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JackFrosty
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 12:38:09 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/8/2011
Posts: 19
Location: Glasgow
Hey, my name's Jack and i'm still a virgin and even though i don't have a girlfriend i just want to know how to lose my virginity in a good way.

By this i mean not cumming after two minutes in the back of my car and that just being that.

Any advice would be apreachiated
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 4:27:51 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,771
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Jerk-off just before "the big date" so that you last longer (ie. drain thyself so that you aren't trigger-happy when the critical moment arrives).

Avoid being totally drunk/wasted.

Pay more attention to her than to yourself.

Watch some porn for tips and tricks.

Maybe rent a hotel room or wait until you have the house to yourself so that you aren't doing contortions in the back seat. You can make it all seductive and 'romanticle' with candles and music if that's your style.

Just because you had an orgasm doesn't mean the 'sexual session' is over. Get back into the foreplay until you are hard again.

Communicate with your partner... if you aren't comfortable with dirty talk, then just use simple things like "Mmm does that feel good, baby?" and listen to her responses.

Figure out 'protection' ahead of time. Know how to use a condom (practice!).

Don't rush the experience to 'get in there'... take your time.

Cuddle and ice-cream afterwards. thumbup





WorkAlone
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 5:14:11 PM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
DD has some good specific tips.

I disagree with the watching of porn for tips and tricks though (sorry DD). My advice is to take it slow and not pressure yourself. Spend a lot of time exploring her body. A woman's body is wonderful place to explore. Look at how she responds, figure out what works best for her, feel the different areas of her--the fleshiness of the breast, the hard nipple, the smooth expanse of belly, the molten softness of her lips, the slickness between them, the ridges and bumps inside. This is all the good stuff and, even if you last 2 minutes of actual intercourse, she'll have had a good time if you take your time and enjoy access to your new toys. I'd advocate doing a bunch of this before actually having intercourse.

When the time comes, DON'T try (or expect) to be a porn star. Just go slow and feel what's going on; you'll enjoy it more and last longer than if you just try to pound the stuffing out of her from the beginning. Look at her and watch how she responds. That will tell you how you're doing. What she'll want will change so try to follow along. Communicate with little phrases...ask her what's working for her, ask her how it feels, and share how it feels for you. Kissing and touching will go a long way to helping everything but forgive yourself if you're not able to multitask yet. Remember that orgasm isn't the point for either of you (many women simply won't orgasm from intercourse), it's the pleasure and connection that matters most.

Afterwards, relax and enjoy (but don't fall asleep). Bask in the afterglow of what may be, we hope, a pleasurable and intense experience. Caresses, kisses, and cuddles are your friend. As you start to come out of the post-coital trance, talk about your experiences. This isn't 20 questions, but there's a lot to learn from your first experience. Don't expect your performance was perfect and listen carefully to what she says without taking it as judgement.

Ice cream, chocolate, or some other decadence is probably a great way to wrap it up. You'll probably want to do it again so take good care of her and she just might let you. ;)

....and yes, protection, protection, protection
MahlerSymphony
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 6:51:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/5/2010
Posts: 97
Location: California, United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:
You can make it all seductive and 'romanticle' with candles and music if that's your style.





Romanticle. :D
JackFrosty
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 7:05:10 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/8/2011
Posts: 19
Location: Glasgow
OK, first off i'd like to say i never expected a response in under 24 hours

also - oh my days, this is even better advice than i could ever expect - thank you

[Disclaimer: i'm a kind of person who usually does one liner responses for each point given to me and they're done in chroni... chrono.... time related order]

Would a mid-afternoon 'session' be good enough for the 'night' - i mean i jack off at least once every two days but i've never tried it twice in one night.

I'm no lightweight but i'm not aiming for the iron stomach and i've only really drank socially so unless my fikrst time is an orgy.... he he...

Even though i do watch watch porn i'm not going to take too much from it - in the uk there was a info show about the porn industry and how sex in relationships was becoming more... more... err... hardcore i guess and i just don't want my first time to be of me renembering 'the script' i saw the night beforehand. Not that i watch anything extreme like extreme BDSM or urination.

I would plan something along the lines of that - i've read a lot of manga that touch on the subject.

When you said communicate with your partner i just instantly thought of facebook chat. ha ha

I already know about condoms [no thanks to catholic school teachers who only taught 'No sex ever or you will die'] and have... tried... them.... out..............

I'm half glad that you didn't say - pull out the cigarettes or nicotine gum - i'll never look at jelly and ice cream the same way again. ha ha

WorkAlone - you have a great way with words don't you - almost had to reach for the tissues there. ha ha.

I already don't expect to be a porn star - most of the sotrylines help me to realise that they're not real. he he. I think i'll be able to multitask a bit - i just hope i don't end up fingering the wrong hole because i wasn't looking. ha ha

I've now got this plan of having a mini fridge next to the bed with desserts in it. ha ha


Is it better if the other person has had experience or is it more fun if both people find it to be a learning experience?
JackFrosty
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 7:08:02 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/8/2011
Posts: 19
Location: Glasgow
Also what would be a good 'fuck tune' ?
WorkAlone
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 8:21:57 PM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
I'll try to do my responses in your preferred chroni... chrono... time related order ;)

Yes, a mid-afternoon 'session' will help for the night. The closer they are in time, the less 'sensitive' you'll be. Don't take this the wrong way, mate, but "never tried it twice in one night"? Really? No judgement, but I must've been doing 2-3 a night during puberty most nights with spikes to bigger numbers when I was horny... hmmm, never really told anyone about that..... feeling like I may be a pervvy freak now.... Embarassed

Now, where were we? Right...well, aside from your first time, I do suggest it's worth setting aside an afternoon to see what happens with #2, #3, etc. Time well spent researching your own body and not a bad way to waste an afternoon. Lube will be your friend as you get to the higher numbers and you'll see a difference in the way you cum too, but I'll you figure out how it changes. free-sexy-smileys-947

I'm no lightweight either but, speaking personally, I'd go with "stone cold sober" for the first time. Alcohol can do things to your thing as well as changing your co-ordination and judgement and you don't need anything working against you.

Nothing against porn. I have lots of it. Hell, we all do. Just not the best training aid. Forget everything you've seen in porn and just feel your way. You know what part goes where, the rest is just feel. Don't start with piledriver or something crazy, I say stick with the classics--missionary or cowgirl.

In terms of treats, I just took Doll's idea. I wouldn't have thought to suggest it.

Thanks for your comment on my way with words. Not sure if the tissue was for tears or other fluids and I don't really want to know....

"I just hope I don't end up fingering the wrong hole....." hmmm, not really a wrong hole... But this is where communication and an understanding partner comes in. You may do that by accident (or by being misguided by mass media or something else) but she can just 'correct' you. Don't take it personally.

I wasn't suggesting you can't multitask, just go easy on yourself the first time. Later, you can work on the fucking her pussy, sucking a nipple, fingering her ass, and rubbing her clit at the same time but that comes with practice (and lots of stretching, lol).

It's best if she has experience and, in my opinion, that she knows it's your first time. She can be prepared to guide you a little more and may opt to ride you instead. Come to think of it, that wouldn't be a bad way to go, lol. And, don't worry, not all women are expecting, or even wanting, uber-stud in their bed. Being someone's first can be a real compliment. If neither of you have experience, it's kind of the blind leading the blind. Not that it won't work, but it'd be good if at least one of you wasn't quite so nervous.

Good "fuck tunes" vary (and would probably make a good forum topic on its own). First time, find something comfortable, slow to moderate tempo. Leave the dance music, Nine Inch Nails, etc. for other nights. I'm a little concerned that you used the singular here: "fuck tune". Hmmm, might want to consider a longer playlist mate.

Again, relax, breathe, don't rush, and enjoy the journey without rushing to the end. Assume you don't know what you're doing, admit it, embrace it, and learn from the experience. You'll get better with practice.

In the immortal words of Monty Python "what's wrong with a kiss boy? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go rushing off to the clitoris like a bullet...how about a nice warm kiss?"

PS--bravo on trying out the condoms in advance. Many (most?) guys don't and I've heard some find it a boner killer to use one the first time with a partner.

Lots of luck!
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 9:07:58 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,771
Location: Your dirty fantasy
JackFrosty wrote:
Also what would be a good 'fuck tune' ?


Closer by Nine Inch Nails! hehe

Then again, I am the girl that suggested you watch porn for tips and tricks.

I actually watched a lot of porn before losing my V, and I personally think that it was helpful. You just take what you want and leave the hardcore stuff until you're more experienced. Nobody is suggesting you re-enact a Sasha Grey video, but in some ways I think it made me more adventurous. I just assumed that if the girls in the porn vids were doing certain things, then every girl must be doing those things. Plus I have a bit of a competitive side so I wanted to at least be on par with what I saw.

But yeah, porn research might be better for girls. Nobody will complain about a girl that acts like a porn star in the bedroom, but if a guy attempts some of those moves on his first try, it might not go over that well. So... it's probably best to leave the piledriver and ass-licking-69 positions until after you've got some experience under your belt... icon_biggrin



Guest
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 9:14:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,694
I think Doll is 100% wrong.

I think you should for sure re-enact a Sasha Grey video for your first time, you'll be guaranteed to have a second time, that's for sure :)
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 9:22:19 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,771
Location: Your dirty fantasy
brossela wrote:
I think Doll is 100% wrong.

I think you should for sure re-enact a Sasha Grey video for your first time, you'll be guaranteed to have a second time, that's for sure :)


For the second round, I suggest a Sasha Knox video.

It's best to work your way through all the Porno-Sashas during the explorative years... occasion5

LadyX
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 9:25:04 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,804
Avoid Sasha Vujajic's porn work, though. Actually, his work in the backcourt's nothing special either.
WorkAlone
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 9:45:40 PM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
spank

Bad girls. I can just picture it... OK, this is my first time so help me guide this baseball bat into your ass, ok? That's just EVIL!!!!!!

Frosty, don't listen to these gals....

Sheesh

LOL
dan17
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 10:03:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/14/2011
Posts: 283
Dancing_Doll wrote:
Jerk-off just before "the big date" so that you last longer (ie. drain thyself so that you aren't trigger-happy when the critical moment arrives).

Avoid being totally drunk/wasted.

Pay more attention to her than to yourself.

Watch some porn for tips and tricks.

Maybe rent a hotel room or wait until you have the house to yourself so that you aren't doing contortions in the back seat. You can make it all seductive and 'romanticle' with candles and music if that's your style.

Just because you had an orgasm doesn't mean the 'sexual session' is over. Get back into the foreplay until you are hard again.

Communicate with your partner... if you aren't comfortable with dirty talk, then just use simple things like "Mmm does that feel good, baby?" and listen to her responses.

Figure out 'protection' ahead of time. Know how to use a condom (practice!).

Don't rush the experience to 'get in there'... take your time.

Cuddle and ice-cream afterwards. thumbup






nice one, this is really effective just enjoy the moment to explore the body of your partner and have a very good oral and foreplay

mrgay
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 10:09:29 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,771
Location: Your dirty fantasy
WorkAlone wrote:
OK, this is my first time so help me guide this baseball bat into your ass, ok? That's just EVIL!!!!!!


Yes, but Porn Rule #17 clearly states: "When in doubt, bring a couple of buddies along on the date and have them cum on the baseball bat first to provide extra lube."

No problem! thumbup



WorkAlone
Posted: Monday, May 09, 2011 11:18:19 PM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
Dancing_Doll wrote:
WorkAlone wrote:
OK, this is my first time so help me guide this baseball bat into your ass, ok? That's just EVIL!!!!!!


Yes, but Porn Rule #17 clearly states: "When in doubt, bring a couple of buddies along on the date and have them cum on the baseball bat first to provide extra lube."

No problem! thumbup



ROFL....... seriously, I hurt from the laughing.....

Now, what's rule #18? As I recall, it that she's supposed to bring a few of her friends along as fluffers and cleaners right?

Read it We need to get these rules published some day Doll
JackFrosty
Posted: Tuesday, May 10, 2011 9:24:50 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/8/2011
Posts: 19
Location: Glasgow
my face has never been more redderr and i'm the one who talks the dirtiest out of my group of friends, i haven't been this embarresed since i was 13 and watching American Pie for the first time with my parents sitting next to me in my front room.

There are porn rules? have i been so sheltered? ha ha

When i said fuck tune i was asking for suggestions for a playlist - i might just make a couple of forum threads for good and bad fuck tunes

I've actually found a song online that can be played on repeat minus the squeky bit at start:

sprite
Posted: Tuesday, May 10, 2011 10:47:47 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 17,582
Location: My Tower, United States
ok, i was going to share some serious advice, but i'm afraid it would just be lost with all the silliness... Also, i have a few Sasha's to throw out there as well.

My advice - don't try to be someone your not - don't try to be a porn star, or ultra cool, be yourself, be comfortable with yourself, and she'll be comfortable as well - make it all about pleasuring her and that way you'll last longer - lots of foreplay, pay attention to her whole body, the actual act of intercourse should be sort of like the 6th course of a 7 course meal - touching, kissing, sucking, fondling, stroking - there's no hurry - even if you cum before she does, make sure not to just stop... you still have your fingers, your mouth - make sure she cums as well, and let her guide you as to what feels good to her.

hope that helps. as for good music to make love to - depends on your and her tastes - something you both like, that is fun, or sexy, or dirty - just keep it a a back ground volume - you don't want that to be the focus. :)

Live, love, laugh.
INNOCENTMISERY
Posted: Tuesday, May 10, 2011 10:57:31 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/28/2010
Posts: 415
Location: Albany, United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:
JackFrosty wrote:
Also what would be a good 'fuck tune' ?


Closer by Nine Inch Nails! hehe

Then again, I am the girl that suggested you watch porn for tips and tricks.

I actually watched a lot of porn before losing my V, and I personally think that it was helpful. You just take what you want and leave the hardcore stuff until you're more experienced. Nobody is suggesting you re-enact a Sasha Grey video, but in some ways I think it made me more adventurous. I just assumed that if the girls in the porn vids were doing certain things, then every girl must be doing those things. Plus I have a bit of a competitive side so I wanted to at least be on par with what I saw.

But yeah, porn research might be better for girls. Nobody will complain about a girl that acts like a porn star in the bedroom, but if a guy attempts some of those moves on his first try, it might not go over that well. So... it's probably best to leave the piledriver and ass-licking-69 positions until after you've got some experience under your belt... icon_biggrin







DD, you stole my thought there.

If you don't go with Closer, here's another favorite of mine...evn though it might be tacky.....Pink by Aerosmith


"Nos laetus epulor qui would domito nos. (We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.)"
"Nil satis nisi optimum. (Nothing but the best will do.)"
"I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so...horny." - Sarah Michelle Gellar (Kathryn, Cruel Intentions)
"Sex is just alone time with someone else there." - Taint on The Lex And Terry Show, 11/11/09
"Stupidity isn't a crime, so you're free to go."
"I am The Devil, too. There can only be one devil. One of us must go." - Ozzy Osbourne at the end of his cover of "Sympathy For The Devil"
"Your ego is not your amigo." - Nikki Sixx, The Heroin Diaries
"It's my world. I'm just letting you live here." - Mandy, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
MissyLuvsYa
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2011 12:44:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 552
Location: somewhere on the coast, United States
Like Dancing_Doll said "keep it romantic.' Try to stay relaxed...you don't have to be Cassanova the first time. LOL Just have fun. Maybe she'll give you round 2 right away! You'll get better each time so don't sweat it if you're not perfect.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2011 1:26:51 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,694
JackFrosty wrote:
my face has never been more redderr and i'm the one who talks the dirtiest out of my group of friends, i haven't been this embarresed since i was 13 and watching American Pie for the first time with my parents sitting next to me in my front room.

There are porn rules? have i been so sheltered? ha ha

When i said fuck tune i was asking for suggestions for a playlist - i might just make a couple of forum threads for good and bad fuck tunes

I've actually found a song online that can be played on repeat minus the squeky bit at start:



If you make a forum search you might just find some nice fuck tunes in one of the threads.angel7
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2011 8:25:41 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,511
Location: Cakeland, United States
JackFrosty wrote:
Also what would be a good 'fuck tune' ?


Bolero - Ravel. Although it worked great 30 yrs ago, I'm sure you won't even notice music playing in the background if you're both into the fucking.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Mistress_of_words
Posted: Thursday, May 12, 2011 6:27:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
I'm lost with all the Sashas. Sometimes I reckon I'm way too innocent for this site!

My advice, don't plan too much because things never go to plan, and if things start deviating from you plan (which unless your partner is an inflatable doll they almost certainly will) you don't want to go getting stressed that "this wasn't how it was supposed to go!"

Hopefully your first time will be with a girl you've gotten to know a bit first. Just talk to her. If she has more experience than you, make her feel amazing that she gets to have your virginity, she'll likely take the reigns a little and steer you round the curves. (Or is that just me? Embarassed)
If she's a virgin too, then just explore together and take it slow, she'll likely be twice as nervous as you anyway.

Guest
Posted: Friday, May 13, 2011 5:28:17 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,694
My one tip would be....try and feel comfortable, that is, try your hardest to relax.
If I could go back and change one thing I would unclench my fists to stop them turning white and bruising his shoulders. Eh, hindsight is 20/20.
The benefits - It'll last longer, it'll be more enjoyable and chances are you'll be more settled on the idea of round two.
In terms of music, go for something with a steady beat...doof, doof, doof.....no, not like that. Yet again nothing beats the sound of two sweat drenched bodies writhing together in the ultimate search for satisfaction......*ahem*
Luck!
XX
BB
freddy68
Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 1:35:16 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 10/9/2010
Posts: 1
Location: United Kingdom
take your time
talk to each other
get het to show you how and where she like to be touched
clum
Posted: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 4:39:31 AM

Rank: Clumeleon
Moderator

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 5,531
Location: Kirkcaldy, United Kingdom
Pay her a lot of attention, and just do what comes naturally.

I was terrified about sex when I was a virgin, but when the time came I just went on instinct and it went quite well (I got good reviews anyway, particularly about my tongue).

Don't over-think it.

She Just Wants To Be

Third place entry in the Toy With Me competition.
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