Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Is There Ever a "Right Time" to Confess? Options · View
Shylass
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 12:04:55 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,681
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
I've been thinking (I do that sometimes).

For many of you, Lush and sex and porn are not a big deal. For maybe a few, it is.

And I was thinking, is there ever a right time, or even a need, to "confess" to being on Lush and writing stories - particularly if some of those stories are real life memories?

If I met somebody and had a relationship with them, I would want to know if they wrote (stories) on here, because it is obviously intrinsic to who they are. But likewise I would be terrified that they would use their experience with me as material (good or bad). Generally "looking at porn", is something normal a lot of people do, I believe, so I doubt I would be as bothered by that unless they needed it all the time.

Sharing that I write on here would be a massive, vulnerable step for me, because I have been more honest about my inner self in my writings than I ever have in real life. Plus, with the memories I have written down, whilst I am fine to share them with an unknown world of people (that wonderful anonymity!), I am not comfortable with the thought of telling a real-life partner, "Okay, so I write stories about sex, and here's everything I've done sexually; read that!" Of course, I wouldn't need to give them a link, but if they asked, I would be incredibly uncomfortable not to, balanced with the awkwardness of giving in.

So what are your thoughts on sharing your Lush life, if you have any? I would be very interested to know, please.

Ta muchly. flower


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
clum
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 12:27:06 PM

Rank: Clumeleon
Moderator

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 5,531
Location: Kirkcaldy, United Kingdom
Very interesting...

I've been in a relationship for four months and have not mentioned the fact that I have written erotic fiction. I should also say that I haven't written (or, for that matter, read) anything on Lush since the relationship started. And if it makes a difference, only one story on here is based on reality.

It's tricky; I really don't know when the right time to tell her something like that is or if I need to tell her at all. I'm not sure how she'd react and I don't think it's the kind of thing that would spice up our sex life or anything. Part of me thinks that I should have told her early on and that the longer I leave it, the harder it gets.

If she happened to ask, I would tell her in an instant and, if she wanted to, I'd let her read my stuff.

I'm very interested to see other responses here.

She Just Wants To Be

Third place entry in the Toy With Me competition.
Shylass
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 12:30:33 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,681
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Thank you for your reply. Big Hugs

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 1:29:01 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,511
Location: Cakeland, United States
I'm actually rather proud of Lush and my active membership @ this oasis, but I doubt that I'd advertise this site to someone I'd only been seeing a few months.

There are more than a few ghosts in my closet also, and I figure a lot of new friends (and lovers) do not need to know the entire lifestory, months and years ahead of getting to know the man I've been the last dozen or so years.

Although turning 'em on to Lush would be a novel way to let them know about me. evil4

I would not be surprised if I woke up alone some morning with no word about where she had vanished off to, either, after she'd read a couple hundred of my forum posts.

My stories here? Hell, I'm rather proud of those poorly recanted efforts. 'She' would probably have already received one or two of those...before we'd ever gone out on date number one.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 2:10:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
I guess my stuff is tame enough not to really cause offense to anyone. Certainly, people that I have told about Lush have very much enjoyed what I've written and a few even joined after...

I do find myself saying to people to ignore the incest stuff - I mean, i'd hate for anyone to think that I was into anything like that - in fact, to be honest, that's probably the biggest downside of the site for me...

There are quite a few people that I wouldn't think about telling about the site, but more because they don't need to know, or I don't want to share that side of me with them.

I do actually get called Mazza by some people, so it does give me a start when someone calls me that now - I think to myself, 'have you found me out?'

Lush has become a big part of my day, so I do like to tell people or talk about it when appropriate...

Thankfully, I don't have to tell my special someone about Lush as he already knows...
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 2:30:19 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
As I've mentioned in my latest story, Alannah and My Loins (shameless plug, I know, but I'll get to my point soon) there are now a total of 4 friends who know about my Lushing and erotic writs, one doesn't care, one doesn't mind, the other thinks it's cool and the final friend, well it's all in the story. I have to admit, if friends start talking about porn and erotic stories, I do tend to keep schtum about it, not because I'm ashamed, but I'd rather keep this playground just for me. Of the friends that know, I have told them that the incest stories that I've written were about someone else's family - and it's the God's honest truth that I harbour no erotic feelings about my family, it was actually a challenge I set for myself. Anyway, I'm digressing, I think that if you trust your friends enough, Lush shouldn't be such a big deal for them, after all it's just another place to play.
Shylass
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 3:18:34 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,681
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
I'm not talking about general friends, I mean proper romancey snoggy shag'em partner (or potentially, anyway).

I did tell two normal friends about my stories, because I knew they would be proud of me. And they were...

Thank you for your replies. flower


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Resident
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 4:01:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2011
Posts: 173
Location: United Kingdom
The person I've an interest in...I've been knowing for about a year.
We've grown very close and the interest is mutual, but we're both
tentative about taking the title of boyfriend and girlfriend.

Anyway, she knows of my membership here, and has read my
published story before I submitted it here. It has never changed
her opinion of me; in fact, she says it heightened her interest.

But to each their own. Maybe it's the style and fashion of my
writing that made it more acceptable to her.

You will know the person better than anyone here, so even
though your fellow Lushies have given good opinion/advice,
it's up to your own discretion.

Are you truly awake?
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 4:48:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
Shylass wrote:
I'm not talking about general friends, I mean proper romancey snoggy shag'em partner (or potentially, anyway).

I did tell two normal friends about my stories, because I knew they would be proud of me. And they were...

Thank you for your replies. flower

Well my friend Alannah is a friend of the shagging/romantic nature and she loves that I write erotica, in fact the reason we started shagging is because I write erotica. I've no doubt that if I told new girlfriend about my writing of erotica, she'd be fine with that. I would tell because I'd hope it added another dimension to our relationship. I think I'd try and introduce it as early on in the relationship as possible, just in case she thought I wasn't telling her for some untoward reason.
Resident
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 5:16:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2011
Posts: 173
Location: United Kingdom
Gurlyboy wrote:

Well my friend Alannah is a friend of the shagging/romantic nature and she loves that I write erotica, in fact the reason we started shagging is because I write erotica. I've no doubt that if I told new girlfriend about my writing of erotica, she'd be fine with that. I would tell because I'd hope it added another dimension to our relationship. I think I'd try and introduce it as early on in the relationship as possible, just in case she thought I wasn't telling her for some untoward reason.


I think Gurlyboy is on to something here. It could help add another dimension to
your relationship. It's a clever way of clueing them in on things that excite you
sexually without as much fumbling and bumbling about in that awkward exploration
phase. Telling them without telling them ;)

Are you truly awake?
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 5:23:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
Shylass wrote:
I'm not talking about general friends, I mean proper romancey snoggy shag'em partner (or potentially, anyway).

I did tell two normal friends about my stories, because I knew they would be proud of me. And they were...

Thank you for your replies. flower


If you have a new person on the romantic horizon, then you just have to decide when and what to tell them - I mean, if something is a huge part of your life, then you would probably share that quite early on in a relationship. If it was something minor, that never took up much of your time, then you'd be less likely to mention it?

You know, I really ought to tell my BF about my love of Mongolian throat singing, but it's only a small aspect of my life and quite frankly, I'm worried it might scare him off, you know??

Some things are best left unsaid...

I guess what it really comes down to is how you feel about Lush? If you're proud of and enjoy what you do here, then hell yes!!! Tell him!!

If it's relevant to your life, then I would share it... if that makes any sort of sense...

Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, April 02, 2012 12:37:47 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,079
Location: California
From my experience this is not a simple answer and is entirely a case by case thing. No girl will ever think "oh okay he writes porn stories on some fucked up sexy mybook dot com type shit... That's kinda cool, not really my thing but its cool I guess. Just a hobby." Then move along to talking about her favorite fucking sushi roll or some bitch at work who is hating on her or whatever. They will either think it's fucking awesome if they read it and like it and ask you to read their writing. OR they will read it and be like, "oh, that's something hehe" And be creeped for a bit.

So I would say that the right time would be when you are close enough to your partner that farting and pissing in front of them, if it is necessary due to unforeseen circumstances, has become something that can be done without batting an eye by either person. This is the type of closeness that transcends freaky fuck stories. So under those circumstances, the partner will think it cool and want to read it or think it dumb and just kinda think it's whatever. I will also say that whenever people have found out it has been because I leave lush open on my computer sometimes and I have been caught... I would probably never tell a girl about writing erotica unless they confessed they did or wanted to or they openly watched porn and loved it or were just twisted enough from my observations that they would like that. But mostly, I think It seems dorky or perverted to people that do not understand it or have read it before.

I agree with clum that erotica does not spice up a sex life. Not for me anyway. So do not mention it for these reasons.

Also, one more thing. Relationships are like chess not checkers. If you have been with a woman for a long time, I would call a long time a year or more. So say you started writing two months into your relationship and you have now been writing for about 10 months or so and you decide to tell her because she's a perv and she'll like it and she does when she reads it and she's like, "OMG you have a hidden talent I want to fuck.. now.. and you know where I want it." And you have a good night, week, month... But then she realizes that you could keep a big secret like fucking writing stories, decent ones, from her for a long time, what else have you kept secret? Then that seed of mistrust is planted. That can happen too. This is a complex thing and the more I think about it the more I think it should remain a secret under any circumstance really.



nicola
Posted: Monday, April 02, 2012 12:42:09 AM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,645
Location: United Kingdom
Put down the pipe MF! laughing9 (POTW contender?)
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, April 02, 2012 12:43:11 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,079
Location: California
nicola wrote:
Put down the pipe MF! laughing9 (POTW contender?)


Its not the pipe, Its those pale ales!



Shylass
Posted: Monday, April 02, 2012 12:41:52 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,681
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Magical_felix wrote:
From my experience this is not a simple answer and is entirely a case by case thing. No girl will ever think "oh okay he writes porn stories on some fucked up sexy mybook dot com type shit... That's kinda cool, not really my thing but its cool I guess. Just a hobby." Then move along to talking about her favorite fucking sushi roll or some bitch at work who is hating on her or whatever. They will either think it's fucking awesome if they read it and like it and ask you to read their writing. OR they will read it and be like, "oh, that's something hehe" And be creeped for a bit.

So I would say that the right time would be when you are close enough to your partner that farting and pissing in front of them, if it is necessary due to unforeseen circumstances, has become something that can be done without batting an eye by either person. This is the type of closeness that transcends freaky fuck stories. So under those circumstances, the partner will think it cool and want to read it or think it dumb and just kinda think it's whatever. I will also say that whenever people have found out it has been because I leave lush open on my computer sometimes and I have been caught... I would probably never tell a girl about writing erotica unless they confessed they did or wanted to or they openly watched porn and loved it or were just twisted enough from my observations that they would like that. But mostly, I think It seems dorky or perverted to people that do not understand it or have read it before.

I agree with clum that erotica does not spice up a sex life. Not for me anyway. So do not mention it for these reasons.

Also, one more thing. Relationships are like chess not checkers. If you have been with a woman for a long time, I would call a long time a year or more. So say you started writing two months into your relationship and you have now been writing for about 10 months or so and you decide to tell her because she's a perv and she'll like it and she does when she reads it and she's like, "OMG you have a hidden talent I want to fuck.. now.. and you know where I want it." And you have a good night, week, month... But then she realizes that you could keep a big secret like fucking writing stories, decent ones, from her for a long time, what else have you kept secret? Then that seed of mistrust is planted. That can happen too. This is a complex thing and the more I think about it the more I think it should remain a secret under any circumstance really.


There is sooooo much I could reply, but I can encapsulate it all in this:

d'oh!



Thank you for your replies, everybody. d'oh!


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Buz
Posted: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 6:44:01 AM

Rank: The Linebacker
Moderator

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 8,067
Location: Atlanta, United States
I tried to confess once, but when I told the priest I was raised Baptist, attended a Presbyterian Church, graduated from UGA, and was a Lush member, he shrieked, cursed and pulled a gun, and chased me out of the building!



Ruthie
Posted: Friday, April 06, 2012 11:52:38 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,805
Location: United States
If you want an honest relationship with anyone it's best to be open about who you are and what you want. Otherwise you are closing the other person out of part of your life. If you write erotica do you really want a relationship with someone who is offended by erotica? Really though, it's better to have a relationship with someone who is also on Lush, then you won't have to worry about them finding out.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 07, 2012 6:23:44 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
During a particularly unpleasant texting argument this week I received the following message: "What about the shit you're doing on that S&M website?" So, apparently the jig is up, and I've missed my opportunity to confess. confused1 I could only reply that Lush is NOT an S&M website. Embarassed
tinascot
Posted: Saturday, April 07, 2012 8:30:29 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/3/2011
Posts: 1
Location: United Kingdom
Iam a 54 yr old cd who has a supportive fmily i just published my first story on another site, my wife has encouraged me to do this for years also my step daughter read it and thought it was very emotional
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 12, 2012 10:07:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
I should probably start by saying this... I hate pornography. I had an ex-boyfriend who was addicted to it, and watched it more than I ever had sex with him (and we were practically together all the time). I think it's incredibly disrespectful. If you love someone as much as you claim you do, then you shouldn't have to look at other girls (or guys). That being said, I would feel wrong being in a relationship where my partner didn't know about my "Lush" life.

I have been writing erotic literature for several months now. I've always loved to write... Poems, stories, anything. My love for erotic literature developed from a series of "sensual" poems I had written previously. A close friend of mine suggested that I join Lush to publish some of the stories I've written and to get opinions on them and my writing in general... And I have. I've received some very helpful hints as well as a ton if compliments and support that make me feel really good about my work! However, I don't think I could be involved in a relationship where my significant other did not know about this. I have a really guilty conscience and it just wouldn't work, I'd feel like I was cheating. I don't think you need to tell "casual" sex partners and friends about activity on here, but if a friendly relationship turns serious... It's definitely time to talk about it. Chances are your partner will be more supportive of it if you tell them up front than if you try to hide it and they find out on their own.
blazestcyr
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 8:37:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
why???why do this???to clear your heart??
Shylass
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 8:50:53 AM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,681
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
blazestcyr wrote:
why???why do this???to clear your heart??


It wouldn't be "clearing my heart" if I chose to share it (I presume you mean like confessing a dirty secret, etc?). It's simply that for me, what I do on Lush is something that is a large part of who I am at the moment. I have learned more and shared more on Lush than I ever did with a real-life person about some things, and it just struck me that maybe I would want to share that with a real-life partner if I ever had one. And I just wondered what other people thought about it, or what their experiences were. I like to think that if I did have a partner, I could share some of my history with them, part of which is the exploration that Lush has enabled for me.

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.