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A question for the fathers in here? Options · View
castlequeen
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2009 2:50:58 PM

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Posts: 597
OK, as my pregnancy has progressed, I've had to put up with losing my figure, food issues, and all sorts of things but now, I have the "Over Protective Husband" to deal with. I was changing a light bulb in the kitchen and he freaked out, "You could fall and hurt yourself and the baby!" Yes, I suppose I could fall off of the one foot stool I was standing on and reaching up to change it, but I'd most likely just land gently on my feet. He now insists on carrying the laundry basket for me because it's "too heavy" (he does not, however, actually DO the laundry, I'm apparently capable of that), but I can't carry that basket that weighs, oh, 10 pounds or so. Sure, having him carry in all the groceries is nice, but I'm pregnant, not an invalid!!!!
Did you guys go to insane lengths when your ladies were carrying your children?
I'm taking lots of pictures of him so I can tell our daughter what he was like after I kill him for driving me crazy!

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Guest
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2009 3:11:33 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,042
He's over protective. Simple way to cure his problem is to slip down to the floor, hold your stomach, and cry, "Help!!! I've fallen and I can't get up!!!" He'll see you're not an invalid. If he makes an issue of it, tell him he can refrain from making you pregnant in the future. I can't wait until the baby is born to see what he does the first time she falls down and breaks out crying. Good Luck!!!
EnGorged
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2009 3:24:30 PM

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Location: here then gone
I don't really agree with that. I carried things for my wife for all 3 children (and did laundry toward the end.... we had to get all new whites). Bending and lifting is dangerous enough if you don't do it right even when you aren't pregnant. As for falling off a stool, it's a very real concern with real consequences if it should happen. It sounds to me like you're an independent woman who likes doing things for herself and getting it done. You should maybe enjoy the treatment and tell him what needs done until the baby is born (and after!). I'm not saying don't do anything, just be smart about it. The most important from what my wife tells me is to be in as good shape as you can be for that delivery date. If you aren't walking or doing some kind of light exercise, START! She didn't for the first and it took her twice as long to recover from delivery.
Guest
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2009 6:13:21 PM

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I agree with everything En just said. Consider it respect and care for your welfare. Be glad you have a man who loves you and is really looking forward to having a baby. So what if he goes a little bit overboard in your eyes? These are special circumstances.
Guest
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2009 7:29:56 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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i agree with both. i understand that your husbadn telling u not to do stuff is annoying. i like doing things for myself as well but be thankful cuz in the future he'll be too busy drinking beers and watchign food ball with his friends to help do things around the house. good luck and tell us how the baby is when she's born.
EnGorged
Posted: Tuesday, September 29, 2009 8:12:51 AM

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Location: here then gone
elenai1230 wrote:
he'll be too busy drinking beers and watchign food ball with his friends to help do things around the house. good luck and tell us how the baby is when she's born.


Well... that AND working 80 hours a week to support the little money vacuum! binky
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, September 29, 2009 8:54:52 AM

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Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
roccotool wrote:
I agree with everything En just said. Consider it respect and care for your welfare. Be glad you have a man who loves you and is really looking forward to having a baby. So what if he goes a little bit overboard in your eyes? These are special circumstances.


ditto guys. Lapplause And, if I may, I'd like to share an analogy of what is probably happening to CQ's fella.

Before you were pregnant you were a team of capable healthy adults, once you became pregnant it became akin to the "vulnerability fairy" coming along one night, removing the fellas heart from the safety of his chest cavity and pinning it to the outside of his upper right arm. That's where he is right now - ultra protective of his china doll. We guys have no comprehension of what your body goes through and we just want to help.

Enjoy it, because once the rug rat arrives his 'protective' focus will probably shift. Oh, and try to remember his good deeds and spare his life as your hormone levels come crashing down after the pregnancy and you turn into Satan. L46

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, September 29, 2009 9:10:48 AM

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Joined: 9/25/2009
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Girl, just be glad he's there. Whole lotta women out there with no daddy for their baby.
Algol
Posted: Tuesday, September 29, 2009 10:22:28 AM

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Location: In search of a warm place, United States
Enjoy the attention he is giving you and the time you have alone together.

Algol

stareader123
Posted: Tuesday, September 29, 2009 8:31:34 PM

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Joined: 7/13/2009
Posts: 1
Both of my wife's pregancies brought us much closer together. My wife is a very self-sufficient person, so I didn't obsess on protecting her while in a "delicate condition" but I did try to be as helpful as she needed to be. During her second pregnancy we had some of the best sex of our lives, because she was sooo horny.

Both of our sons were born at home with midwives, and preparing for that really brought us together.
DrHouse
Posted: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 10:17:59 PM

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Location: Vsncouver, United States
I was never over-protective as that, though I was concerned about my wife's overall well-being, especially as her pregnancy progressed. Now, however, I'm more concerned for my daughter than anything. Kids are the best.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 1, 2009 9:01:12 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Papa of two...just enjoy the loving concern I think it is awesome that you posted this...gave me a big ol smile. I have one of each and I'll tell you now, if you/he know it's a girl, this is only the beginning of crazy father/daughter shit. The fathers on this site could all right a book on the wonderful relationship that develops with their daughters...especailly around dating time!

And beside...one of you is going through the wonderful world of changing hormones...maybe a factor on perspective icon_smile
singlefireman
Posted: Thursday, October 1, 2009 11:09:15 AM

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Joined: 7/10/2009
Posts: 93
Location: fresh from the devils playground, United States
I have been doing that to a lesser degree with my gf. she due here in like 2 weeks. yes i will admit i have been a little overprotective, but only in the last 2 months when it has become difficult for her to do things. i am also very protective of my twin sons, and her daughter as well. i know exactly what it will be like when the baby is born. It will get worse lol. the drill sgt in me coming out again. LOL. Enjoy it Castle it wont last forever.

Bouncing is what Tiggers do best!!!!! So can i make you bounce?
Tagnikzuur
Posted: Thursday, October 1, 2009 2:31:43 PM

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Joined: 7/27/2009
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CQ, I feel I must echo the sentiments of most people who have posted about this subject/question. Your husband does NOT see you as an invalid, rather, he sees you as the mother of your (collectively) children and he only wants to protect you. (BTW, you can thank hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and our hunter/gatherer ancestors for that.) You should also be at least a little bit thankful. I've heard stories of husbands who could hardly be bothered to show any kind of protective tenancies during their wife's pregnancy or even during the delivery (IF the SOB even bothered to show up for that.) His hovering around you or being there in an instant whenever he hears you move may be a bit annoying but, afterall, he IS showing you LOVE and concern about you and your well-being.
castlequeen
Posted: Thursday, October 1, 2009 3:27:49 PM

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Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 597


Jason9035 wrote:
And beside...one of you is going through the wonderful world of changing hormones...maybe a factor on perspective icon_smile

Oy vey, the hormones can be a killer! We had a long talk and it's probably 98% hormones and my feeling like I'm not pulling my weight as I progress. I'm going to try to accept that it's just concern for both of us, not a slur on my abilities.


Jason9035 wrote:
Papa of two...just enjoy the loving concern I think it is awesome that you posted this...gave me a big ol smile. I have one of each and I'll tell you now, if you/he know it's a girl, this is only the beginning of crazy father/daughter shit. The fathers on this site could all right a book on the wonderful relationship that develops with their daughters...especailly around dating time!


Latest checkup accidentally confirmed it for us, but it's definitely a girl!! Last night we went to dinner and there were a bunch of little girls all dolled up for the father-daughter dance and hubby got all misty eyed, knowing that one day he'll be there with her. Of course, he's also checking out shotguns. Myself on the other hand, I am sooo looking forward to teaching her about all the important things in life; accessorizing, shoes, shopping, and being ten different kinds of girly.

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 1, 2009 3:38:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,042
castlequeen wrote:


Jason9035 wrote:
And beside...one of you is going through the wonderful world of changing hormones...maybe a factor on perspective icon_smile

Oy vey, the hormones can be a killer! We had a long talk and it's probably 98% hormones and my feeling like I'm not pulling my weight as I progress. I'm going to try to accept that it's just concern for both of us, not a slur on my abilities.


Jason9035 wrote:
Papa of two...just enjoy the loving concern I think it is awesome that you posted this...gave me a big ol smile. I have one of each and I'll tell you now, if you/he know it's a girl, this is only the beginning of crazy father/daughter shit. The fathers on this site could all right a book on the wonderful relationship that develops with their daughters...especailly around dating time!


Latest checkup accidentally confirmed it for us, but it's definitely a girl!! Last night we went to dinner and there were a bunch of little girls all dolled up for the father-daughter dance and hubby got all misty eyed, knowing that one day he'll be there with her. Of course, he's also checking out shotguns. Myself on the other hand, I am sooo looking forward to teaching her about all the important things in life; accessorizing, shoes, shopping, and being ten different kinds of girly.



Bravo Queenie....well done!
hello1
LethyDave
Posted: Thursday, October 1, 2009 8:49:22 PM

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If you can do it go for it, over protective. But he obviously loves you.
Bunny12
Posted: Saturday, October 3, 2009 10:12:59 PM

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Milk it for all it's worth because it won't last forever. You are lucky!

Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Monocle
Posted: Sunday, October 4, 2009 8:26:50 PM

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Joined: 2/19/2007
Posts: 301
Late to the thread, but I think you have the right take on it. Husbands may not be experiencing the same physical changes, but they're going through a wringer of their own - most of a pregnancy is completely out of the father's control, so there's a certain amount of anxiety there. Because he can't do anything to help with that part, he has to do something.

The only two words I have to add, however are "Pregnancy Massage". If CastleKing has not learned and begun practicing this on you yet, tell him to stop lifeguarding the kitchen stool and get to the library. Neither of you will be sorry.
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 5, 2009 6:37:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,042
I'd quit the moaning, and enjoy it, coz if you ever divorce you be thinking of all the stuff like you jsut mentioned that you'd be missing, and you'll be kicking yourself.
I would have loved my ex husband to have been protective about me, but he couldn't have cared less.

Sorry to be having a bit of a rant Queeny, me not had a good start to a Monday.

I'm having a man monday grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry queeny.


Just love him, and let him do it, men like to feel wanted and needed.
castlequeen
Posted: Monday, October 5, 2009 10:38:16 PM

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Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 597
It's actually improved, and I figured out that all of those little nagging jobs I could never get him to do before? Threaten to do them myself and he RUNS to get them done! He missed 15 minutes of the third quarter yesterday finishing raking the yard. I love the guy!
Interesting point Monocle, and the massage sounds like it'll be enjoyable!

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
mrplow
Posted: Monday, October 5, 2009 11:50:45 PM

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Joined: 1/5/2007
Posts: 1,030
Location: Here and now
I was like that with our first child.

After the novelty wore off, we're now on our second pregnancy, and I just let her get on with it. It's a natural male instinct to be protective. Don't give him a hard time over it.
Mr_Sfstk8d
Posted: Wednesday, October 7, 2009 4:11:31 PM

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Joined: 10/7/2009
Posts: 232
Location: Peoria, IL
I've got four kids. Plus I came from a big family myself. Being the oldest, I've been around pregnant women, infants and children of all sizes for all of my life. Oh, and my mother used to be VERY active in La Leche League, an international Women's and Babies organization, big on nutrition and breast feeding. Consequently, I'd seen more tits by 5 than most guys see in a lifetime.

But, that said, yeah, the first kid is the 'experiment' child. After a few, things become sort of more routine. If you haven't yet, have your husband read What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. I forget the authors, but they're INVALUABLE!!
Mr_Sfstk8d
Posted: Wednesday, October 7, 2009 4:12:14 PM

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Joined: 10/7/2009
Posts: 232
Location: Peoria, IL
Oh, BTW, have you progressed into the "horny-mester" yet?
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 20, 2010 11:45:08 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 821,042
you hate him now,but if someday day your daughter should be pregnant and you see her husband doing the same thing,i bet you say what a nice man he is,so save some time and be happy u have a man who Loves u that much.
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