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I have a predicament and need serious advice Options · View
riverstudd
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 1:28:22 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/2/2011
Posts: 16
OK, so I've had a confusing last year and a half of my life and it has come up with some serious issues i need help with. It's about relationships so if you don't want to get into that i would back out now. it will get super serious.

To start it all off i need to go back a year and a half. So i met this girl a year and a half ago, lets name her Abbi because it starts with A.

So me and Abbi immediately hit it off and become best friends. We grew really close and it was somewhat like we could start something physically, and become some sort of relationship. but that didn't happen. Another girl was in the picture, lets call her Becky.

Now me and Becky also started getting really close really quick but it was obvious it was going to be a physical relationship and not just a friend thing. Well me and Becky became physical as me and Abbi became best friends. Me and Becky became official and i immediately pushed all thoughts of Abbi out as far as something more than friends, and literally became as best of friends as you can get.

Now about a year passed and she met a girl and decided she wanted to date her so i helped her through coming out to everyone else. it was a good time, me and Becky were golden and Abbi met Candy (3rd girl in all this) and they were perfect. Now because i was so close to Abbi i became equally as close with Candy.

At the end of the year or so time frame me and Becky broke up. And when i finally moved on Becky and Candy and I became closer than ever. So close that they began to call me their boyfriend and it became a three way relationship essentially. now don't get me wrong its nice but it sucks because i am in love with Abbi.

There have been signs that she likes me more than just friends but i cant tell completely. Now i don't think i could ever say anything or do anything while Abbi and Candy are dating but its always been rough for them and I've been the one to keep them together. I've had chances to end their relationship but I wont ever do it and will always help both of them stay together.

So basically what do i do. I think there could be feelings between us but i also think her side is somewhat mitigated because she is in her relationship. could that be? am i just screwed? is this as wierd of a situation as i think it is?
AGreyFoxxx
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 4:05:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/20/2011
Posts: 224
Location: In your panties, ladies!, United States
Since you are close to both of them it makes it somewhat complicated, but if, as you say, you have helped them both to remain together, then i would back off. Let nature take its course. it may cost you a friendship with Candy, but if its Abbi you want, then it can't be helped. Don't take an active part in the relationships destruction. That would be mean! And you don't come across as mean and selfish.

But first, you need to find out if Abbi feels the same way you do. If she doesn't want to take your friendship to the next level, then why screw up what she's got? Then both of you are alone, and that would really suck!
nicola
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 5:15:07 AM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,556
Location: United Kingdom
All the details in one paragraph, I got lost and couldn't follow who was supposedly going out with who.

Sorry, it reads like a fantasy made up story.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 5:26:31 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,952
nicola wrote:
All the details in one paragraph, I got lost and couldn't follow who was supposedly going out with who.

Sorry, it reads like a fantasy made up story.


The enter key would have been useful to split it up a bit, no? angry7 My head hurts after trying to make sense of that.
Dudealicious
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 7:11:14 AM

Rank: Wise Ass
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Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,536
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Quote:
At the end of the year or so time frame me and Becky broke up. And when i finally moved on Becky and Candy and I became closer than ever. So close that they began to call me their boyfriend


Ummm so you break up with Becky, but then all of a sudden you are closer than ever with Becky and Candy? Where the fuck did Abby go? Geezus you are a playa!
Hmmmmm methinks me smell something wrong here...

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

ForbiddenEden
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 7:46:40 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/6/2011
Posts: 63
Location: Ask & maybe I'll tell you
Sounds like a lot of drama & while you think she might be worth it, honestly if she wanted to be with you she probably would. Or you'd at least know. Here's the worst part, in most male-female friendships one person has feelings for the other and usually its not reciprocated, that's why they don't work. Good luck hope everything works out.
scooter
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 7:50:59 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Would Becky and Candy be looking for a new third wheel!
Dudealicious
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 7:54:47 AM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,536
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
scooter wrote:
Would Becky and Candy be looking for a new third wheel!


Oh Scooter you would be more man than they would ever be able to handle!

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 8:58:21 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,487
Location: Cakeland, United States
nicola wrote:
All the details in one paragraph, I got lost and couldn't follow who was supposedly going out with who.

Sorry, it reads like a fantasy made up story.


And a bad one, at that. d'oh!

The wall of babbling text offended my sensibilities this morning.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
clum
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 9:04:02 AM

Rank: Clumeleon
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Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 5,368
Location: Kirkcaldy, United Kingdom
I don't think there's much you can do. Stop being the saviour of their relationship (be a little selfish once in a while) but don't actively sabotage it. Be a friend to them both and hope that things work out for you. If they don't, then you move on and try to love again.

In the meantime, maybe give yourself some distance from the girls. Start dating again, hang out with other friends sometimes. Putting yourself constantly in that situation is only torturing yourself.

Best of luck to all three of you (and Becky as well, I guess). And for the sake of other Lushies, learn to use paragraphs.



She Just Wants To Be

Third place entry in the Toy With Me competition.
kochankatulipan
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 1:11:22 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/11/2011
Posts: 148
I have always believed that most problems in relationships happen because people are not honest and open with each other. You need to speak with all three of the girls (either together or individually) and tell them how you feel. Of course there is no guarantee that it will turn out in your favour but you (and they) will know where you stand. I've had to do this in a slightly less complicated situation and the outcome was that we ended up going our separate ways. But I knew that, if we had not been open and honest with each other, the realtionship, such as it was, would not have been what either of us were looking for.

Good luck.

K
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 2:00:27 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
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Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,692
Location: Your dirty fantasy
You are in the friend-zone. And the girl you are chasing is gay.

Any fondness or cute-flirty comments she makes to you are purely in jest and part of your friendship. Do not read into them or try to decode things that aren't there.

If a girl is into you, it will become very obvious.

Be a buddy to all of them (as you have been in the past) and move on to the next letter of the alphabet. thumbup



sprite
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 2:07:18 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
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Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 17,256
Location: My Tower, United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:
You are in the friend-zone. And the girl you are chasing is gay.

Any fondness or cute-flirty comments she makes to you are purely in jest and part of your friendship. Do not read into them or try to decode things that aren't there.

If a girl is into you, it will become very obvious.

Be a buddy to all of them (as you have been in the past) and move on to the next letter of the alphabet. thumbup



what Doll said. For the record, i've been Candi to my wife's Abbi. Be satisfied with what Abbi is willing to give you and don't push her for more. If that includes her inviting you over for the occasional 3some, go for it, but don't think it's cause she's in love with you - she's probably just looking for good times and she feels comfortable with you over a stranger. :)

Live, love, laugh.
riverstudd
Posted: Sunday, August 07, 2011 8:23:38 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/2/2011
Posts: 16
I'm not pushing and won't ever, unless they decide its over. ill always help them be together and work out their problems. also i should say there have been moments with her since my break up a while ago. we have kissed, semi made out. have danced a lot, and were seriously close so i sleep over at her place all the time, just me and her. Sorry if my story was long and really hard to read.
Buz
Posted: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 8:35:49 PM

Rank: The Linebacker
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Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 7,853
Location: Atlanta, United States
Ride it for awhile dude but it will not last.

riverstudd
Posted: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 9:53:43 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/2/2011
Posts: 16
Thanks for the help everyone. i said screw it and talked to them. Now im their man fuck buddy and its all good, ill see where this goes and deal with it in the future i guess
Dudealicious
Posted: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 9:58:30 PM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,536
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
riverstudd wrote:
Thanks for the help everyone. i said screw it and talked to them. Now im their man fuck buddy and its all good, ill see where this goes and deal with it in the future i guess


One of your last perceived posts
Quote:
Hey I'm suffering from c.c.d(chronic confidence deficiency) and have a case of s.r.s(severe rejection syndrome). How can I get confidence and avoid being rejected?


Now you are a fuck buddy to two women... yeah umm ok!

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Nikki703
Posted: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 11:19:59 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 13,898
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
Dancing_Doll wrote:
You are in the friend-zone. And the girl you are chasing is gay.

Any fondness or cute-flirty comments she makes to you are purely in jest and part of your friendship. Do not read into them or try to decode things that aren't there.

If a girl is into you, it will become very obvious.

Be a buddy to all of them (as you have been in the past) and move on to the next letter of the alphabet. thumbup



Hey Doll, The Next Letter Would Be "D"!! Just Saying!! LOL
Nikki703
Posted: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 11:25:39 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 13,898
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
sprite wrote:
Dancing_Doll wrote:
You are in the friend-zone. And the girl you are chasing is gay.

Any fondness or cute-flirty comments she makes to you are purely in jest and part of your friendship. Do not read into them or try to decode things that aren't there.

If a girl is into you, it will become very obvious.

Be a buddy to all of them (as you have been in the past) and move on to the next letter of the alphabet. thumbup



what Doll said. For the record, i've been Candi to my wife's Abbi. Be satisfied with what Abbi is willing to give you and don't push her for more. If that includes her inviting you over for the occasional 3some, go for it, but don't think it's cause she's in love with you - she's probably just looking for good times and she feels comfortable with you over a stranger. :)


I totally agree with Sprite, oh excuse me, Her Royal Spriteness!! Me and my GF occaisionally will have a threesome with a guy friend but it is just sex, nothing more. We try to make that clear upfront. We both love men too but Ann is my true soulmate.
riverstudd
Posted: Thursday, August 11, 2011 12:59:45 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/2/2011
Posts: 16
Dudealicious wrote:
riverstudd wrote:
Thanks for the help everyone. i said screw it and talked to them. Now im their man fuck buddy and its all good, ill see where this goes and deal with it in the future i guess


One of your last perceived posts
Quote:
Hey I'm suffering from c.c.d(chronic confidence deficiency) and have a case of s.r.s(severe rejection syndrome). How can I get confidence and avoid being rejected?


Now you are a fuck buddy to two women... yeah umm ok!


What are you saying? If you have a problem you can mind your own business. I asked for help cause i needed to let it all out to someone, why not a bunch of people that will never judge me face to face? Grow the hell up and stop judging people on the internet. Nobody likes an asshole like you
sprite
Posted: Thursday, August 11, 2011 1:35:18 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 17,256
Location: My Tower, United States
Nikki703 wrote:

Me and my GF occaisionally will have a threesome with a guy friend but it is just sex, nothing more. We try to make that clear upfront. We both love men too but Ann is my true soulmate.


just when i thought it wasn't possible to love you even more! *giggles* ask me about our Dancer Friend sometime... *blushes* <3

Live, love, laugh.
PrettyMom
Posted: Sunday, September 04, 2011 12:45:04 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/13/2011
Posts: 300
Location: Eastern PA, United States
If you have been keeping them together then there is something seriously wrong in their relationship and you need to stop enabling them. Even now that you're more involved you shouldn't be the one keeping them together. There is a big difference between being supportive and enabling a toxic relationship. Just make sure you're being supportive and not enabling, especially now because if it goes bad you don't want to be blamed.
Bellayan21
Posted: Monday, September 05, 2011 9:52:36 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 6/24/2011
Posts: 12
What you ended up deciding was the best option. But snapping on someone for giving their opinion on this site isn't very "grown up" either. Just ignore people you don't agree with. Cussing or shouting at them through text is not a good response. I'm not perfect but this is a fantasy site. You can't expect everyone to say good things about you or your situation. Lord knows I've had many do the same to me.

I'm a str8 forward, spicy and ruthless kuntry gal, think you can handle me?
Pasqi
Posted: Tuesday, September 06, 2011 4:53:03 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/13/2010
Posts: 77
Location: Canada
Dudealicious wrote:
riverstudd wrote:
Thanks for the help everyone. i said screw it and talked to them. Now im their man fuck buddy and its all good, ill see where this goes and deal with it in the future i guess


One of your last perceived posts
Quote:
Hey I'm suffering from c.c.d(chronic confidence deficiency) and have a case of s.r.s(severe rejection syndrome). How can I get confidence and avoid being rejected?


Now you are a fuck buddy to two women... yeah umm ok!


Gotta agree, reading through this it seems

B.)either made up

Or

B.) Partially made up

I have to also agree with Dancing Doll and Sprite I myself was in the boat you first described of being abbi's best friend. Then she came out and it showed that her feelings which made it seem like we had something just was as friends. I had to learn that there would never be anything there.

For the record we are still great friends, but I know nothing will ever happen but if it did would be a one time thing... You can't force what isn't there.

You may be their Fuck buddy but if so that's it. So better break your own heart now before you start thinking they see you as more.
dontknow
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