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Swollen
Posted: Friday, July 08, 2011 12:40:22 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,017
Location: United Kingdom
Could it be that reading some of the erotic stories on Lush, may lead to unrealistic expectations in our 'real' sex lives ?

Or, do you think you've learned from the stories, thus enhancing your 'real' life experiences ?

Just a thought whilst I'm having breakfast !!
coffee
Jingle
Posted: Friday, July 08, 2011 1:01:23 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2011
Posts: 164
Location: In my favourite blankey.
I think people who don't have clear or healthy boundaries might take some of the more 'extreme' stories to heart.

However, I believe that, generally speaking, people understand that writing is a creative outlet, and that while sometimes things look good on paper, they're unacceptable in real life. It's good to dream and let what's inside you out in a place where it can't hurt anyone. Letting stuff stagnate inside you causes cancer. :P

When it comes to stories that aren't so socially unacceptable, hopefully people can take away something that improves their own lives. It would be a shame and a crime if they didn't. Hopefully they find something that gives them the impetus to get out of their little box worlds and expand their playgrounds, or out of their little ruts and running through the fields again. :)

It all comes down to good judgement. Some people have it, some people are in the process of learning it.

If it's just physical expectations you're talking about, like how all the female characters have at least a C-cup and all the guys have dicks they could use to walk around on if ever they happened to lose a leg, then the same applies. Some people know it's not real and just enjoy the story anyways. Sadly, it does reinforce the idea that only beautiful people can be loved, be it loved emotionally or loved physically.

Maybe the next Lush contest should have 'small' as the theme - itty bitty titties and gerkins! Making something that's generally categorized as un-erotic would be a real challenge. :)

erectus_2011
Posted: Friday, July 08, 2011 3:35:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/7/2011
Posts: 197
Location: Delta of Venus
Erotica's aren't the most accurate portrayal of sex for either guys or girls, it's basically meant for the readers to use as a fantasy, so basically I don't think reading raunchy stories would enhances the expectations but surely it's fantasy food, a delight for minds
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 08, 2011 8:37:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,478
swollen wrote:
Could it be that reading some of the erotic stories on Lush, may lead to unrealistic expectations in our 'real' sex lives ?

Or, do you think you've learned from the stories, thus enhancing your 'real' life experiences ?

Just a thought whilst I'm having breakfast !!
coffee


I think those of a more sheltered background could get a bit lost between what's possible in the fantasy, and what's possible in real life.
Others will likely find something that has turned them on unexpectedly, and may be able to try it out in real life, safely I hope.

One thing that's a dead cert, if I think of Swollen over breakfast, I have lot's more cleaning up to do, you won't believe what she's taught me in here!
MindsEye
Posted: Saturday, July 09, 2011 9:09:59 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/14/2010
Posts: 83
Location: Canada
It's a really interesting question. When you go exploring you are bound to learn something new, the big question is do you have a partner that also has a curiousity? If not it could lead to disappointment as their interests lie in other pursuits than the pleasures of the flesh. While partners need not be compatable in all areas, one must have an open mind and sex is a biggie.
ATexGent
Posted: Saturday, July 09, 2011 7:00:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/23/2010
Posts: 103
Location: United States
I've pondered this a time or two, more like hundreds of times, over the years because I've been reading these types of stories for a long time. Yes, I'm older than a lot of you here but not dead. Nonetheless, erotica is more about fantasy in my opinion. Yes, some things that are written are true but some of the details and descriptions have been, shall we say, over blown for the sake of the story. There are times you can tell what's fact or fiction in the stories we read.

Yes, there are things to learn from these stories and I've always loved to apply or try new things I've learned. But that doesn't mean every time I have sex there's a story to be told. Also, when you've had that sexual that can be made a story, its fun to put it together and see if anyone else likes it.

Fantasies are great, aren't they? It's always interesting to read erotica because in truth, it's someone's mind that is telling the story, not their body or their looks. It's a mental thing...

It's All Good! :-)
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, July 18, 2011 2:01:45 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,553
Location: Your dirty fantasy
I don't see erotica as pure fantasy... I see it as pure 'potential' when you are with the right partner.

It also serves to highlight the importance of sexual compatibility between a couple... you can really push the boundaries and limits when you have the right connection and are similarly open-minded.



Guest
Posted: Monday, July 18, 2011 2:41:02 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,478
In my humble opinion the stories enhance real life experiences, although there is no way 99% of the story scenarios will ever play out. But when you write, you don't write about the mundane. You write about the exceptional!
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 28, 2011 1:40:04 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,478
if you read and enjoy within context it should be enhancing in your sex life....it is more about fantasy than reality...I may fantasize about getting gangbanged but in reality I doubt I would do it...but the idea sure excites me...leading to other pleasures
Buz
Posted: Friday, September 23, 2011 7:29:44 PM

Rank: The Linebacker
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Posts: 7,139
Location: Atlanta, United States
Some authors write stories that are based on their own experiences or those of someone they do know, some are just fantasy, some are actual stories. Have expectations that are aspirations. Experiment! Make your sex life absolutely great! The best way is to find a partner with whom you can push your sex life to its maximum.

Guest
Posted: Friday, September 23, 2011 8:46:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,478
i totally found enhancement in my real sex life from lush for a really long time. Go Lush!
Guest
Posted: Saturday, September 24, 2011 4:13:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,478
a little of both for me. but I think if anything, the porn industry is to blame for unrealistic sexual expectations. although, you can also gain some sexual knowledge and tips from watching it.
Guest
Posted: Monday, September 26, 2011 12:05:27 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,478
I suppose like anything; we each have our expectations ...as we each also have our limitations. And although we might consider something we have seen, read or heard, I wonder if it would create unrealistic expectations??!
I suppose it would depend largely on the limitations our partners have or have set and whether or not that would impact on our "expectations" ...and if that were the case; would it be unreasonable to conclude that we then choose partners for sexual gratification alone?

I think not! ...my personal opinion.
stephanie
Posted: Thursday, October 20, 2011 5:10:48 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,335
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland

I think, and this is certainly true of my own writing, that the Writer frequently doesn't DELIBERATELY put themselves in the story, but very often, when it's finished, they'll find themselves in there anyway....

Writing Erotica is a great way to explore things you find sexually interesting/intriguing/stimulating but that you wouldn't actually ever do in real life...

For example, I really like Wife Lover stories where the guy watches his wife with someone else... Now I'd NEVER actually want to DO that, but the idea has a weird (masochistic???) appeal... I've mentioned to lovers in the past that it's an IDEA that turns me on and been rather confused when they interpret this as my being uncommitted to the idea of faithful monogamy, WHICH I'M NOT!!!!! (Several girls have said the idea of my being with someone else makes them physically ill, so "How can you get off on the idea of me fucking someone else???")

Well, the simple answer is that I don't know.... But I sometimes do get off on thinking about it.... You beautiful little slut... dontknow

Interestingly, a lot of the women I date are writers, and those that aren't tend to share my interest in reading. When they read MY STORIES they're perfectly happy to think of those as pure fiction and indeed, several of my ladies have confessed to, shall we say, using my stories in the spirit in which they are written!!!!!

But, fundamentally, I write to get myself and my readers off! I read for the same reason. I write about things I've done, I write about things I'd never/couldn't/wouldn't want to do.....

I have only ONE expectation when I write/read a story..... I expect that it will turn me on.

(And if experience is anything to go by, I've found the right place!!!)

xx SF

"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
debraboudreau
Posted: Saturday, October 22, 2011 12:36:55 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 9/20/2011
Posts: 1
Big Hugs I was married 26 years and my sex life was never what I thought it should be. I realize that people have different levels of drive.
And there sex expectation is different

for more detail visit...






Here is a link to the single person section of the main online dating site.




WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, October 22, 2011 9:34:56 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,451
Location: Cakeland, United States
debraboudreau wrote:
Big Hugs I was married 26 years and my sex life was never what I thought it should be. I realize that people have different levels of drive.
And there sex expectation is different

for more detail visit...



I saw what you did there



If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
BelleduJour
Posted: Sunday, September 23, 2012 12:43:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,507
Location: Canada
Hmm perhaps a bit of both. I think there is potential for some of the stories and scenarios that are played out in erotica to set one up for a bit of disappointment but at the same time, I think it also has tremendous potential to dramatically enhance one's sexual experiences. I think the key factors in how either of these scenarios play out is how open and willing your partner(s) is and especially how open and willing YOU are.

1ball
Posted: Sunday, September 23, 2012 3:34:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 970
Location: United States
Some people are just prone to being dissatisfied, so when they view porn or read stories, they become prone to blaming their partner for the fact that their sex life doesn't match up with their ideal. They might even be tempted to go looking for better. But in general, people are realistic enough to understand that better is the enemy of good enough and that what they can learn from erotica is useful for helping them get to good enough.

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
Poppet
Posted: Saturday, October 20, 2012 4:43:48 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,516
Location: On A Wishing Star, United States
I haven't had an issue with having high expectations after watching porn, or reading stories then having sex. I think as long as both parties are open minded and willing to try new things it's always going to be fun. I know that a lot of stories aren't true. Or sugar coated to make readers want to keep reading when a lot of them are not close to being true. Even the ones that are written from real life experiences. I like the true real stories. Something that makes me tingle knowing it actually happen! Nothing over the top.


Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ You Inspire Me Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
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