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itssosoft
Posted: Friday, March 11, 2011 9:48:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/10/2011
Posts: 116
Location: Silverton
Since my time here on Lush I have gotten the chance to talk with a lot of people. I have lately encounter people telling me that I am rude for not wanting to waste time talking to them and if I am not open to talking to people I should not be a member of this site. These people that I refuse to talk to are the ones that I know nothing about. Is it so wrong of me that if someone has not taken the time to put up an avatar picture or any picture at all or if a person has put no information about themselves, that I don't talk to them? Should I talk to every random person who pops up and give them a chance? I don't think I am being rude. I was wanting to know what others opinions were on this subject.

Gspot19
Posted: Friday, March 11, 2011 10:17:19 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/30/2011
Posts: 8
Location: United States
Hey, this is quite a difficult question. Both sides of the argument could be very right depending on the circumstances. I recently joined Lush and didnt have any pictures up, although I did create a bio. i quickly added pictures as i noticed thats what most others had up also and after a guy who started chatting with me requested. However, I felt bad that i was constantly rejected when I wanted to chat with someone. When I finally did post pictures up, I still kept being rejected. I noticed many girls stated in their profile, that they don't like being randomly IMed by guys especially and thought i wasnt very liked b/c of the content of my pictures. But thats what lush is all about! I thought these girls were probably thinking I just wanted to talk about fucking them. But even if I was, so be it! we are in a "sex community". But I didnt just want to talk about naughty things. I want to get to know people and share experiences and learn form the other. If they had only given me a chance, maybe we'd be good lush friends. So I do think you should give people who chat with you a small opporunity.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Friday, March 11, 2011 10:33:23 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,748
Location: Your dirty fantasy
No, and don't let random people guilt you into making you think you owe them anything. Would you talk to every guy that approached you in a bar or on the street? No. So why should it be different online. There are manipulative people out there that are probably trying to take advantage of the situation and are playing the "you're stuck up" card just because you don't drop your life to have a random online conversation and entertain them. This is a writing site first and foremost, it's not Adultfriendfinder or Match.com, nor is it a freebie webgirls site where you're supposed to roll over and drool when a red/white avatar with an empty profile contacts you for a chat, cyber session, pic-trade or webcam offer. You're a writer and that's why you're on this site. If you feel sufficiently intrigued to chat with someone, it should be a mutual decision, not one person guilting the other into it.

I don't chat with many people and make that clear on my profile. I'm also set to 'away' or invisible quite a lot as well. I know some people might think I'm a bit stand-offish or an ice-princess and a few people have mentioned I'm intimidating (?) which is strange because I'm actually very friendly and despite my current uber-bitch avatar, quite the fun girl. But, just like in bars, my guard goes up in social environments sometimes. I don't owe anyone anything, nor do they owe me. Making your intentions clear in your profile seems to work for me most of the time. At least then you have an 'out' when you reject an online chat. Everyone comes to Lush for different reasons, and everyone needs to respect that reality... if they can't respect that, then why should you respect their attempts to chat you up?

Good luck girl... the most important thing to remember is to do what you want. It's your "Lush life" and solely yours to control as you desire... icon_smile

DirtyMartini
Posted: Friday, March 11, 2011 10:41:31 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,850
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
No...you are most definitely not wrong...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
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BicycleBum
Posted: Friday, March 11, 2011 10:43:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/1/2010
Posts: 633
It's a free country and a public forum. You can talk to or not talk to whomever you want. If anyone gives you crap about it, simply direct them to the link to this song. evil4

obscura
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 12:28:47 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/10/2010
Posts: 143
Location: Zef Side
What an awful, snobbish thing to do. Didn't your mother teach you to be polite and not ignore others?

But if people have such highly inflated opinions of themselves that they think they are worth anyone and everyone's time then it just confirms they are definitely not worth the trouble. There is likely only one thing on their mind anyway.



sprite
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 12:38:14 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 17,527
Location: My Tower, United States
ok, my opinion? no, you are NOT wrong, everything Doll said? take it to heart. btw, i tend to block everyone, and appear offline most of the time as well - my first 3 weeks here were spent being bombarded with chat requests and IMs and many of them were pushy and rude if i wasn't able to respond imediately ( you try it when 7 different people are tying to chat at you at once!) and, of course, a percentage were simply after cyber...

so, as Doll said, this is, primarlily, a writing site - sure, it's fun to socialize, and many of us do, but there are no rules that say you have to be one way or the other here - if you want, you can ignore everyone, and simply write, or, do what many of us do, get close to a small handful of people and do most of your socializing with them, post in forums from time to time, it's YOUR time and you don't have to answer to anyone - and if they think that's snobbish, well, probably better off not taking the time to befriend them - really, it's like real life, some people you click with, and others, you might wave and say hi, but that's about it. no one has the right to tell you that you should be friendly to everyone, because, really, there's like 50,000 people here!

ps - be my BFF or i will throw myself off a virtual cliff *giggles*

Live, love, laugh.
SatinBatty
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 3:50:31 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/13/2010
Posts: 198
Nothing wrong with not wanting to chat with everyone who seeks conversation. Just because this site allows for chatting doesn't mean everyone wants to talk to everybody else.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 4:54:04 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
there's always some sad little lonely person, who probably needs to get out more, waiting in the wings ready to tell you why not talking, cybering, displaying hundreds of X-rated pictures of yourself etc etc means you shouldn't be a member here.

Either ignore them or send them on their way as you would do if people behaved in such a ridiculous way in real life. Don't stop for even a second and let it bother you, it's just pathetic people behaving in a pathetic manner.
overmykneenow
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 5:10:18 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,290
Location: United Kingdom
But if you don't talk to them how on earth will you discover their open-minded world views and libertarian approach to life.

You should name and shame these idiots - they chase good people away from this site

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

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MMonroe
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 5:54:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,893
Location: United Kingdom
No, you;re definately not wrong. I dont talk to everyone who tries to talk to me, especially if they have no avatar or some ridiculous name like 'my-cock-is-20-inches-long-and-10-round', and if they start the conversation with 'alright babe?' (if i dont already know them) or 'wanna cyber/cam', theyre gone straight away. Its all there on my profile that i dont want to cyber and if they cant be bothered to read that first then im not gonna other with them.

Since having all that up on my profile i have noticed the amount of guys wanting to cam have gone down so its a good idea to put that up if you havent already



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Dudealicious
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 8:38:18 AM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,539
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
This makes me laugh that there are supposedly "grown men" (per site rules) throwing temper tantrums because you won't talk to them? Please excuse me as I walk away from the high school BS!

Listen to what all the others have posted here, ignore the snot nosed brats who try to push you into a conversation. If they are starting a relationship like this, chances are you won't be friends for long.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

ratsass
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 12:16:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/9/2011
Posts: 609
Location: Here and there
I don´t think you are doing anything wrong when you turn down to talk to some of the people. For my own i think a person have to "earn" the respect and so on to get talked to.
But that´s just my opinion
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 12, 2011 6:54:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Go with your instincts, they sound pretty accurate.
Bunny12
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 11:36:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 1,011
Location: My own little world, United States
Why are you worried about what anyone else thinks especially a bunch of horny guys on a sex story site!!! Priorities hon - fuck um - do your own thing and those who don't like it can kiss your ass! bootyshake

Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 1:26:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Ermmm totally agree with most everyone here. I have a no chatting thing on my profile because I got sick of guys trying to cyber with me. Even when they professed to not wanting to cyber they then would begin to try do it while chatting. Buy a girl a drink first(rolls eyes)I loathe cybering as a result. I got to a point where I decided to not chat with anyone. If people really want to get hold of me they can sent a text line or a PM.I can then decide if I want to respond. I've even started to now be more selective with my friend list as I don't want to just randomly add people. You don't have to communicate with anyone if you don't want to.

I also loathe it when people tell me they are going to delete me if I don't chat with them. I'll then delete them myself. I think it's a form of emotional blackmail.
MMonroe
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 2:57:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,893
Location: United Kingdom
Loislane wrote:
I also loathe it when people tell me they are going to delete me if I don't chat with them. I'll then delete them myself. I think it's a form of emotional blackmail.


There's a guy on my list (no names mentioned) who i never talk to and all his status is ever about is how he hates all the 'bitches' and 'sluts' on here that never talk to him...... funny how they're not sluts before they reject him ey?



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 3:01:18 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
MMonroe wrote:
Loislane wrote:
I also loathe it when people tell me they are going to delete me if I don't chat with them. I'll then delete them myself. I think it's a form of emotional blackmail.


There's a guy on my list (no names mentioned) who i never talk to and all his status is ever about is how he hates all the 'bitches' and 'sluts' on here that never talk to him...... funny how they're not sluts before they reject him ey?



Classy...
nicola
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 3:37:14 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,626
Location: United Kingdom
6

My status is permanently set to away, I simply do not have the time to be able to chat to people.

I even told someone via pm I wasn't interested / didn't have the time to chat, so they sent me half a dozen pm's trying to start a conversation that way instead isjda
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 6:45:04 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,508
Location: Cakeland, United States
nicola wrote:
I even told someone via pm I wasn't interested / didn't have the time to chat, so they sent me half a dozen pm's trying to start a conversation that way instead isjda


I always admired how you don't drop names. thumbup

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
redhotmommacita
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 6:55:51 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/9/2009
Posts: 1,123
Location: In my own little world., United States
I have gotten tired of guys on here promising to only chat to me and then they start up questions of positions and favorite things and my fantasies..ughhhhhhh

for the past 5 months I have been in a committed real relationshiplove8 not a online relationship and I wont cheat on my man or cyber for a cheap thrill... love8

if I tell the guys this they think I am stupid or silly to not want to cyber with them...I know I have hundreds of men on my list but I do not talk to even a smidgen of them.... I just dont like being mean and denying them maybe it is the mother in me that feels sorry for them....

They need to get the hint to just leave me alone I only talk to true friends on here and it is only about ourselves and our children or our divorces.

as I am writing this forum I have been hit for chat 4 times and about 4 times poked by an annoying guy.. that ignoring him hasnt given a hint yet that I am not interested in chat.....and I thought I was hard headed geesh......



Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"


Sw33tAng3l
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 9:13:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/16/2011
Posts: 1,530
Location: Somewhere in my fantasy...
I think you have the right to talk to whomever you want. There's no rule somewhere that says you HAVE to talk to everyone. So don't worry too much about what others have to say.

Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 13, 2011 11:30:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Feel free to chat with anyone you feel comfortable to chat with and don't take it too hard from them that you don't want to chat with. That in it's self tells you how immature some are here. Just have fun with who you want to have fun and tell the others to go take a long walk on a short peir. ;)
dan17
Posted: Monday, March 14, 2011 10:17:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/14/2011
Posts: 283
choosing someone to talk is not bad but sometimes if you regret to talk to someone you doesn't feel to talk too argue better tell her/his straight and why you don't want to talk to that person by giving the fact not just ignoring them.

mrgay
itssosoft
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 2:04:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/10/2011
Posts: 116
Location: Silverton
dan17 wrote:
choosing someone to talk is not bad but sometimes if you regret to talk to someone you doesn't feel to talk too argue better tell her/his straight and why you don't want to talk to that person by giving the fact not just ignoring them.



I am not one hundred percent that I understood what you said here.

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 5:08:54 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
We all are wrong sometimes, don´t worry. What was the question again?
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 6:12:49 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Hello, of course you are not wrong, its your time and you are quite capable of deciding how you spend it...

I was going to offer you a tip, a how to kind of thing...but if i did that whoever reads the post will know the trick and it will become useless.

Not a trick question or a ruse to get your attention...if you would like to know let me know and I will pass on the technique.

cheerio
cherryrebel
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 8:57:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/24/2010
Posts: 336
Location: whispering in your ear, United Kingdom
no, you are definately not wrong. It's the people who have empty profiles, no stories and no pics or comments on their profile that do my head in.

They clearly haven't made any effort whatsoever because all they want to do on this site is cuber with strangers... so I ignore them because that's not why I'M on this site, so they need to find someone else.

And I just want to cyber drop kick the losers that want to chat just so that they can say, Hi, I'm really horny, what are you wearing?? ..... err, HELLOOO, I'm a real person, and you don't even want to know my name first?? Now that's just plain bad manners.

I mean, no small talk or friend add or nothin'... In my opinion it's these people that are too lazy for foreplay before sex... you get out what you put in. do ya get me? xxx
MrRowan
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 9:35:52 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/9/2010
Posts: 38
Location: Northern Ireland
Coming from a guy, no you are not wrong, ignore whoever you like. If I was a woman on this site I would be going mental lol. That's why I never randomly IM people on this site ever, just rude I think.

"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." ~ Jane Austen

Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 20, 2011 8:46:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Well I suppose you cant help being in demand and popular
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