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When Lush members just disappear... Options · View
nicola
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:07:27 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 27,617
"Clean up in Aisle 3."
Dudealicious
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:16:58 PM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,662
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
nicola wrote:
"Clean up in Aisle 3."




The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Guest
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:35:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,674
gpjunk wrote:
I am one that someday will just vanish in a cloud of smoke. To me very few people on a site like this are actually friends. Friendly with each other but friends no. I think the word friend has been overused and had its meaning cheapened. A friend of mine is someone I would die for and someone that would die for me. Needless to say that I will probably never have that type of friendship with someone here. If someone has vanished from here frown for a second, shrug your shoulders, and gone on with life.


I think that's a very sever definition of the word...

Quote:
friend (frnd)n.

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement


I am happy to say that I have more than my fair share of these here, on Lush. <3 <3 (2)

I'm closer to some than to others and, just like in real life, I share things with them, laugh with them, cry with them, flirt, fall out, fall back in again.

Some, I'll lose touch with - sometimes we can pick up again, sometimes not.

Would I die for any of them? No, probably not, but then I don't think I'd die for many of my real life friends: my kids? Yes, fuck yes, I'd die for my kids...

Anyway, I said all the things you wanted - can I go now!! lol



hahahahhaah
crazydiamond
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:39:23 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,301
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
High Five (with a chair, he, he) Mazza! xx
(i have no kids, does my doggie count?) :)

Guest
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:44:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,674
crazydiamond wrote:
High Five with a chair Mazza! xx
(i have no kids, does my doggie count?) :)


I looked for a chair one...

crazydiamond
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:48:26 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,301
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
You is soo funny blood, no jokes!
(can you tell i work with youths)
hahaha

castlequeen
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 6:41:57 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 597
I've gone long periods of not posting in the forums, and not submitting, but it's really a question of time. A small child, a house and a husband (the husband needing the most attention...) and my career keep me pretty damn busy at times. I got a ton of writing in while I was pregnant and a fair amount in while dealing with the first few weeks afterwards, but it's still an iffy thing to find time. Right now we're snowed in, and Hubby's watching a Battlestar Galactica marathon, so I've got time to post.

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Phantomrose
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 10:43:09 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/30/2010
Posts: 72
Location: Monroe County, United States
I have disappeared quite a bit from Lush when life gets in the way, or when I just have writer's block. Sometimes, I just have trouble with coming up with new ideas for stories to write, although this time I have a few swirling in my head. I never really post on the forums much. I kind of like lurking a lot more. I want to make more of an effort on posting on here this year.
lustyscribbler
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 4:57:37 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 35
Location: Philippines
Jezziebelle wrote:
I know I connect with my Lushie friends and they definitely pick me up when I'm down, but when I'm dating someone seriously I don't generally use the site, I feel sort of guilty about it. If they're into it too, then that's cool, but a lot of times it just makes people uncomfortable or jealous and the emotional connection with my real life love life is more important to me so I try to avoid drama or hurt feelings. Plus it just makes ME uncomfortable. If I'm in love with someone and they are filling all my needs, I feel no need to use the site other than to just monitor my page/stories. To me,, when people disappear I always think they have something going right in their real life, and I try to be happy for them.


I guess, I have to agree with you...

Sometimes, a bitch is just a girl who wears a mask to hide what's real inside her
principessa
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 7:12:05 AM

Rank: Sophisticate

Joined: 8/23/2011
Posts: 4,585
Location: Canada
Guest wrote:
I have been here a long time. Online life is more intensive than most friendships or flirtations. People leave because they get bored or their other half finds out or their online lives start taking over their real one. I don't mean to sound cynical but how much can you really know from someone's online persona? How much is real and how much is bullshit? You once fufilled a need and they don't need you anymore so they leave in the most painless way(for them). They don't then have to deal with the fall out that their cowardice created.


I have not been here a long time but do agree with all of the above comments.

And as to the cynical observation, there is someone who did precisely this - his persona and stories were lies - he disappeared suddenly and has now reappeared with another avatar, another name and another story. I know it because he contacted me on his return.

My question to all is what do you do with information like this? Clearly this person intends to mislead others - or is this the chance we all take on the internet?

myself
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 8:08:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
I haven't experienced the feeling of loss anywhere on the net except for some lost accts.

Although I like some of you and respect the words you write, none of you are part of my real world. Outside of communicating with my family, I use the net for info and research. Even my writing and photography is a way to research myself. Have to admit though, would miss Dirty if he disappeared ; )

Love this site.

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
overmykneenow
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:28:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,405
Location: United Kingdom
MsYumm wrote:


hahaha! who was THAT??

(still ... it still seems like some things are odd that long time Lushers leave ... like LoisLane earlier too)


I probably shouldn't do this but... http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst19430_Heading-on-down-the-line.aspx

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:53:09 AM

Rank: Artistic Tart

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,773
overmykneenow wrote:


LOL. Interesting thread, Overmykneenow. So let me get this straight: a member announces publicly that they're going to leave, then, contrary to said announcement, they actually do not leave? The hell you say!

The good news for the OP is that the member in question, Abygaleturner69, is (at least as of yesterday) around and active here at Lush. I hope you've re-connected with her.

icon_smile
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:55:57 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,311
Location: My Tower, Spain
i'm feeling butt hurt by this thread. i'm leaving unless 200 people write me and beg me not to go.



Love not hate.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:01:12 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,674
overmykneenow wrote:



Hahahahah - you truly are a forum whore and a shameless self-promoter!!

Love it!! evil4
lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:01:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,575
Location: Alabama, United States
sprite wrote:
i'm feeling butt hurt by this thread. i'm leaving unless 200 people write me and beg me not to go.


No no. You're confused. The butt hurt you're feeling is from eating too much spicy food.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Dudealicious
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:10:02 AM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,662
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
sprite wrote:
i'm feeling butt hurt by this thread. i'm leaving unless 200 people write me and beg me not to go.


Sorry Sprite I won't beg you not to leave, but I will post a really catchy tune for you...Lfunny



The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:13:41 AM

Rank: Artistic Tart

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,773
You're so insensitive, Dude. I prefer to send her away with something a bit more touchy-feely.

overmykneenow
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:16:52 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,405
Location: United Kingdom
Mazza wrote:



Hahahahah - you truly are a forum whore and a shameless self-promoter!!

Love it!! evil4


Don't hate me because I'm pretty!

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
ShyVixen
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:47:44 AM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 5/2/2009
Posts: 1,489
Location: United States
We all have our reasons for staying and for leaving. I left right before my daughter was born as it was a time for family and I needed to put my own desires aside to focus on her. I sent out a PM to my friends and recieved some very nice well wishes. It was not until my abrubt second departure from lush for personal reasons that I came to realize how hurtful it can be not to send that PM. I strained a dear friendship and broke their trust. I've done my share of apologizing yet it will never be the same, sadly. Sometimes we just need to learn from our mistakes.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:08:30 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,215
Location: Your dirty fantasy
I will never delete my account.

If I need time off, I plan to have a 'friend' send a PM blast saying that I was in a freak skydiving accident during a meteor shower (ripped my parachute), and that I am in a hospital 'fighting for my life' for the next 6-12 months. Then, if I decide I want to come back, I'll play it so that my 'evil twin sister' has hijacked my account and is pretending to be me, so I can avoid the people I don't want to talk to.

I get drama-rama PMs like this all the time... evil4

Better to go out with a bang than a simple and reasonable, "I need time off Lush" message, right? Regaeman Man


rudyP34
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:34:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2010
Posts: 127
Location: Canada
Dancing_Doll wrote:

Better to go out with a bang than a simple and reasonable, "I need time off Lush" message, right? Regaeman Man



Coming and going with a bang is Lush's motto.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:53:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,674
Well well, what a topic this is.

At the risk of being tedious and putting a damper on the fun and delicious nature of this discussion, I would like to post a link to a thread that Nicola, owner of Lush, started, concerning aspects of someone deleting an account that have not been brought to the fore.


Think long and hard about deleting your account: I am no longer going to reverify stories for members that return.


nicola wrote:
We have had 3 members this month delete their accounts for a variety of reasons, and then come back, expecting us to be here with open arms, ready to verify all their stories all over again.

The moderators have too much to do as it is, without having to verify the same stories over and over.

This is unfair to those who are submitting here for the first time, and to those who show our site and moderators respect. It increases the time it takes for us to verify their submissions.

Do you want this site to end up the way of others where you have to wait 10 days for a story to be verified? I know it takes this long, I submitted one of my own stories to a few "competitor" sites last month, and was appalled how long it typically took my submission to appear on site.

In summary, I am not going to verify any stories from members that delete their account and come back again, dumping their story collection on us. It is up to the other Moderators if they take the same tack, so think long and hard before deleting your account.

Nicola


Some Lush members disappear for good. Others leave repeatedly and come back, time after time after time, resubmitting their lost stories, blithely assuming their stories, once approved, will receive an automatic nod of approval, gratitude and delight to see them back again.

Fail! Not so.

Each and every story has to be reviewed, and it is a sad state of affairs that some of those people who deleted their accounts also deleted the file for stories that had been brought to Lush standards. They did not, however, keep a copy of the acceptable file.

So we go over it again, sending story submissions back for corrections that had once been done but not kept, due to the laziness or indifference of some people.

This is a massive and frustrating waste of time of the volunteer moderators and story verifiers here, and leaves us feeling as though we are being taken for granted. Particularly when a returning member who claims to have 'accidentally' deleted the account continues to break the GD site guidelines and then forgets that magic formula: 'Thank you for your time and effort, I fucked up. I MADE A MISTAKE.'

If you have read this far, thank you. Please pay attention to the message above and if you do delete your account with all your stories attached, be aware of the consequences of returning and resubmitting said files. They may or may not be approved a second time, to say nothing of a third, fourth, fifth... whatever.
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 12:01:13 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,311
Location: My Tower, Spain
*nods* Gypsy's post sums it up for me. i may need to take breaks from time to time, but i've worked too hard on my stories to ever delete my account. even if, some day, i tire of the place for whatever reason, i will always keep it open and they will always remain for that day when i realize that i wasn't thinking straight and i miss my Lushies and come back. :)

btw, i like Doll's idea. i need an evil twin... Dark Sprite is just waiting to be unleashed! drunken



Love not hate.
Buz
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 12:05:10 PM

Rank: The Linebacker
Moderator

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 9,603
Location: Atlanta, United States
Once I have gone through all the trouble to write my stories and post them and furthermore to get all those great comments then I sure would not want to frivolously delete them. I think I'll stick around.

I think I am going to fantasize about a threesome with Evil Dancing_Doll and Dark Sprite! Yowee!


"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
~James Dean




Milik_the_Red
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 12:59:48 PM

Rank: Internet Philosopher

Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 5,827
Location: The Citadel of my mind , United States
I just returned to Lush after an absence that was not planned but evolved as certain aspects of my personal life went up in flames. There was a point when I doubted I'd write again and wondered if I'd come back at all but as for my account that was never in danger of being closed.

The stories I have posted here have been the results of great effort and I will always be thankful to have a place where I am able to share them with others who have the mental strength to enjoy them without worrying about social acceptability. All of that for free? Why on earth would I ever close my account?

Surely silence can sometimes be the most eloquent of replies
- Unknown
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 12:37:03 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,311
Location: My Tower, Spain
Buz wrote:
Once I have gone through all the trouble to write my stories and post them and furthermore to get all those great comments then I sure would not want to frivolously delete them. I think I'll stick around.

I think I am going to fantasize about a threesome with Evil Dancing_Doll and Dark Sprite! Yowee!


"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
~James Dean




Love not hate.
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 12:38:09 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,311
Location: My Tower, Spain
Buz wrote:

I think I am going to fantasize about a threesome with Evil Dancing_Doll and Dark Sprite! Yowee!


it's recently been pointed out to me that Dancing Doll IS the evil twin! drunken



Love not hate.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, January 19, 2012 2:12:43 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,674
Mazza wrote:


I am happy to say that I have more than my fair share of these here, on Lush. <3 <3 (2)

I'm closer to some than to others and, just like in real life, I share things with them, laugh with them, cry with them, flirt, fall out, fall back in again.

Some, I'll lose touch with - sometimes we can pick up again, sometimes not.

Would I die for any of them? No, probably not, but then I don't think I'd die for many of my real life friends: my kids? Yes, fuck yes, I'd die for my kids...

Anyway, I said all the things you wanted - can I go now!! lol



hahahahhaah


That's just my take on the word. I didn't expect many to agree with me. I guess I could have gone with the nicer "Friends are the family you choose" quote but in my case the people I'd consider friends would be immediate family.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, January 19, 2012 5:35:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,674
overmykneenow wrote:


Don't hate me because I'm pretty!


LOL...

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