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Pick-Up lines ----- really bad ones that are quite funny Options · View
Guest
Posted: Thursday, December 17, 2009 1:37:19 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
1. Hi, I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I’d certainly like to make your bed rock.

2. Would you believe me if I told you I’m an angel and God sent me down here on a special
mission just to give you a kiss?

3. Let’s do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

4. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put you between f and ck.

5. You look yummy. You must bring new meaning to the word “edible”.

6. Nice shoes, do you want to fuck?

7. I’ve heard that sex is a killer. Do you want to die happy?

8. I would like you to attend my party; and then we can also invite your pants to come down

9. Hi, my name’s (your name). Remember it, you’ll be screaming it later tonight!

10. Hey baby are you wearing your space underwear tonight? Because your ass is out of this
world!

12. Hey sexy. How would you like to join me in doing some math? Let’s add you and me, subtract
our clothes, divide your legs, and then multiply.

13. Hi, you outfit looks really cute. But it would look even cuter wrinkled up on my bedroom
floor.

14. Hi, let me interrupt you for a moment. The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my
place and spread the word.

15. Hi, do you have you got a little Irish/German/Spanish/Italian/etc. in you? Do you want
some?

16. Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy.
17. I’m an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need.

18. Gorgeous hair. But it’d be even better brushing against my thighs.

19. Wanna play carnival? That’s where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.

20. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

21. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

22. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

23. I looked up the word “beautiful” in the thesaurus today, and your name was included.

24. Excuse me, can you give me directions to your heart?

25. Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

26. Excuse me, do you have a quarter I can borrow? I told my mother that I would call her
when I fell in love with the girl of my dreams!

27. This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

28. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

30. Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand
prize is a night with me!

31. Are you religious? Because I’m the answer to your prayers.

32. Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.

33. Is your dad a baker? Because you sure have got great buns.

34. Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on earth!

35. Did heaven lose a couple of angels? ’Cause I can see them bouncing around in your shirt!


sassycheergirl
Posted: Thursday, December 17, 2009 1:42:17 AM

Rank: Lollipop Girl

Joined: 11/7/2009
Posts: 1,508
Location: a corn field , United States
omg lmao some of those i have heared before too


*smiles, hugs, and lollipops*



Sassy
Guest
Posted: Thursday, December 17, 2009 7:26:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
35. Did heaven lose a couple of angels? ’Cause I can see them bouncing around in your shirt!


That's the best one I've heard in a long time.
Algol
Posted: Thursday, December 17, 2009 7:57:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/30/2008
Posts: 4,633
Location: In search of a warm place, United States
36. Nice legs, what time do they open?

Algol

Lydia_
Posted: Thursday, December 17, 2009 8:30:59 AM

Rank: Forum Whore

Joined: 7/9/2009
Posts: 2,523
Location: Cuffed to the forums, having things my way, United
Let's spread the word...lmao nice.

Wishing you well,
Lydia


[size=4][color=red]Please check out:
A lesbian seduction and recommended read: Sugar and Spice, Fire and Ice
You give Such Sweet Punishment
My love poem: Gone From Me
An office part takes an interesting turn in Drunk Off Lust
castlequeen
Posted: Thursday, December 17, 2009 1:28:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 593
"Do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize?"
"Maybe you don't remember, but didn't we used to be married?"
That one got me laughing so hard that I wound up going out with him for almost a year.

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
LadyX
Posted: Monday, October 11, 2010 3:05:39 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,813
37. "Do you have the number for a vet? Because these pythons are sick!" (while flexing both arms body-builder style)
Concretus
Posted: Monday, October 11, 2010 4:03:26 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/20/2010
Posts: 42
38. Your ass is so hot I dont believe shit comes out of there..........
gimmesumpussy
Posted: Tuesday, October 12, 2010 9:02:50 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 9/6/2010
Posts: 35
Location: Texas, United States
so. are youu legal?

(licks finger and runs it across shirt) lets get you out of those wet clothes

Is there a mirror in your pants? Cuz i see myself in them.

Your clothes would look great crumpled on my floor

the human body is 90% water and i dying of thirst
sazraz
Posted: Friday, October 15, 2010 2:59:36 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/6/2009
Posts: 171
Location: United Kingdom
heheh chemistry chat up line- if i were DNA helicase i'd unzip your genes
collegeboy
Posted: Friday, October 15, 2010 8:10:16 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/31/2009
Posts: 15
Location: United States
I love every bone in your body--especially mine
2706ali
Posted: Friday, October 15, 2010 8:14:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/5/2010
Posts: 287
Location: London, United Kingdom
"i think i love you,but id like to try your body first "
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 15, 2010 8:31:11 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 15, 2010 8:34:40 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.
veryJUICY
Posted: Friday, October 15, 2010 11:50:05 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/5/2010
Posts: 69
Location: Mars
sazraz wrote:
heheh chemistry chat up line- if i were DNA helicase i'd unzip your genes
Haha Nice!
Kinkynightmares
Posted: Saturday, October 16, 2010 12:48:20 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/10/2010
Posts: 23
Location: mid west
Walk up to a girl and say "Tickle your ass with a feather" real fast..when she looks at you funny repeat but say "Particularly nice weather?"

An open mind is the greatest thing on earth, it allows creativity, acceptance, and new ideas. It can encourage those locked in their own minds to break free and experience everything life has to offer. Open your mind to anything and everything, you never know what pleasures you may be missing!
Kinkynightmares
Posted: Saturday, October 16, 2010 12:49:48 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/10/2010
Posts: 23
Location: mid west
boy: Wanna get a pizza and fuck
Girl: NO!
Boy: What do you have against Pizza?!

An open mind is the greatest thing on earth, it allows creativity, acceptance, and new ideas. It can encourage those locked in their own minds to break free and experience everything life has to offer. Open your mind to anything and everything, you never know what pleasures you may be missing!
Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 16, 2010 8:12:59 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
Guy as babe, do you to ride ?

Babe, ride what?

Guy, My horse

Babe, Yes

Guy pulls down his zipper and shows her "horse"

Babe: Mouth opens and waters
Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 16, 2010 8:53:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
ha ha ha "I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?" omg ha ha that would make me laugh, then he could buy me a drinkL35
Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 16, 2010 8:54:37 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
Algol wrote:
36. Nice legs, what time do they open?


ha ha That is funny, but it wouldn't get me between your thighs Agol evil4
WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, December 21, 2013 5:24:48 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,463
Location: Cakeland, United States


If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Wilful
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 2:28:36 AM

Rank: Devil's Advocate
Moderator

Joined: 6/15/2013
Posts: 1,265
Location: Digging a hole on the beach, Australia
Excuse me, Miss. My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

Wow! You don't sweat much for a fat chick.

You are what you eat. And later tonight, I plan on being you.

Please check out my latest story, Kibeho
Muffledmoans
Posted: Tuesday, March 11, 2014 6:35:17 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/28/2012
Posts: 47
Guest wrote:
Guy as babe, do you to ride ?

Babe, ride what?

Guy, My horse

Babe, Yes

Guy pulls down his zipper and shows her "horse"

Babe: Mouth opens and waters


This post is so obscure and abstruse that I laughed harder the second time I finished it than the first. :). <-- this is the one, E.

Happiness is not an outcome or an entitlement. It is not tangible and it is not purchasable. It is a conscious decision, it is a state-of-mind, it is a choice you make at every crossroad.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:16:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:17:00 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:31:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
I've actually been told this one before by some random person, "I'm going to shove my dick so far up your ass that anyone who is able to get it out is going to be crowned King Arther." I laughed so much!
Casualguy1st
Posted: Sunday, April 13, 2014 6:48:59 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/1/2014
Posts: 52
Location: Canada
Lick the tip of your finger then touch the sleeve of her blouse and say:
"We should get you out of those wet things before you catch cold."
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 14, 2014 1:58:40 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,586
After handing her a napkin "does this smell like chloroform to you?" laughing8
justalilfun
Posted: Monday, April 14, 2014 3:32:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2012
Posts: 110
Location: Somewhere near Kingaroy, Australia
Not one of mine, and I know blonde women are not stupid but...
To a blonde woman.

"Have you tripped over a log lately?"
"No"
"How about a root?"
Fabulous_n_Delicious
Posted: Friday, April 25, 2014 10:41:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/3/2014
Posts: 1,219
Location: Fabulous , United States
i seen u write i read u story now can i read u?

-Stories
*Cabin by the Lake 1&2
*Restaurant Fun
*Night of Fun with my Master
*The Speakeasy
-Poems
*Wasn't Meant to Be
*I Was Yours
*Forever Love
.
Stay Naughty, Fabulous
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