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Adding and Accepting Friends Options · View
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 6:24:39 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,873
Location: Wiggleton, United Kingdom
What do you about your Friend Requests?

I always look at the profile first when I receive a request, and if I don't think I know the person in real life, or they scare me to the point of running away (so far I have only ignored one, and I felt really bad about it), I add them.

I add people I have had no communication with before because I feel rude saying no. But I wonder why they asked me in the first place, and I don't want to appear rude and ask, "Why did you request me?", as it seems confrontational. I don't hear from most of them, and I am content to leave it at that, because... well. Who are they? dontknow If they were hoping to see my nipples or Happy Button once I accepted them, I am sure they are now disappointed. And yet, there they sit on my friends' list.

I like the people who send me at least one PM first, because all of them have been kind and I liked them enough to accept their request, as I am interested in what they have to say.

As a rule, I never request anybody (I did it once, and he left Embarassed ).

So what makes you want to add people?

What do you do when you receive a request from somebody random?

Thank you in advance for any replies. flower

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 7:39:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/18/2009
Posts: 607
Location: United States
Not gonna lie, I add some on curiosity of the pics(hoping for nudes). I also add someone that writes stories that I am interested in. I know I can follow but I like to add them in case I might feel like chatting or commenting sometime in the future.
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 7:46:21 PM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 11,767
Location: Atlanta
I think most people send an add request because they either read your stories, saw your profile, or read your posts in The Forum and thought they'd like to get to know you better. I always look at their profile page but I am not picky. I like nearly everyone anyhow. But I do like to tell people that I do not cybersex.

Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:25:50 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 4,055
Location: Vancouver
Buz wrote:
I think most people send an add request because they either read your stories, saw your profile, or read your posts in The Forum and thought they'd like to get to know you better. I always look at their profile page but I am not picky. I like nearly everyone anyhow. But I do like to tell people that I do not cybersex.

apparently, Buz .... and thank you for the add! *mwah!!*
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:42:49 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
"I wonder why they asked me in the first place." Then I take interest, and see if they actually do have something to say.

Trust your instincts, and don't feel bad when you act on them.
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:46:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
At first, I only added and accepted women as friends. Now, I am not meticulous. I mostly add people to my friend list that enjoyed reading my stories and poems.
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 9:21:33 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,461
Location: Your dirty fantasy
I don't send add-requests very often. When I do, usually it's because I've interacted with them on the forum or by PM or I've enjoyed their stories.

I accept anyone who follows me, my stories, has voted/commented on one of my stories, sends me an intro-PM or if I check their profile and they seem vaguely interesting. Sometimes it depends on the day - I'm pickier some days and other days I accept almost everyone.

For the most part, I see my friend-list as a story fan-base with some friends mixed in. I'm never visible online, so I don't really worry about getting unsolicited pokes, online-convos or messages. The few people I interact with regularly know how to reach me but as my profile says - I rarely do formal online chats and I don't cyber. I do like to get to know people's personalities through the forum. All of the people I'm privately social with here are regular forum posters - to me it's like a community within a larger community.

Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 9:34:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
The people I sent a friend request too are mostly people that i've talked with in the chat rooms or forums/Private messages or authors i admire on here and if they seem nice and interesting I'll sent them a friend request.
If i receive a friend request from someone i've had no contact with i just delete the friend request and go on but if they repeatedly send me annoying messages just asking me to cyber and to add them because they think i'm hot i'll just delete there message and block them.

It's simple with me honestly just send me a nice pm explaining why you want to talk to me etc... and if i see that you're nice i'll maybe add you.
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 9:41:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/26/2010
Posts: 534
Location: Cloudland, AUSTRALIA
These days I tend to accept requests from people that are more active in the lush community- they are interactive on the forums and / or write stories. I don't like it when people send me request with blank profiles or demand that I take I check them out, more often than not there's not anything on their page that catches my interest. Your page is like an advert or a snap shot to your personality- little to no information implies to me that your boring/lazy, here to collect friends or cyber - all which I'm not up for.
I don't often send a lot of friend requests but when I do it because they have caught my eye of the forum or I've enjoyed reading their stories.
I would love to chat to the people I'm friends but being on the other side of the world it makes it a little hard when Im awake and everybody else is asleep.
By friending people that are more actively involved within the Lush community allows me to get to know their personalities and for them to get to know me too via the forums- it's kind of a way around not being able to have a proper chat :)
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 9:51:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 3,305
Location: Seattle, United States
I usually send a PM first before I send friend request. As to the people I sent to, usually they're people I had good intereaction in the forum games, or they have commented on my stories/poems, or vice versa.

Since I'm a guy, I don't receive friend requests often. If it's from someone I never interacted before, I usually accept with a polite reply asking how do I have the honor to become his/her friend.

Welcome to visit my tumblr page at http://HK4167.tumblr.com for erotic arts. Or http://slice-of-moment.tumblr.com for non-erotic arts.
Posted: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:14:35 AM

Rank: Candy Connoisseur

Joined: 11/6/2011
Posts: 2,657
Location: Sydney
I think I have sent just one friend request. If you want to know me, you'll request me. In saying that though, Im no longer accepting new friends, but it doesnt stop people. I dont know what is up with that. People seem to just refuse to read bio's. Im glad Im not a lesbian (or am I?), they must get shit from guys every single day.

Posted: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:49:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
If they have piqued my interest in the forums or written stories I like then I usually send a PM explaining why I'd like to 'friend' them and ask their permission. A tad selective, but it helps me keep in touch with the Lushies who tend to contribute more and alerts me as to when they submit new stories.

I have had random friend requests and, as others have done, I check out that persons profile to determine whether or not they are merely 'collecting' names before I decide whether or not to accept. Compared to many, I am a shy wall flower in the 'friends' department and hope to keep it that way. flower

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Posted: Thursday, March 1, 2012 9:27:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 14,721
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
I very rarely send out a friend request. I have only sent a handful in my time on Lush. I usually feel like I will be bothering the person if they arent interested in me as a friend. And the ones I did ask, I would send a PM first introducing myself.

As for requests I receive, I will accept the person if we had some contact before like in a chatroom (although I do not frequent chatrooms as much as I did in the past) or more likely in the forums. Occaisionally I will accept based on their profile if I see something that interests me or something we may have in common.

When I first joined Lush, I would generally accept every woman's friend request but soon found that I never heard from many of them once I accepted. As a matter of fact, I have some "friends" I have never chatted with. I dont want to be just a number on someones list so they can gain a badge. And would only accept guys who showed me respect. I gave a few of my current male friends a real hard time but I now consider them some of my best Lush friends!!

I prefer to be friends with people who are interested in more than sex. And if they have read my profile and respect what I wrote, I am more likely to accept them too.

I wish I could chat with all my friends more often, but since many are scattered around the world, it is difficult because of the vast time difference.

Best way to get me to friend you is to show respect!!

Best way to get me to ignore you is to say "hey im horny, lets fuck"!

Posted: Thursday, March 1, 2012 2:28:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
In general, I don't send out too many friend requests.

I usually only add someone if we have similar interests and they have filled out majority of their profile and put some effort into it.
Posted: Thursday, March 1, 2012 3:58:00 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/1/2011
Posts: 118
Location: United States
At first I just added everyone and didn't really care, but then I became more selctive by only adding people that have talked to me first or sent a nice message before/along with their friend request. Now because I only come on for one specific person,,, I've sort of neglected my inbox. 465 random requests =/
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 4:12:11 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
I used to accept all requests, but then after a while and there is no interaction, I clean out my friends list from time to time. Now I usually have to interact with them, get a nice message first, or if they're random and have an avatar, I'll take a look at their profile. From that point it becomes a matter of choice. If you don't take the time to load up an av or put anything in your profile, it's trashed unanswered. That goes for chat requests too.
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 5:45:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/15/2007
Posts: 339
Location: Anna Maria Island
I don't accept all friend requests that come my way. If the request comes in "out of the blue", I will first read the sender's profile, stories posted, etc. to see if we might be compatible. Yeah, guess work.

I usually hope to chat with the person (chat room or chat window) or have had messages about a story.


The quiet and always horny old guy in Sunny Florida USA
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 6:51:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2010
Posts: 923
Location: Pierre, United States
As a rule, I try not to send out friend requests to others, I don't want to bother them, I figure if someone is interested in me they'll bother me, chances are the intrest will be mutual if they do after all.

Note: The following is drastically simpilifiedjust because you don't meet all the conditions doesn't mean you won't be accepted if you apply; I give everyone equal oppertunity to change my innital character judgment of them if they try.

At first I used to acept all requests I got; however, I got tired of a few of them asking for phone sex all the time (all males); so now, I will only accept friend requests if:
A. He/She is good looking, which conforts me because then if I have to deal with someone hitting on me all the time, at least I know they think I'm good looking.
B. If male they aren't the more than 10 years older than me, I don't want to deal with any male hitting on me that is even close to my dads age lol.

Exceptions to previous statment are:
1. If they have an interesting profile which leads me to believe they might be fun to talk to.
2. OR If they sent me a well designed pm which led me to believe that once again, they might be interesting to talk to.

In general females have a MUCH better chance of me adding them brecause I like girls showing interest in me a whole lot more on guys (on this site at least lol).
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 7:32:02 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2011
Posts: 173
Location: United Kingdom
Shylass is shy, eh? (Pun very much intended.)

Why not just politely say: "Excuse me if I appear rude, but I can't help but wonder
what it was about me that sparked your interest?"

My two cents on the matter:

My reasons for being here aren't to cyber sex. I just want to bask in a sexually charged
atmosphere every now and again, voice ideas/opinions, and share my talent and fantasies
with those whose literature/content I freely indulge in.

I hesitate to send friend requests in general and I don't expect them. At my best, I'm only
a hair away from a "lurker," and at worse, I'm a ghost; here but not here.

Interestingly enough, in person, making acquaintances, initiated or not, happens

Are you truly awake?
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 7:37:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,233
Location: The Tundra, United States
I accept friend requests when I've interacted with them enough in the forums. I also check out their profiles and if they have anything to say that's interesting in their bios, I'll accept them. I'm also very choisy too when it comes to accepting certain people.

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:

New story now available!
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012 7:49:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/29/2011
Posts: 700
Location: South Florida, United States
If I send a friend request it is because I have read a story by them that I liked or have enjoyed their posts in the Forum. If I see someone has listed my story as one of their favorites or signed up to follow my stories and they are not on my friend list I will send them a friend request. If they like my work enough to honor me that way then I should be honored to have them as a friend. I have no interest in cyber sex, which holds no appeal to me.

You are invited to read Passionate Danger, Part II, a story collaboration by Kim and ArtMan.

Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 1:37:02 AM

Rank: The Bee's Knees

Joined: 8/16/2009
Posts: 10,440
Location: this side of bliss..., United States
i tend to add ppl after we'be had a convo. i figure i can weed out ppl who just want pics, or are just trying to get off. yes, I enjoy cyber/rp, but it's better after you get to know the person. i DON'T add blank pros...too shady. jmMy 2 cents

Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 2:23:04 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
i don't believe in adding people just to show large numbers , i like to add with whom i can have friendly talk, intelligent talk, some are good poets and writers as my friends ....
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 2:31:43 AM

Rank: Head Nurse

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,589
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
I strictly add people I interact with only. If I have denied a friend request, don't take it personal. I just dont want large numbers of 'friends'

Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 4:21:45 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
I don't cyber, send pms, chat or make friend requests and rarely answer an email. I have no desire to. If one sends an email requesting knowledge which is not personal to me, for example-a question about photography, I am happy to respond but these emails are not common. I do enjoy the connection and sharing knowledge with the world in the forums. Mostly I'm content to watch you all and read and write quietly by myself.

I don't discriminate with the friend requests because it's other people's way of using the site. All levels of maturity and cooth are excepted. It is easy for me to except the compliments/interests and ignore the juvenile's (grown or not grown) silliness.

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 6:11:43 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
Honestly, It doesn't bother me. I just add them. My only proviso is they have the courtesy to put up a profile picture so I know who goes with what name when we're chatting online. I've had my share of wierdos, creeps and jerks try rattle my cage, but I also have some great buddies here who have got my back. You got to take a chance in life if you want to meet new people. A stranger is a potential friend/lover you haven't met yet. I've met great people here that way and made a few connections with like minded individuals whom I consider now to be some of my closest friends. Add them!! :) It's all in the name of a bit of light hearted fun.
Posted: Monday, April 2, 2012 9:52:18 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/12/2011
Posts: 49
Location: United Kingdom
I enjoy the conversation and have made some great friends, some I have added alot of people but by the same token have also deleted.

There are a few that have freaked out one way or another and those I have blocked. No need to worry.

I come onto Lush to enjoy and I am not going to let a few ****** spoil it for me
Posted: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 5:26:01 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 123
Location: United States
On every networking site are bunches of people treating it like a game, with "friends" as the points. My profile makes it clear that I'm not interested in friending anyone whom I'll no longer hear from. Consequently I've probably deleted as many 'friends' as some people have. Further, if they behave in some manner that annoys me, or say, are immersed in incest or demeaning stories, they simply get blocked; I do not want to interact with them, that number is over 20. There is no etiquette rule that says one must endure boorish, rude, invasive or pushy people; nor answer their "friend request."
Posted: Thursday, April 12, 2012 8:18:28 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Sweetness

Joined: 9/10/2011
Posts: 2,348
Location: the sweet, sunny south, United States
i think i have only sent one or two friend requests... when i get them generally i look at their profiles... send a pm asking them to tell me why they even asked... too many people are just trying to increase their numbers. i have added some who never ask to chat or never contact me again. i have been slowly but surely cleaning out and adding new people... but i am very mindful about staying below the socialite badge trigger... i just can't do it...

Posted: Thursday, April 12, 2012 11:00:46 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 878,875
When I first joined I was adding everybody, but that was because I wasn't really interacting on the website as much.
I'd come on, read a story and get off. Now that I'm more sociable on this site, I started ridding my friends list of
people I've never talked to.

I rarely send out friend requests because I'm not sure if the other person has friendly interest or not. I've sent out a few since
I've been here, not much.

When someone requests me, the first thing I notice about them is their display name, then I will view their profile to see
if they're interesting or not. Such as if they have an av, information filled out, etc. Just to make sure they are
active in the lush community. If they have no av and nothing filled out, needless to say I wont add them. I won't add
them if they want Cyber all the time either.

I'm starting to keep my friends list trimmed. I enjoy talking and getting to know people if they want to know me as well.
I do enjoy messaging back and forth before a friend request is sent. Gives me a sense of who you are other than a
total stranger.
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