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Possible to fall in love over the net? Options · View
tubby1961
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2010 3:53:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2010
Posts: 2,940
Location: Down Under, Australia
Okay ladies this may be a lame topic but I'd like your opinion anyway. Recently on a penpal site a married woman from another country confessed that she was madly in love with me. I thought she was only joking as we'd only been chatting for a couple of months but she says she was serious. Now I personally think it is impossible for one thing we have never met and really got to know each other and secondly I was not after a romantic relationship specially with someone that is already married. What is your opinion on the matter, is it possible to fall in love with someone on the other side of the planet that you have never met and really never got to know properly?

Thank you for your time and thoughts on the matter.


"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen

"I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Goldwyn
Guest
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2010 4:20:59 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
I do believe it is possible to fall in love/lust over the net. CAUTION can lead to extreme heartache. It is worth it having said all that.
tubby1961
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2010 4:33:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2010
Posts: 2,940
Location: Down Under, Australia
Thanks Honeybee. My experience so far has been more of a headache than heartache.


"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen

"I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Goldwyn
Guest
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2010 5:12:10 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
hon i do believe its possible, but be careful.

I had a 7yr relationship that only recently broke up, we started online. Her in aussie me in the UK. I moved here and we had 7yrs together.

Now i am madly in love with another lady online.......i know it can happen, i know it can work but i also know that heartache can follow too.
SweetPenny
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2010 7:14:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,274
Location: State of Confusion
HoneyBee000 wrote:
I do believe it is possible to fall in love/lust over the net. CAUTION can lead to extreme heartache. It is worth it having said all that.


Isn't falling in LOVE different than falling in LUST?

You can lust for someone whom you have an online sexual encounter with, but I highly doubt you can love someone you've never met.
Guest
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2010 7:19:05 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
SweetPenny wrote:
HoneyBee000 wrote:
I do believe it is possible to fall in love/lust over the net. CAUTION can lead to extreme heartache. It is worth it having said all that.


Isn't falling in LOVE different than falling in LUST?

You can lust for someone whom you have an online sexual encounter with, but I highly doubt you can love someone you've never met.


I was just quoting both; I did fall in love with a man online we have met several times in person I wouldn't be without him, but the distance between us is heartbreaking.
tubby1961
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2010 8:05:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2010
Posts: 2,940
Location: Down Under, Australia
Thank you all for your contribution.


"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen

"I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Goldwyn
lighthouses67
Posted: Tuesday, August 10, 2010 7:49:56 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 6/9/2010
Posts: 13
Location: Columbus, United States
I think it is possible to fall in love, but unless there is an extreme amount of trust and honesty, it ill lead to heartache. Good luck and hope this helps
x3holly
Posted: Sunday, August 15, 2010 1:26:42 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/9/2010
Posts: 15
Location: United States
I think it's highly possible.
Me and my current fiancee started online. Met through his sister, who was a long distance best friend.
Granted,
Online it's never a full love. There's always things missing in the relationship. You don't know the little things, and that can lead to an intense break down later. It's risky, but it's very possible.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 15, 2010 2:39:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
me and my other half meet online 6 years ago over the internet and now we see eachother as often as possible (1 - 2 months apart at the most) and we're planning a very happy future together :D
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 15, 2010 3:00:01 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716

you will find additional comments found in the Pub under this link:


http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst12041_Do-you-think.aspx
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 15, 2010 10:34:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
i met my wife 8 years ago on the net, by total chance, we were 200 miles apart, but i drove 'home' every weekend without fail for 5 years we got married11 months ago and our relationship couldnt be stronger
Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 19, 2010 1:21:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
I'm sure one can fall in love on the net ...and I would imagine (on a site like LS) ...it starts with lust. And as you share more with one another, divulging things one would normally only with close friends or partners, maybe getting into a little on-line teasing (perhaps because of the initial anonymity) ...it could lead to an infatuation ..and if taken further; love ...BUT ...as Sweetpenny rightfully suggested; it could lead to severe heartache, so be careful what you wish for.
savanna
Posted: Thursday, August 19, 2010 2:09:42 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2010
Posts: 2,337
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
'' You'' Boo hoo! mean, finding your true love inside the virtual world of my computer? Me? No way! Never! That was reserved for the computer geeks of the world or those who can't manage to pick up a date on their own for one reason or another. That was what I thought until I found myself looking forward to talking to a man who was funny amusing kind HONEST Oh yea Honest he was he just forgot to tell me he was a married man I went as far as New York to meet him. Two years of wasted time talking to him. he just forgot to mention that there is a ring on his finger and two kids. Well How long can One wait at the airport for a return flight? 36hours of tormenting oneself of stupidity. So damn that online love. Then Lush came three years after stupidity. Oh stupidity did not leave me yet. giggles.

''Someone'' very dear to me on Lush told me a year ago. Leave you heart at the door of Lush when you close the Lush door pick it up and replace it again because you are just to vulnerably for Lush. Damn I did not do that. I think my weak stupidity heart is again on her own tricks. To mylove9 heart Hey Heart you on your own this time. I'm not picking up the peaces. love9
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:57:05 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,862
Location: Cakeland, United States
Odd little story.

I 'met' a woman online at the now defunct website: http://www.alt.matchmaker.com (this url now sends you to some outfit in Australia) - an alternative lifestyles site primarily for those involved in the swinging lifestyle, in April of 1999.

There we could chat, trade email, arrange to meet, etc... It was a nice (computer interface) running in the background, I'd see a little light change from red to green in the lower right area of my Windows98 desktop whenever Jen came online to the site and she'd see the same thing on her end of the internet.

She told me from the start that she was engaged to be married to a man 20 years her senior. This would be her 2nd marriage and she would be turning 29 on the 31st of May, to be married the first Saturday of June that year.

We definitely lusted for one another. She wanted one last fling before marriage - but alas, she could not bring herself to be unfaithful to her fiancee. This only enamored me more, toward her.

She had sent me one grainy photo of herself, taken from a distance of her at a 1998 football game in Washington DC. She looked like WMM's kind of woman, from what I could barely make out. We'd traded cell phone numbers almost from the beginning and I was accustomed to looking at my phone and seeing her phone number sitting on the face of it, as it vibrated attached to the belt around my waist.

Surreptitious conversations, during stolen moments of her day.

The wedding day came and went...she called me very early that morning, expressing the entire range of emotions a bride would experience just hours before her wedding.

I did not hear from her for the rest of that summer. I did not call her, I did not email her. I did not intrude. Jen knew how to contact me, if she desired.

Just after the Labor Day weekend I opened my yahoo email and there was a subject line heading: "I just couldn't do it, jeff...I'm getting an annulment."

As fate would have it, I was to be in the Reston, Virginia area for two weeks of corporate training, in ten days time. She and I met face to face for the first time, the Saturday afternoon I arrived at Dulles.

Whoa. I was literally stunned. Everything she had divulged to me about what she looked like (she was very hesitant to send any photos of herself, a very private person online - she said she'd learned to become) was true.

Lust and love erupted that weekend and for almost every night I was there for the next two weeks. She worked in Herndon (right next to Reston) and lived 25 miles south of the DC metro area.

We saw one another every month for the next 9 months...and finally, after we got to know one another much better...there were just too many other areas of life where we did not get along rosily or see eye-to-eye.

We split apart amicably and tried to stay in touch, but as with many other women in my past...she and I drifted back to our lives.

She and I talked a few weeks ago via phone. It is still good to hear her giggle and laugh.

She told me at the end..."Jeff, you'll never meet your soulmate online...this is as close as you or I will ever come."

I think she may well have been right.

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
savanna
Posted: Thursday, August 19, 2010 10:43:16 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2010
Posts: 2,337
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
Damn WellMadeMale you made me sad now? Will that happen again to me? I give up. Let me just shop till I drop. Here is to my shoe fetish
redhotmommacita
Posted: Thursday, August 19, 2010 10:54:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/9/2009
Posts: 1,123
Location: In my own little world., United States
I know it can happen but it is best when the two people can eventualy meet and then start a real relationship. it can work but to have a total LDR over the net is very hard and hurtful the heart does fall for the beautiful words but the reality is LDR eventually fail



Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"


rougerogue
Posted: Thursday, August 19, 2010 5:12:38 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 114
Its absolutely possible to fall in love over the net, online everybody can be the perfect person. You have time to take consideration over every word you type. Theres no moments of reflecting later and thinking "I wish i had said that" when you have time to consider your reply and access to the delete key, every sentence can hold great wisdom, comedic effect and romantic overtones.
Almost six years ago i met someone quite by accident online, it was in a music chatroom and something just clicked between us, we shared the same music tastes, she laughed at all my little jokes (and she was gorgeous!!!). I was in a relationship at the time and really wasnt looking to find anyone, online or elsewhere. It got to the stage where when she came online and i heard her buddy sound my heart would skip a little and I'd get butterflies in my stomach. Feelings like that made me realise that the relationship i was in wasnt working for me anymore, and in fact should probably have ended a few years earlier. I ended my relationship and told my online beau. The online relationship kicked up a gear at that point and we decided after much deliberation to meet.
Meeting in real life is the test, suddenly all our little idiosyncracies are on show, we dont have time to reflect over what we say before we speak and the real you, rather than the you you wish you are is as naked as the day.
Having said that....it turned out we quite liked each other quirks, sure it wasnt easy and there was a lot of refinding the person we each had fallen in love with.
Two months ago we got married and we both couldnt be happier. I think we were very lucky to find each other.

In the case of the original poster yes you can fall in love online, so remember that when youre harmlessly flirting with someone, for the other person you may be showing them what theyre missing in their own relationship, she may not love you... but i can bet you she loves the idea of you and that is enough to leave everything she held true behind.
HornyNymph
Posted: Wednesday, August 25, 2010 8:47:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/21/2010
Posts: 153
Location: Derby
I think lust is more likely... but love could be possible

"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing." - Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) in Pretty Women
HornyNymph
Posted: Wednesday, August 25, 2010 8:52:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/21/2010
Posts: 153
Location: Derby
WellMadeMale wrote:
Odd little story.

I 'met' a woman online at the now defunct website: http://www.alt.matchmaker.com (this url now sends you to some outfit in Australia) - an alternative lifestyles site primarily for those involved in the swinging lifestyle, in April of 1999.

There we could chat, trade email, arrange to meet, etc... It was a nice (computer interface) running in the background, I'd see a little light change from red to green in the lower right area of my Windows98 desktop whenever Jen came online to the site and she'd see the same thing on her end of the internet.

She told me from the start that she was engaged to be married to a man 20 years her senior. This would be her 2nd marriage and she would be turning 29 on the 31st of May, to be married the first Saturday of June that year.

We definitely lusted for one another. She wanted one last fling before marriage - but alas, she could not bring herself to be unfaithful to her fiancee. This only enamored me more, toward her.

She had sent me one grainy photo of herself, taken from a distance of her at a 1998 football game in Washington DC. She looked like WMM's kind of woman, from what I could barely make out. We'd traded cell phone numbers almost from the beginning and I was accustomed to looking at my phone and seeing her phone number sitting on the face of it, as it vibrated attached to the belt around my waist.

Surreptitious conversations, during stolen moments of her day.

The wedding day came and went...she called me very early that morning, expressing the entire range of emotions a bride would experience just hours before her wedding.

I did not hear from her for the rest of that summer. I did not call her, I did not email her. I did not intrude. Jen knew how to contact me, if she desired.

Just after the Labor Day weekend I opened my yahoo email and there was a subject line heading: "I just couldn't do it, jeff...I'm getting an annulment."

As fate would have it, I was to be in the Reston, Virginia area for two weeks of corporate training, in ten days time. She and I met face to face for the first time, the Saturday afternoon I arrived at Dulles.

Whoa. I was literally stunned. Everything she had divulged to me about what she looked like (she was very hesitant to send any photos of herself, a very private person online - she said she'd learned to become) was true.

Lust and love erupted that weekend and for almost every night I was there for the next two weeks. She worked in Herndon (right next to Reston) and lived 25 miles south of the DC metro area.

We saw one another every month for the next 9 months...and finally, after we got to know one another much better...there were just too many other areas of life where we did not get along rosily or see eye-to-eye.

We split apart amicably and tried to stay in touch, but as with many other women in my past...she and I drifted back to our lives.

She and I talked a few weeks ago via phone. It is still good to hear her giggle and laugh.

She told me at the end..."Jeff, you'll never meet your soulmate online...this is as close as you or I will ever come."

I think she may well have been right.



That was heartbreaking to read.... I so badly wanted an happy ending! I'm sorry you didn't get one!

"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing." - Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) in Pretty Women
icecreamcandy
Posted: Thursday, October 21, 2010 5:19:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/11/2010
Posts: 108
Location: United States
I was one of these people who would never get into the whole online friendship thing. I convinced myself that I would never actually meet anyone I had met from the online world.
This changed a few months ago when I decided to fly to the USA and meet a friend who I had been speaking to for over 8 months. We have been close friends, speaking everyday and the relationship had gradually developed from general chit chat, to friendship to something more. I was worried about meeting them, worried that despite all we had in common and how comfortable we were with one another on cam and on the phone we would not get on, and it would all be a terrible disaster.

I found this to be the opposite, I had an amazing time and I didn’t want to come home. I loved every minute I spent with them and we got on very well. We spent hours chatting about anything and everything and I am planning another trip over there next year, possibly to stay.

So I do think its possible to have feelings for someone you meet online, but I agree you have to be careful. I think things have a better chance of working if you start off as friends and things are not driven by lust…. I personally held all my cards close to my chest and only opened up gradually. I didn’t give out my phone number, address, real email and things like that right away…..

So that’s my little story, just be careful... and if you have the chance check out peoples information to make sure they are the real deal.
There are a lot of people pretending to be something there not out there
flower



Ice cream + Candy = Yummy
Woman
Posted: Thursday, October 21, 2010 5:28:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/21/2009
Posts: 675
Location: Stopping the war 'tween Harold and Kumar
Lord help me. But yes. I do beleive it is possible.

The man I ah... ahh... for online, said it best, "Online is a meeting of the minds, where if you are honest, a true meetings of the mind occurs. This does not always happen in the real world, with your spouse, partner, even friends."

I agree with him on this point. You are forced to actually talk to the person, without the aid of body language at first. And for every type of relationship... communication is key.

Love is love. There are different kinds. To some they fall easily in and out of it. To others, it takes lots of TNT to break down those defenses and walls we have around us as safe guards. But it all boils down to the same thing. I am a better person for knowing him. He has helped me to be a better person. He has helped me to grow as a person. And I hope I have done the same for him in some way shape or form.

My best friends I have met online, and we actually got together for a few days on fun and frolics when I returned to Canada in the summer. I love them as I do my sisters. And for my upcoming trip to Canada this summer, we are planning to meet up for a longer period of time.

The biggest question we all had when we met, was do we act the same online as I do offline? And the answers for us all were hell yes. The only difference now, was that we could all see each other at the same time and at the same place. And our friendship has grown since meeting. It just boils down to being honest with yourself and the people you are talking to. I've been pretty lucky and yes, I am knocking on a whole lot of wood to keep my luck of meting some of the most hilarious and great people online.

Bottom line words of advice? Be you. Don't just always put your best foot forward no matter what kind of shoe they might be in. You have your good days and your bad days. Be you. Be careful and be honest with the people you chat with.

Living life and enjoying life are two different things... just need to figure out how to do both at the same time to live it right!

Woman... GO FLY A KITE!!!!! Take a slideshow walk with me on a walk through the parks of Inner Mongolia, China. Then enjoy the tale of a very traditional day in the life of a white Woman in China.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:58:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
I met my wife online, at the time i was in Cali. and she was in N. Carolina. We talked on and off, sometimes daily. Then we started on the phone, did that for a while over a year. I finally went to visit her, couple months later she visited me and stayed. We are now married and have a little girl who will be three this month.
TheLadyOfShalott
Posted: Friday, October 29, 2010 8:54:18 AM

Rank: Her Ladyship Verifier

Joined: 1/4/2010
Posts: 362
Location: Wonderland
With the way the internet has changed our lives I do believe it is possible. However, that being said, there are a lot of weird people out there.

Sometimes you get feelings for people that you know won't work out... So yes, it is a lot of heartache.


~ "She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott. "
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 29, 2010 6:41:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
I very much believe its possible. I am head-over-heels in Love with Bikebum1975. Anything is possible, love makes it come true. :)
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 29, 2010 7:00:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
definitely a yes but don't expect for it to be easy, just like any relationship; its gonna be hard.
obscura
Posted: Friday, October 29, 2010 7:20:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/10/2010
Posts: 143
Location: Zef Side
Call me old fashioned - I don't think so. But if that person happens to be your true love in reality, then I would suggest you buy a Lottery ticket aswell.

You can fall in love intellectually, emotionally and psychologically but not physically in the true sense of the word. Sure they might have nice boobs or nice abs. But if I was wrong, and if that was true, I could definitely say I have fallen in love with many porn stars, and maybe one or two of you on LS ;)

You might love the image the person conveys, their presence online, the way they write, how they are with others... But this is only a persona, it is much easier to maintain deceive over the internet. Unfortunately, a lot of people online are online, behind a persona, for a reason...



Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 4, 2010 8:51:30 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
Yes!
Guest
Posted: Friday, November 5, 2010 1:38:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,716
to me meeting someone on Lush or any other site people go on that they have an interest in is better as you both have something in common. In the real world you could trol through several people and still not have the things in common that you would like. Also several people meet from dating web-sites on-line and have to go through a period of getting to know one another. Another thing also is that even if you do meet some one in the real world you have no guarentee that they arn't married and have kids etc .
I'm afraid love in the real world and online world is that it's all a game of chances and expectations.
james5
Posted: Friday, November 5, 2010 9:24:18 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 11/2/2010
Posts: 4
Location: Stoke - On - Trent, United Kingdom
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