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ok i just need help here..what do u guys and girls do with the gift ur ex gave u after you'll br Options · View
Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 11, 2012 11:48:14 PM

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Shylass
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 5:00:10 AM

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I think people may be able to help more if you could expand on the issue, maybe? I'm guessing you're talking about after you've broken up, you're not sure whether you should return/throw away/sell a present the ex gave you? dontknow

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

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MMonroe
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 12:57:29 PM

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I still have a toy dog my ex won for me at the fair (it was like an old fashioned film!), and he sits on my shelf now, but it would totally depend on the break up. With this ex, we have remained friends after but I have been through break ups before when it was too painful to keep any reminder of him around so it all went.

If you're not sure what to do with it, just stuff it in the back of a cupboard for now



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Dancing_Doll
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 1:19:19 PM

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I still wear/use a lot of my gifts from exes. Sometimes I'll think "oh yeah, I remember when he bought me this ring etc." when I first look at it, but if I like the ring, I'm still going to wear it. I also still have my pink Burberry teddybear that an ex gave me sitting on a bedroom shelf.

To me, these are just objects that I like...

If something has too strong an association then I just store it away or give it to a friend.

Strangely enough I actually feel more uncomfortable about using gifts from a guy whose heart I broke rather than the other way around. Might be related to residual guilt etc.



Guest
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 2:03:16 PM

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it depends on how the bad the break up is
Guest
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:07:17 PM

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I agree with Hunter, it really just depends on how bad the break up is/was. I have a diamond braclet from an ex that i keep only to remind me of how worthless he was, he was one of those guys that could melt your heart to get you back, he only provided gifts to cover up the other woman he had on the side. However, I also have a ring from an ex that i wear daily because he was and is still my best friend, we just couldnt make it work in a relationship. Just depends on the relationship.
sprite
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:32:43 PM

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i kept my engagement ring for a very long while - he broke up with me, btw. the exes from breakups that were mutual and on good terms, i kept some things for sentimental value - the bad break ups i either destroyed gifts or gave them away/sold them if they had some monetary worth. i still have some jewelry, books, and stuffed animals from exes that i was fond of, even after we split. :)

Live, love, laugh.
Nikki703
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 4:28:03 PM

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I have kept most of the gifts I have received. The only really bad break up I have had was with my ex-husband. I didnt want to keep my wedding and engagement rings. I gave them to my 2 oldest daughters and told them to do what they want with them.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 4:30:49 PM

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It generally depends on the item given. If it’s a worthless piece of tat I would throw it away. But if it is worth something even if it’s not worth money but sentimentality then I would keep it to remind me of better days.
Just because they are your ex does it mean that you chuck out everything that reminds you of them. I think that is stupid.
dutyunfolded1
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:47:15 PM

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I've mostly kept things from my ex's except for a few items. The items I did get rid of, my gf at the time would ask me "where did you get this from?" once the story was unfolded about the item, and the disapproval from the new gf because i kept it......it would get tossed. I tend to be like the above posts and like to hold onto things to remind you of the good times you had.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:53:45 PM

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I was talking about this the other night with a friend. She's sporting a hefty diamond solitaire engagement ring (and has been for nearly a year) but she's thinking of ditching the guy as he's dragging his feet on setting a wedding date. Whatever... I thought it was odd that the marriage date wasn't agreed upon within the first few weeks, but that's not my concern.

She's going to give it back.

But the earrings, watch, bracelet and anklet...she plans to keep (unless the cheap bastard requests them returned).

Most guys who gift to their beloved ... know the unspoken rules. And if you don't... heheh, you'll learn 'em.

Don't be a fucking cheap ass too, koolboy. Unless, yanno - If she cheated on ya, she should give back THE ring (if there was one) and if not...cut your losses and count your blessings. * If you cheated on her (another woman, another man, drugs or what the hell ever - Kiss the Ring goodbye)

In your future life, you should drive down the road and piss away more coin, having fun.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
VanGogh
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 12:17:16 AM

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koolboy wrote:




What was the question?? Shylass is correct ... a little more info would be helpful in order to have a decent response.

For me it depends on:

- was it a husband? Then, no, I return nothing.
- was it a boyfriend? Then, I return everything .... and close the chapter.

only exception ... I always keep the shoes, regardless who bought them for me!
bootyshake

A Milf series combined with Office Sex *fans face* .... The Secretary and The Student
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Guest
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 5:16:53 AM

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Shylass wrote:
I think people may be able to help more if you could expand on the issue, maybe? I'm guessing you're talking about after you've broken up, you're not sure whether you should return/throw away/sell a present the ex gave you? dontknow


yup u are right.. i dont know why it wasnt geting posted completly..
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 5:21:17 AM

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i dont know if giving the gift back is a good idea
Shylass
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 6:49:45 AM

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koolboy wrote:


yup u are right.. i dont know why it wasnt geting posted completly..


I think you probably tried to put it all in the subject title, which is why the first post is blank. Normally, the titles have a very small character limit, as opposed to the post field (the bit you are reading this in now).

Perhaps you could just ask if they want it back? You could do that by phone, letter, e-mail or in person. If you don't feel you can ask, but you are worried, you could perhaps post it, or leave it with a mutual friend for them.

And if you are not sure, as somebody else said, stick it in a cupboard until you know what you should do with it.

My brother's ex has left three large bags of books here, from before they broke up. I can't throw them out, obviously, and as she turned out to be a psycho and my brother has avoidance issues (and a new girlfriend). So if it's something big and annoying that your family have to put up with, please return it just to get it out of the way! Read it


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

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Guest
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 8:11:24 PM

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hey thanks for the help guys... i really appriciate it
Guest
Posted: Thursday, February 16, 2012 4:41:53 PM

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If you are interested in the law on engagement rings (and who has the right to the ring if the wedding is called off), here in an interesting article:

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/grossman/20011023.html
VanGogh
Posted: Thursday, February 16, 2012 6:12:12 PM

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not_yet_famous wrote:
If you are interested in the law on engagement rings (and who has the right to the ring if the wedding is called off), here in an interesting article:

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/grossman/20011023.html


Mr. NYF .... very interesting article. Thank you for sharing!

PA

A Milf series combined with Office Sex *fans face* .... The Secretary and The Student
starting withThe Secretary and The Student - first part with a Famous Story - over 30,000 views! woohoo!

Enjoy!!

For the Anal Lovers .... come enjoy my RR honoured An Alluring Ass

Another Sex in the Office Poem (I know you love those!!) In Your Office with over 10,000 views! woohoo!

kinkitten
Posted: Friday, February 17, 2012 9:53:49 PM

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if its jewelry- especially expensive jewelry- keep it. if not id throw it out

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/milf/the-neighbors-boy-1.aspx
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 8:19:22 PM

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Mostly i'd Keep it especially if it's Jewelry or a Cute teddy bear old cds etc.. but it mostly It Depends on the break up, And if That item has some sort special meaning in our relationship i.e First movie we watched together first neckless that person gave me etc... It would be hard to throw away but i know it's an object that would cause more pain if i dont.

spearone
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 4:17:22 AM

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If they are really expensive, i would return them. Perfume, books, cd's... i use them.

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icecreamcandy
Posted: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 4:22:26 AM

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Totally depends on what is it and as people have said how bad the break up was.
I have things ex bf's have given me, and like Doll i keep them because i like them and use them.

I tend to store stuff away after a break up and come back to it when im happier about the situation, then decide what to do with it.


flower

Ice cream + Candy = Yummy
MrsT301
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2012 12:38:20 PM

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Take it to the pawn shop!
Buz
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2012 12:44:54 PM

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I went to the doctor and got a shot and a prescription to get rid of it!

hahahaha I'm just kidding!!!

Mostly they gave me stuff like shirts, baseball cap or a cowboy hat and I still have them. Once I got an engraved name bracelet. I still have it. I never wore it much anyhow.

If it is something you like just keep it. Its yours now anyhow.

1curiouscat
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2012 12:53:49 PM

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Ebay? Give it back? Pay it forward?

Unless I really, really indentify with it, then i keep it.



Overwhelming Reality

From Across the Room
MssTreeNymph
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2012 1:04:17 PM

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I just donate everything so at least something good comes out of the break up
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2012 1:40:07 PM

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In the year... well a year that was a long time ago... I had given my girlfriend a tennis bracelet (very tiny diamonds), a 14 ct gold necklace (didn't cost much - couple three hundred bucks I think - maybe?) and... (drumroll please)... a promise ring. lol Yeah... a $250 ring...should tell ya how long ago that was...

The precursor to the engagement ring...and not as sentimentally close to my heart as my college class ring (which I lost about 20 years ago while fishing).

She gave me a Colibri cigarette lighter that at the time was billed as the world's thinnest, for our 2 year anniversary of 'going steady'.
It looked like this...I could have sworn she paid $500 for the thing.

At the time, I just thought I was one lucky bastard. (and I was)...it's not the cost of thing$ when you're young and in love...so much as it's just that she thinks of me.... queue up swooning-romantic-puppy-love tune. She and I were poor college kids. She gave me pussy and I gave her lots of hard dick. That was good enough for both of us 99% of the time.

We broke up after four years of monogamous dating (no living together involved) she and I attended different colleges. No gifts were returned, nor did I think to offer her back the cig lighter. I liked it, even though one full charge of butane would only light up about 10 cigarettes before it petered out.

My grandmother had given her a couple of hand made quilts for a couple of xmas presents... Marilyn did ask me if I wanted those back...and I asked her to keep them, unless she was going to give them to Goodwill or something.

You don't have to be an asshole when a relationship ends, and you don't have to be a gold digging butt-wipe either. But four years is a bit different than 4 weeks or 4 months or 1 year of loosely seeing one another.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Sol_Invictus
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2012 2:34:28 PM

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If it's something you like, keep it, after a while you'll look at it and smile. If it's just there and it isn't something you like or that you'll use, find a resale shop, or donate it and get a tax credit (if available).
Jack_42
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2012 2:38:28 PM

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I think this question only applies to short term relationships between 2 people. It's a different ball game after 20 years of marriage and kids etc things like "she gave me these cufflinks " don't seem as important as other issues. Well that's how I see it.
Guest
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 10:11:43 AM

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I agree with Jack_42. After 23 years of marriage, I kept the bed but dumped the mattress. The jewellery was mine to keep. I've sold the wedding and engagement rings.
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