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lickman
Posted: Tuesday, July 27, 2010 1:24:04 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 3/11/2010
Posts: 1
Location: Gauteng
My wife came clean and told me that she was fucking a coworker , but this was after she came home and said that we where invited to another coworker for a wife swop . We whent she did him , his wife was out . then two weeks later she told me about the other coworker .
A bit about her , in the past she wanted nothing to do with sex or porn , now she wants to fuck any one , any thing.

How should I handle this ?
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 27, 2010 2:25:15 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,225
What do you expect, after you agree to swinging?
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 29, 2010 6:56:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,225

well, this a can of worms, in my humble opinion.

When I started to read the post - it seemed like your wife confessed her sins, to be granted forgiveness, and continue on her way; therefore removing her guilt onto you.

then - I read Rocco's comment, which also seems in line that you as a couple will participate in swinging - but was the guideline explained that swinging was to be as a "couple" or not?

You may want to revisit what you want out of your relationship and find out what your wife wants. Then ask ... are you both on the same page or not?

Good luck!

Van



Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 03, 2010 12:29:02 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,225
Are we back to the old thing about Sex and Love, now in this time each couple must decide where they stand on the subject.

Apparently you have stepped over the line to attend a swap party, but now you seem to find yourself in a place where you are not comfortable. And you know your wife has been with others and it seems likely to continuing to have sex with others.

What do you guys want to be one on one or to share the joys of others? Could you go back to where you were at one time and forgive and not use it as a weapon during every disagreement.

Could you live the Open Lifestyle? Many could not. We do and have always shared others.

I Could not think of any other way to live.

You have a difficult road where every you decide to travel!
m4sum
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 12:19:06 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/25/2009
Posts: 3
Location: York
You could always say

I guess we all make mistakes sometimes But you were my biggest.
Guest
Posted: Friday, August 27, 2010 2:39:05 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,225
It seems to me that your wife feels that you have consented to an open relationship. Which I think is an understandable assumption given the situation. My advice is if it bothers you then its time for a sit down and try to establish some boundrys. When you approach the situation it should not be with anger, she is being open with you about it, which is her way of trying to involve you. Good luck to the both of you and I hope you find some middle ground.
smiler77
Posted: Friday, August 27, 2010 12:04:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 173
Location: United Kingdom
Oooooo tough one!

My ex nailed the lid on our relationship when he said it would be okay for me to go and find fun elsewhere..
I personally could never be with someone that thinks it's okay to share me but that's just my opinion..

Swinging always comes with a warning sign.. and it should read "Is your relationship "Strong" or weak" enough for this?

I'm waffling now.. Good luck..

A Professional Writer is an amateur who didn't quit"
LusciousLushie
Posted: Sunday, October 07, 2012 11:40:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/26/2012
Posts: 88
Location: 80 feet above ground level in NYC, United States
blazestcyr
Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 11:17:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
well are u ok with an open sexual marriage?

what are YOUR limits...i mean just with you only or can she do what she wants

me..if she sleeps with anything..all of the sudden

i would be worried about diseases and perhaps depression

lack of control in choosing partners..could lead to very difficult situations

i mean...even 100 percent bc fails...are u prepared to raise another's baby? if she can have them

but if YOU are ok with it..who are..WE..to say yes or no

it is UP to you and your wife

but i agree with veronika...always tell the truth....

so if she lied to u...she WILL lie..about other things...
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 5:55:46 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,225
i need.advice

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for six months and we love each other he is my first love and the man i been with sexually but he moved back home to north Carolina


my question is how do we keep the relationship strong even the sexual part strong even though we are in different states?


I leave in miami fl by the.way
doctorlove
Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 7:48:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 771
Location: United States
When you got to the house and noticed his wife was gone, what did you do or say?
Did you watch your wife fuck him or sit outside in the car?
doctorlove
Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 7:57:12 PM

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Posts: 771
Location: United States
You should go back to his house and tell his wife she owes you a fuck.
anonymouslylush
Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 8:43:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/19/2012
Posts: 738
Location: Jersey, United States
A friend of mine, who is a swinger, and I, not a swinger, had a talk about swinging and open relationships. He told me the only way for it to with is both individuals have to be completely open and honest with each other. You have to clearly define your rules. From what I read, you need to talk to your wife. It seems as tho you have different expectations from your open relationship. Communication is key.

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner

sprite
Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 8:49:24 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,677
Location: My Tower, United States
doctorlove wrote:
You should go back to his house and tell his wife she owes you a fuck.


the wife doesn't owe him anything. what is she, some possession to be used in some sort of vengence fuck? why the hell would you even stick her in the middle of this? you want to go to his house and call him out, fine, but don't be treating his wife (who probably doesn't even know of the affair) like some cheap ass cum receptacle. fuck is wrong with you.

Live, love, laugh.
overmykneenow
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 2:16:29 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,246
Location: United Kingdom
sprite wrote:


the wife doesn't owe him anything. what is she, some possession to be used in some sort of vengence fuck? why the hell would you even stick her in the middle of this? you want to go to his house and call him out, fine, but don't be treating his wife (who probably doesn't even know of the affair) like some cheap ass cum receptacle. fuck is wrong with you.


Moral disengagement? aggressive sexual narcissism? psychopathy? take your pick really. All in all, someone best avoided.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

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doctorlove
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 8:41:00 PM

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Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 771
Location: United States
sprite wrote:


the wife doesn't owe him anything. what is she, some possession to be used in some sort of vengence fuck? why the hell would you even stick her in the middle of this? you want to go to his house and call him out, fine, but don't be treating his wife (who probably doesn't even know of the affair) like some cheap ass cum receptacle. fuck is wrong with you.


"Who probably doesn't even know of the affair" is my point. He can explain what happened and flip the switch. This would answer a lot of questions.
She could ask herself how many other times its happened.
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 9:32:43 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,677
Location: My Tower, United States
doctorlove wrote:


"Who probably doesn't even know of the affair" is my point. He can explain what happened and flip the switch. This would answer a lot of questions.
She could ask herself how many other times its happened.


trust me, if you tell, she won't thank you for it, and if you go there with the intent to FUCK her, then you're a total prick. unless she's a close friend, and you're sincerely looking out for her welfare, stay out of it

Live, love, laugh.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:29:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,225
I'd flat out tell her all bets are off. No more swinging. It causes to big of a rift in your relationship. If she wants to continue and you do not, you need to ask yourself how important is this woman to you. She may now hold you in a lesser degree of value since you opened things up. I lay the cards on the table....If she isn't willing to stop then you know where you stand...Now you will have a very difficult time trusting after all of this blows over. Should have set guidelines before you all included others in your sex life. Just sayin'


Irish
doctorlove
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 7:26:38 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 771
Location: United States
sprite wrote:


trust me, if you tell, she won't thank you for it, and if you go there with the intent to FUCK her, then you're a total prick. unless she's a close friend, and you're sincerely looking out for her welfare, stay out of it



Im not looking to be thanked.


It really sounds like they knew she would be gone.

She needs to know, not that she wants to hear anything like this, but she deserves to know the truth.
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