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BearInATopHat
Posted: Friday, March 4, 2011 7:08:39 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/19/2010
Posts: 153
Location: Washington
My fiance cheated on me with her best friend's husband... and now there's a chance she's pregnant because the condom broke. I still love her and she claims to still love me, but the emotional pain is more severe than anything I've ever experienced. I now come to my Lush family to ask: Has this ever happened to you and how did you get over it?

The bear in the top hat!


Here's my facebook if anyone wants it: http://www.facebook.com/kungfujimmyd
BicycleBum
Posted: Friday, March 4, 2011 11:05:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/1/2010
Posts: 633
Kind of been there to on this one bro. I know it's so much easier said than done, but you have to get away from that, especially if some other guy knocked her up. If she is pregnant, you need to be ready to establish your non-paternity and let that other clown deal with child support, paternity, etc. It's hard to hear now, and, like I say, it is so much easier said than done, but if she can casualy do that to you, she's not worth your time anymore. The sooner you take action and get away from her, the better. If you let it drag on, it'll only drive you nuts.

In the mean time, maybe this will give you a little lift. Your username brought it to mind.

Dontholien
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 2:25:34 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/20/2009
Posts: 210
Location: Rivendell, United Kingdom
My partner cheated on me with his ex who is also mother of his 1st child.

I found out when i was 6 months pregnant that it had started before i even fell pregnant, he swore he would end it. 2 weeks before i was due to have our baby i found an email from her explaining to him how much she loved him and that she felt so down because she had suffered a miscarrage and couldnt have him there with her. He swore the affair wasnt still going on but aadmitted that he did still love her and said i couldnt expect him to just fall out of love with her just because i had found out about them. When our baby was 7 weeks old i discovered that the affair was 100% still going on and that it had never really stopped and i threw him out. It was the worst pain i had ever felt in my life, i was an emotionl wreck, couldnt eat for weeks and couldnt see the end of the dark tunnel.

We were apart for 3 months but after only 2 he admitted to me that he had realised he had made the biggest mistake of his life and that he would do anything to have me back so after long talks and big decisions i decided to give it one last shot. That was 7 months ago and now we are stronger than weve ever been, things have changed so much, theres no more of him sitting with the laptop at an angle so i cant see it, no more deleting every text, and no more excuses why he had to nip down to her house after work.

As good as it is now though even 7 months down the line i struggle to come to terms with him cheating on me. I struggle with knowing that he betrayed me, that he could lie to me so easily, that he spent so long living a lie and loving someone else too and mostly that he got someone else pregnant. Its all something you dont just one day get over, its something you need to work on day by day. Sometimes you will have good days, sometimes you will have bad days, sometimes even bad weeks but unfortunatly there is no miricle cure to just help you get over it. And if she is pregnant you need to either learn to accept the love child or walk away.

realz
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 4:25:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/29/2011
Posts: 253
You've got to let go. It's better now than later. That sounds cruel but really it's not.

The bitterness can eat you though, Try to overcome that (for your own sake).

Not everyone is well suited for monogamy; you are looking for that, but she probably is not. It's ok to feel bad, but give her the freedom to go her way while you go yours.

[having said that, I've been married twice before but in both cases it was not the infidelity itself that ended the marriage. In the one case, however, she fell in love with the guy so there's not much I could do except wish her well.
thepainter
Posted: Thursday, March 17, 2011 2:11:07 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands


Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
dan17
Posted: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 9:48:06 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/14/2011
Posts: 283
my first question if she still love you why she did that? second your not the only one she hurt also her best friend

so you need to do is to move on. No reason to think it over and over again, the damage has been done and just think things happen for a good a reason maybe you deserve someone better than her, you also lucky that you knew this before your wedding.angel7

mrgay
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, March 27, 2011 11:07:25 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,801
Location: Cakeland, United States
Rock solid take, Dan.

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
ashleymneil
Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2011 6:34:07 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 11/30/2010
Posts: 5
ManOfWar wrote:
My fiance cheated on me with her best friend's husband... and now there's a chance she's pregnant because the condom broke. I still love her and she claims to still love me, but the emotional pain is more severe than anything I've ever experienced. I now come to my Lush family to ask: Has this ever happened to you and how did you get over it?



OMG! Why are you still thinking of her. I just have one thing to say stop going on with her and move on. There are many other singles out there waiting for you. Hence, enjoy your life.

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 4:59:34 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 784,715
to be honest i think if she really loved you she wouldn't have done it.
my ex-fiance cheated on me and a week before the wedding she left to live with him. i can say that the more you convince yourself she didn't and doesn't deserve your love, the more you put yourself out there and meet new girls the less you will think of her and your heart will mend.
ducky69
Posted: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 7:06:15 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/2/2009
Posts: 446
Location: My own little world
Been there kinda.... Understand your feelings towards her..... but like others have said walk away. Start fresh find someone who really does love you and won't do that to you....

It won't be easy but time heals many wounds.....

Rubber Ducky your the one, you make my life so much fun
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 14, 2011 9:41:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 784,715
I don't know the two of you or your relationship. All I can say is to get past this, you two will most likely need to get some help. You both have a lot of issues to address. If it were me in your shoes, I would dump her and move on with my life. It's what I would expect from anyone I would do that to.
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