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cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 8:49:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 169
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
loud_bkr wrote:
cokeheadbarbie, I have the money to pay for all the drinks and dinner, but it would be nice now and then for the lady to pay for a few things. If not I might get the impression that all she is after is my money and taking advantage of me, who wants a lady like that in ones life!

In a relationship things should be equal, and by that I mean everything. I can do the laundry, cleaning, sewing and most of the cooking and I would expect her to be equal on the financial side as well by paying for some things.

latinfoxy is right about "I think theres a HUGE middle ground between a deadbeat and a guy that is comfortable enough in there own skin to let a girl reach for her own wallet to pay for somethings!. " It show she cares and isn't just after money.

cokeheadbarbie, another thought could be, why does he need to buy you a drink at the club, will he get something in return?
If I have to pay for EVERYTHING then I damn well will expect something in return!! Nothing is for FREE!


well I have not a problem pampering my man in the bedroom and doing anything he could ever want. If hes taking care of me then he is my King and that means that I will take care of all the household keys like being his Queen in Bed! and making sure the hired help keeps the place spotless and his shirts pressed and our parties are perfectly planned. He would not lift a finger with a girl like me. When he takes care of me then I take care of him. Your right coz fair is fair! 3601

xx B.
scooter
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 9:24:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
In a perfect world, men typically shower the woman of their fancy with gifts of all sorts.
And it is a beautiful thing.

I recall a 4 day binge I enjoyed 3 years ago,
It was a perfect long weekend over on the islands right here in the not so glamorous state Of Ohio.
But the beer was cold, the women were hot, and the men felt like partying.
After the third night, I came to the realization that I had blown over a few thousand dollars some how, and had yet another night to go, plus I wasn't quite done drinking yet.
The crowd had changed, and many folks I had bought several drinks for were no longer in the bar.
I was one happy camper when a sexy blond approached me with a drink, and she continued to buy for a good while.
One buy one, guys, and girls alike, started buying. Some I recognised from the previous eve's, some I didn't.
I had a great time regardless, and still felt like a man the next morning. Hung over of course.
When I party, I try an make sure a good time is had by all.
And All one can hope for, is to be in good company with folks of similar ideals, men, or women.
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 9:29:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 169
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
scooter wrote:
In a perfect world, men typically shower the woman of their fancy with gifts of all sorts.
And it is a beautiful thing.

I recall a 4 day binge I enjoyed 3 years ago,
It was a perfect long weekend over on the islands right here in the not so glamorous state Of Ohio.
But the beer was cold, the women were hot, and the men felt like partying.
After the third night, I came to the realization that I had blown over a few thousand dollars some how, and had yet another night to go, plus I wasn't quite done drinking yet.
The crowd had changed, and many folks I had bought several drinks for were no longer in the bar.
I was one happy camper when a sexy blond approached me with a drink, and she continued to buy for a good while.
One buy one, guys, and girls alike, started buying. Some I recognised from the previous eve's, some I didn't.
I had a great time regardless, and still felt like a man the next morning. Hung over of course.
When I party, I try an make sure a good time is had by all.
And All one can hope for, is to be in good company with folks of similar ideals, men, or women.


Thats true! Its actually best when a couple of guys get the VIP bottle service so everyone could enjoy and not worry about covering round for round.

Sound like it was wicked fun Scooter! Pour Wine

xx B.
DirtyMartini
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 9:50:33 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,903
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Here we go...check out this thread as well...

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst12323_Who-Pays.aspx

I think I agree with Stephanie here and Dancing Doll there...or something like that...



You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

lkitbig
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 9:54:05 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/28/2010
Posts: 94
Location: all over the map
In response to Barbie above.... you've found a girl who doesn't need or want anyone to pay the way for her... ME. and no, I dont even secretly want it - yes, I like pretty things and I don't feel guilty about that. I like pretty things, men like other things - each to their own. But the bottom line is - I can pay my own way and yes, even treat myself to my own pretty things. And on an above comment about people not wanting to work hard - you've found another who doesn't agree with that because I do work hard and I work hard because I want to and I love it. I didnt get my education and work my way through my career chain for the ability to buy flashy things or wave a big pay check in front of anybody or even for status. Its just something that happened for me while I've spent years doing what I love. I realize you geared all that towards a man's purpose for doing things but I'd like to give most successful men out there the benefit of the doubt and say they all do what they do for the same reason I do what I do. I have a hard time believing that all men out there that work their asses off and have luxuries in life only do it to impress and buy drinks for hot girls. There's so much more to having self satisfaction and contentment then impressing people with drinks and pretty things.

Now don't get me a wrong - a guy to pay for something on a date or even do something thoughtful for me (whether it involves a cost for him or not) is appreciated, but a guy who spends like crazy and pays for it all can send the message that he views his money and his ability to spend it on a girl as his greatest asset and quite frankly, that's hardly the greatest asset of a man. A guy who can treat graciously, yet a appreciate when i want to treat graciously is so much more of a man.

Relationships require give and take from both sides therefore both sides should be take their turns of giving (willingingly) and taking (appreciatively). I cant speak for all women but I'm sure there are plenty out there who would agree with me that there is degree of satisfaction that comes with taking your turn and being the one to "treat" - it's a simple gesture that speaks to the other in the relationship that you are willing to give as well.

An ending thought..... When a man treats me it doesn't have to be with the "pink convertibles and horse ranches and fancy things".... something far less bright and shiny with a much smaller cost that has some element of personal meaning to it is much more appreciated then the shiny expensive things anyway - and no a man that treats like this isn't a deadbeat and no I'm not interested in a deadbeat.... and NO I'm not scared of sounding shallow or materialistic buy saying so ....

and I'm out because I do believe I've maxed out my 2 cents here!
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 11:03:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
cokeheadbarbie wrote:


Its true you might not need it but every girl secretly wants it. Look at all the fairytales we grew up in. Inside every girl is a hope that her Prince will ride in on a white Aston Martin and offer up the kingdom to her. Giggles.

Even notice how Barbie always had pink convertables and horse ranches and fancy things? you never saw a kid wish they could play with trailer park barbie right? Giggles.

Girls like pretty things. But now we've been forced to feel guilty about it and sign prenuptial agreements because of feminism. Its tragic tho, we are messing it up for ourselves in the end.

Too steps forward, three step back when you look at it criticly imo.


I'm sorry, but I think it's positively ridiculous for one to say that every girl is like this or like that. We may be of the same gender, but we are ALL individuals.

I have nothing against a guy buying me a little something...but I'd rather have something useful than a 'pretty thing' that will inevitably sit there and collect dust after it's 5 minutes of fame in my life.

And if he even THOUGHT about buying me something big like a car I would turn around and run in the opposite direction. Being bought things (and accepting them) is almost like being in debt to someone. So if he buys me a car - what does he expect from me?

Taking it into a more general situation where it is easier to relate too... I have a rich parent who tries to buy me off by offering me the likes of a car, a new flashy laptop, etc etc....I'm not going to accept that because if I did they'd expect something from me. Of course this is not true of every person (man).

But look - if a guy is buying me stuff all the time, it loses it's SENTIMENTAL value...it's like being told 'I love you' 20 times a day, or being complimented over and over again. I'd rather by told 'I love you' once a day sincerely...or be complimented when he really means it, it's the same difference.

The point you're missing is that even if we have nothing against the odd present....PERSONALITY is more important to some of us. As I've said before, I'll take a good guy with a lovely personality over a man I don't like much about apart from his bank balance.

Furthermore there are loads of reasons someone might not be rolling in money even if they've been working hard to be successful....buying a new house, paying for a holiday, etc etc...all reasons why someone might not have a lot of money to spare.

I don't want a guy that sits at home all day on the sofa with no motivation to get up off his ass and do something with his life....but neither do I need some rich bloke floating about in my life trying to buy me off.

As was said above....there is a middle ground.

WorkAlone
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 12:14:05 PM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
LittleBambi wrote:
cokeheadbarbie wrote:


Its true you might not need it but every girl secretly wants it. Look at all the fairytales we grew up in. Inside every girl is a hope that her Prince will ride in on a white Aston Martin and offer up the kingdom to her. Giggles.

Even notice how Barbie always had pink convertables and horse ranches and fancy things? you never saw a kid wish they could play with trailer park barbie right? Giggles.

Girls like pretty things. But now we've been forced to feel guilty about it and sign prenuptial agreements because of feminism. Its tragic tho, we are messing it up for ourselves in the end.

Too steps forward, three step back when you look at it criticly imo.


I'm sorry, but I think it's positively ridiculous for one to say that every girl is like this or like that. We may be of the same gender, but we are ALL individuals.

I have nothing against a guy buying me a little something...but I'd rather have something useful than a 'pretty thing' that will inevitably sit there and collect dust after it's 5 minutes of fame in my life.

And if he even THOUGHT about buying me something big like a car I would turn around and run in the opposite direction. Being bought things (and accepting them) is almost like being in debt to someone. So if he buys me a car - what does he expect from me?

Taking it into a more general situation where it is easier to relate too... I have a rich parent who tries to buy me off by offering me the likes of a car, a new flashy laptop, etc etc....I'm not going to accept that because if I did they'd expect something from me. Of course this is not true of every person (man).

But look - if a guy is buying me stuff all the time, it loses it's SENTIMENTAL value...it's like being told 'I love you' 20 times a day, or being complimented over and over again. I'd rather by told 'I love you' once a day sincerely...or be complimented when he really means it, it's the same difference.

The point you're missing is that even if we have nothing against the odd present....PERSONALITY is more important to some of us. As I've said before, I'll take a good guy with a lovely personality over a man I don't like much about apart from his bank balance.

Furthermore there are loads of reasons someone might not be rolling in money even if they've been working hard to be successful....buying a new house, paying for a holiday, etc etc...all reasons why someone might not have a lot of money to spare.

I don't want a guy that sits at home all day on the sofa with no motivation to get up off his ass and do something with his life....but neither do I need some rich bloke floating about in my life trying to buy me off.

As was said above....there is a middle ground.



Thank you Bambi. From the heart of the middle ground to you....my deepest thank yous for being a real person. ;)
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2011 12:58:31 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 169
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
LittleBambi wrote:


And if he even THOUGHT about buying me something big like a car I would turn around and run in the opposite direction.


What??! Lfunny


LittleBambi wrote:

Being bought things (and accepting them) is almost like being in debt to someone. So if he buys me a car - what does he expect from me?


what would he expect from you that you wouldnt be willing to give? He is your boyfrend no? Would you not be shagging him anyway? or are you thinking of something more pervy like hes bought you the new wheels in exchange for a seedy weekend involving a polaroid and tossing his salad. In that case then okay get the facts up front (agree!).

Girlfriend... never reject a gift from your man. Its a bit rude when maybe all he wants to do is spoil you a bit coz he loves you. Its not good to be so suspicious. This poor bloke will worry about getting chucked because he might massively offend you by buying you posh gifts or telling you that your beautiful or that he loves you too often. No wonder men are so confused all time time and think we all want jerks. Giggles.

There is a middle ground (agree!) but if your dating a multi-millionaire wouldnt you be the teensiest bit pissed off if it was your milestone birthday and all he bought you was a £20.00 jumper from TopShop?

I know personality is important and I didnt say that you shud just get a rich man who is a total snore but set your sights high enough to have it all!

Maybe I am a Princess but I have no problem accepting love, compliments, drinks at the club or posh presents coz I know I'm worth it! 3601

loud_bkr
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 3:45:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2011
Posts: 5,806
Location: Fuct if I know
LittleBambi wrote:

I'm sorry, but I think it's positively ridiculous for one to say that every girl is like this or like that. We may be of the same gender, but we are ALL individuals.

I have nothing against a guy buying me a little something...but I'd rather have something useful than a 'pretty thing' that will inevitably sit there and collect dust after it's 5 minutes of fame in my life.

And if he even THOUGHT about buying me something big like a car I would turn around and run in the opposite direction. Being bought things (and accepting them) is almost like being in debt to someone. So if he buys me a car - what does he expect from me?

Taking it into a more general situation where it is easier to relate too... I have a rich parent who tries to buy me off by offering me the likes of a car, a new flashy laptop, etc etc....I'm not going to accept that because if I did they'd expect something from me. Of course this is not true of every person (man).

But look - if a guy is buying me stuff all the time, it loses it's SENTIMENTAL value...it's like being told 'I love you' 20 times a day, or being complimented over and over again. I'd rather by told 'I love you' once a day sincerely...or be complimented when he really means it, it's the same difference.

The point you're missing is that even if we have nothing against the odd present....PERSONALITY is more important to some of us. As I've said before, I'll take a good guy with a lovely personality over a man I don't like much about apart from his bank balance.

Furthermore there are loads of reasons someone might not be rolling in money even if they've been working hard to be successful....buying a new house, paying for a holiday, etc etc...all reasons why someone might not have a lot of money to spare.

I don't want a guy that sits at home all day on the sofa with no motivation to get up off his ass and do something with his life....but neither do I need some rich bloke floating about in my life trying to buy me off.

As was said above....there is a middle ground.




That is a great response LittleBambi, exactly what I would like a lady to answer....WELL DONE!!


WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 8:57:06 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States
lkitbig wrote:
you've found a girl who doesn't need or want anyone to pay the way for her...
An ending thought..... When a man treats me it doesn't have to be with the "pink convertibles and horse ranches and fancy things".... something far less bright and shiny with a much smaller cost that has some element of personal meaning to it is much more appreciated then the shiny expensive things anyway - and no a man that treats like this isn't a deadbeat and no I'm not interested in a deadbeat.... and NO I'm not scared of sounding shallow or materialistic buy saying so ....

and I'm out because I do believe I've maxed out my 2 cents here!


You've made way too much sense with your thoughtful remarks. This thread demands flippancy! Anxious

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 9:19:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 169
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
lkitbig wrote:
In response to Barbie above.... you've found a girl who doesn't need or want anyone to pay the way for her... ME. and no, I dont even secretly want it - yes, I like pretty things and I don't feel guilty about that. I like pretty things, men like other things - each to their own. But the bottom line is - I can pay my own way and yes, even treat myself to my own pretty things. And on an above comment about people not wanting to work hard - you've found another who doesn't agree with that because I do work hard and I work hard because I want to and I love it. I didnt get my education and work my way through my career chain for the ability to buy flashy things or wave a big pay check in front of anybody or even for status. Its just something that happened for me while I've spent years doing what I love. I realize you geared all that towards a man's purpose for doing things but I'd like to give most successful men out there the benefit of the doubt and say they all do what they do for the same reason I do what I do. I have a hard time believing that all men out there that work their asses off and have luxuries in life only do it to impress and buy drinks for hot girls. There's so much more to having self satisfaction and contentment then impressing people with drinks and pretty things.


but would you still work if you won a massive lotto and had had more money that you could ever need in a lifetime?

I'm viewing meeting a financially blessed man in the same way. I would still keep my fun hobbies for things to do if I got bored but would not be slaving in the rat race if money wasn't an issue anymore.

I think most people who won a massive lotto would quit thier jobs the exact next day wether they had the education or not and probably go out and buy something posh to celebrate. There is no shame in enjoying nice things even if you didnt get it by your own work imo.

xx B.
WorkAlone
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 10:10:23 AM

Rank: Cogent Sensualist

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 1,516
Location: Subject to Change without Notice, Canada
cokeheadbarbie wrote:

but would you still work if you won a massive lotto and had had more money that you could ever need in a lifetime?

I think most people who won a massive lotto would quit thier jobs the exact next day wether they had the education or not and probably go out and buy something posh to celebrate. There is no shame in enjoying nice things even if you didnt get it by your own work imo.


I would keep working, albeit at a lower intensity. For some, work is a means to an end. For some, we get fulfillment from contributing to society and getting the stimulation and reward of overcoming challenges. Same with money. For some, its a means to an end, for others, its just a bonus. In my own experience, once you reach "enough" money (bills and living aren't a problem), the rest is just 'gravy'. Sure, it's nice to look at the paycheck and feel appreciated, I'm certainly not saying that, but the thing I've observed about high-income people, at least those that have worked hard to make that money, is that they are often much more proud of their work and accomplishments than of their possessions. A 100 inch television isn't a reason to work 100 hour weeks, nor is a fancy car to drag your sorry ass home at the end of the day. Sure, these people don't deny themselves things they want, including materialistic women and have the means to get them, but that's not really the point. In fact, at least in my field, even the relatively weathly (several millionaires in my company) drive fairly 'typical' cars. Sure, they may have private airplanes, or take first-class vacations, but conscipuous wealth would be considered a big negative for them.

My observation is that 'flash' and brand names are most important to people who can't afford them. Those who can, generally don't care. That's probably why they're willing to give them to someone who does care about that, lol.
lkitbig
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 6:19:11 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/28/2010
Posts: 94
Location: all over the map
WellMadeMale wrote:
lkitbig wrote:
you've found a girl who doesn't need or want anyone to pay the way for her...
An ending thought..... When a man treats me it doesn't have to be with the "pink convertibles and horse ranches and fancy things".... something far less bright and shiny with a much smaller cost that has some element of personal meaning to it is much more appreciated then the shiny expensive things anyway - and no a man that treats like this isn't a deadbeat and no I'm not interested in a deadbeat.... and NO I'm not scared of sounding shallow or materialistic buy saying so ....

and I'm out because I do believe I've maxed out my 2 cents here!


You've made way too much sense with your thoughtful remarks. This thread demands flippancy! Anxious



A very good point! Perhaps I'll just change my response to Barbie to this... "I actually feel sorry for you, and I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and hope that in 10 years you'll look back and go 'who did I think I was?' " :)
lkitbig
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 6:32:00 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/28/2010
Posts: 94
Location: all over the map
cokeheadbarbie wrote:
lkitbig wrote:
In response to Barbie above.... you've found a girl who doesn't need or want anyone to pay the way for her... ME. and no, I dont even secretly want it - yes, I like pretty things and I don't feel guilty about that. I like pretty things, men like other things - each to their own. But the bottom line is - I can pay my own way and yes, even treat myself to my own pretty things. And on an above comment about people not wanting to work hard - you've found another who doesn't agree with that because I do work hard and I work hard because I want to and I love it. I didnt get my education and work my way through my career chain for the ability to buy flashy things or wave a big pay check in front of anybody or even for status. Its just something that happened for me while I've spent years doing what I love. I realize you geared all that towards a man's purpose for doing things but I'd like to give most successful men out there the benefit of the doubt and say they all do what they do for the same reason I do what I do. I have a hard time believing that all men out there that work their asses off and have luxuries in life only do it to impress and buy drinks for hot girls. There's so much more to having self satisfaction and contentment then impressing people with drinks and pretty things.


but would you still work if you won a massive lotto and had had more money that you could ever need in a lifetime?

I'm viewing meeting a financially blessed man in the same way. I would still keep my fun hobbies for things to do if I got bored but would not be slaving in the rat race if money wasn't an issue anymore.

I think most people who won a massive lotto would quit thier jobs the exact next day wether they had the education or not and probably go out and buy something posh to celebrate. There is no shame in enjoying nice things even if you didnt get it by your own work imo.

xx B.



Yes, I do believe I would still work. Quite frankly I love what I do and think I would go insane not challenging myself and my mind. I'm lucky enough to be able to do that with what I do. Contrary to popular belief all work isn't just for the money. Yes, the money is needed obviously to live - but it's not the only reason I do what I do. If I was only in it for the money I'd probably stop putting the passion in to my job and go on a search for a sugar daddy to help me out with that. It'd be a matter of finding his weaknesses and working some magic and voila- rich and never have to work and enjoy the finer things in life. But, for what?

So no, if I won a massive lotto I wouldn't go quit my job the next day. There are lots of people out there with more money then they could ever need in a lifetime that STILL work - goes to show that although they surely enjoy their money - clearly its not all about the money.
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 8:09:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
Short and sweet..its fine with me if she pays..I dont ask or even expect it, but like anything relationships are a two way street things like paying monetary or something like a hug,or kiss, should come naturally and shouldn't be forced or asked for..
MissyLuvsYa
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2011 10:15:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 561
Location: somewhere on the coast, United States
I get somewhat peeved if the guy doesn't let me pay sometimes. I am not an angry feminist but I do believe in equality!!!! Of course I don't want the guy to end up being a bum either.

I think a real man, a complete man, will let us pay some of the time.

Watch out for the ones who won't...great possibility he's a control freak!
foxjack
Posted: Sunday, May 15, 2011 7:45:17 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2010
Posts: 923
Location: Pierre, United States
I think it is fine if the female wants to pay occasionally, helps make the relationship fair. Many of those gender roles were established when girls did not have the rights in this country they have now. Many females couldn't get a job and things like that, so it’s not like they could have paid for the meal in the first place back then. Now government pretty much makes sure that the female to male ratio in the work place is even.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 15, 2011 7:51:35 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
latinfoxy wrote:
Do you as a guy feel that she shouldn't be doing this and that she is trying to emasculate you or do you find it like a cute thing she is doing for you?


Hell no! I find women I treasure the most my equal in every way...and from a financial perspective...I love it if they are equally successful and willing to share and confident enough to throw down the card whenever she feels like it. Probably have more respect when she does it without even a flinch...makes me smile!
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 16, 2011 4:04:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
Since we have been dating I see it as a natural progression in our mutual comfort level. I do see it as a way of balancing the relationship as a woman is in every way my equal, why not financially as well.
I do want to say just because she pays does not mean I feel like I have to "put out".
Fugly
Posted: Monday, May 16, 2011 4:09:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2010
Posts: 1,023
Location: Australia
Buc wrote:

I do want to say just because she pays does not mean I feel like I have to "put out".


And here I was just about to invite you out for dinner - my shout - damn. Whistle
tomlando
Posted: Monday, May 16, 2011 11:06:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/29/2010
Posts: 128
Location: Orlando
Hmmm, If this is an 'issue' for either party, I think it is time to evaluate whether you should even be going out together Think
brad47
Posted: Monday, May 16, 2011 11:38:03 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/7/2011
Posts: 9
Location: United States
I have been in these situations and always found it to be refreshing. To have a girl buy me a drink shows she is interested in me not just my money. For a girl to plan a date and pay for it is even better. A real turn on. Of course if they do not pay I do not find it unattractive. I do not mind paying and never found myself in a position where I expected a girl to pay for me but it has always turned out nice.
BaldurDreams
Posted: Wednesday, May 18, 2011 5:56:49 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/7/2011
Posts: 21
Location: 3rd Rock from the Sun, South Africa
When its a new relationship I generally will insist on doing everything but when there was any form of seriousness I would test her intentions with me. People want security and sometimes that is all its about when push comes to shove. In reality I enjoy equality. I want a hug with no string attached and I want to treat her and not expect to be repaid in a way. The reality is there is probably no right or wrong way as each person wants different things. I guess that is why we end up looking for 'the one' :)
BaldurDreams
Posted: Wednesday, May 18, 2011 5:57:42 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/7/2011
Posts: 21
Location: 3rd Rock from the Sun, South Africa
:)
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 19, 2011 7:54:30 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
i'm a southern raised gentleman so when a girl does things like this it's just out of the norm...nothing wrong with it...I just feel it's better for a girl to be catered to...my pride can handle her doing something that she feels is nice and for me...
Guest
Posted: Sunday, June 5, 2011 4:10:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
I have no problem if a guy wants to buy me something and he and I have been dating for more than just a few weeks, but wanting to get me something big makes me uncomfortable.

1) I don't like being handed things because I don't want to be owned by them just because they decided to give me something 2) where would they be getting this money 3) if they spend so freely, i see that as a financial problem down the road 4) if he buys me anything/everything under his name and we break up, I don't wanna lose everything in my life if he decides to be a prick and take it all back 5) i'd feel like his child 6) I'd feel like he was buying me off, like something sold in a shop

Financial security-- having a savings account for a rainy day-- impresses me more than buying drinks or anything. If he couldn't chill out long enough for me to pay him back or to do an equivalent favor like buying me a drink or a meal, I couldn't date him. Who the hell wants to date someone that can't make you feel like an equal?

I do admit that if I nabbed a rich guy, though, I would be pissed if he didn't splurge every once in a while, just so long as I actually loved him and he loved me: i'd have to feel like I was granted access to that well of money for him for this to happen. If he was trying to buy me off like a "product of the day," I'd be disgusted by him.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, June 28, 2011 11:59:30 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
No it doesn't bother me, tho it's not like I'll let her pay for everything
Boss01
Posted: Thursday, July 28, 2011 3:37:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/19/2011
Posts: 205
Location: United States
I wouldn't call it emasculating, but sometimes it is a control issue depending on the woman. I've been out with some where everything had to be even-steven because they were afraid of a quid pro quo situation.

Writing quality explicit material for over three one-hundredths of a century.
ricinatl
Posted: Tuesday, October 11, 2011 9:53:11 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/5/2011
Posts: 219
Location: United States
Is be so happy that I would be ready to put out to show my appreciation.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 11, 2011 11:37:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,296
I'd definietly expect a girl to buy me something. Drinks, dinner, gift. I'm not just a sex object evil4

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