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SilverArdorDragon
Posted: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 2:18:59 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
What is the sadest joke you have ever heard? We've all heard them, and from time to time been guilty of telling them. Please share yours.

Heres one to start;

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 3:20:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,382
happy8 6
MrNudiePants
Posted: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 5:45:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2,189
Location: United States
A Priest, a Rabbi, A Minister, and an Imam walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? A joke?"
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 6:32:15 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,832
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
A horse walks into a bar...the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"...

OK, you happy now? Look what you started...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

sundancekid
Posted: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 7:53:11 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/9/2010
Posts: 22
A Grey Rabbit goes to a resturant and orders cheese on toast as he usally does,
Waiter....we dont have cheese,
Rabbit....I order the same every week?? why dont you have cheese??
Waiter....I can order something else of the menu sir.
Rabbit.... OK I'll have a Ham and tomato toasted sandwich.....

Following week he returns but this time he is white.
Sits down and orders cheese on toast.
Waiter....Are you the same Rabbit that orders every week??
Rabbit....Yes
Waiter....but your white??
Rabbit....that's what happens when you "mixa-ma toasties".
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 9:45:09 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,382
This Irishman walks out of a bar and......
What? It could happen!
DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 10:19:30 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,832
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
chefkathleen wrote:
This Irishman walks out of a bar and......
What? It could happen!


laughing6

Reminds me of that old joke...
Why can't Irish people become lawyers??
They can't pass the bar...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Remington
Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 10:42:18 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/21/2010
Posts: 1,753
There's a blonde in a row boat on cinder blocks in a middle of a corner field just rowing away. Another blonde driving down the highway sees this and gets out.

"You know, it's blondes like you that give us a bad name!" the blonde on the highway says as she gets out of her car. "If I could swim, I'd swim out there and kick your ass!"

Go check out my new story - How Did This Happen? - John's Story

DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 11:47:01 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,832
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Hey Rem...speaking of blonde jokes...
What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

sundancekid
Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 2:08:16 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/9/2010
Posts: 22
A beautiful redhead goes to the doctor, doctor
my body hurts wherever I touch it, im in pain

what exclaims the doc, Impossible!

I'll show you she says, touches her shoulder OUCH!
Touches her knee OWW!
Touches her waist OUCHHH!

Doc takes a good hard look and says, Your not a red head are you??
She says no im naturally blonde!

I thought so says the doc your fucking finger is broken!!!
BooBooKittyfuck
Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 9:44:52 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 3/30/2010
Posts: 5
Location: United States
Jesus comes upon a group of people about to stone to death a woman accused of adultery.

He stops the crowd and tells them "Whoever among you who is without sin, cast the first stone"

Chagrined, the crowd begins to disperse, when suddenly a woman pushes her way through and throws a stone at the accused, killing her instantly.

Jesus turns to the woman and says, "Mom, you have to stop doing that!"
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 10:13:04 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,382
These are hilarious!
SilverArdorDragon
Posted: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 10:17:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
Exakta66 wrote:
A horse walks into a bar...the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"...

OK, you happy now? Look what you started...


I'm very, very happy. icon_biggrin angel7 L46
SilverArdorDragon
Posted: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 10:36:45 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
BooBooKittyfuck wrote:
Jesus comes upon a group of people about to stone to death a woman accused of adultery.

He stops the crowd and tells them "Whoever among you who is without sin, cast the first stone"

Chagrined, the crowd begins to disperse, when suddenly a woman pushes her way through and throws a stone at the accused, killing her instantly.

Jesus turns to the woman and says, "Mom, you have to stop doing that!"


I heard this one from a rather religous woman the other day. After the shock of who it was that told it I laughed my ass off. Laughed more of my ass off reading it here!
adriana
Posted: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 8:24:07 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/13/2009
Posts: 72
Location: Nice Bum Where Ya From?, Stoney Creek Wanna Peek?
wanna hear a dirty joke?
billy played in the mud.

wanna hear a clean joke?
billy took a bath.

wanna hear an even cleaner joke?
billy took a bath with bubbles.

wanna hear another dirty joke?
bubbles was a man.
niceguy89
Posted: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 11:34:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2009
Posts: -24
Location: Texas, United States
Q: what did the fish say when it ran into the wall? A: dam
Q: what do you call a sleeping bull? A: a bull dozer
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2010 12:00:50 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,382
Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas
unknown77
Posted: Wednesday, September 21, 2011 9:21:48 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/21/2011
Posts: 200
Location: Here, Bulgaria
a kamikaze is coming back from a mission!!!!
Kornpopper
Posted: Wednesday, September 21, 2011 9:10:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/7/2011
Posts: 108
Location: I am here, You are there!
unknown77 wrote:
a kamikaze is coming back from a mission!!!!

evil4
Does that mean the mission was a failure or a success?

As for my contribution-

Two elephants fell off a cliff, boom- boom!

The decisions we make dictate the life we have.
Follow your dreams, for those that do not will only try to discourage others.
saturdaynight
Posted: Thursday, September 22, 2011 12:25:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/11/2010
Posts: 1,045
Location: at your back! BOO!
a lousy one..

Q: what hairstlye explodes?
A: BANGS!

Smile at your enemies.. It makes them crazy...

SirSpanksAlot80
Posted: Thursday, September 22, 2011 2:26:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/21/2010
Posts: 8,417
Location: United States
How do you know that a blonde was using a computer?
There's white-out on the screen.

What's the differences between a blonde and a rooster?
The rooster says Cock-a-doodle-doo and the blonde says any-cock-will-do.
SilverArdorDragon
Posted: Wednesday, September 28, 2011 1:41:56 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
Three vampires walk into a bar. Shortly a waitress walks over to take thier orders.
V1: I'll take a blood.
V2: I'll take a blood.
V3: I'll take a blood light.
SirSpanksAlot80
Posted: Thursday, September 29, 2011 3:00:03 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/21/2010
Posts: 8,417
Location: United States
What's a 6.9?

A 69 intruded by a period :)
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