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Poll Question : What's your #1 insecurity when with a new partner?
Choice Votes Statistics
That your dick is too small 3 4 %
General body imperfections being noticed 8 11 %
Disappointment in your sexual skills/abilities 7 10 %
What happens after sex (expectations/rejection) 2 2 %
Doing something (sexually) that will freak her out 17 24 %
Whether or not you will both achieve orgasm 7 10 %
How you compare/measure up to previous partners 13 18 %
Other 7 10 %
I have no sexual insecurities whatsoever! 5 7 %

Sexual Insecurities - For Men Options · View
Coco
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 9:51:46 AM

Rank: Cocolicious
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Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 5,121
Location: Fantasy City, United States
Do any of you make any effort in talking through your insecurities with your partners? And if so, how do you approach the subject with her? I'm asking this especially those that have particular kinks that your SO may or may not enjoy.




1curiouscat
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 10:06:25 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2011
Posts: 1,150
Location: São Paulo , Brazil
cocokisses wrote:
Do any of you make any effort in talking through your insecurities with your partners? And if so, how do you approach the subject with her? I'm asking this especially those that have particular kinks that your SO may or may not enjoy.


In my case, I have found positive feedback when she starts exploring. It seems she is way more inclined to be open to hear and think about new ideas when she is "open" sexually. Since my objective is to acutally enjoy my "kinks" with her, I look for the most oportune moment, where the risks of a "no" are smaller and / or the consequences of my "exposure" will be almost non existent.

So to sum it up - when the stars and planets are well aligned - the portal to kinkiness is open and the muse is with us - this is the time when I open myself sexually to her.



Overwhelming Reality

From Across the Room
playsit
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 10:09:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/26/2011
Posts: 468
Location: Northeastern Untied Sates, United States
cocokisses wrote:
Do any of you make any effort in talking through your insecurities with your partners? And if so, how do you approach the subject with her? I'm asking this especially those that have particular kinks that your SO may or may not enjoy.


Coco, I've never talked to mrs P about my insecurities about her thinking I was a total sexual freak (even though by Lush standards, I'm probably considered somewhat vanilla). I did get her to enjoy being blindfolded after I told her I had something special in mind. I never talked to her about it, I just did it. I made sure I only did things she would be comfortable with. I can't imagine things going past that point though, well at least right now anyway. Embarassed
JackJ
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 11:45:39 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/13/2012
Posts: 15
I feel I have 2 from the list. I feel my cock is a little on the short side plus at times I am a little too quick. So I guess you can say I got the worst 2 issues. I always try to give her a good tongue lashing first
Q-Ball711
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 6:33:55 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/1/2012
Posts: 36
Location: Tacoma, United States
clum wrote:
It's very interesting to see how varied the responses here are compared to the poll in Ask the Gals.



like again.
CountryAzzCowboy
Posted: Friday, May 11, 2012 6:49:54 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/28/2012
Posts: 14
Location: United States
It bothers me if my partner doesn't cum. I rather feel......like I should do better.
DeLioncourt
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 9:35:38 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/13/2012
Posts: 44
Location: United States
playsit wrote:


That's a GREAT analogy WMM... holy shit that's funny!


Another good one I have heard is "like fucking a glass of water"
Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 15, 2014 5:54:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,069
Whether or not she minded me wearing briefs
Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:56:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,069
My biggest fear is that Mr Happy won't play - he just wants to sleep. I want to party I have her ready and he's not into it.

Also when I was younger I never felt good about myself physically and even today I am often reluctant to approach somebody I am attracted to. Although at my age now I'm starting to figure what the hell she can only say no and I'm no worse off.Embarassed
Guest
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:49:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,069
These days, honestly, none. I had some understandable insecurities in my teens regarding my performance and appearance, which drove me to improve myself in areas that weren't quite my speciality, rather than starting to look for excuses like most people do. I only look forward to a great sex session and giving her maximum pleasure, which is something that I know I am quite capable of.
xXMister_TXx
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 5:32:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2012
Posts: 147
Location: Germany
my insecurity could be best described as performance pressure. The first times I've been with a woman I had this mindset that I need to do really well now but that caused pressure and I couldn't relax and enjoy the situation
Guest
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 6:07:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,069
As is in any situation not just sex. You must have a positive attitude towards what your doing. Confidence is definitely a sexy trait.
You are what you think you are. If you think you are good, then you are. If you think you are not , then you are not.
There is also room for improvement, always.
Just have fun and enjoy sex. FUN is the key.
dpw
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 7:35:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,461
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
justinbriefs wrote:
Whether or not she minded me wearing briefs

Well if she ever does I never will!Whistle
Thanks for digging this one up, I hadn't seen it.
HotBttmInBriefs
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 7:40:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 1,518
Location: United States
I answered the one about how you compare or measure up to previous partners but only because I think it is the most common. Probably at some point all of them have been a part. It seems to vary with different partners.

With my ex-wife who was a virgin when we did it the first time, I didn't have that worry but I did worry about whether I would meet her expectations or her fantasies about when it would finally happen. Those can hard to live up to sometimes.

Buz
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 7:49:14 AM

Rank: The Linebacker
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Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 9,629
Location: Atlanta, United States
Maybe worrying whether I was better or worse than previous partners. I've always been open to suggestions and willing to let her tell me exactly what she wants, so I'm thinking I don't need to worry about that anymore.




dpw
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 7:57:58 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,461
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
I suppose it's whether I'll cum! I can sometimes take forever which can be so frustrating.
SereneProdigy
Posted: Sunday, February 16, 2014 2:37:42 PM

Rank: Cryptic Vigilante

Joined: 7/16/2013
Posts: 2,903
Location: Into the Unknown
I'm surprised 'Premature Ejaculation' and 'Erectile Dysfunction' are not listed separately in the poll, considering they might be popular among many men. I guess they could be included in 'Disappointment in your sexual skills/abilities'.

This is what I voted for personally (Disappointment in your sexual skills/abilities). I'm quite confident about my overall skills/abilities, but can also experience premature ejaculation at times (or at least premature climax), especially when I'm having sex with a woman for the first time. The hotter the woman, the more likely this might happen, so at least it's a bit of a compliment. Surprisingly enough, I was able to last quite a long time with the hottest woman I've ever fucked (which was also one of the greatest fuck I've ever had, and no, it wasn't only because the girl was hot).

I don't have a severe case of premature ejaculation, but that's about the only thing that can make me a bit nervous when I'm fucking a woman for the very first time. With experience though, I've found ways to work through it, so it's not really a major issue either.

For the curious : http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postsm1277010_Premature-Ejaculation.aspx

Otherwise, I think that just about everybody has this general 'performance anxiety' with a new partner, which I believe is quite normal, very healthy and almost pleasurable because it keeps us on the edge. Even famous rockstars who have been touring for 25+ years will tell you that they still experience a certain 'performance anxiety' before they hit the stage.

One more thing that's not really an 'insecurity' but more of a 'fear', is the uncertainty of being sexually compatible with your new partner or not. Although the first night might still be enjoyable, it can be quite a letdown to discover that all the efforts you've made to finally end up in bed with him/her might prove to be vain in the long run.

PS : Nice responses in this thread.
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