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overmykneenow
Posted: Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:35:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,287
Location: United Kingdom
Just sometimes, the reviews on Amazon are particularly enlightening...

Veet hair removal cream for men - how not to use it

Don't ask how I found this

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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SITTING
Posted: Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:40:50 AM

Rank: Wilful Wallflower
Moderator

Joined: 8/11/2011
Posts: 887
Location: In the library, Leeds, United Kingdom
Um, 'maroon colored bag of agony'...??? I find that somewhat gross. The warnings/labels are NOT put there to fill up blanks spaces..

Stalker, ballet dancer, obsession...
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 02, 2012 1:58:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 689,037
Quote:
However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.


This made me laugh so hard there were tears running down my cheeks. tinkywinkleton
MMonroe
Posted: Wednesday, May 02, 2012 4:18:25 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,893
Location: United Kingdom
Haha I just read the first three but i imagine the other 300 are of a similar story.

But I agree, Veet is evil. I smeared it on my legs once and after a minute it burned so bad I had to wash it off and was left with burns that looked like grazes all up my legs. Not good.

But I would NEVER put it on my bits just like that without testing it. Silly men.

Quote:
gentleman's log cabin


Men are funny



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



latinfoxy
Posted: Wednesday, May 02, 2012 4:57:34 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/5/2011
Posts: 818
Location: Here
Quote:
Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.


hahaha i cant stop laughing!!! Lfunny more painfull than childbirth hahahaha

Am i doing a bad translation or do people really have a favorite eye? i mean i love both of mine, cant choose a favorite lol

Edit: omg it gets better if you keep reading!! hahaha i sooo needed this!!

Quote:
Having lathered the cream all over my passion pole and clock-weights I went downstairs, sat down in front of the TV, and waited for the magic to work.

I've always advocated chemical castration for rapists and child-abusers without really knowing exactly what that means. I do now


Quote:
I purchased this product in a professional capacity, as the executive intimate grooming consultant to the popular actor and fighty man Mr Chuckleton "Chuck" Norris. I asked Mr Norris to remove his solidly heterosexual combat trousers and I then applied the gel to his sub-navel appendages. He said little at first, but then I noticed a small driplet of water making its way down his rugged cheek. "My winky's gone all hurty," he sobbed. Upon closer inspection, Mr Norris's previously granite-like babymaker had become a tiny, pinkish smear of semi-liquid flesh that votes Democrat and wants to go on a date with that nice Robert Pattinson.


Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 02, 2012 5:36:35 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 689,037
This just keeps getting better! 6
Swollen
Posted: Thursday, May 03, 2012 1:42:42 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,028
Location: United Kingdom
A little tip for 'Andrew' !! laughing6

Try the Ladies Veet for sensitive skin. A much milder cream that is equally effective on both guys and girls! X

playsit
Posted: Thursday, May 03, 2012 10:22:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/26/2011
Posts: 438
Location: Northeastern Untied Sates, United States
chefkathleen wrote:


This made me laugh so hard there were tears running down my cheeks. tinkywinkleton


I was eating luch when I read the reviews. I laughed so hard I spit all over my monitor... damn it, where did she put the wipes?
kinky_girl
Posted: Thursday, May 03, 2012 11:06:06 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 161
Location: The House of Kink, United Kingdom
I read this ages ago after a friend sent me the link and laughed so hard I was in tears and it's still as good second time round. Makes me truly glad that some men think they are beyond safety recommendations, thank god for guys like that!

Professio in silentium.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 03, 2012 9:38:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 689,037
Read it Read it Read it Read it Read it
clown clown clown clown clown
kickbutt kickbutt kickbutt kickbutt kickbutt
DLizze
Posted: Saturday, May 05, 2012 9:08:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,568
I loved the one by the guy who stuffed it up his nose! Reminded me of the kid in One Fine Day. LOL

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Naughtygrl73
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 3:28:19 AM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,491
Location: The temple of Naughty, Australia
I haven't laughed this hard in I cant remember.
My stomach hurts, my cheeks ache and I've got tears running down my cheeks

Going back to read that again


sunshinehigh
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 11:29:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/27/2012
Posts: 208
Location: United States
DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)





Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahah and he still gives it a five.....oh good lord i love this.
Frank
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 1:34:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 11,686
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
rr d'oh! Read it sad1 sad10 crybaby cussing Eh?

isjda giggle clapping jerkit no lol Lfunny

Of all our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney

adele
Posted: Saturday, July 21, 2012 12:29:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 21,402
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
The problem came when we decided to baldify my arse crack. Oh my god, bloody hell what a mistake. The first sensation was of a nice chilled feeling between my bottom cheeks, kind of like sitting down in wet grass. All well and good. Then I hit the shower, it was like a vindaloo had been poured between my arse cheeks, while I was getting a severe wedgie. To say it was agony is an understatement, I was howling. Even today (4 days after the event) I can't walk properly or sit on my bike.

Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny


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BigShyPussyKins
Posted: Saturday, July 21, 2012 1:04:06 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/26/2012
Posts: 111
Location: United Kingdom
I once brought some cream for a heat rash. Read the instructions etc and said suitable for use on Poison Oak rashes also right at the start, then under do not use for instructions stated not suitable for poison oak :/ Good job mine was only a heat rash lol.
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Saturday, July 21, 2012 4:02:43 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 854
Location: United Kingdom
These reviews are hilarious.... How stupid some men are I will never understand.... Lfunny

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Michael
Posted: Saturday, July 21, 2012 4:10:46 PM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Somewhere with Sun and Sea, United States
I am lacking the actual instructions but I am sure someone here must know how this is applied...




MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Saturday, July 21, 2012 4:24:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 854
Location: United Kingdom
FtLMale wrote:
I am lacking the actual instructions but I am sure someone here must know how this is applied...




*Backs away from the computer* Umm...... What is that supposed to be?

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
JWillie
Posted: Friday, April 12, 2013 3:41:11 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/18/2013
Posts: 33
Location: United States
Thanks ! ! ! I was thinking about getting this to use on my shaft. Got a bit of hair there. And seeing as how I am nearly blind I am NOT going to try to shave it.


angry9
todream65
Posted: Saturday, June 15, 2013 7:41:07 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/12/2013
Posts: 29
Location: United States
I once tried an anti fungal lotion for athlete foot. The label also said it is effective for jock itch.....never again....

Visual Orgasms leads to Mental Orgasms leads to Physical Orgasms
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 15, 2013 8:17:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 689,037
How'd you find that?
Guest
Posted: Monday, June 17, 2013 6:20:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 689,037
Michael wrote:
I am lacking the actual instructions but I am sure someone here must know how this is applied...





Supposedly, it's a lube that's applied to "the desired area" 15 minutes before any activity and the alum in it provides a "temporary tightening effect".
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