Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Three Chinese tortures. Options · View
SusanEngland
Posted: Thursday, April 12, 2007 2:43:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/21/2007
Posts: 458
Location: England


A man had been lost and wandering in the Chinese wilderness for 3 months. All he had to eat was what he could forage and was forced to sleep wherever he could find meagre shelter.

One day he came upon an old farmhouse. In answer to his knock, an old Chinese gentleman asked, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"I have been lost in the wilderness for 3 months and have not had a decent meal or nights sleep in just as long. May I stay the night?"

The old man agreed under the condition that there be no messing with his granddaughter. "I will cause you no trouble," the man said.

"That's very good," said the old man, "because if I catch you with my granddaughter, you will suffer the three most severe Chinese tortures."

The granddaughter attended the evening meal and the man was awe-struck by her beauty. Since he had been alone for so long and she had not been with a man in her life, they could hardly keep their eyes off of each other during the meal.

Later that night the man crept into her room and they had a terrific time together. They were careful to be quiet lest they awaken the grandfather. Afterwards, the man returned to his room (on the third floor), and thought:

"That marvellous experience was worth enduring a thousand tortures." He then fell promptly asleep and had the best sleep in three months.

Upon awakening, he felt an incredible weight on his chest. He then realised that there was a 100 pound rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign that read: "1st Chinese Torture - 100 Pound Rock On Chest."

This is some lame torture thought the man as he carried it over to the window and threw it out. Then he noticed another sign on the bottom of the rock: "2nd Chinese torture - Right Testicle Tied To Rock."

Knowing that it was too late to catch the rock, the man hurled himself out of the window after it. Passing through the window the man saw a third sign on the window ledge: "3rd Chinese Torture - Left Testicle Tied to Bedpost."

########

Submitted for all you men with my sympathies for your tender bits. --- Love from Susan x x x

Xanthe
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2007 1:13:48 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/13/2006
Posts: 16
Location: New Jersey,
Owie!
KnightOfPassion
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2007 10:16:47 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 48
SusanEngland wrote:

Submitted for all you men with my sympathies for your tender bits. --- Love from Susan x x x


Good God - after that, you could at least offer to kiss them better ;)

Knight Of Passion: The Man, The Legend, The Blog - and now, The Podcast!
SusanEngland
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2007 3:12:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/21/2007
Posts: 458
Location: England
KnightOfPassion wrote:
SusanEngland wrote:

Submitted for all you men with my sympathies for your tender bits. --- Love from Susan x x x


Good God - after that, you could at least offer to kiss them better ;)


Ohgod how thoughtless of me .. ermm ... ahem ... if it isn't hurting TOO much may I please kiss it better for you?

What? Pardon me?

Kissing doesn't help?

Sucking is best? .... well I have never ever done that before but I will if it will make it better for you.

x x x x x x
KnightOfPassion
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2007 4:30:17 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 48
Mm - I think the torture might almost be worth it...

;)



Knight Of Passion: The Man, The Legend, The Blog - and now, The Podcast!
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.