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Pixie
Posted: Sunday, August 02, 2009 9:50:44 AM

Rank: Flutterby Pharie

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,980
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 02, 2009 10:41:50 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,307
Pixie no expert here by any means but could be some guys are just afraid to show off a softer side of themselves? Ya know? But me I have had a couple friends and relatives start crying for different reasons I didn't offer any advice to them at the time was just there to give them a hug and hold them if they nedded it and that alone seemed to work well. Hope that helps ya.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 02, 2009 1:06:58 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,307
How do us girls cope when we see our men cry, I wonder how many women are sympathetic for them, Just a thought..............
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 04, 2009 11:46:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,307
Pixie wrote:
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?



First you get them to let you hold'em....then you get their head on your shoulder and let them go a while...then you whisper in her ear "talk to me". You listen carefully...hold them tighter when they need it...don't offer ideas, just your shoulder and arms. Gently wipe the tears from her face and reassure her "we'll get through this together".

Bascially they need to talk/vent which helps get it started...then help her if she wants you to.

Or when they start crying....during your love making but you are still going strong....then they start crying in your arms in mid-thrust...and then I FREAK!..."oh no baby" she says "don't stop...it's a good cry"...and I run and jump out of the second story window and the police come and handcuff me while I'm standing naked still talking the the "mailbox".....WTF!!!!
rxtales
Posted: Tuesday, August 04, 2009 4:52:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/28/2008
Posts: 2,589
Location: Newcastle, United Kingdom
HoneyBee000 wrote:
How do us girls cope when we see our men cry, I wonder how many women are sympathetic for them, Just a thought..............


When a guy cried I ask what's wrong and do whatever I can to make him feel better. Just like I would any girl.
Lisa
Posted: Tuesday, August 04, 2009 7:38:42 PM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 5,168
Location: Victoria, Australia
Jason9035 wrote:
First you get them to let you hold'em....then you get their head on your shoulder and let them go a while...then you whisper in her ear "talk to me". You listen carefully...hold them tighter when they need it...don't offer ideas, just your shoulder and arms. Gently wipe the tears from her face and reassure her "we'll get through this together".

Bascially they need to talk/vent which helps get it started...then help her if she wants you to.

Or when they start crying....during your love making but you are still going strong....then they start crying in your arms in mid-thrust...and then I FREAK!..."oh no baby" she says "don't stop...it's a good cry"...and I run and jump out of the second story window and the police come and handcuff me while I'm standing naked still talking the the "mailbox".....WTF!!!!


That was really sweet...and then really funny!
Pixie
Posted: Tuesday, August 04, 2009 8:32:22 PM

Rank: Flutterby Pharie

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,980
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
Oh come on guys, your killing me! I havent gotten any direct answers, which just proves that all men are clueless! LOL

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 04, 2009 9:39:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,307
If a loved one cries, I immediately try to comfort her. Then I try to think of suggestions to solve the problem.
runonwords
Posted: Wednesday, August 05, 2009 5:26:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/7/2009
Posts: 1,092
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Immediate comfort with a lapse time to give the person a re captured opportunity then try to determine what else could be done to give support without pusing too hard!
This works for male and female!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 05, 2009 5:41:36 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,307
Men seem to want to "fix" the problem rather than just let us get it out and vent. Hint: just hold me and listen. If I want a solution I will ask. binky
caharain
Posted: Saturday, August 15, 2009 7:35:10 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/17/2009
Posts: 124
Location: Denver, United States
*Laughing* Handeling a live grenade with the spoon popped is easier then handeling a crying woman. It is a whole lot cheaper too as I tend to give her anything she wants just to stop.....Oh God, I just gave away my secret.....isjda

So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family. George Carlin
Primal
Posted: Sunday, November 01, 2009 2:59:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 700
Location: USA
Pixie wrote:
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?



We are wired differently and react differently.

Or,

We are stupid.






I have to go with stupid. I came home one time to find my girlfriend balling her eyes out on the phone with her mother and tried to ask what was wrong multiple times and tried to hug her but she kept ignoring me or yelling at me to shut-up and leave her alone, so I left the bedroom and went to make something to eat in the kitchen. Well I was sitting at the computer reading ESPN.com when she comes out of the bedroom yelling at me for not comforting her when she was crying and upset.

I nearly choked on my sandwich out of confusion.



In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade


En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
fystee
Posted: Sunday, November 01, 2009 4:31:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/28/2007
Posts: 1,285
Location: tied up somewhere
caharain wrote:
*Laughing* Handeling a live grenade with the spoon popped is easier then handeling a crying woman. It is a whole lot cheaper too as I tend to give her anything she wants just to stop.....Oh God, I just gave away my secret.....isjda

lol
Luckymann
Posted: Sunday, November 01, 2009 4:36:01 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 6/20/2009
Posts: 7
Location: South Carolina, United States
Pixie, we are not all clueless. However, men have been trying to figure out women for eons. We are not mind readers, you know. Women cry for a host of reasons, including something dumb they saw on TV. If you tell us what's bothering you, we may be able to do something about it. Until you start talking, a good hug is all we can give you ladies.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, November 01, 2009 10:54:19 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,307
No. Men aren't stupid.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, November 01, 2009 11:07:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,307
Jason9035 wrote:
Pixie wrote:
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?



First you get them to let you hold'em....then you get their head on your shoulder and let them go a while...then you whisper in her ear "talk to me". You listen carefully...hold them tighter when they need it...don't offer ideas, just your shoulder and arms. Gently wipe the tears from her face and reassure her "we'll get through this together".

Bascially they need to talk/vent which helps get it started...then help her if she wants you to.

Or when they start crying....during your love making but you are still going strong....then they start crying in your arms in mid-thrust...and then I FREAK!..."oh no baby" she says "don't stop...it's a good cry"...and I run and jump out of the second story window and the police come and handcuff me while I'm standing naked still talking the the "mailbox".....WTF!!!!


You beat me to that. I was going to say that women cry during sex at times. I have done it myself. It's not due to anger or sadness or something bad you did. I see it as being very emotionally affected by whatever is going on during that time. I wrote about this topic on another blog at another site. Men do freak out when their lover cries. lol

castlequeen
Posted: Monday, November 02, 2009 11:29:52 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 593
Hubby's good for just holding me and soothing me until I've cried it out, then he'll want to know what if anything he can do to help, which I love because sometimes I just need the holding, and sometimes I need a solution! It's also nice to know he's never 100% certain what to do, so he ASKS me, which makes me feel better instantly, because he's willing to do whatever I might need.
I dated a guy once who couldn't handle crying at all, he'd offer me anything in the world to stop, do you need a drink? a hug? a soda? your jacket? a fur coat? diamond earrings? If I was cruel I could gotten anything I wanted from him.evil4
Now our men crying?
He's only cried a few times that I know of, when I accepted his proposal, he shed a few happy tears, when he found out we were expecting we both cried tears of joy, and while in the theater watching the move UP, he bawled like a baby in a certain spot. Admittedly, so did I. He's also got a book series that he loves and there's a part in the final book that never fails to get him.

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Primal
Posted: Monday, November 02, 2009 7:08:43 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 700
Location: USA
The first time I had sex with my ex she started crying heavily in the middle of sex. It scared me I thought I did something but she insisted I keep going and she kept crying for a few minutes. Afterward, she told me she momentarily forgot where she was, a kind of flashback. Apparently, six months before we got together she was in a weird relationship with an older man she met online who would get her drunk and rape her after she passed out. She woke up briefly in the middle of a couple of these passed out rapes and once was on her back with her legs up over his shoulders. This was the position we were in when she cried. He did this repeatedly and I have no clue why she kept seeing him. She did eventually report him and his career in the military ended (his apartment was in the barracks on an Air Force base and several airmen were discharged for sneaking young women onto the base).

I personally very, very rarely cry. I can count on one hand the number of times I have cried. I cried when I read the email my fiance dumped me with, but I have never cried over my friends murder or family members passing away. When I was a kid I cried when my dog died though.

I think some people cry and some don't. Different ways of dealing with things.



In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade


En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
Chauncey
Posted: Monday, November 02, 2009 7:47:02 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/22/2009
Posts: 169
Location: Massachusetts
what I would do is first try to comfort her and ask her whats wrong. I am by no means an expert, but I would try to find out why and comfort her any way I can.
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, November 04, 2009 8:27:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
ali2teaseu wrote:
Men seem to want to "fix" the problem rather than just let us get it out and vent. Hint: just hold me and listen. If I want a solution I will ask. binky


Ali pretty much sums up the case from my perspective. Trying to "FIX" things has got me into more trouble than I care to talk about. violent1

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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