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Taking you out for dinner to make up for giving you a STI... would you go? Options · View
illy
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 8:34:35 AM

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Location: The Beach
I've been seeing this guy for the last few months quite casually and recently we had unprotected sex once. Last week I found out that I've now got a STI which he gave me (I know, I should have know better!!) We haven't spoken in over week and tonight he texts me and says he wants to take me out for dinner to make up for it. Previously, I had told him that I was starting to like him a lot, however, he said his feelings for me aren't as strong as mine for him. After, telling him that, I broke the news that he gave me an STI- which he felt bad about.
I don't want to invest my energy into someone who just seeing me whenever he pleases. It seems like he wants to take me out to dinner so he can feel better about himself.
Would you agree? And if you were in this position, what would you do?
SweetPenny
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 9:52:35 AM

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Location: State of Confusion
1. He didn't tell you he had an STI and had unprotected sex with you -- That's dishonest and mean.
2. You have strong feelings for him; he does not reciprocate -- That means you will be hurt.

I don't see what benefit there is in going to dinner with this guy. He wants to treat you to dinner to alleviate his conscience. What's in it for you?

Guest
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 9:56:03 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,331
SweetPenny wrote:
1. He didn't tell you he had an STI and had unprotected sex with you -- That's dishonest and mean.
2. You have strong feelings for him; he does not reciprocate -- That means you will be hurt.



Adding to this..

3. He 'felt bad' that he gave you an STI, he should have been utterly embarrassed, distraught and so on.

4. a) Him giving you an STI shows he either has a disregard for knowing his own sexual health - do you really want to be with someone like that?

b) Him giving you an STI also shows he isn't careful with who or 'how' he has sex either.. (again, do you really want to be with someone like that?)

That's an awful lot of 'cons' for the 'pro' that is you quite liking him.
sprite
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 9:58:12 AM

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If he really felt bad, he'd offer to pay your medical bills.

Live, love, laugh.
Nikki703
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 1:38:48 PM

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sprite wrote:
If he really felt bad, he'd offer to pay your medical bills.


Honestly, I Cant Believe You Are Asking This Question! Id Tell Him Where He Can Stick His Dinner!!
littlemissbitch
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 5:49:31 PM

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id say yes and then stand him up. maybe do something mean to his car while he waits for you...

littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
caramelvixxen
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 8:47:49 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/8/2012
Posts: 97
Location: MA, United States
sprite wrote:
If he really felt bad, he'd offer to pay your medical bills.


Please listen to the ladies who have given you a very wise list of cons. Let your common sense make this decision and not your heart and emotions.

Tell him he can pay your medical bills and throw in something for pain and suffering and then never talk to you again!!!

You are only setting yourself up for disaster if you are with a guy like this!



***Click here to read my latest true story about nocturnal urges***

VanGogh
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 8:54:07 PM

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Location: Vancouver, Canada

Get a lawyer. File a police report.

I would not put up with that ... I'd sue his ass and have him charged for .... whatever grounds the lawyer can find as a precedent in your law abiding location.

fuck that .... no dinner, slap him with a lawsuit for mental anguish, medical costs and future therapy costs to learn to trust again.

bastard

absolutely vile man

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honeydipped
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 8:58:21 PM

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girl no! i agree with the other ladies, director KEEP IT MOVIN!! you offer to take someone out to dinner when you forget to call, NOT when you put their health in danger.

"it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~aristotle
Ruthie
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 10:55:33 PM

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No. No, no, no, no no. Nope. Never.
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 11:00:12 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,331
Oh Gosh, he obviously doesn't feel too bad for what he has done. He should have told you...
I mean, how is taking you out to dinner going to solve anything? I wouldn't talk to that
person, ever again. Especially at the fact that he knows you like him a lot and if he doesn't
feel the same, why does he bother? I don't think he's a keeper..
MarySweets
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 11:31:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/5/2012
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Location: In my fantastic mind, Australia
This guy obviously knew he had an STI. He disregarded not only your feelings, but your health by getting his own way. And to make up for it by offering dinner that is a new low in my books.

Give up on this guy, continue taking the treatment and I think what is most important in your life right now is you. Please focus on yourself.

"Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken."

Simone de Beauvoir
ponyboy
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 11:56:21 PM

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if i got to watch em eat wormy dog food Regaeman Man

Naughtygrl73
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 12:49:00 AM

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sure I'd go on the condition he took me to a steakhouse and I got to stick one of those really long sharp knives right between his ribs.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 1:48:27 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,331
How can you give an STD withou knowing .
FelineFantasy
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 3:29:51 AM

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This is just common sense and should be a general rule of life, not just for this situation but in every circumstance: If there are more cons than pros, never proceed.

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stephanie
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 5:14:53 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2010
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Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland

This guy played fast and loose with both your health and your emotions.

(I hope it wasn't a very serious STI.... Because it could have been...)

Dinner is going to cost less than $300, even if he takes you to the best eaterie in town...

(I don't know you, but I'm guessing you're worth more than that.)

For your own sake, AVOID this guy.

xx SF



'I fear I shall be swept away by the swell I can glimpse through the slats on the pier..." xx SF
Milik_the_Red
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 5:46:45 AM

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What more is there to say. He's a lowlife. Block his phone and hope his dick falls off

Dancing_Doll
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 6:46:48 AM

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Woah... lots of overreaction in this thread.

First - he may not have known he had the STI - sometimes people (guys more often than girls) are asymptomatic, even as they are unknowingly infecting other people. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt on that one, because most *reasonable* people wouldn't just shrug off an STI if they knew they had it. Yes, he obviously doesn't care that much about his 'sexual health' in general but one can make that argument for anyone that has casual sex without a condom. And yes, the OP agreed to go unprotected with this guy, too. Obviously a few bad decisions by both parties involved for which they're both at fault, as far as I'm concerned. Hopefully it's not a serious STI, otherwise it's a hard lesson learned.

As far as the guy - I'm sure he feels bad about it, but the dinner thing is a pity/charity move. Why bother? Dump the chump, get cleaned up and buy some condoms to stash in your purse for future hook-ups.

lafayettemister
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 7:10:22 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,469
Location: Alabama, United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:
Woah... lots of overreaction in this thread.

First - he may not have known he had the STI - sometimes people (guys more often than girls) are asymptomatic, even as they are unknowingly infecting other people. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt on that one, because most *reasonable* people wouldn't just shrug off an STI if they knew they had it. Yes, he obviously doesn't care that much about his 'sexual health' in general but one can make that argument for anyone that has casual sex without a condom. And yes, the OP agreed to go unprotected with this guy, too. Obviously a few bad decisions by both parties involved for which they're both at fault, as far as I'm concerned. Hopefully it's not a serious STI, otherwise it's a hard lesson learned.

As far as the guy - I'm sure he feels bad about it, but the dinner thing is a pity/charity move. Why bother? Dump the chump, get cleaned up and buy some condoms to stash in your purse for future hook-ups.


thumbup








When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
blazestcyr
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 7:23:10 AM

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Location: where bugs die
OMG....cut this guy off

he is a dirty boy!!!

please!

my first time my guy did this to me

& said he cured it..gave it to me twice!!!!

a supper for a disease???


woah


pay your doc bill & get the hell out i say!
lafayettemister
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 7:37:58 AM

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Joined: 10/4/2010
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Location: Alabama, United States
IF the guy knew he had an STI, he's a douchebag. But from the original post, that isn't clear.

Either way, he isn't 100% responsible for her health bills. She is at least partly, if not fully resposnible for her own health. She said she'd been seeing him "quite casually for a few months". If after a "few months" things are still casual, i.e. not serious/monogamous/committed, she shouldn't have had unprotected sex. That was her decision. We've all done it. And we're all responsible for our own actions.

If he knew he had an STI, then she should kick his ass, tell everyone he's tainted, whatever. He could help her with her medical treatment. But in the end, it's still our own duty to protect ourselves. Unless he knowingly lied or misled her, she is equally responisble for her condition. If not more so responsible.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
DLizze
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 8:24:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,568
Regardless of the responsibility for the disease, going out to dinner with the guiy to help assuage his conscience is a recipe for disaster. So, in answer to the original post and question, no, do not go to dinner with him. But neither should you try anythng to be as nasty to him as he was to you; that merely reduces you to his level. Just put him out of your mind, and move on.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
veryopen
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:50:38 AM

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Location: Near Dayton, United States
If my partner gave me an STI, (casual or not) there would be no chance in hell i would ever want to see them again! Get treated and find a more loving partner.
anonymous1526
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 8:01:14 PM

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jesus girl, do not see this guy, hes obviously shagging around and you risked your health for the sake of this low life! do not contact him and forget him, seriously, dinner is no sort of sorry gift for giving you an STI hes a fucking jerk

Everything happens for a reason. Live for the moment and have no regrets.
BeautifulSpirit
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 8:14:41 PM

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Joined: 9/16/2010
Posts: 129
Location: who cares, United States
Any man that can expose you to an STI has NO CONSCIOUS. I am thankful that I found out my husband cheated and made him get tested. He was positive for herpes. Granted it s so low that it MIGHT be a false positive but I care way too much for myself to give in. He has tried so hard too. I made him move out. Please don't go to dinner. It's not appology! He is saying "hey, since your already infected...". Tell him to go to fu€k himself. You are too important to let this happen.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 10:30:02 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,331
No i wouldn't not now ,not tomorrow ,not ever
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