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latinfoxy
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:11:02 AM

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lafayettemister wrote:


I don't think it's about women having to step around this kind of thing. As CG and PA posted earlier, if they invite a man into their bed it's for one reason. To get laid. Having women think the same way on this just shows how easy it would be for anyone to make the assumption the OP did. And I don't see it as a strictly woman issue. If a man invites a female friend of his into his bed, she'd have every right to think the same thing.


The OP says he is staying at her house for a few days, that makes me understand that is not like she called him and told him come and sleep in my bed, but rather that he needed a place to sleep for a few days and she said yes sure you can stay at my house. This fact for me its what changes the situation, if she just have one bed in her house and she feel comfortable enough with him as a friend why shouldnt she invite him to SLEEP at her bed? in this case is when i say that i have cuddle with some male friends without wanting or needing anything else but to cuddle.

If im miss interpreting the OP's point and they did went out and she said would you stay in my house or something like that, then yes i would have thought that she wanted sex also.

just my My 2 cents
sprite
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:16:42 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
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MMonroe wrote:
Because she wanted somebody to cuddle up to, no have sex with. I have plenty of male friends i would sleep next to but not want to have sex with them


when i have had male friends staying with me in the past, guys i knew and trusted, btw, i have offered to share my bed. one, it's way more comfy then sleeping on the couch, air mattress, floor, and two, i like the company - it's nice to have someone to sleep with - that said, it's not an offer to fuck. snuggle, yes, fuck, no.



Love not hate.
1curiouscat
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:34:13 AM

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Joined: 4/25/2011
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Location: São Paulo , Brazil
No matter your social status with the lady friend that invited the guy to share her bed, I guarantee you the guy will think there is a possibility that he is going to get laid. Even when there is communication beforehand that this will be a no sex sleepover, the guy never discards 100% and the though of his friend rolling over and getting dirty will never leave his mind.

IMO if it's me, I will decline, and sleep on the couch.



Overwhelming Reality

From Across the Room
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:35:41 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,317
lafayettemister wrote:


I don't think it's about women having to step around this kind of thing. As CG and PA posted earlier, if they invite a man into their bed it's for one reason. To get laid. Having women think the same way on this just shows how easy it would be for anyone to make the assumption the OP did. And I don't see it as a strictly woman issue. If a man invites a female friend of his into his bed, she'd have every right to think the same thing.

Is it right or wrong? I don't know, maybe so. We can only go on experience. And in my experience I've never been invited to sleep in a woman's bed just to sleep. I don't think it's off the wall crazy that the OP thought she wanted something physical to happen. Now, that in NO way means that it is expected that she gives up the goods. And in NO way should he force or coerce her into anything. That's a whole different ball of wax.


Yes, two people on this thread did state that. That doesn't mean that men should assume anything, if there aren't any obvious signals; no sexy underwear, no major flirting, no past sexual history etc, do. not. assume.

Women are more than capable of laying out obvious signals or initiating it if that's what they want, I've curled up with guy friends many a time and they would absolutely not be my friends to this day if they assumed that because I offered them the other half of my double bed as opposed to our short sofa or the floor, that's for sure.

Because there are different 'types' of women the answer is surely not to assume anything unless it is being clearly laid out for you (no pun intended), lets face it, you're going to lose less friends by waiting for an obvious sign than by trying to fuck every female friend that ever allows you to sleep in her bed. Seems simple enough to me at least!

But with regards to the OP's situation.. goodness knows.
sprite
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:38:18 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
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Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,558
Location: My Tower, United States
1curiouscat wrote:
No matter your social status with the lady friend that invited the guy to share her bed, I guarantee you the guy will think there is a possibility that he is going to get laid. Even when there is communication beforehand that this will be a no sex sleepover, the guy never discards 100% and the though of his friend rolling over and getting dirty will never leave his mind.

IMO if it's me, I will decline, and sleep on the couch.


i am perfectly comfortable with him entertaining thoughts along those lines as long as he doesn't get all pouty when nothing happens and/or he gets his hands smacked. oh, and yes, i understand the male anatomy well enough to be comfortable with him waking up with an erection as long as he's not trying to find a sheath for it ;)



Love not hate.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 10:56:59 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,317
sprite wrote:


i am perfectly comfortable with him entertaining thoughts along those lines as long as he doesn't get all pouty when nothing happens and/or he gets his hands smacked. oh, and yes, i understand the male anatomy well enough to be comfortable with him waking up with an erection as long as he's not trying to find a sheath for it ;)


Yes, this too.
lafayettemister
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 10:08:18 AM

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Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,494
Location: Alabama, United States
sprite wrote:


i am perfectly comfortable with him entertaining thoughts along those lines as long as he doesn't get all pouty when nothing happens and/or he gets his hands smacked. oh, and yes, i understand the male anatomy well enough to be comfortable with him waking up with an erection as long as he's not trying to find a sheath for it ;)


That's reasonable. I don't think the guy should EXPECT to get laid, nor do I think he should get pissy if he doesn't get laid. Just that it's not too far out in left field that he thinks it possible.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
SweetPenny
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 10:27:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,274
Location: State of Confusion
1. She likes you as a friend and wanted to cuddle.
2. She likes you as more than a friend, but isn't ready for sex yet.
3. She planned on having sex with you but you did or said something to turn her off.
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