Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Unexpected endings - writing challenge (ongoing) Options · View
Guest
Posted: Friday, November 19, 2010 1:07:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
... that the Swiss have the worlds largest standing army and military expenses per capita in the world, in spite of not having been faced with armed aggression since before chocolate became an obligatory health care supplement. Oh and this also caused them to create the internet as a convenient way, accesible to all persons, to...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Friday, November 19, 2010 4:34:51 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...raise money to fund their clandestine program to develop an army of killer cyborgs. They could only hope that the secret of self-rejuvenation, carried in a hidden location by each cyborg, would not be discovered by a particularly perspicacious cellist, because then they would have to...

Maggie Rascal
nicola
Posted: Friday, November 19, 2010 4:41:59 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,109
Location: By a fireplace.
...eat cake on a Wednesday, and that would be totally unacceptable. Preferring the flute herself, Michelle decided to...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Friday, November 19, 2010 5:06:27 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...show off her tight embouchure and acclaimed fingering technique. She lovingly stroked the long rod before placing it to her lips and...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Sunday, November 21, 2010 1:15:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
Wondering why the hell her inner voice had used the term 'embouchure'? She put down the rod gently before she did any damage to it. With a sigh of relief she noticed that her neighbour was approaching her house with the subtle stealth tactics of a herd of stampeding elephants. She watched in amazement as he performed....
DirtyMartini
Posted: Sunday, November 21, 2010 1:21:50 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,833
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...as he performed an old Irish Jig he had been practicing for weeks. He then handed her a dictionary and when she looked up that word it confirmed one of her worst fears...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Guest
Posted: Monday, November 22, 2010 2:29:03 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
... as it clearly described the condition of the drain pipe, which was clogged by an accumulation of wet, sodden leaves. "Damn!" she thought, "Who would have suspected those beautiful trees in the park of such nefarious intentions?" Shrugging her shoulders, she picked up the phone to call for ...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Monday, November 22, 2010 9:38:06 AM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...a new set of clothes, because shimmying up the drain pipe to clear the clog would ruin the "sexy nurse" costume she'd been wearing since entertaining at the Swiss army office party. Midway through dialing, however, she began daydreaming of another pipe she'd rather shimmy up, so she quickly...

Maggie Rascal
mercianknight
Posted: Monday, November 22, 2010 1:28:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
...broke into a rendition of "Chim-Chiminee, Chim-Chiminee, Chim Chim Charoo......" whilst perusing her collection of Dick van Dyke albums. Just the thought of getting all dirty again made her finally decide that....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Friday, November 26, 2010 1:21:13 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
it was time to don the nurse's outfit again and rejoin the Swiss Army office party. It wasn't that she was particularly fond of the beer-swilling hooligans that were in attendance, but the mere thought of .........
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Saturday, November 27, 2010 8:16:29 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...the famous, trademarked multi-use tool they were giving out as a party favor was sufficient to entice her back. She would have to remember to request the Swiss Army bladeless apparatus, because knives were not allowed either on the airplane or at her next destination, ...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Saturday, November 27, 2010 10:21:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
...but, something deep, deep inside her made her want to jump into water, far below, and manage
her whole life as a dream because no one ever believed anything, and being so lonely never hurt her.

But, why fake happiness anymore, when any homeless dog would lick your face and make monkeys out
of humanity, for love alone, or maybe just food: but probably only people would never understand...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, November 28, 2010 12:42:29 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,427
Location: Cakeland, United States
that if frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their ass, and someday she would win the lottery, when monkeys flew out of her own. The realization slowly dawned upon her that someone had spiked her drink, for her thinking was awfully scrambled and she desperately needed...

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, November 28, 2010 6:43:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
...some thoughts from her past, to appear, and size up her memories, until she could be rescued from random fate.

-- "I haven't imagined you, in so long, baby," whispered her libido; your imagination has grown into a pristine exhaust, and I wonder whether...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Monday, November 29, 2010 6:14:19 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...I will ever return to coherent thought. "Oh my God...it's all been a figment of my warped mind," she thought, "everything — Tarzan, the gorilla, the Highland fling and the Irish jig, drain pipes in various parts of the world, Dick Van Dyke, and several pages of plot twists of which I have no recollection — none of it has been real!" At once flummoxed and dejected, she...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Monday, November 29, 2010 8:16:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
...began combing the tangled tresses of her deepest desires, in the mirror of her ridiculously vain unconscious slip-ups.

Unreliable friends are like eating rotting fruit when you're starving: they remind her of...

magnificent1rascal
Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 1:33:16 AM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
..."No, damn it, I am NOT a character in a parody of a Tom Robbins book," she said aloud, to somehow make the statement more convincing. Wrenching herself back to reality, she straightened her dress and set about looking for a doctor. Clearly, she needed a specialist in...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 2:08:12 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
... lingual retraction services. That little pink tongue of hers had been protruding for ever so long, and while it was cute, the tip was starting to get a tad cold. "Now what medical specialty deals in tongues," she wondered...
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 2:28:55 AM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,109
Location: By a fireplace.
...perhaps her first stop should be an Otorhinolaryngologist, said the internet doctor wannabee, Lilly Flamer, who was yet to change her name to something less silly. Lilly thought for a moment about her ailing career, not cutting it in the field of medicine, and decided that in her locale, with the burgeoning University student population, she'd be better off concentrating on growing...
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 3:17:48 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,973
...potatoes, big juicy potatoes. This thought became an obsession, haunting her like her shadow. She had walked among potatoes all her life, but now she realized...
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 6:24:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
...that she was merely trying to recapture the magic of the summer of 2005 when she and Mr Potato-Head had met whilst vacationing in LegoLand. She had never confessed the torrid affair with the man who had inter-changable appendages, but she often marvelled at his ability to........

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 12:04:44 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,833
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...drink so many shots of tequila, thus giving new meaning to the phrase "smashed potatoe"...though he seemed a bit offended when she referred to him as "fried" one day after a couple of tokes on a joint. The other thing he seemed really offended by was...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Satyr
Posted: Wednesday, December 01, 2010 4:38:37 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/19/2009
Posts: 40
Location: United States
...individually wrapped mints or individually wrapped anything. She wasn't afraid anymore, they were finally alone. All the years of waiting and now they were alone together. Her breathing became shallow. Her mind raced. He was about to kiss her when he took out THAT and put it over his...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 12:14:04 AM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,018
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...rigid plastic carrying case and let it drop, landing with the faintest 'click.' THAT, of course, was his bulbous proboscis, which he always removed before snogging; as everyone knows, noses just get in the way during...

Maggie Rascal
nicola
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 3:22:40 AM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,109
Location: By a fireplace.
...a trip to an Opthalmic Optician. Sensing she might be seeing things that weren't actually real, Lilly thought it might be time to give up...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 9:53:28 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,427
Location: Cakeland, United States
her morning ritual of coffee drinking and toad licking. Quitting the amphibian was easiest as they didn't taste all that good anyway, but it was the java which...

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
DirtyMartini
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 10:47:54 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,833
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...had always given her the morning energy boost she always relied on for her other projects like creating erotic story sites. Since she decided to give up toad licking, she wondered what to do with her toad collection so she...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

mercianknight
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 11:13:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....callled the Police Impound yard and asked the befuddled Officer on the phone if they had any vacancies for her Toads. Exasperated, she explained to the Officer that surely they must have a need for her Toad, if only to drive some of those 'Toad' Vehicles that she heard they store there, whereupon......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
DirtyMartini
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 3:15:16 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,833
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...she wondered if MercianKnight actually writes his own material and finally found the answer to why he doesn't do stand up. The officer on the end of the line did tell her about a car they had there with a big "S" painted on the side that once belonged to a snail. He had the "S" painted there because he wanted everyone to say "look at that S-car go." But, since the officer was not amused and did not want her toads, she...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, December 14, 2010 7:21:19 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.........posted them on E-Bay and traded them in for a years subscription to "Prostate Examiner" under the illusion it was a US College Football periodical she could give to her buddy, DirtyMartini. Upon receipt of his first copy, DM, excited at the prospect of having Nic 'examine' him, decided to.......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.