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How to get my wife to orgasm more/quicker Options · View
Chris85
Posted: Sunday, January 22, 2012 1:56:53 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 13
Location: Central Coast, Australia
Can only girls answer this only please.

Hi girls I have a question for you.

Ok to start off with. When me and my wife have sex it usually takes her ages to orgasm or she doesn't at all. I can't last forever and I have to keep stopping so I won't cum. I refuse to cum until she does. But anyway on most of these times we could be going at it for ages and she doesn't even get close to an orgasm, I usually have to put my hand down and play with her clit but even then it takes ages.

So my question is how do I turn her on more so she can orgasm quicker or to even orgasm at all? I know it may sound bad that I only want her to cum so I can. But as I have said before I will not cum until my wife has.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 22, 2012 2:17:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 784,607
yo you should be talkign with her about this, since she's the one who knows what she likes, not internet strangers. have an open and honest conversation about what she thinks you can be doing more that you aren't, and make sure that you're ina place where you can listen to her advice with an open mind, and not get all defensive because you're being criticized (and it's almost certain that at some point some of what she says will feel like a criticism to you, because she's going to be hopefully advising you about how to improve).

also work to be more open and communicative during the actual sex, get into the habit of talking to each other, telling each other when something is especially good.

and it kinda sounds like y'all are just having intercourse, can i suggest using some other stuff (like oral) or a different position that maybe has more clitoral stimulation?
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 22, 2012 5:23:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 784,607
Your wife is the only one that truly knows what works for her... I'm sure she won't hesitate to talk to you about it if you were to bring it up (after all, it is for her own benefit!).

A lot of women can't actually orgasm from pure vaginal sex, some positions do, however, result in some g-spot/clit stimulation...these positions are always more likely to cause her to orgasm.

In order to orgasm you have to be relaxed and in the zone... a couple of glasses of wine, a massage, lots of compliments to reassure her that she's okay to just 'let go' will all help (don't go into cheesy compliments, please... just slip a couple in to let her know you always find her attractive and so on).

I personally really struggle to orgasm during sex - even with direct clit stimulation. I think, for me, this is because I get easily distracted from 'the zone', I am much more likely to have an orgasm in the likes of clit rubbing foreplay than in outright sex.

But, as you can imagine, every woman differs...don't be afraid to find out how she differs!
naughtymaggie
Posted: Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:03:07 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 22
Location: United States
I don't have the actual data but I know I read a study recently that the majority of women can't reach orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation. I'm included in that group and while I love the feeling of a cock in me it won't make me cum.

Maybe feeling like she has to cum to make you feel successful stresses her out and makes it take longer for her to cum. I know I can't cum under pressure at all.

Your wife might be perfectly happy being given an orgasm manually or orally before or right after actual intercourse. I definitely agree with the other posters that this is something you'll have to ask her.



Chris85
Posted: Monday, January 23, 2012 3:23:43 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 13
Location: Central Coast, Australia
Thanks girls, i do know that she stresses alot about alot of things and sometimes i get the feeling while we are having sex that she is thinking about something else, she can never stop thinking about other things even when she is going to sleep and stuff like that, she also suffers from anxiety.

I know some of her previous boy friends have been absolute ass holes to her, like her previous ex used to hit her and stuff.

i also know (which may contribute to this) is that for her first time she was raped by someone close to her.
Guest
Posted: Monday, January 23, 2012 3:39:16 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 784,607
Be careful about touching down on the subject of rape and sexual abuse on here....you may want to brush up on site rules.. happy8
SyrianGurl
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 1:49:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/3/2011
Posts: 102
Location: Damascus, Syria
I cant speak for your wife but I can tell you one of the most important things a man can do for a woman is listen. Its good that you try to last as long as it takes for your wife, so good working there. However, achieving an orgasm is different for every woman. The best thing you can do is talk with her, see her insight into it. As for the other thing... being an asshole is never acceptable in a healthy relationship... period.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 6:36:15 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,183
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Maybe try using a clit-vibrator on her during sex. For example, use a small vibe that cups in your hand, you're in doggy position and then reach around with the vibe to use on her during penetration. That should speed things along... rather quickly.

There are toys designed specifically for couples play during sex: You can try a We-Vibe or something like the Lelo Lily (and there are many other version of the same kind of vibe, I'm sure).





** And yes, everyone, I know I'm recommending Lelo... yet again. LOL and no I don't make commission... it's just the toy line I'm most familiar with and feel confident recommending because I have a lot of them. I find the noise associated with a lot of vibes a bit of a turn off and these are verrry quiet. geek


Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 6:48:13 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 784,607
Dancing_Doll wrote:
Maybe try using a clit-vibrator on her during sex. For example, use a small vibe that cups in your hand, you're in doggy position and then reach around with the vibe to use on her during penetration. That should speed things along... rather quickly.

There are toys designed specifically for couples play during sex: You can try a We-Vibe or something like the Lelo Lily (and there are many other version of the same kind of vibe, I'm sure).





** And yes, everyone, I know I'm recommending Lelo... yet again. LOL and no I don't make commission... it's just the toy line I'm most familiar with and feel confident recommending because I have a lot of them. I find the noise associated with a lot of vibes a bit of a turn off and these are verrry quiet. geek


How's your commission working out DD?

I LOVE my Lelo - so glad you recommended them!!
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 6:53:30 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,183
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Mazza wrote:


How's your commission working out DD?

I LOVE my Lelo - so glad you recommended them!!


I keep waiting for them to start up a Canadian office so I can apply for a cushy VP job and walk among my own kind... evil4


Nikki703
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 12:19:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 14,352
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
Dancing_Doll wrote:


I keep waiting for them to start up a Canadian office so I can apply for a cushy VP job and walk among my own kind... evil4



A VP job? Id just love to work in R+D, HAHA!! A few months ago, I was watching this show on late night Cinemax called Chemistry. In one of the episodes, one of the characters has a meeting with the CFO of Lelo. She had all the toys spread out on a table. Too funny!!
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 12:44:29 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 21,156
Location: My Tower, United States
Nikki703 wrote:



A VP job? Id just love to work in R+D, HAHA!! A few months ago, I was watching this show on late night Cinemax called Chemistry. In one of the episodes, one of the characters has a meeting with the CFO of Lelo. She had all the toys spread out on a table. Too funny!!


where do you volenter to became a test subject?!?



Love not hate.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 1:01:05 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,183
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Nikki703 wrote:



A VP job? Id just love to work in R+D, HAHA!! A few months ago, I was watching this show on late night Cinemax called Chemistry. In one of the episodes, one of the characters has a meeting with the CFO of Lelo. She had all the toys spread out on a table. Too funny!!


Stop teasing me! laughing8


HornyNymph
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 6:45:28 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/21/2010
Posts: 153
Location: Derby
Ask her to show you how she likes it or ask her to play with herself whilst your having sex

"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing." - Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) in Pretty Women
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