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Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 3:37:56 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 7,632
Location: California
Nikki703 wrote:


Smoke and Mirrors? Sounds like the start of a great party!!!


Let's get the party started then. Bring that one below you, with angel wings, that I bewitched a while ago, life of the party with that one. You never know whats gonna come out of her mouth... or go in it. ;)

Kinkme
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 4:36:21 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/21/2011
Posts: 79
Location: United States
coming across like a stalker, or being such a 'nice guy' that the girl starts to feel like she's talking to her sister and she ends up dozing off before you can get past the small talk.[/quote]


I personally have found this to be a very confusing line to walk sometimes. Many of the women of lush, as in life in general I guess, are sometimes very difficult to "read." Some want to "talk," and be intelectually stimulated, and others expect to be bent over their chair right now and taken! We, as men, have approximately 3 black boxes to figure this out and get it right before we are either labeled arrogant pricks, or boring nice guys! And heaven forbid we accidentally stumble on a woman listed as "Bisexual"...inferred that she may be open to chatting with either sex about items in her profile, who is actually a full blown lesbian and HATES all men with a passion! Yes they are here.
Bio's are sometimes helpful, but sometimes I'm convinced someone else wrote them! It's stressful being a REAL "nice guy who also likes some horny talk with a great lady too once in a while" on lush i've found.

Glad this came up. Am I alone?

DJ
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 5:10:44 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,757
Location: Cakeland, United States
funnyguy wrote:
Well to all of the ladies of lush i just want to say sorry on behave of all the guys i know most of you girls out the are being harrased to just get in a private chat and noticed most of you tend to avoid the chat rooms all the time just remember not all guys are like that.

now will the ladies of lush forgive the guys or try and give the nice guys a change


It is the rare moment such as this, when I am almost sorry that my fetus was gifted with a Y chromosome, instead of an extra X.

However, if it wasn't for nice guys like you guys, I wouldn't have had as much damned fun all my life, as I have had. Certainly not here at Lush for the last three years.

So, yeah...in retrospect I am thankfully sorry.

Please keep doing whatever the hell it is, you have been doing.

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 6:32:06 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,177
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Kinkme wrote:



I personally have found this to be a very confusing line to walk sometimes. Many of the women of lush, as in life in general I guess, are sometimes very difficult to "read." Some want to "talk," and be intelectually stimulated, and others expect to be bent over their chair right now and taken! We, as men, have approximately 3 black boxes to figure this out and get it right before we are either labeled arrogant pricks, or boring nice guys! And heaven forbid we accidentally stumble on a woman listed as "Bisexual"...inferred that she may be open to chatting with either sex about items in her profile, who is actually a full blown lesbian and HATES all men with a passion! Yes they are here.
Bio's are sometimes helpful, but sometimes I'm convinced someone else wrote them! It's stressful being a REAL "nice guy who also likes some horny talk with a great lady too once in a while" on lush i've found.

Glad this came up. Am I alone?

DJ


I don't do random online chats anymore but when I first joined Lush I did a few. It's easy to reject the obvious "R U horny" type conversation-starters and for the record guys should strive to avoid this, especially in the first few black boxes. The only time these openers work is if one is posing as a 19 yr old lesbian supermodel and is looking to chat up someone with a similar profile. I've found the lesbian supermodels on here to be pretty sexually aggressive. happy8

There is another type of guy though - the 'nice guy' as you call him that is pretty hapless with conversation starters as well. While I used to be more open returning blackboxes initially, I was amazed at how many men use this bizarre self-deprecating "woe is me, I'm such a nice guy and girls pass me over for assholes. I'm not very confident and I'm painfully shy. I can't get dates, my college girlfriend just dumped me, I'm so sad, blah blah". I think the point is - even if these things are true - don't lead with them. Nobody wants to be a psychological dumping ground for a stranger's problems right after you say hello.

Girls like confidence, witty conversation, a clever sense of humour, a bit of sarcasm, and conversation that is FUN. That will land you the hook that *might* get you further if you play the game right. If you're not making her smile, you're not going to get her panties wet... that's the best advice I can give.

If someone is looking for fast-cyber, then I think the chatrooms are your best bet, although I haven't really done that scene so I'm more just assuming.

It's not hard - but you gotta know your target audience. Read her profile and figure out the type of person she is. If she's a writer and has a semi-conservative bio, you're probably not going to get anywhere with a sexually aggressive approach. If her bio says "I'm a whore-nee fuckslut that wants 2 get banged all da time!" then you can probably move things along a little faster to the 'what are you wearing right now' stage.




wolverine15
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 10:44:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/16/2010
Posts: 1,152
Location: sardonic-ville, United States
funnyguy wrote:
Well to all of the ladies of lush i just want to say sorry on behave of all the guys i know most of you girls out the are being harrased to just get in a private chat and noticed most of you tend to avoid the chat rooms all the time just remember not all guys are like that.

now will the ladies of lush forgive the guys or try and give the nice guys a change


In other words you are a really nice guy throwing a wide net out there to get yourself some action. God you're brilliant.

Really I mean it!

I do.

Sincerely.

isjda

“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."

Kinkme
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 11:34:42 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/21/2011
Posts: 79
Location: United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:


I don't do random online chats anymore but when I first joined Lush I did a few. It's easy to reject the obvious "R U horny" type conversation-starters and for the record guys should strive to avoid this, especially in the first few black boxes. The only time these openers work is if one is posing as a 19 yr old lesbian supermodel and is looking to chat up someone with a similar profile. I've found the lesbian supermodels on here to be pretty sexually aggressive. happy8

There is another type of guy though - the 'nice guy' as you call him that is pretty hapless with conversation starters as well. While I used to be more open returning blackboxes initially, I was amazed at how many men use this bizarre self-deprecating "woe is me, I'm such a nice guy and girls pass me over for assholes. I'm not very confident and I'm painfully shy. I can't get dates, my college girlfriend just dumped me, I'm so sad, blah blah". I think the point is - even if these things are true - don't lead with them. Nobody wants to be a psychological dumping ground for a stranger's problems right after you say hello.

Girls like confidence, witty conversation, a clever sense of humour, a bit of sarcasm, and conversation that is FUN. That will land you the hook that *might* get you further if you play the game right. If you're not making her smile, you're not going to get her panties wet... that's the best advice I can give.

If someone is looking for fast-cyber, then I think the chatrooms are your best bet, although I haven't really done that scene so I'm more just assuming.

It's not hard - but you gotta know your target audience. Read her profile and figure out the type of person she is. If she's a writer and has a semi-conservative bio, you're probably not going to get anywhere with a sexually aggressive approach. If her bio says "I'm a whore-nee fuckslut that wants 2 get banged all da time!" then you can probably move things along a little faster to the 'what are you wearing right now' stage.



Thanks for that well thought out and thorough reply to my post! While most of what you said would seem like common sense, in this particular format, lacking the benefit of expression and inflection, my witty character and charm can sometimes be misunderstood. And, while I have NEVER used the opening line, "are you horny baby?", mainly because that's really not what I'm looking for here, some of my "leading" greetings might need to be more refined as to compensate for that forum short coming. As in life, there is a fine balance between confident, cocky, and obnoxiously aggressive. All I'd ask is that the lovely ladies of lush give us a couple boxes to decipher fully before shutting us down.

BigShyPussyKins
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 11:45:58 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/26/2012
Posts: 111
Location: United Kingdom
I only joined the other day and instantly got bombared with requests from men! Some I accepted, some I didn't. Some of those I accepted I have to be honest and say I'm not 100% sure about :/ I'm kinda embarrased about joining still and have almost deleted my account. I joined to make friends as much as anything else and to explore the inner me which I don't let out in public.
sprite
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 11:49:05 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,557
Location: My Tower, United States
you really do have 3 black boxes to impress me. btw, i don't do cyber here, but i do converse. if, by the third box i'm bored, i'll start looking for an excuse to say 'later'. don't use 'lines' on me. don't ask me about the weather. say something witty or original or creative or interesting. read my bio first, figure out what we have in common. don't ask me about the weather, tell me you are horny, or just lead with 'wanna chat?'

oh, and don't cal me "babe".



Love not hate.
sprite
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 11:51:59 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,557
Location: My Tower, United States
BigShyPussyKins wrote:
I only joined the other day and instantly got bombared with requests from men! Some I accepted, some I didn't. Some of those I accepted I have to be honest and say I'm not 100% sure about :/ I'm kinda embarrased about joining still and have almost deleted my account. I joined to make friends as much as anything else and to explore the inner me which I don't let out in public.


the new girls always get a lot of attention - when i first joined i could barely do anything cause of all the Black Boxes. it slows down with time - also, i keep my status on 'away' to hide a little - i have a regular group of friends that i talk to and they know that if they send me a BB and i'm around, i'll reply. strangers, it all depends on what they send, tho.



Love not hate.
lafayettemister
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 11:54:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,495
Location: Alabama, United States
sprite wrote:
you really do have 3 black boxes to impress me. btw, i don't do cyber here, but i do converse. if, by the third box i'm bored, i'll start looking for an excuse to say 'later'. don't use 'lines' on me. don't ask me about the weather. say something witty or original or creative or interesting. read my bio first, figure out what we have in common. don't ask me about the weather, tell me you are horny, or just lead with 'wanna chat?'

oh, and don't cal me "babe".



Hey Babe, let's sneak off behind the trees and have a quick fuck to work up a nice sweat in this blazing heat. And keep your mouth shut, we aren't going back there to chat. Just to satisfy my horny needs. Got it? Good. You lead so I can watch your ass while you walk.







When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
BigShyPussyKins
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 11:57:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/26/2012
Posts: 111
Location: United Kingdom
sprite wrote:


the new girls always get a lot of attention - when i first joined i could barely do anything cause of all the Black Boxes. it slows down with time - also, i keep my status on 'away' to hide a little - i have a regular group of friends that i talk to and they know that if they send me a BB and i'm around, i'll reply. strangers, it all depends on what they send, tho.


Thanks for the tips and I read your previous post too which made sense - about not leading with I'm horny, what the weather like etc. Yep learnt to keep my status to away too lol. The other day it was BB after BB every second or so it felt like. Didn't log on yesterday as had no internet all day and today so far so good.

I guess I will learn as I go :)

Oh and I've read a lot of your stories and really enjoy them :)
sprite
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 11:59:45 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,557
Location: My Tower, United States
lafayettemister wrote:



Hey Babe, let's sneak off behind the trees and have a quick fuck to work up a nice sweat in this blazing weather. And keep your mouth shut, we aren't going back there to chat. Just to satisfy my horny needs. Got it? Good. You lead so I can watch your ass while you walk.



and they wonder why i only date girl? :)



Love not hate.
lafayettemister
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:03:17 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,495
Location: Alabama, United States
sprite wrote:


and they wonder why i only date girl? :)


Who said anything about dating? That's too long term. I'm talking about 10-15 minutes, tops, of your time.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
overmykneenow
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:21:38 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,383
Location: United Kingdom
Kinkme wrote:
I personally have found this to be a very confusing line to walk sometimes. Many of the women of lush, as in life in general I guess, are sometimes very difficult to "read." Some want to "talk," and be intelectually stimulated, and others expect to be bent over their chair right now and taken! We, as men, have approximately 3 black boxes to figure this out and get it right before we are either labeled arrogant pricks, or boring nice guys! And heaven forbid we accidentally stumble on a woman listed as "Bisexual"...inferred that she may be open to chatting with either sex about items in her profile, who is actually a full blown lesbian and HATES all men with a passion! Yes they are here.
Bio's are sometimes helpful, but sometimes I'm convinced someone else wrote them! It's stressful being a REAL "nice guy who also likes some horny talk with a great lady too once in a while" on lush i've found.

Glad this came up. Am I alone?

DJ


Once you've read a profile though, three black boxes is usually more than enough to de-cypher what personality type you're dealing with.

To be honest, if you haven't got a conversation going by box three it's only ever going to be hard work for either you.

It has to be remembered that most people do actually come here to engage with other people and not block conversation because they get some kind of kick out of it.

PS The type of "Bisexual" lushers you refer to are usually men faking it anyway.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
crazydiamond
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:28:18 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,301
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
overmykneenow wrote:


Once you've read a profile though, three black boxes is usually more than enough to de-cypher what personality type you're dealing with.

To be honest, if you haven't got a conversation going by box three it's only ever going to be hard work for either you.

It has to be remembered that most people do actually come here to engage with other people and not block conversation because they get some kind of kick out of it.

PS The type of "Bisexual" lushers you refer to are usually men faking it anyway.


You deciphered me after 3 boxes! BOLLOCKS!
You are still deciphering me ;)

sprite
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:29:45 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,557
Location: My Tower, United States
lafayettemister wrote:


Who said anything about dating? That's too long term. I'm talking about 10-15 minutes, tops, of your time.
l

lol - i heard you're only good for like 2-3 minutes.



Love not hate.
overmykneenow
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:31:57 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,383
Location: United Kingdom
BigShyPussyKins wrote:
I only joined the other day and instantly got bombared with requests from men! Some I accepted, some I didn't. Some of those I accepted I have to be honest and say I'm not 100% sure about :/ I'm kinda embarrased about joining still and have almost deleted my account. I joined to make friends as much as anything else and to explore the inner me which I don't let out in public.


The thing about messages and BBs is that this isn't work and you won't get in trouble if you don't reply to them - let them slide.

Friends requests to my knowledge, don't expire; if you're not sure you want to add someone just let it sit in your requests inbox until you do decide. ANd if you add someone and decide it wasn't a good idea block+delete is very satisfying.

Relax and enjoy your time on here and don't feel pressured by the attention you get (however well intentioned it may be). It's a bit of a tired lush cliche but it's also very true: you're here for your enjoyment, not anyone else's!

Have a great time on Lush, you probably won't find what you think you're looking for but you might discover something even better. :)

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
overmykneenow
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:33:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,383
Location: United Kingdom
crazydiamond wrote:


You deciphered me after 3 boxes! BOLLOCKS!
You are still deciphering me ;)


I believe the conversation went thus....



Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
sprite
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:34:31 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,557
Location: My Tower, United States
crazydiamond wrote:


You are still deciphering me ;)


is that some sort of code of umm... "doing it?" *giggles*



Love not hate.
crazydiamond
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:38:37 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,301
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
overmykneenow wrote:


I believe the conversation went thus....



I sent that to everyone smart ass! xx

except sprite hahahahaha bunny

Dancing_Doll
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 12:39:46 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 7,177
Location: Your dirty fantasy
overmykneenow wrote:



Have a great time on Lush, you probably won't find what you think you're looking for but you might discover something even better. :)


This should be the site tag line! glasses8


BigShyPussyKins
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 1:04:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/26/2012
Posts: 111
Location: United Kingdom
overmykneenow wrote:


The thing about messages and BBs is that this isn't work and you won't get in trouble if you don't reply to them - let them slide.

Friends requests to my knowledge, don't expire; if you're not sure you want to add someone just let it sit in your requests inbox until you do decide. ANd if you add someone and decide it wasn't a good idea block+delete is very satisfying.

Relax and enjoy your time on here and don't feel pressured by the attention you get (however well intentioned it may be). It's a bit of a tired lush cliche but it's also very true: you're here for your enjoyment, not anyone else's!

Have a great time on Lush, you probably won't find what you think you're looking for but you might discover something even better. :)


Thanks :) and yes I guess I can block and delete if I decide I don't want to talk to someone I've added. It all got a bit much the first day and crazy!!
Guest
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 2:09:03 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
I hereby revoke the apology of whatshisname. thefinger

Guys are guys, sometimes we are jerks, naka just like sometimes girls are princesses,and bitches. a1089

Stop being an apologetic wuss, and go get some pussy!bates
Shylass
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2012 5:52:38 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,850
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Personally, I think kind people are fab, and they make my days better. sunny It's awesome when people apologise for things they are sorry about, but I also hope they don't feel guilty for things that aren't their fault, or assume everybody else will think they are guilty because they have a willy too (or a pussy, or whatever).

I like to think I would give people the benefit of the doubt when they first communicate with me, but I would hope they did the same for me. I'm happy to be nice to anybody as long as they are nice to me. Just because I met a few bastards (okay, a lot), it doesn't put me off meeting new people (online, real life is too scary) and waiting to see what they are like before deciding they are knobheads. They should get a chance to show me themselves (i don't mean show me bits of themselves, I mean... dammit, I'm tired).

I'm awful at responding back to PMs and stuff, it's true, but I try my best to be nice when I do! I would like to think everybody else could do that too... confused5




Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2012 11:03:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
always comes to thisSword Fight
SydneySider
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2012 11:26:32 PM

Rank: Candy Connoisseur
Moderator

Joined: 11/6/2011
Posts: 2,424
Location: Sydney, Australia
Dudealicious wrote:


Please speak for yourself, I have never harrassed any woman on Lush so I am not sure why you would apologize on behalf of me. But I appreciate you reaching out to the women of Lush. There are some great guys here, but thanks for snowballing us.



Well said Dude,

Donk...

Red_Dragon
Posted: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 11:44:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 766
Location: Charleston , United States
Well for the record the Red Dragon has never harassed any lady and has always come to their defense when the asshole didnt understand the meaning of NO and there are MODS out there that can verify that

sweet_as_candy
Posted: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 8:01:14 PM

Rank: Sydney Slider
Moderator

Joined: 5/28/2012
Posts: 3,422
Location: In the library
Lol apology accepted!

Damn the attention!! evil4





Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 9:38:33 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
It is all about choice.

There are all types of people here and all kinds of connections that can be made. Chemistry and connections are important to me as well as to others that I interact with on a consistent basis.

In my experience I have seen that sometimes the social filter diminishes during chat. Is it due to the anonymity of being on the other end of a computer screen or is it because the person really is lacking in social skills and/or game? I do wonder about some of these people in real time since their approach online is so unappealing.

I choose to be here.
I choose to whom I speak and what about.
I have met some charming and respectful people in this lush-y atmosphere and enjoy the fun banter.

Pour Wine Cheers!






nastynate69
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2012 7:10:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/14/2011
Posts: 972
Location: United States
LOL Well you don't need to make an apology for me,it's no secret that I'm an asshole and proud of it
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