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Pixie
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2008 11:46:57 AM

Rank: Flutterby Pharie

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,980
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
Why, Why, Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money???

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And? A FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
nicola
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2008 12:38:57 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,664
Location: United Kingdom
I always wondered that about Tarzan too.

Funny stuff Pixie laughing9
Hourglass
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2008 3:53:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/12/2008
Posts: 90
:( i think i'm simply too logical to get them...
i laughed, but i also know a lot of the answers...
presuming you enjoy having questions, so unless you want me to, i shant answer them.

*~*xX/ ;) i'm not joking/Xx*~*
Guest
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2008 4:33:34 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,998
Wife does that with the remote. Drives me up the wall.
Batman
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2008 6:48:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/9/2008
Posts: 1,909
Rocco, the wife drives you up the wall smoking a cig.

And Tarzan, Y doesn't his loin cloth every rise when Janes around? Ummmmmm?
KnightOfPassion
Posted: Friday, January 18, 2008 2:41:28 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 48
Instant conspiracy theory: answer each question with either "the CIA", "the Bavarian Illuminati", or "the Knights Templar".

Quote:
"How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?"
"The CIA."
"Oooooooh."


Knight Of Passion: The Man, The Legend, The Blog - and now, The Podcast!
Pixie
Posted: Friday, January 18, 2008 6:27:57 AM

Rank: Flutterby Pharie

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,980
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
I have a friend that sends me all this crazy stuff! LOL I actually have a really funny "story" type joke, but it has pictures and I am not sure if they would post on here the right way. If you think they would work, let me know!

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
nicola
Posted: Friday, January 18, 2008 2:02:15 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,664
Location: United Kingdom
Pixie wrote:
I have a friend that sends me all this crazy stuff! LOL I actually have a really funny "story" type joke, but it has pictures and I am not sure if they would post on here the right way. If you think they would work, let me know!


Give it a try Pixie, I can help out - if the pics can't be hotlinked from a site, you should upload them to imageshack.us first, and then include them in your post that way icon_smile
fystee
Posted: Saturday, January 19, 2008 1:19:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/28/2007
Posts: 1,285
Location: tied up somewhere
post it...lol... I am curious.
Curious2c
Posted: Saturday, January 19, 2008 5:20:31 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,998
fystee wrote:
post it...lol... I am curious.



No you're not. I'm curious.





L16
AutumnNymph
Posted: Saturday, January 19, 2008 8:09:27 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/10/2008
Posts: 60
KnightOfPassion wrote:
Instant conspiracy theory: answer each question with either "the CIA", "the Bavarian Illuminati", or "the Knights Templar".

Quote:
"How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?"
"The CIA."
"Oooooooh."


Quote:
"How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?"
"The Knights Templar."
"Oh my."


The naughtiest Nymph this side of the forest.
Last submitted a story: March 12, 2008
KnightOfPassion
Posted: Sunday, January 20, 2008 7:37:55 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 48
AutumnNymph wrote:
Quote:
"How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?"
"The Knights Templar."
"Oh my."


And that's how Dan Brown got the idea for his new book.

evil4

Knight Of Passion: The Man, The Legend, The Blog - and now, The Podcast!
thesorrow07
Posted: Sunday, January 20, 2008 1:33:13 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/20/2008
Posts: 2
KnightOfPassion wrote:
AutumnNymph wrote:
Quote:
"How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?"
"The Knights Templar."
"Oh my."


And that's how Dan Brown got the idea for his new book.

evil4
Lmao. Good one.
Shaman
Posted: Saturday, July 19, 2014 9:33:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/5/2013
Posts: 508
Location: In a Galaxy far far away, United States
why do we always press an elevator button after seeing someone else press it ?
DanielleX
Posted: Saturday, July 19, 2014 1:36:43 PM

Rank: Blonde Bombshell
Moderator

Joined: 11/6/2011
Posts: 3,163
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
Pixie wrote:
Why, Why, Why?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?



I can answer two of these, from my recent studies.

People did not evolve from apes, humans and apes share a common ancestor. So, we're evolving and apes are evolving together. Our common ancestor is a monkey that lived millions of years ago.

Bubbles are only white for a split second, they then absorb and emit electromagnetic radiation at different wavelengths of visible light, until all the different colours cancel each other out, until the bubble turns black and bursts. I think that's right. We did it at college last year when I did my course in physics.

Danny xxx


Jonathans_Fantasies
Posted: Sunday, August 31, 2014 6:59:48 AM

Rank: Gentleman Master

Joined: 3/6/2013
Posts: 1,967
Location: God's Deep Freezer, United States
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

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katlover1975
Posted: Sunday, August 31, 2014 7:58:41 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/16/2014
Posts: 22
Location: Sacramento, United States
Why do houses burn down and cars burn up?

If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn't the plural of house "hice"? Ox - oxen.....so, box - boxen?
Jonathans_Fantasies
Posted: Monday, September 01, 2014 4:44:54 AM

Rank: Gentleman Master

Joined: 3/6/2013
Posts: 1,967
Location: God's Deep Freezer, United States
Why when I am looking for something, do I have to go through every damn drawer, cabinet, closet, and cupboard to find it!

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SheriPie
Posted: Monday, September 01, 2014 11:19:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/23/2012
Posts: 11,182
Location: I\'ve Got My Coffee, United States
MasterJonathan wrote:
Why when I am looking for something, do I have to go through every damn drawer, cabinet, closet, and cupboard to find it!

That is because it is always in the last place you look!


Why when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn the volume down on the radio?

Guest
Posted: Monday, September 01, 2014 7:23:16 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,998
Why did that woman stand in line with her 35 children looking at the menu for juice and then when she is front of the line look more. 5 items. CHOOSE. Why did she call over friends? 12 people behind you don't matter. Had to ask about every item. Why?
Jonathans_Fantasies
Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2014 2:55:18 AM

Rank: Gentleman Master

Joined: 3/6/2013
Posts: 1,967
Location: God's Deep Freezer, United States
Why is it you go to a store that has 15 registers but they only have two or three people working? Do they really need that many back up registers?

Banner below is a clickable link!
KatieElizabeth
Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2014 4:02:35 AM

Rank: English Rose
Moderator

Joined: 10/5/2013
Posts: 1,087
Location: My own sunny little spot, United Kingdom
Pixie wrote:
Why, Why, Why?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?



Kallmann's Syndrome maybe?

Kallmann’s syndrome is a disorder in which the affected person does not, either partially or at all, experience puberty. Kallmann’s syndrome primarily affects men, but women can be affected as well. While the symptoms of Kallmann’s syndrome can vary, they can include a lack of growth of facial hair in men Think


Check out my new award winning Editor's Pick story ..The Last Virgin..

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BiMale73
Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2014 10:13:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/4/2013
Posts: 1,183
Location: Basement
Pixie wrote:
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

We are apes, that's why.

William Thompson Designed the Confederate Flag Explicitly as a Racist Symbol
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