:22 PM

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My x went from being a student to a well paid job.
after we were through.
I care about him and am happy that life treats him as it should.
I've never ended a relation and not kept on being friends with them, though I'm not the sort of person to fall for jerks.

MMonroe
Posted: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00:08 PM

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I would still see him as the guy i knew he was, a liar and a cheat.

Sure maybe i'd think about what mightve happened if we had stayed together and what my life would be now but he's an ex for a reason and no amount of money or success can change that



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



myself
Posted: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:07:54 PM

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-seems men look backwards at what they had and women look forward in search of one not looking backwards -funny

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:09:22 PM

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MMonroe wrote:
I would still see him as the guy i knew he was, a liar and a cheat.

Sure maybe i'd think about what mightve happened if we had stayed together and what my life would be now but he's an ex for a reason and no amount of money or success can change that


my ex is very successful (load of $$) .... and I will always think of him as a liar, a cheat and disloyal.

I agree with MM .... he's an ex for a reason ... and he doesn't deserve someone amazing as myself.

Rot, I say, Rot!!

lol

Van
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:23:21 PM

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VanGogh wrote:

Rot, I say, Rot!!

lol

Van


How do you really feel? laughing8

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
thepainter
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 8:21:38 AM

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I got the perfect song for your ex, Van. It's called "(you're) supposed to rot" by a lovely ensemble called Entombed. glasses8

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
LusciousLola
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 11:20:15 AM

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I left my ex and he was a real piece of work. He is most certainly not doing well in life and I feel sad for him. I'd really like to see him become a happy man. I don't want anything to do with him, but I still love him as another human. I truly do not want to see anyone miserable or unhappy. Him striking it big would not change my feelings for him. But I would love getting that huge chunk of back child support!
KrrraaazzzyGuy
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 2:29:41 PM

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Joined: 5/12/2010
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Location: I'd rather be somewhere else...
Javier,

Since this seems to be an autobiographical question, I am wondering - did you just win the lottery? LOL...

Can I get a loan? ;)

~ KG

Lwinking

I'm a wild and Krrraaazzzy Guy!
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010 4:37:27 AM

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KrrraaazzzyGuy wrote:
Javier,

Since this seems to be an autobiographical question, I am wondering - did you just win the lottery? LOL...

Can I get a loan? ;)

~ KG

Lwinking




Nah, I wish.

But you are partly right, there's a part of me who wants to "make it", whatever it means, to make a certain person who played with my little heart conscious of what she lost. I know it sounds lame, that's the wrong motivation, but anyway, the heart has reasons that the mind ignores.
verity
Posted: Sunday, May 23, 2010 2:19:21 AM

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Life can be very complicated and not at all straight forward. I have to say, I wouldn’t change anything that’s happened in my past. Those relationships and the experiences that evolved from them have helped to form the person I am now.…interesting theories. Lwinking


*The Dark Room*

How do you talk to an Angel available from Amazon.

thepainter
Posted: Sunday, May 23, 2010 4:20:35 AM

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Location: hell, Netherlands
verity-smart wrote:
Life can be very complicated and not at all straight forward. I have to say, I wouldn’t change anything that’s happened in my past. Those relationships and the experiences that evolved from them have helped to form the person I am now.…interesting theories. Lwinking


I agree 100%. I always tell people not to be ashamed of whatever happened in their past since it made them the person they are today. Everyone will acknowledge having done some stupid stuff in their past but if you'd never make a mistake then how are you supposed to learn from it?

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 23, 2010 8:57:37 AM

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I did leave my ex; if this happened to him I know in a snap I would feel happy for him. The past is the past to me and I take simple pleasures in my presant life.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 23, 2010 9:29:55 PM

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For me, it depends on how the relationship ends. If it ends on good terms and we are still friends, then yea, I still care about them. But if we break up because he's a cheating asshole, then no. I couldn't really care less if he were to fall off the Earth.

But that's just my opinion.
Nikki
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 24, 2010 1:48:16 AM

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Firstly I'd like to say that yes, I can see myself in the role of the cheating girlfriend. However, I don't really have any exes that aren't still very close friends. I always try to put friendship first in any relationship, so once the romance has crumbled to dust, the foundation that friendship was built on is still strong enough to survive on its own. I always wish everything that's good for my friends, so I'd be happy for him. Besides, money isn't the most important thing in the world to me, love is....
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 24, 2010 1:49:54 AM

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Firstly I'd like to say that yes, I can see myself in the role of the cheating girlfriend. However, I don't really have any exes that aren't still very close friends. I always try to put friendship first in any relationship, so once the romance has crumbled to dust, the foundation that friendship was built on is still strong enough to survive on its own. I always wish everything that's good for my friends, so I'd be happy for him. Besides, money isn't the most important thing in the world to me, love is....
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 24, 2010 1:50:54 AM

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Guest
Posted: Monday, May 24, 2010 1:53:40 AM

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Apologies for the double post.... damn gremlins are hard at work to destroy my phone lately...
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 24, 2010 1:54:11 AM

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Apologies for the double post.... damn gremlins are hard at work to destroy my phone lately...
Sassygirl
Posted: Sunday, May 30, 2010 2:26:02 PM

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If he treated me badly, and i have an ex like that, my feelings toward him wouldn't change. I would think fate isn't fair.

I have one ex that i left...we didn't want the same things out of life. so i moved on... but i still think the world of him. if came into a lot of money, i would be happy for him.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, October 05, 2014 7:26:27 PM

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I care about my exes as much I care about anyone I used to be close to (such as old friends or family members who have drifted away). I have never been in the particular scenario you are asking about as I've never cheated and don't think I've treated them badly. I've been treated badly by exes though, and I wouldn't wish anything ill on them and would be a littlehurt if any one of them were to drop dead tomorrow. The only negative feelings I've had is that their current / future girlfriends see through their shit and leave them before they get to hurt and/or fucked over by them.
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