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Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 02, 2009 2:17:07 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City
restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen
seated there are furiously
masturbating.

She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

One of the Japanese men says, "Can't you see? We are all
berry hungry."

The waitress says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of
the restaurant going to help that situation?"

One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST
COME, FIRST SERVED!
LushPrincess
Posted: Thursday, July 02, 2009 3:06:48 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/17/2008
Posts: 1,177
Location: AZ
I wanna go to that restaurant! evil4
nicola
Posted: Thursday, July 02, 2009 4:54:45 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,108
Location: By a fireplace.
Lexy has probably encountered lots of wankers like this in her restaurant.
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 03, 2009 9:01:21 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
That was cute.
marcosurbina
Posted: Friday, July 03, 2009 11:06:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/28/2007
Posts: 1,867
Location: Valladolid, Yucatán
Great joke. Congratualtions. Well the lion came first -after he had jerked off, of course.




These clients probably misunderstood that menu badly? Oh, I'd like a typewritter, please?
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 03, 2009 12:23:51 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
ohhhh what a typical man joke ha ha, I'm gonna have to either find or make up the eqivilant female jokes.
fystee
Posted: Friday, July 03, 2009 11:23:51 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/28/2007
Posts: 1,285
Location: tied up somewhere
HoneyBee000 wrote:
ohhhh what a typical man joke ha ha, I'm gonna have to either find or make up the eqivilant female jokes.


good luck with that....lol


Good one Bike!
runonwords
Posted: Saturday, July 04, 2009 7:42:39 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/7/2009
Posts: 1,092
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba
ahhhhh good one Mr B
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 04, 2009 7:55:29 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
Wife walks in the front door having returned from the Dr.... The husband sitting in his chair ask her "how it went?"
The wife replied..."He said my skin had the texture and softness of a young girl, and my breasts were firm and full of a woman 20 years younger, and I had zero celluite.
The husband replied...."What'd he say about your fat ass?"
The wife replied..."Your name never came up!!"


Is that first come,first served? Happy 4thoccasion7
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 04, 2009 1:39:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
Good one, Stevie.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 04, 2009 1:55:07 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
LOL@Stevie
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 04, 2009 9:38:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
steviecom wrote:
Wife walks in the front door having returned from the Dr.... The husband sitting in his chair ask her "how it went?"
The wife replied..."He said my skin had the texture and softness of a young girl, and my breasts were firm and full of a woman 20 years younger, and I had zero celluite.
The husband replied...."What'd he say about your fat ass?"
The wife replied..."Your name never came up!!"


Is that first come,first served? Happy 4thoccasion7





I'm going to print this out it too funny I need to post it in my office
southernman
Posted: Sunday, July 05, 2009 7:46:38 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/24/2008
Posts: 11
Glad that the cooks weren't masturbating!
DBarclay
Posted: Sunday, July 05, 2009 10:36:09 AM

Rank: Mr Nobody

Joined: 2/28/2008
Posts: 948
Location: Florida, United States
(Survey by Thomas Cook and ABTA)

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

"The beach was too sandy."

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."





Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 05, 2009 10:42:25 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,968
And I would believe that everyone of those were true.
Ever wonder why the instructions on a hair dryer say not to use it in the shower?
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