Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

I am Bi-Polar/Manic Depressive. (I suffer from a mental illness called Cyclothymia.) Options · View
latinfoxy
Posted: Sunday, June 10, 2012 7:27:48 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/5/2011
Posts: 816
Location: Here
Steph, the fact that you posted this, shows how much more stronger you are than this diseases, never forget that! and if you do, just read this thread and remember all the crazy, adorable, supporting people you have here backing you up!!

Tons of kisses and hugs for my favorite English teacher!!
Guest
Posted: Sunday, June 10, 2012 9:06:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,474
I admire your courage. To tell such a personal thing to someone that you know is one thing and very admirable, to tell it to potentially millions of strangers is quite another and shows that you are, though on a downer at the moment, in control of your mental illness (as an aside, I think the term mental illness is quite cruel, but what else is there for it?). I wish you all the best health and my prayers are with you.
FelineFantasy
Posted: Sunday, June 10, 2012 9:14:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/14/2011
Posts: 387
I had a condition similar to yours, but let's not venture too far down that path. All I can do is commend you, not pity you. I mean wow! Takes some mega balls to wear your heart on your sleeve to that severity. Just remain diligent, don't make any actions for the sake of anyone else but yourself but always with the thought that drives your passion- be it negative or positive. I often find when I reflect on some of my dullest moments, it gives me that extra "oomph" to keep trucking on forward. Can't let it bring you down, because it's in the past! Believe in yourself hun, life's too short to even care at all.

Click > here < to read my first feature story, Techno Aphrodite by Piquet!
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Sunday, June 10, 2012 9:46:04 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,551
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Wow, I am really late to this thread and just wanted to give a big hug to one of the most talented and creative people on this site. It's pretty hard to genuinely make me laugh out loud, and Steph is one of the few people that manages to do it with practically every single post... except this one of course. My thoughts go out to you... I can't imagine what you continue to go through battling this, but I do know that bipolar is one of the most underdiagnosed disorders on the map right now. Much of the suicidal stats come from people that are misdiagnosed as having Depression and end up on SSRIs which pretty much is the worst drug you can be put on if you are actually Bipolar because it's affecting the wrong receptors and can cause someone to spiral into darker domain very quickly.

Half the battle is in recognizing and understanding the nature of the beast you're fighting. In that way you can anticipate and in some ways intellectualize some of what you're going through and know that you're not alone and that even in your darkest hours, this too shall pass and you'll come to a place where you're on the upswing again. Just know that you such a positive force in so many people's lives - you shine brighter than the others, and with that you affect people more immediately... you stand out from the pack without even trying. That in itself is a rare gift that we all appreciate and admire.

So, my friend - the truth is - you inspire, whether you intend to or not. And you are a fighter... and this battle won't get the best of you. There's a lot of second line infantry here that are happy to stand behind you and support you in your fight so don't you dare ever think of giving up!

XO Blondie

hartclass
Posted: Monday, June 11, 2012 4:40:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/3/2008
Posts: 386
Location: United Kingdom
Hey Steph,

Depression is still one of those illnesses that people still don't like to talk about yet mental health is something that will effect most of us at some point during out life. Thank you for being so brave and bringing it into the open - is is a subject that needs to be openly discussed because until it is it will remain in the dark. Unfortunately for people who suffer from mental health issues the one thing the really need is support and understanding and whilst it remains a taboo subject it makes it hard to get that support.

Luckily for you - Lush and the genuine people here will give you that support because as you know there are few subjects here that are not shared. I wish you all the best - the Lush community is here for you! X

lafayettemister
Posted: Monday, June 11, 2012 8:29:18 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,428
Location: Alabama, United States
You're a brave man to be able to post this on the internet. And the many people who have responded with their own issues are braves as well. Moreso than I could ever be.

I wish you all the best.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
CharlotteRusse1
Posted: Tuesday, June 19, 2012 9:38:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/9/2011
Posts: 224
Location: United States
I'm also very late to this thread but I wanted chime in with a supportive 2c.

I have a lot of experience with BP II and depression in my family.

Work with your doctors to get the meds right and keep your friends close. Getting the right medicine and therapy can take months, years.. And then your body changes and it can all go to pot. But.. we keep on trying.

Have you seen the musical "Next to Normal"? I'd like to see it myself. It's supposed to be painfully funny.

Thanks for being brave and honest. Every time someone talks about mental health in public, it reduces the stigma for someone else.

Writer of amateur erotica since 2011..See the latest at:

[url=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-chaise-lounge.aspx]
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012 11:17:12 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,474
Steph:

I admire your courage so much. I have had problems with depression for most of my life, but I seriously doubt I could be so open and honest about it in front of God and everybody.

I wish all good things to you.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 10:40:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,474
I wanted to bring this back to the forefront, since I and several of my friends have symptoms very similar to what Steph describes.

Life can be extraordinarily difficult for people who wonder, as Steph so well puts it, what kind of people they truly are. The potential for self-doubt and self-destruction is almost limitless. I think I try all too hard to "help" people without thinking things through, and quite often can't understand what people are thinking.

Could you post on this topic, anyone who reads it?
sprite
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 12:18:54 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,270
Location: My Tower, United States
I have always dealt with depression. There have been a lot of situational reasons which explained a lot of it, and I've done a few stints with Anti-Ds (welbutrin) to help me through some difficult periods as well as being in and out of therapy on occasion. Shortly after Christmas last year I took a real nose dive - not going to go into the details, but it ended up with me being clinically diagnosed as manic-depressive/bi-polar. I am on proper meds now as well as being back in therapy. It's taking some adjusting. I can honestly say that I hate the meds I'm taking, but at this point in my life, I feel I no longer have a choice. It's just something that I have to learn to accept. *shrugs* Hopefully I will adjust better over time. I miss the highs, quite honestly, that are part of my disease, but the lows that come with it are no longer something I can live (quite literally) with.

Anyway, sorry for resurrecting an old thread, but I just felt the need to share that, knowing that I'm not alone, wanting others to know that they are not alone either.



Live, love, laugh.
HeraTeleia
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 1:04:22 PM

Rank: Top Shot

Joined: 1/25/2014
Posts: 1,026
Location: Canada
Steph, I hope that you are by now on a solid medication regimen, and that it is helping you. I have had mild, garden-variety depression and anxiety for just over 20 years, and it took many, many years to a) find the right doctor and b) find the right medication mix, but I have been stable for well over a decade now.

I never had thoughts of self-harming, so that is why my diagnosis is tagged "mild"; to me, in that dark corner, it's the most terrifying place in the world. Nothing "mild" about it. I've been on Lexapro (escitalopram) 20 mg/day PO and clonazapam 2-4mg BID PO for about five years, and it's worked really well. I also have alprazolam (Xanax) on hand to lyse the occasional anxiety attack (they're like the weaker brother to a panic attack, something I've never experienced, thank G-d). Anyway, I just want you to know that there are many, many people out there who have been to that dark corner and have come back out again.

As our darling Sprite said, you are not alone.

My first story, a Recommended Read: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/my-favourite-word.aspx

Want it all? Masturbation, exhibitionism, seduction, and of course, sex? Read "Tension", a Recommended Read: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/tension-1.aspx

stephanie
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 1:45:05 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,334
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
sprite wrote:
I have always dealt with depression. There have been a lot of situational reasons which explained a lot of it, and I've done a few stints with Anti-Ds (welbutrin) to help me through some difficult periods as well as being in and out of therapy on occasion. Shortly after Christmas last year I took a real nose dive - not going to go into the details, but it ended up with me being clinically diagnosed as manic-depressive/bi-polar. I am on proper meds now as well as being back in therapy. It's taking some adjusting. I can honestly say that I hate the meds I'm taking, but at this point in my life, I feel I no longer have a choice. It's just something that I have to learn to accept. *shrugs* Hopefully I will adjust better over time. I miss the highs, quite honestly, that are part of my disease, but the lows that come with it are no longer something I can live (quite literally) with.

Anyway, sorry for resurrecting an old thread, but I just felt the need to share that, knowing that I'm not alone, wanting others to know that they are not alone either.



Oh My Pet!!!!!!!!!

How long has it been with us??? FUCKING FIVE YEARS!!!!! Love and WAR in that time with us!!! Cuddles and SCRAPES!!!!!!!! (THREE strands at work... My FRIEND... A fellow WRITER... A COLLEAGUE for years...)

(Only the WRITER thing not without hassle...) Can't argue with HER talent...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! I TRUST AND RESPECT YOU. We FIGHT like CUNTS at times, like you DO with people YOU FUCKING ADORE!!! I STAY HERE BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!

Hun, MORE THAN MOST I GET IT!!! (OMG how I GET it...)

Watch THIS:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpN_8UYI4as


(I COULD NOT BE THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON I TRULY BELIEVE I AM WITHOUT MY BI-POLAR...) I certainly could not be AN ARTIST without it...

And AT LEAST once a DAY I dream of... Well, you know...

But you FIGHT it... (I always say I have DEMONS in my head that want to HURT me, so I have to remember that THEY ARE NOT THE REAL ME... Most of the time I have the UPPER-HAND... Other times they shout louder than I can... That's beyond scary... (Dancey Wicked Cunts!) I make that joke but there can be TERRIFIED crying...

I CAN'T take MEDS because I'm an Ex-Junkie, so I'm not comfortable with being medicated... (And I have other medical issues...)

Sister, It's NOT EASY and IT CAUSES PROBLEMS and IT WON'T GO AWAY!!! But FUCK IT!!!!!! FIGHT IT FIGHT IT FIGHT IT!!!!!!! And TALK ABOUT IT...


(Some of the MOST BRILLIANT PEOPLE ON EARTH have been Bi-Polar...)

I've NEVER been anything else, so I don't KNOW what "normal" means. (I KNOW most NORMAL people don't dream of never waking up...) But...

Most NORMAL people don't SING, WRITE, TELL JOKES or LOVE with the passion I do... SO you balance the book and cope as best you can...

Being Bi-Polar WILL NOT (in my experience...) stop you from being loved...

So it could be worse... I mean...

NICOLA: "FUCKING DON'T!!!"

Me: "Not today, Soup... SMILES!!!"

xx Stephen













"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
Naughtygrl73
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 2:08:43 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,475
Location: The temple of Naughty, Australia
sprite wrote:


Anyway, sorry for resurrecting an old thread, but I just felt the need to share that, knowing that I'm not alone, wanting others to know that they are not alone either.




There are no words to describe the love and affection I hold for you.
Xx
stephanie
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 2:23:27 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,334
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
Naughtygrl73 wrote:



There are no words to describe the love and affection I hold for you.
Xx


You could TRY you lazy fucking bitch...

xx SF

"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
Dirty_D
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 2:36:01 PM

Rank: Head Nurse
Moderator

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,483
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
sprite wrote:
I have always dealt with depression. There have been a lot of situational reasons which explained a lot of it, and I've done a few stints with Anti-Ds (welbutrin) to help me through some difficult periods as well as being in and out of therapy on occasion. Shortly after Christmas last year I took a real nose dive - not going to go into the details, but it ended up with me being clinically diagnosed as manic-depressive/bi-polar. I am on proper meds now as well as being back in therapy. It's taking some adjusting. I can honestly say that I hate the meds I'm taking, but at this point in my life, I feel I no longer have a choice. It's just something that I have to learn to accept. *shrugs* Hopefully I will adjust better over time. I miss the highs, quite honestly, that are part of my disease, but the lows that come with it are no longer something I can live (quite literally) with.

Anyway, sorry for resurrecting an old thread, but I just felt the need to share that, knowing that I'm not alone, wanting others to know that they are not alone either.



*hugs and all my love*

Id say more, but like the lovely naughty one, I wont here or now.
curvygalore
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 2:40:48 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/22/2010
Posts: 444
Location: United Kingdom
These illnesses are an absolute bugger Sprite. Although I don't really know you I thought something might be very wrong recently, so thank you for sharing. A diagnosis can actually be an additional burden, especially with the unpleasantness of medication so I'm glad you felt you could reach out for understanding here. I'm not a sufferer myself, just close to people who deal with this (and other related conditions) so it makes sense to extend my support to online friends (you and the other brave souls who have posted on this thread) coping with these issues xx
billybroadband
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 2:48:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/29/2013
Posts: 1,004
Location: United States
My wife was bi-polar. As others have said, proper treatment is amazing these days. It took a long time, but her doctors found the right combination of drugs and therapy and she controlled it for many years. I could always tell from her affect when she needed an 'adjustment' and I was surprised at how effectively they treated her. So, it can be controlled.


Sometimes I am so aware of all the beauty this world holds....then I fuck up and watch the evening news.
sprite
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 2:58:08 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,270
Location: My Tower, United States
billybroadband wrote:
My wife was bi-polar. As others have said, proper treatment is amazing these days. It took a long time, but her doctors found the right combination of drugs and therapy and she controlled it for many years. I could always tell from her affect when she needed an 'adjustment' and I was surprised at how effectively they treated her. So, it can be controlled.


Pretty much sure that we're still working on doses... first few weeks i was in zombieland - of course, there were sedatives involved too - i was not in good shape. i still am up and down, but it's not as severe as it had been - i find myself crying a lot - and god, it's been hard on my friends and my wife, which is the worst part - also? my sex drive has suffered dramatically... :p

Live, love, laugh.
Naughtygrl73
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 3:03:12 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,475
Location: The temple of Naughty, Australia
stephanie wrote:


You could TRY you lazy fucking bitch...

xx SF


*slaps steph upside the head*

Sometimes less is more. If you had any class, you'd know that.

*kisses his forhead* it's okay love, apparently you're loved too.
stephanie
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2015 6:12:36 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,334
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
Naughtygrl73 wrote:


*slaps steph upside the head*

Sometimes less is more. If you had any class, you'd know that.

*kisses his forhead* it's okay love, apparently you're loved too.


Class? ME???

(You gotta be fucking kidding...)

xx SF

"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
billybroadband
Posted: Monday, February 02, 2015 5:02:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/29/2013
Posts: 1,004
Location: United States
[Pretty much sure that we're still working on doses... first few weeks i was in zombieland - of course, there were sedatives involved too - i was not in good shape. i still am up and down, but it's not as severe as it had been - i find myself crying a lot - and god, it's been hard on my friends and my wife, which is the worst part - also? my sex drive has suffered dramatically... :p]

All of that sounds so familiar. Unfortunately, there was no 'quick fix'. It takes time. But I'm telling you, even though it seems so impossible to believe when one is in the deep slide of it, there will be sunshine at the end of that tunnel. Don't stop hoping. Good luck.

Sometimes I am so aware of all the beauty this world holds....then I fuck up and watch the evening news.
dpw
Posted: Monday, February 02, 2015 7:00:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 4,451
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
stephanie wrote:


You could TRY you lazy fucking bitch...

xx SF

You are fucking magic. You never fail to make me smile.
katie1984
Posted: Monday, February 02, 2015 8:48:02 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/25/2009
Posts: 44
Location: United Kingdom
Some of you may know that I have bi polar disorder, and have lived with the symptoms since my early teens. I was diagnosed when I was 23, following a suicide attempt. Im now 30. Im still here. I still struggle. The medications are a blunt instrument. The side effects are horrible. But the illness is worse. Stephanie, my thoughts are with you along the road of recovery. xxxx
stephanie
Posted: Monday, February 02, 2015 11:44:01 AM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,334
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
katie1984 wrote:
Some of you may know that I have bi polar disorder, and have lived with the symptoms since my early teens. I was diagnosed when I was 23, following a suicide attempt. Im now 30. Im still here. I still struggle. The medications are a blunt instrument. The side effects are horrible. But the illness is worse. Stephanie, my thoughts are with you along the road of recovery. xxxx


And MY THOUGHTS with you... (FIGHT IT!!!) It's NOT ALL WE ARE...

Not a bit of all we are, really... (Okay, a BIT!)

xx SF

"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
tiddlywink
Posted: Wednesday, February 04, 2015 6:38:39 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 118
Location: a different plane from the rest of the world, Unit
I feel compelled to add to this thread.

Five years ago, I was struck with bouts of depression and anxiety. It had an enormous impact on my life and blighted my youth. My behaviour became increasingly bizarre and negative, and I soon became withdrawn from society. I found great difficulty in establishing friendships and sought solace in solitude. My emotions became suppressed and I was devastated to find my creative mind turned to mush.

The doctors' diagnosis was that I was suffering from personality disorder, but that conclusion was never definitive.

Toward the end of last year, I experienced an episode of extreme happiness and hyperactivity. It was the most liberating and exhilarating experience of my life, literally indescribable. It was as if all the positive emotion I had suppressed over the years had suddenly exploded to the surface. I felt a confidence that I had never felt before, self-worth, and a sex drive that I never knew existed. It was liberating, exciting and inspiring all at once. It lasted for weeks and I was subsequently diagnosed as bipolar.

I refuse to take prescription medication, mood stabilisers especially. They make me feel icky and will only plunge me back into the doldrums. I feel I've been given a new lease on life and wish to take full advantage of it.

I am only giving people an honest insight into my life. I am not in any way trying to glamourise mental illness. As I said before, it has devastated years of my life. I do not know what the future holds, but I have a theory. Maybe not a practical theory, but a theory nonetheless.

If I can ride out the lows, harness the highs, and try to make sense of it all when I fall back to a state of emotional equilibrium, I believe I can achieve true greatness.

I wish to thank sprite for resurrecting this thread and those who have made a contribution. It has given me great comfort to know that I am indeed not alone in my fight against adversity. If you should ever need a friend, I am at your service.

I love you all. love10
silveranode
Posted: Friday, February 06, 2015 10:26:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2012
Posts: 257
Location: Brisbane Southside, Australia
Sword Fight
As I keep telling people, I'm Bi.
Nutbag Just wait until the Polar kicks in. Nutbag
sign3
amy221
Posted: Friday, February 20, 2015 3:32:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/5/2012
Posts: 748
Location: Canada
Hi Steph, sorry I don't really know you, but you are not alone. I to deal with MD and bi-polar. The double downs are are a real bitch. I also suffer from PPMS and have had two strokes related to that in the last 4 years, I'm only 44. But I'm fortunate, I'm quite secure financially, and have round the clock private care, in my own home. Its only quite recently that I've been able to type a bit, right thumb, index and middle fingers work fairly well. BTW thats the cause of my long absence from this site. You have, not my sympathy, but my admiration. I'm sure that I'd be dead by now if not for some significant wealth. Your courage exceeds mine.

Big Respect,

amy


love, amy
trinket
Posted: Monday, March 02, 2015 2:56:43 AM

Rank: Funky Fashionista

Joined: 8/18/2014
Posts: 1,998
Location: Losing my mind, Australia
Hi Steph. I found this thread not long after I first joined lush and the quote below is what I posted to you at the time, almost 3 years ago. Nobody else has mentioned this so just wanted to throw it in here again for anyone who might want to ask their doctor about it. The epilepsy meds are used as a mood stabiliser instead of lithium where lithium is not tolerated well by someone. These meds have far less side effects also. Some used here are lamictal (lamotragine), tegretol, epilim (sodium valproate). They have been used to treat Bi-polar Disorders type I and II. I'm not bi-polar but am close to someone who is and it tears me apart to watch when they are having a particularly bad internal battle with themselves during a low mood swing. I'll be thinking of you sweets, and don't ever give up the fight. I'm another person you can feel free to reach out to any time. if you need to talk to someone.

Guest wrote:
Hi Stephanie, I'm not sure if you are aware, there are several new drug treatments for Bi-polar, most of which are primarily used for epilepsy. These drugs are used instead of Lithium as the mood stabiliser and work very well for some people. Lithium is not the answer for everybody, just wanted to mention it in case you didn't know. you are a very courageous person and NEVER give up the fight hun.




The Searing Hot Rush - A Recommended Read.
I Lust A Clown
My Gift
Duplicitous SIN - A Recommended Read
Put It In My Ass
That Slut
He Loves Me...No He Fucking Doesn't!
Kidnapped, Teased and Fucked for Fun
. -
Romeo & Juliet... Revisited. A recommended read
playsit
Posted: Monday, March 02, 2015 7:10:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/26/2011
Posts: 395
Location: Northeastern Untied Sates, United States
stephanie wrote:
I am Bi-Polar/Manic Depressive. (I suffer from a mental illness called Cyclothymia.)

I have lived with this condition all my life. I was diagnosed in my early 20s, but the 'treatment' of the condition, in my case the use of the drug lithium, I found less than helpful. The drug did indeed stabilise my moods, but in doing so seemed to rob me of my very personality, turning me into a kind of zombie. On lithium, I found I lost my sense of humour, my creative drive, my joy in just being alive, my very sense of self. I currently take no meds for my illness.



Steph,

I know you wrote this a whole ago. I hope you have found your way out of the hole you were in... at least temporarily. I too am an artist, musician, worker of wood and a writer . My whole life is centered around being creative. Even my profession as an electrical designer centers around it.

I just finished treatment for prostate cancer. Part of the treatment was the combination of drugs to obliterate my testosterone, which not only removed my desire for sex, but all my passions. I spent the whole year as a walking cumquate.

I completely understand your decision to stop taking lithium. An artist needs to feel, something... anything, even if it is painful and depressive. I stopped taking my meds after only a year - two years before the docs wanted me to. I couldn't handle it even knowing it was temporary.

You have many friends here who care about you - I can tell while rummaging through the forums. I'm glad you feel comfortable with a post of this nature. Sometimes it can be healing to a certain degree to just talk openly about it.

I'm another of many who you can talk to if you need.

Hugs
stephanie
Posted: Wednesday, March 04, 2015 5:07:07 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,334
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland

So many responses on this one, all understanding, supportive, positive...

I don't really know what to add, apart from something that recently came up in conversation with a friend of mine here, (PRINCIPESSA) ...

The WRITING, I find, is a great help in dealing with these kind of issues. Because the writing itself stands alone. There is no baggage, no excuse, no SIDE, no explanation or expectation.

The Piece Is Just The Piece.`It stands alone.

I AM NOT a MD/Bi-Polar writer once my stuff goes up. I'm just a writer. Moreover, 99% of the people who read me have NO IDEA who I am, and quite correctly, care less!!

The writing is yours and yours alone. If it is good, (and I believe some of mine, not all obviously, is, in whatever style or guise) and if, by the BEAUTIFUL interactive nature of our site you can see that THE WORK touches, pleases and affects others, that can be very affirming. Put quite simply, there IS more to what you have to offer others than the fact that you battle a sometimes debilitating mental condition.

The work proves that.

It's worth saying that, at least in my case, I can go weeks without the kind of crushing self-hatred that is part-and-parcel of my condition. I have many friends here who will confirm this. Normally (?) I'm quite a happy-go-lucky guy. I like nothing more than to interact with fellow members, help out where I can, and appreciate the talent I read here daily.

But I'll offer a rather silly if true analogy. Imagine you are a bottle of Pepsi Cola. You bumble about doing the thing Pepsi Cola bottles do... And THEN somebody or some thing WITH NO WARNING pops your cap and suddenly there is an explosion of fizz everywhere. (That's what it's like...) Not a great analogy I know, but even for those of us who suffer, it's a TERRIBLY hard thing to understand or explain.

And IT IS isolating, embarrassing and horrible. One DOES feel weak and inadequate. The kindness of every poster here truly touches my heart.

Thank you friends, fellow writers and site members.


xx Stephen

"Stirring Up The Smooth Sands Of Monotony Since 1967." xx SF
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.