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half long distance bdsm relationship. Options · View
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012 12:30:24 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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hallf of the time my relationship is long distant, hes in texas and im in iowa. its really hard to be obedint at times. but how can i keep it up when i cant get punnished what are somethings i can do to keep myself in line so i can stay obedient... i know your pry thinking if ur trained right it shouldnt matter, but it dose, our bond is diffrent when were apart and togeather. so if you understand advice would be great ! :)
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:43:16 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
He can still punish you despite being so far apart. Why don't the two of you keep a log of when you misbehave and when you meet up he can punish you for it? Or come up with ideas of how he can tell you to punish yourself for being bad?

Also if you do believe that he is really your Master then you should try to do your best to please him no matter what. I think that this is also an issue that you should talk to him over. If he's understanding he'll come up with ways to help you.

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012 9:47:45 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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You will only be obedient if you WANT to be. All the punishment in the world will not make you so if you want to rebel or be bratty. Why don't you want to be? is the question to answer.
Ravyn
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012 11:36:26 AM

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With any long distance relationship there had to alot of trust and patience. Add the BDSM factor in to the relationship and you have up the trust factor. Your Master has to trust that you will do what you are told to do and if you don't that you will come clean and tell him. There are many punishments he can hand out being long distance you just won't feel the flesh of his hand on your backside if that is one punishment you like. Those things are what you should have discussed ahead of time. Taking your role seriously as his submissive is the first start. As WCB said do you want to obey him or do you simply wish to see how far you push him before you get punished? If you have the will and the desire to please your Master, it is not all that hard to accomplish. Are you seeking positive reinforcement when you are obedient or is your desire for punishment greater?

This type of relationship can and does work long distance. Is it hard? YES, but if the love, loyalty and trust is in place, then it is entirely possible. The bond that you have with him is most likely stronger when you are apart, or should be since there is a greater level of trust. He has to take you at your word that you are doing or not doing the things you are being told to do. When you are together, he can see the evidence for himself so therefore being apart will show you both what your relationship is made of.

Good Luck I hope you find the answers you seek.

jerseylynn
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012 4:58:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 1,387
Location: around and about Hell, United States
If you don't feel the connection to him even from a distance, then maybe he's not right for you. As a submissive you should always feel the need to please him, to make him proud to call you his. Striving to please him even from a distance.

Now with all that said, if you don't feel that and only feel the need to be good when he's with you or feel that connection when your with him, then you need to stop and think if he's the right one for you. A submissive should always be honest good or bad with her Dom/me. Even if you know you will be punished and yes even from a distance you can still feel his displeasure.

There are all sorts of punishments from you spanking yourself to having to write essays to being banned from chat, kneeling on dry rice for a period of time, no contact with him for a period of time, plus many many many other things as many know. Most Dom/me's are very creative in their punishments to ensure you realize they are displeased and that you think twice before doing whatever infraction you did do.

YOU have to want this. Nobody can make you do this this has to be a want and personally i don't know how long a Dom/me will tolerate a misbehaved sub. Training is only part of this you have to have the need and want to do this. You can always find a Dom/me that's easy but to have a true connection is special Treat it as if it's special. Don't take it for granted.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 23, 2012 12:18:24 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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I do try my hardest .. and i do want this .. but its like hes not trusting me while we are apart .. hes more hesitant witheverying i know this is right for me but is it for him? i do stay obedient i have been punnished once withing 3 weeks i try my hardest to keep him happy its just punnishments seem worse when he is gone ..
jerseylynn
Posted: Monday, July 23, 2012 9:58:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
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Location: around and about Hell, United States
There has to be trust by both parties. Talk to him find out what he is thinking. If you don't have communication then your miserable and distant from the one you should feel closest to. When you talk to him remain respectable but tell him what your feeling and try to get him to tell you what he's feeling and see where it goes once you have an open channel for communication.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Sirwicked
Posted: Monday, July 23, 2012 10:43:57 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/12/2012
Posts: 2
Location: United States
In any relationship you have to have trust , mutual interest and a desire to be together. This is especially true in a Lifestyle relationship and more so when you are apart.

You need to FEEL part of that relationship. need to feel as if your Dom was with you in all things. If you can feel them with you even when not online talking then you have a connection. If the only time you feel anything for or from them is while talking then the connection just is not there.

People will say you need to be sure that your Dom is the right one for you. Best I can tell you is your heart will KNOW when you find the right person to be with. If you feel that connection to your Dom then he will not often need to correct you since your desire is to please them above all things. Most subs feel guilt when they even think they have not done right without needing to be told they did wrong.

So those are the sorts of things you should feel. A closeness thats is with you even when apart. a bond that holds even when not talking or touching. A trust and desire to please. Trust that you are with the person who has your best interest at heart even above their own.

SirWicked
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 23, 2012 12:32:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 674,143
Well said Sir. Well said. Like the OP my relationship with my Mistress is semi-long distance. We talk by phone mostly which can be a little akward at times.
I feel the bond between Dom and Sub gets closer and stronger when there is any sort of distance. Love, patience, and loyalty are keys. I can always feel my Mistress bieng with me no matter where I or she is at the time. I wish the OP good luck and I wish all of you good luck with your relationships. Have a good day everyone.
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