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A guy walks into a bar ......... Options · View
hotairgasm
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 8:19:25 AM

Rank: Balloonmeister

Joined: 12/25/2009
Posts: 2,211
Location: In the clouds, United States
Magic Apple

Have you ever had an "Airgasm"? Take a sexy ride in a hot air balloon and enjoy the view from a mile high.

Mile High Club in a Balloon
WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 9:14:03 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States
evil5 6

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
sprite
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 9:20:01 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,768
Location: My Tower, United States
ROFL



Love not hate.
lafayettemister
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 9:31:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,507
Location: Alabama, United States
Hahahaha





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
ponyboy
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 9:54:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/7/2011
Posts: 384
Location: United States
A pirate walks into a bar, the beertender says ''hey matey, theres a steering wheel comin out the top of your pants!"
The pirate says''Aye! It's drivin me nuts''.Regaeman Man

ponyboy
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 9:57:52 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/7/2011
Posts: 384
Location: United States
A big ole termite walks into a bar, thumps his fist on the bar, and says ''Is the bartender here?''Regaeman Man

Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 5:17:29 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
I love that joke. I can't believe they made a video out of it!! evil4
Naughtygrl73
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 10:29:33 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
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Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,515
Location: The temple of Naughty, Australia
lol this in now my favourite way to to 'hear' a joke
lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 7:56:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,507
Location: Alabama, United States
Two nuns walked into a bar, the third one ducked....





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
clum
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 8:20:40 AM

Rank: Clumeleon
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Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 5,954
Location: United Kingdom
HA!

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 8:33:10 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
A skeleton walks into a bar...

He asks for a pint of lager and a mop...
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 8:35:02 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,903
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States



You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

clum
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 8:46:47 AM

Rank: Clumeleon
Moderator

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 5,954
Location: United Kingdom
A countably infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint; the second orders a half pint; the third orders a quarter pint...

The bartender sighs, says, "You guys are idiots," and pours two pints.

DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 8:58:28 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,903
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
clum wrote:
A countably infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint; the second orders a half pint; the third orders a quarter pint...

The bartender sighs, says, "You guys are idiots," and pours two pints.


Oh dear...we're getting into the mathematical humor...now I'm going to have to start drinking for real...

Believe it or not, there is a variation on that one...

A countably infinite number of men walked into a bar...
http://plus.maths.org/content/countably-infinite-number-men-walked-bar


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

clum
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 9:26:31 AM

Rank: Clumeleon
Moderator

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 5,954
Location: United Kingdom
DirtyMartini wrote:
Believe it or not, there is a variation on that one...

A countably infinite number of men walked into a bar...
http://plus.maths.org/content/countably-infinite-number-men-walked-bar


I like that one better. A joke is always improved by throwing in a pun.

sweet_as_candy
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:39:25 AM

Rank: Sydney Slider
Moderator

Joined: 5/28/2012
Posts: 3,462
Location: In the library
Haha!! :D very good





Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:49:32 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar...

It was tense...
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:50:57 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
Two scientists walk into a bar.

The first orders a pint of H2O, the second orders a pint of H2O too

He died...

Ha!

Dudealicious
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 2:43:56 PM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,664
Location: The center of the universe, Canada


The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:21:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
Michael
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:41:36 PM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,006
Location: Somewhere with Sun and Sea, United States
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.

The man stands up again and makes another offer: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.



"I'll try," says a small woman, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."





Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:52:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
sugarbabe
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:57:47 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States


sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


Michael
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:58:48 PM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,006
Location: Somewhere with Sun and Sea, United States


Oh shucks... tough crowd.... btw





A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...






Guest
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 5:59:46 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
Guest
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 7:59:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
A guy walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please and one for the road."
sugarbabe
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 10:22:56 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States
Two blondes walk into the bar....You'd think one of them would of seen it?

*couldn't resist*
d'oh!

sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 2, 2012 8:28:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy." She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 2, 2012 8:36:02 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
scooter
Posted: Saturday, June 2, 2012 8:57:36 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Cowboy: Gimmie three packs of condoms.

Chemist: Will you be needing a bag sir?

Cowboy: Nope - I got one at home.
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