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do you find this emasculating? Options · View
latinfoxy
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 5:10:22 PM

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Location: Here
Reading and well yes arguing on another forum i started to wonder how much really guys can find a girl paying for something emasculating?

imagine this: You have been dating a girl for sometime, she calls you and tells you that she bought some movies ticket so you can go together and see the movie, or you are on a club you have bought some drinks already and the girl you are with comes back with two drinks one of them for you, and another hundred othe scenarios were a girl ends up paying for something

Do you as a guy feel that she shouldn't be doing this and that she is trying to emasculate you or do you find it like a cute thing she is doing for you?
beast999
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 5:25:52 PM

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Location: United Kingdom
I think it's nice if a girl pays. Shows she is willing to talk to you and spend time with you.
But not all the time. I think from both points of view, its nice being treated in a while. I sure like being treated!
stephanie
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 5:36:49 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,335
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
Absolutely no problem...

If I ask you out, to dinner, to a concert, to the theatre, then it's my date and I pay.....

If at any point after that, like if we go for a late drink or to a club, and she says "I'll get this", that's flattering and cool.... But then we match each other round for round...

And unless she's coming home with me or I'm dropping her home to stay over, (in both cases I'd insist on paying for the cab...) If she's leaving to go home alone I'll escort her to a cab and pay the driver an agreed fee as she gets into the car.... And I always ask that she texts me goodnight when she's home safe.....


If you ask Me out..... Yeah, I'm flattered and pleased.... But I will be all bloke-y and insist on paying for the extra bottle of wine and the cab home and all that stuff!!!
xx SF



"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 6:48:23 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
stephanie wrote:
Absolutely no problem...

If I ask you out, to dinner, to a concert, to the theatre, then it's my date and I pay.....

If at any point after that, like if we go for a late drink or to a club, and she says "I'll get this", that's flattering and cool.... But then we match each other round for round...

And unless she's coming home with me or I'm dropping her home to stay over, (in both cases I'd insist on paying for the cab...) If she's leaving to go home alone I'll escort her to a cab and pay the driver an agreed fee as she gets into the car.... And I always ask that she texts me goodnight when she's home safe.....


If you ask Me out..... Yeah, I'm flattered and pleased.... But I will be all bloke-y and insist on paying for the extra bottle of wine and the cab home and all that stuff!!!
xx SF



You pretty much said it for me too.
Thanks wave
Kenny8227
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 7:08:16 PM

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Joined: 1/4/2010
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Location: Georgetown, Malaysia
Its not a problem. Sometimes its nice to know that a girl/women is willing to pay as that reflects that she is also keen and interested in this date.
Unprotectable
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 7:26:23 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/17/2009
Posts: 12
Location: Mobile
It's only a problem if the guy's largest asset is his wallet.

I think it is fair to consider what the price of the event is. If I invite a chic to a movie - as stated before - I invited her and I would pay. If we want to go to a concert together or something and tickets are $100 per person, I think it should be split.
WorkAlone
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 9:01:08 PM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
Money's not a hang-up for me either way. I like to buy things for my loved ones but that's not about money, it's more about finding things that are special for them. If she wants to do nice little things for me, that's fine too. We're all people. In the long run, no aspect of a relationship can be all one-sided. I think if I was in a long-term relationship with a woman who hadn't even offered to pay for something, I'd start thinking my money is all she was interested in. It would border on rude at that point. I'd also hate the idea that I had to think about money either way when I just want to be with her. Just my My 2 cents
dan17
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 9:42:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/14/2011
Posts: 283
it depends to the scenario/set-up sometimes you might insult the capacity of your date, but base on ethics who invite for certain occasion she/he should pay

mrgay
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 11:07:50 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,451
Location: Cakeland, United States
latinfoxy wrote:
Do you as a guy feel that she shouldn't be doing this and that she is trying to emasculate you or do you find it like a cute thing she is doing for you?


I would think that she's being thoughtful and considerate and I would feel appreciative. It's the little things that count the most.

'Fetch me another cold beer, while you're up... babe, the game is starting and I don't wanna miss the kickoff!"

Seriously, it takes a great deal more than those scenarios to emasculate most confident men, LF. Now if she were to fuck my boss, my brother and my old uncle Ernie in front of me, and not invite me to join the gangbang...that might hurt my feelings a smidgen.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 6:06:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
WellMadeMale wrote:
latinfoxy wrote:
Do you as a guy feel that she shouldn't be doing this and that she is trying to emasculate you or do you find it like a cute thing she is doing for you?


I would think that she's being thoughtful and considerate and I would feel appreciative. It's the little things that count the most.

'Fetch me another cold beer, while you're up... babe, the game is starting and I don't wanna miss the kickoff!"

Seriously, it takes a great deal more than those scenarios to emasculate most confident men, LF. Now if she were to fuck my boss, my brother and my old uncle Ernie in front of me, and not invite me to join the gangbang...that might hurt my feelings a smidgen.



laughing3 The perfect answer. I concur. laughing3

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
overmykneenow
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 7:18:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,217
Location: United Kingdom
"Emasculating" was an interesting choice of words from cokeheadbarbie on that forum thread

What is literally* being said there is that a man's wallet equates to his testicles. Removing his financial power in the relationship being the same as removing his testicles

I personally struggle to reconcile this statement even though as a general view on society it probably holds up. So to you answer your question from my perspective: no I would not find that "emasculating".



*yes, I mean literally

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 9:15:25 AM

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Joined: 11/4/2010
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Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
Any real man I know would not tell the girl he was chatting up that he had not enuf money for drinks that nite and sweatie could you please pick up the tab for drinks. Its true what overmyknee is saying it is tied to his sense of being "a man" to provide for the woman and take care of her even if its just shelling out for drinks at the club. Would you men not feel like your balls was chopped off if you were dating a girl you could not afford? I think the only men that would not care are the deadbeats that like to date women with money to take care of them but when that happens its never a wicked hot woman but mostly older birds with the funds to hook up the younger blokes for the sex.

Real men would not take a girl out or approach her if he cant afford it and demand her to foot the bill.

On the other thread the one girl was saying how she wouldnt care if a guy came up to her at the bar and just chatted her but never offer to buy her a drink if he cant afford it. I think that logic is wrecked. Everyone knows that the man need to make an offer to have the time and attentions of the girl in the club. If he did not offer to buy me a drink I will think he is either rude or a deadbeat. For real, most real men would feel right tacky about it!!

I think its best to leave those hotter girls at the club an not embarass himself and go down to the pub where the beer is on tap and mad cheap and try to pick up on the girls that are more in his league that he could afford.

Most guys get this logic no?

xx B.
scooter
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 9:33:38 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
I git it Barbie,
It's all part of being a man.
WorkAlone
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 2:11:25 PM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
scooter wrote:
I git it Barbie,
It's all part of being a man.


It's all part of being a CokeHeadedKen, at least.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 2:19:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
If she paid for the night out?? Hell, I would be flattered that she cares enough to spend her money on me!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 4:13:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
WorkAlone wrote:
scooter wrote:
I git it Barbie,
It's all part of being a man.


It's all part of being a CokeHeadedKen, at least.


LOL

.........no, in all seriousness it's really interesting to see a guy's view on this :)
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 4:18:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
cokeheadbarbie wrote:
Any real man I know would not tell the girl he was chatting up that he had not enuf money for drinks that nite and sweatie could you please pick up the tab for drinks. Its true what overmyknee is saying it is tied to his sense of being "a man" to provide for the woman and take care of her even if its just shelling out for drinks at the club. Would you men not feel like your balls was chopped off if you were dating a girl you could not afford? I think the only men that would not care are the deadbeats that like to date women with money to take care of them but when that happens its never a wicked hot woman but mostly older birds with the funds to hook up the younger blokes for the sex.

Real men would not take a girl out or approach her if he cant afford it and demand her to foot the bill.

On the other thread the one girl was saying how she wouldnt care if a guy came up to her at the bar and just chatted her but never offer to buy her a drink if he cant afford it. I think that logic is wrecked. Everyone knows that the man need to make an offer to have the time and attentions of the girl in the club. If he did not offer to buy me a drink I will think he is either rude or a deadbeat. For real, most real men would feel right tacky about it!!

I think its best to leave those hotter girls at the club an not embarass himself and go down to the pub where the beer is on tap and mad cheap and try to pick up on the girls that are more in his league that he could afford.

Most guys get this logic no?

xx B.


Waves from the 'one girl'....

'demand her to foot the bill' ....I don't think that's really what the question was about here, nor what was implied by anyone (other than you) on the other post in the 'ask the gals' section. No one is talking about 'demanding', we are merely talking about delving into one's own pocket out of one's own free will to pay for a drink, some money towards dinner, a train ticket perhaps.

So men.....continue answering away!
hobbhorn
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 5:39:43 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 320
Location: Andrews
I suppose I'm old enough to just simply accept what happens... I can afford things for the women in my life and sometimes they can afford things for me --- either way --- I am neither emasculated or empowered. I don't expect from them and the way I see they should not expect from me. If we like each other and we hook up... that's great. If we don't.... so what, it just was not meant to be. doesn't matter a damn about money.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 6:04:48 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,553
Location: Your dirty fantasy
I have no problem buying drinks or dinner for a guy that I'm into as the relationship progresses. We aren't living in the dark ages here. LOL

stephanie
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 6:20:11 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,335
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I have no problem buying drinks or dinner for a guy that I'm into as the relationship progresses. We aren't living in the dark ages here. LOL


If it wasn't for the fact that you have blonde hair.... (I'm a confirmed brunette fan....) I'd SOOOOOOO flirt with you!!!!

(You're amazing!)

xx SF

"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 8:04:39 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 163
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
Feels like some of you girls are trying to say it doesnt matter if the bloke is a deadbeat coz you are scared of sounding shallow and materialistic. Funny too since its exactly the way those guys try to play it off to make you all feel guilty for expecting some chivalrey. Like do you think Kate was buying rounds for Prince William? Hardly! It would be right embarasssing and all over the telly and tabloids in 10 seconds flat!!!

As much as girls want to play like they are mother theresa and above it all money is way important! If he can't even buy you a drink at the club then its a good sign that he is already in debt. Be smart girls!!

xx B.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 9:30:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
I think it's greaat!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 9:58:57 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
I never pay for anything when I'm with a guy. He might start getting used to it.
latinfoxy
Posted: Wednesday, May 04, 2011 11:05:00 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/5/2011
Posts: 816
Location: Here
Thanks guys for all of your answers, you are letting me know im not chopping balls every time i reach for my wallet ;)

cokeheadbarbie wrote:
Feels like some of you girls are trying to say it doesnt matter if the bloke is a deadbeat coz you are scared of sounding shallow and materialistic. Funny too since its exactly the way those guys try to play it off to make you all feel guilty for expecting some chivalrey. Like do you think Kate was buying rounds for Prince William? Hardly! It would be right embarasssing and all over the telly and tabloids in 10 seconds flat!!!

As much as girls want to play like they are mother theresa and above it all money is way important! If he can't even buy you a drink at the club then its a good sign that he is already in debt. Be smart girls!!

xx B.


as i said before i dont want a deadbeat near me because i do have standards when it comes to pick the guy i decide to be with BUT he paying me for drinks jewelry and my apartment rent just because im pretty is not one of them!! i do want a guy with goals at life and that those goals are some how specially in the monetary issue equal to mine and i am use to a certain type of life and have no desire to get them lower. That doesnt mean that i need a guy buying me things for me to give them time or date.

I dont have any desire of having a boy around with tons of money but that he is only interested in me because im hot, yes i am hot but i also have brains to match it and work my ass off everyday making a successful business work out, i do like guys buying things for me what girl wouldnt, but that doesnt mean that i NEED guys buying things for me!!

I think theres a HUGE middle ground between a deadbeat and a guy that is comfortable enough in there own skin to let a girl reach for her own wallet to pay for somethings! just my My 2 cents

Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2011 2:48:04 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
cokeheadbarbie wrote:
Feels like some of you girls are trying to say it doesnt matter if the bloke is a deadbeat coz you are scared of sounding shallow and materialistic. Funny too since its exactly the way those guys try to play it off to make you all feel guilty for expecting some chivalrey. Like do you think Kate was buying rounds for Prince William? Hardly! It would be right embarasssing and all over the telly and tabloids in 10 seconds flat!!!

As much as girls want to play like they are mother theresa and above it all money is way important! If he can't even buy you a drink at the club then its a good sign that he is already in debt. Be smart girls!!

xx B.


There really isn't any point in assuming what other people think or feel as, at the end of the day, we're the ones inside our own minds - not you. Just because some people have a different opinion to you doesn't mean that they're 'scared' or any such thing.

We don't all need or want someone to pay our way for us - just accept that.

loud_bkr
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2011 4:03:17 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2011
Posts: 5,715
Location: Fuct if I know
cokeheadbarbie, I have the money to pay for all the drinks and dinner, but it would be nice now and then for the lady to pay for a few things. If not I might get the impression that all she is after is my money and taking advantage of me, who wants a lady like that in ones life!

In a relationship things should be equal, and by that I mean everything. I can do the laundry, cleaning, sewing and most of the cooking and I would expect her to be equal on the financial side as well by paying for some things.

latinfoxy is right about "I think theres a HUGE middle ground between a deadbeat and a guy that is comfortable enough in there own skin to let a girl reach for her own wallet to pay for somethings!. " It show she cares and isn't just after money.

cokeheadbarbie, another thought could be, why does he need to buy you a drink at the club, will he get something in return?
If I have to pay for EVERYTHING then I damn well will expect something in return!! Nothing is for FREE!


Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2011 4:18:49 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,513
latinfoxy wrote:
Reading and well yes arguing on another forum i started to wonder how much really guys can find a girl paying for something emasculating?

imagine this: You have been dating a girl for sometime, she calls you and tells you that she bought some movies ticket so you can go together and see the movie, or you are on a club you have bought some drinks already and the girl you are with comes back with two drinks one of them for you, and another hundred othe scenarios were a girl ends up paying for something

Do you as a guy feel that she shouldn't be doing this and that she is trying to emasculate you or do you find it like a cute thing she is doing for you?


No - is the short answer - Life is too short to have hangs ups of this nature. It must be an awfully large drink if it can emasculate a guy!
WorkAlone
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2011 7:17:37 AM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
loud_bkr wrote:
In a relationship things should be equal, and by that I mean everything. I can do the laundry, cleaning, sewing and most of the cooking and I would expect her to be equal on the financial side as well by paying for some things.


hello1

I'll add to this by saying that I, for one, want my partner to have some money, business experience, career drive, etc. Why should I be the only one in the relationship with ambitions? If she doesn't have some kind of work ethic, career, etc. she probably doesn't understand mine. In this, it's not about the money, it's about simple compatibility. Like Dudealiscious, I make a good income and paying for drinks, dinner, vacations, etc. isn't an issue. Further, I like to give, but if my partner does nothing but take, it just won't last all that long.

Maybe part of the question is "Are guy masculated/defined by their ability to pay for drinks/dinner/etc.?" My answer is "Hell NO"
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2011 8:35:29 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 163
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
latinfoxy wrote:
Thanks guys for all of your answers, you are letting me know im not chopping balls every time i reach for my wallet ;)

cokeheadbarbie wrote:
Feels like some of you girls are trying to say it doesnt matter if the bloke is a deadbeat coz you are scared of sounding shallow and materialistic. Funny too since its exactly the way those guys try to play it off to make you all feel guilty for expecting some chivalrey. Like do you think Kate was buying rounds for Prince William? Hardly! It would be right embarasssing and all over the telly and tabloids in 10 seconds flat!!!

As much as girls want to play like they are mother theresa and above it all money is way important! If he can't even buy you a drink at the club then its a good sign that he is already in debt. Be smart girls!!

xx B.


as i said before i dont want a deadbeat near me because i do have standards when it comes to pick the guy i decide to be with BUT he paying me for drinks jewelry and my apartment rent just because im pretty is not one of them!! i do want a guy with goals at life and that those goals are some how specially in the monetary issue equal to mine and i am use to a certain type of life and have no desire to get them lower. That doesnt mean that i need a guy buying me things for me to give them time or date.

I dont have any desire of having a boy around with tons of money but that he is only interested in me because im hot, yes i am hot but i also have brains to match it and work my ass off everyday making a successful business work out, i do like guys buying things for me what girl wouldnt, but that doesnt mean that i NEED guys buying things for me!!

I think theres a HUGE middle ground between a deadbeat and a guy that is comfortable enough in there own skin to let a girl reach for her own wallet to pay for somethings! just my My 2 cents



Well when guys pay for your flat and your jewels and the "maintenance-tune-ups" (spa, extensions, nails, hi-lites) its coz he thinks you are pretty. Women want to be hot so they can have attention and get the blokes higher up on the ladder that are better catches right? I know we don't right admit it in the open but being really good looking opens all the doors so you dont have to work as hard. Who likes to work hard tho right? Not even the blokes fancy 24/7 jobs but they do it for status and money and if they buy a flashy car they want a hot girl too. They love to take care of both trust me!!

Your right theres a middle ground of average blokes but why not set your sights on the top dogs? Their right there and loving to pamper a woman so long as your fit and well maintenanced and love to party and make them feel like a man!

You could even keep working but they could invest in your business an make it even better! I know one girl whose man funds her boutique an she just travels the globe looking for wicked little finds to stock in there (bits like jewelery, scarfs, hair ornaments, auromatherapy oils) so its best of both coz she works but has the security too no?

xx B.

cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2011 8:42:29 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 163
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
LittleBambi wrote:
cokeheadbarbie wrote:
Feels like some of you girls are trying to say it doesnt matter if the bloke is a deadbeat coz you are scared of sounding shallow and materialistic. Funny too since its exactly the way those guys try to play it off to make you all feel guilty for expecting some chivalrey. Like do you think Kate was buying rounds for Prince William? Hardly! It would be right embarasssing and all over the telly and tabloids in 10 seconds flat!!!

As much as girls want to play like they are mother theresa and above it all money is way important! If he can't even buy you a drink at the club then its a good sign that he is already in debt. Be smart girls!!

xx B.


There really isn't any point in assuming what other people think or feel as, at the end of the day, we're the ones inside our own minds - not you. Just because some people have a different opinion to you doesn't mean that they're 'scared' or any such thing.

We don't all need or want someone to pay our way for us - just accept that.



Its true you might not need it but every girl secretly wants it. Look at all the fairytales we grew up in. Inside every girl is a hope that her Prince will ride in on a white Aston Martin and offer up the kingdom to her. Giggles.

Even notice how Barbie always had pink convertables and horse ranches and fancy things? you never saw a kid wish they could play with trailer park barbie right? Giggles.

Girls like pretty things. But now we've been forced to feel guilty about it and sign prenuptial agreements because of feminism. Its tragic tho, we are messing it up for ourselves in the end.

Too steps forward, three step back when you look at it criticly imo.
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