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Are there different levels of unfaithfulness ? Options · View
1Zratedgal
Posted: Friday, November 11, 2011 2:40:16 PM

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I see many people describing different levels but I believe it is dependent upon your perspectives!

Being in the lifestyle, My Hubby and I have a bond of trust established by thorough communications. We still do have sex with other people. But for us, we always inform or tell our mate what is going on and with whom. It's a safety issue.

But for the original question, No! There is only one level. When you have any physical sexual act with another person, without the consent of your mate is unfaithful!

Now I now people will ask about cybersex. For Hubby and I, we talk about it and the people or personas we are chatting with and what our desires are. We feel that Cyber or onlne stuff is a form of flirting but mostly foreplay. Because after the chatting or texting, you want to do it with someone! And when you do it with someone other than you mate, that is when it is unfaithful.

Kisses!

Steph
cecilesfun
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2011 4:28:49 PM

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Location: Paris, France
icecreamcandy wrote:


This is totally how i feel.. if you are doing something you wouldn't want your partner to do, or know they wouldn't be happy with you doing it, it's cheating... Even if you don't think you will get caught.. the fact you are doing it means you're a bit of an a**hole in my book...




flower




Applause



What does not kill you makes you stronger
Ruthie
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2011 6:50:59 PM

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Cheating is cheating. If you've agreed to a monogamous relationship any kind of sex is cheating. If you have an agreement that oral sex doesn't count, then it doesn't count, but otherwise it does.
JPGR64
Posted: Monday, November 28, 2011 11:55:51 AM

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Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
NO.


my2cents
Guest
Posted: Monday, November 28, 2011 2:41:39 PM

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I think even a kiss is too much. Trust has been broken anyway then, as I see it.
IC_n_2U
Posted: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 2:31:18 AM

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Joined: 10/17/2011
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AnAmber wrote:
I think even a kiss is too much. Trust has been broken anyway then, as I see it.


Playing devils advocate... Is it possible that a kiss can be a catalyst of a realization. Hypothetical ... You're in a relationship, like many unsure of your true feelings or doubting past, and one night a person who has shared feelings for you and you possibly for them ambushes you in the lock of a kiss... maybe it lingers for a few seconds longer than it should.... maybe a biological response brings you to reciprocate briefly... all this before your realization kicks in and you push the other away. Now, The kiss has already happened and your realization for your feelings about the one your with is answered, have you cheated? Do people make mistakes? Do people learn from mistakes?

Things in life are not so black and white and those unable to into the grey try to live in absolutes ignorance to the reality of the world around them.
I will almost guarantee that a good number on here men and women alike have found realization about the person/persons who really means the most to them from a mistake as simple as a kiss.


I believe real cheating is premeditated, acted upon regardless the number of times then hidden from the other. This can be both physical and emotional, but I can not be so blunt to think there is no in between or grey areas and that something like a single kiss may be noting more than a kiss.
DLizze
Posted: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 5:29:02 AM

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IC_n_2U wrote:


Playing devils advocate... Is it possible that a kiss can be a catalyst of a realization. Hypothetical ... You're in a relationship, like many unsure of your true feelings or doubting past, and one night a person who has shared feelings for you and you possibly for them ambushes you in the lock of a kiss... maybe it lingers for a few seconds longer than it should.... maybe a biological response brings you to reciprocate briefly... all this before your realization kicks in and you push the other away. Now, The kiss has already happened and your realization for your feelings about the one your with is answered, have you cheated? Do people make mistakes? Do people learn from mistakes?

Things in life are not so black and white and those unable to into the grey try to live in absolutes ignorance to the reality of the world around them.
I will almost guarantee that a good number on here men and women alike have found realization about the person/persons who really means the most to them from a mistake as simple as a kiss.


I believe real cheating is premeditated, acted upon regardless the number of times then hidden from the other. This can be both physical and emotional, but I can not be so blunt to think there is no in between or grey areas and that something like a single kiss may be noting more than a kiss.


But do you tell your partner, or do you hide it? If you have to hide it, how can it not be cheating?

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 8:53:22 AM

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I believe that if I turn down an opportunity to have sex, later on I will regret the missed opportunity. I'm not married and I try to stay out of serious relationships as guys get very possessive and I want to experience everything I can. To me, kissing is more intimate than sex. Sex is just fun and monogamy sounds highly overrated.
lucky15
Posted: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 10:52:34 AM

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There are, though all of them are wrong, but ones that are emotional as opposed to physical seem to be harder to handle.
Jezziebelle
Posted: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 10:57:25 AM

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lucky15 wrote:
There are, though all of them are wrong, but ones that are emotional as opposed to physical seem to be harder to handle.


Absolutely. Although physical infedility would be hard, it's not something I would absolutely be unable to get over. If he makes the emotional connection with someone else, and I can speak from experience, THAT is what kills me.

But now, turns out my ex is physically cheating on his new girlfriend...so I guess maybe it was just part of a slippery slope...

Right there. Oh yeah baby. Right there.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 11:38:18 AM

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Emotional connection is harder to accept as it has real substance and heart to it.
Sex can be a very basic and involve little feeling of togetherness where as a close, emotional connection carries more weight by far.
I might be able to forgive a one-nighter but a relationship that has carried on for a while would be unforgivable for me.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 4:02:33 AM

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I agree emotional cheating is harder to accept but for me cheating is cheating, physical or emotional...even if it is one-night, it makes your emotional feelings sick...and it is not so easy to recover your feelings...your heart is injured at each kind of cheating and some wound can be so deep..but how can you still love your bf or gf with injured heart...like your heart, your love also injured
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 9:17:57 AM

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It depends who you are as a person,where you were raised and who taught you whats wrong and whats right.

Like others have said on this topic, some people find that masturbation is cheating. I find it as a protein bar instead of the full meal, nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself as I see it.

I think emotional cheating would bug me more because its a huge possibility that it would lead to something else. But say my man/women wanted to go to a strip club, swingers party, dungeon party and so on.It depends what both of us are into. Personally I would want to do those things as a couple, but If my man/women has a Master or Mistress, I would have no problem with that whats so ever cause I know how deep the affection goes in those types of relationships(since I have been in that situation before and was accepted). Its hard thing to sort out in your head and when I have the time, I'll go into it more!

As long as I knew that they wanted to explore more sexual possibilities, its important to ask why so. Just be open with each other, there should be no problem.

Basically, if you had to hide what you did, feel guilty afterwords or in a monogamous relationship and do it anyway (even though you know for a fact your partner wouldn't be ok with it). Its considered cheating in my view point.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, December 01, 2011 5:12:34 PM

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Got to be a reason one cheats on their, BF, GF, partner, spouse. This could be"A to Z" reasons!!!
Hotnite
Posted: Saturday, December 03, 2011 8:50:57 PM

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Unfaithfulness starts when UR partner becomes TO GET BORED!! Then...You know this the END!!
xfallingxangelx
Posted: Monday, December 05, 2011 9:11:35 PM

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Location: 48312, United States
Okay, for me and my husband this is simple. A connection in the virtual world (lush, chat room, yahoo, etc) where it is words on a screen or even on the phone (with someone known and trusted) is not cheating because it's not real. Anything real world (skin to skin even if its with a hand) is cheating. It makes it easy. I can play on lush and get warmed up for him and it's not cheating, because he (and I) are the only ones touching me.

a falling angel is like a shooting star - beautiful from afar, but dangerous if you get too close
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