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Being bullied. Options · View
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 7:53:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 676,035
Has anyone else here ever been or felt like they are the victim of a bully? I was bullied in high school and I have felt that way recently here. I don't like it, I thought we were above that here. I guess not! I am questioning whether I want to continue being here. Has anyone else felt like this before on here or in the real world? Input would be appreciated.
littlemissbitch
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 7:59:06 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/6/2011
Posts: 776
Location: the land of enchantment, United States
beeper726 wrote:
Has anyone else here ever been or felt like they are the victim of a bully? I was bullied in high school and I have felt that way recently here. I don't like it, I thought we were above that here. I guess not! I am questioning whether I want to continue being here. Has anyone else felt like this before on here or in the real world? Input would be appreciated.


do you need my services? ;)

littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
sprite
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 8:00:04 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,915
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may i suggest, if you are being bullied here, to report it to the admin and let them look into it? Lush is a community, and although we squabble at times, we stick together. report it. i know it's not something that the site would want to see continue.

Live, love, laugh.
sprite
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 8:01:20 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
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Posts: 16,915
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littlemissbitch wrote:


do you need my services? ;)


that would be like ridding the house of ants with nuclear weaponry, Ms. H ("H" is for HOT, btw).

Live, love, laugh.
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 8:05:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 676,035
No it's been my experience that it's better to just walk away and let them win.
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 8:12:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 676,035
Thanks Sprite, But it's not my style to run and tell.
tazznjazz
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 8:56:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

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Location: under bright lights, United States
Thats why the mother creater invented the delete button,Beeper!!{}
littlemissbitch
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 9:00:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/6/2011
Posts: 776
Location: the land of enchantment, United States
sprite wrote:


that would be like ridding the house of ants with nuclear weaponry, Ms. H ("H" is for HOT, btw).


aww nah, C-4 maybe but not nuclear ;) and thanks Sprite...i rather think i am ;)

littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012 9:12:49 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 676,035
I know Tazz that's how I will undo everything ive done here!
1nympholes
Posted: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 12:48:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 953
Location: Bare Beach USA, United States
I have never been bullied and I guess I must send the message that I will not stand for it, what ever it takes.

I know that is not a thing that eveyone can project. I would like to tell you to refuse to accept that kind of behavior. But that i s not a solution.

What about some of the Marshall Arts that build self esteem which you can then project.

May be a path for you to consider.






The girl who started early at this game of sexual pleasure, This girl that never seems to get as much as she wants, at least from the right people. But now certainly the woman that will test all the paths of pleasure with you.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:17:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 676,035
If you don't wish to report it then you can use your block option to block the person or persons that is bullying you.
Phaypi
Posted: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 9:52:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/31/2012
Posts: 109
Location: o.o, United States
Bullying?

You ask if someone has ever been bullied.
Bullying - you have to realize that bullying isn't as simple as one person making fun of another, and the victim getting hurt.
I lived in japan for two years when I was little, and I was bullied by the girl who was my only friend. She decided who I would play with and when, who I could be friendly with, what I would do after school, and for clubs. She would hit me, tell me to hit her back, tell me I was weak and feeble and should hit harder, shout at me how dare I hit her and hit me again. She made my life hell and despised me greatly.
People who have never been in this sort of situation will understand nothing of why the victim doesn't run to a parent, or teacher, or some authority.
In my case, she was my only friend, the person who looked after me, and having her hate me openly, even though she despised me so much, was the worst possible situation. I wanted her to like me so badly. There was no way any parent could help me without bring me to more shame anyway.

The way a potential victim reacts, or interprets the action of a potential bully is what creates bullies. Usually, a bully will be someone that doesn't respect the victim. If the victim gains any sort of respect, he is no longer a victim. The "bullying" might continue, but it's a fight and the victim is then an enemy.

Confidence, ignoring, acting cool, laughing it off, these are often suggested as solutions to end bullying, and it's because they are traits widely respected by a number of people.

That doesn't mean that they work - since the bully can interpret actions however he wants. Confidence - can be taken for not knowing their standing, ignoring - can be taken for cowardice, acting cool - can be taken for looking down on the bully, laughing it off - can be taken for not taking the bully seriously (aka requiring a display of power by the bully).

Anyways trying not to make this too long, I hope what I said helps and PM me if you want to talk more.

~Come, fall in love!~ ;)
VanGogh
Posted: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 10:17:38 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,469
Location: Vancouver, Canada
1nympholes wrote:
I have never been bullied and I guess I must send the message that I will not stand for it, what ever it takes.

I know that is not a thing that eveyone can project. I would like to tell you to refuse to accept that kind of behavior. But that i s not a solution.



I don't put up with bullies either, but they still TRY to figure out the vulnerable spot .... and it is even worse when they gang up and when others (particularly in positions to assist) don't step in to neutralize the situation.

Bullies are scum .... I think everyone agrees with that. Oh, yeah, we can say, they suffer(ed) too, that's why they do that to others .... and it's unacceptable, in real life or on Lush.

But, as I have said before, some people chose not to listen that they have been bullies, because they can only see their own point of view and believe that they are correct in what they have done by bullying.

Yes, I do believe that one of the best tactics is to ignore, block, refuse their bait. Let the bullies sit in their own shit. Looks good on 'em.

PA

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nicola
Posted: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 10:53:45 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,369
Location: United Kingdom
Bullies aren't welcome here.

Please pm me with the details, and any screenshots you have as proof.

Bullies are usually cowards. If you leave over it, they'll find someone else to harrass, and the cycle continues.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 01, 2012 5:31:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 676,035
nicola wrote:
Bullies aren't welcome here.

Please pm me with the details, and any screenshots you have as proof.

Bullies are usually cowards. If you leave over it, they'll find someone else to harrass, and the cycle continues.



Thank you, but I don't want to get anyone in trouble, that's just not who I am. I just want everyone to be more respectful of others. Like the saying goes : If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
elitfromnorth
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 8:17:26 AM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,635
Location: Burrowed, Norway
beeper726 wrote:



Thank you, but I don't want to get anyone in trouble, that's just not who I am. I just want everyone to be more respectful of others. Like the saying goes : If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.


Sadly, that's not the way things usually works. If you're being harassed please let us know. You might be able to handle it, but it may drive someone else from the site, and we don't want that. Let us know so we can let the bully know that they if they don't start behaving, a certain story verifier will handle it personally...

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
Shylass
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 8:35:30 AM

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Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,668
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Some people will never change. But that is no excuse why they should not be challenged. Sometimes authority can challenge it where others cannot and/or will not. It isn't "sneaking" or getting people into trouble. It is pointing out harmful behaviour and trying to stop a cycle of pain. It is up to those who are bullying to change their behaviour, but unless challenged, why should they bother? Sometimes people don't realise they are bullying. Other times, they do, and should not be allowed to get away with it.

It doesn't need their names plastered over the forums if somebody is harrassing you in whatever way, a quiet report to a mod in person or through the Contact Us facility will ensure said parties are both watched and challenged for unreasonable behaviour. Lush is for FUN, and if people aren't having fun, then those issues need addressing. Just my opinion.

Clicky -->> CONTACT THE LUSH TEAM <<-- Clicky


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Archadia
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 8:42:06 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 426
Location: Middlesbrough, United Kingdom
I was bullied at school, mainly because of my dancing, apparently if you wear dancing shoes instead of football boots you're less of a man, ha how wrong they were. I dont like talking about being bullied, its embarressing, however i can see you need a empathetic word. I think in a way, people who have been bullied (provided you can be a strong person) end up much more confident, righteous and bold in the long run.

I think about what ive done with my life, danced in front of 3000 people in a proffessional show of sleeping beauty when i was 16, been on TV in the regional news for dancing when i was 13, been in the national news paper "Daily Mail" when i was 14 under the headline "Real Billy Elliotts", met Prince Edward when i was elected representitive young people scheme when I was 17, now im 23 (24 next week whoo!) Im now travelling in Australia meeting hundreds of new people and making so many friends, im more popular then ever.

Now I think about the bullys, probably back in England, most probably in the pissing rain, on a building site, sweating their tits for peanuts of money, getting pissed friday, saturaday, sunday, then back to work on monday, seeing nothing of life, of the world, making nothing of themselves, little more than deadbeats with pulses. Ha who won? I think i did....

I never used to mention dancing to anybody i met, i was so scared of getting a reaction or a bad judgement, so i hid it for years from new people i met, back then, it felt like anything i had that was different, was a weakness, not a strength, little did i realise that the fact i used to dance was the biggest strength i had going for me, it was me that made it weak, because i allowed the bullys to get to me, it gave them ammo, now im proud, and people are fasinated by it, if i like a girl now, i always make sure i mention that I used to dance, because the amount of girls knickers that ive talked off, just by mentioning that i was a dancer is unreal, having that attention is amazing, fuck the bullys, choose your friends wisely, however many people hate you for something want to do, there will always be more people who love you for it!

Ok thats my story, im not sure how or if this helps you, but there you go.

As for being bullied on lush, no never, i cant imagine a situation on lush where i would get bullied, we're all on the same page aren't we?
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 11:39:10 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 854
Location: United Kingdom
I was also bullied at school. Teachers turned a blind eye.

But there are a few people here who are constant jackasses at times - just ignore them, their more than likely going to get banned soon. And just send what the say to the mods. I know you don't want to but it's for the best. And the mods won't tell anyone that it was you who did it.

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Bunny12
Posted: Friday, August 03, 2012 2:05:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 1,008
Location: My own little world, United States
Myself and a girl named Bonnie in my class in 7th grade were bullied by this ass Frank. One day in English he was sitting next to me with this book that had a pic of a extremely obese person riding a bike, pointing at Bonnie and myself then the picture and laughing his fool ass off. That is until I back handed him right across the face hard which echoed throughout the classroom. It turned his whole cheek blazing red. The teacher bless that awesome women made me and Frank stand outside the classroom doors of which there were two at opposite ends of the room so we were separated. I heard her reading Frank the riot act about his behavior and giving him detention then sent him to the principals office for the rest of class. I thought my turn was next! She told me she had to stand out here with me a few minutes to make it look like she was scolding me and just said I know he's been bugging you, just don't smack again ok. Needless to say Frank steered clear of me forever more! I find only two ways to deal with bullies - embarrass the hell outta them or bust their balls!

I'm sorry but if you choose to allow this behavior that is exactly what you will get!

This goes for much more than just bullies it is a basic rule of life to me which I've learned the hard way many times.


Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Guest
Posted: Saturday, August 04, 2012 5:33:34 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 676,035
Bullying can come in so many different forms that some of it is hard to see. It can be as simple as looks that make you cringe, the push each time you walk past the person, your stuff being stolen by the person.

It’s all due to torment you and make you feel weak and unworthy.

The funny thing about bullying is that it can and is sometimes your own siblings doing it.

They call is sibling rivalry, but it’s the same as being bullied.

I’ve been bullied in school and at home. I was the outcast who didn’t have anywhere to fit in. Many people who grow up in this environment end up committing suicide. If nobody listens, try to help them and help solve this problem. I was one of those that tried the easy out at sixteen, but I’m thankful to still be here.

When my boys were in grade school in CA I got a call from the school principal who said there was a problem with my boys. I never dreamed they were being bullied. This took place in 2000… I was highly respected by the school, as I was a major volunteer, gee I even taught PE for two teachers to give them some free planning time.

It was a few teachers who saw the bullying going on and reported it. It turned out that it was all aimed at me, because the child’s mom disliked me, so she would talk bad about my boys to her son who took it out on them at school.

In the world of cyber bulling as taken on a new meaning, some say it’s all freedom of speech. My question is; how did we get to be such a hateful and hurtful nation?

Archadia
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 10:44:29 PM

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Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 426
Location: Middlesbrough, United Kingdom
KET1965 wrote:
such a hateful and hurtful nation?


Would you mind if I amended this statement? I'd prefer to say hurtful species....
Naughtygrl73
Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2012 5:29:21 AM

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Moderator

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,484
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Stand up,
Report them
Let those in a position to fix the problem do so,
You have had several people offer to help, accept it, otherwise the problem will continue and they will turn their sights onto someone else.
TreeSuh
Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2012 8:17:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/23/2012
Posts: 132
beeper726 wrote:



Thank you, but I don't want to get anyone in trouble, that's just not who I am. I just want everyone to be more respectful of others. Like the saying goes : If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.



Yes but if you dont put a stop to it chances are they will keep doing it to others, you have the chance to report them, if not for you, for the person or persons after you.

And I agree with bully's are cowards
T_Elle
Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2012 8:44:59 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/17/2012
Posts: 137
Location: Canada
I, too, like so many here, was bullied in school. For many years, I wanted to just wipe grades 7 to 9 from my memories, altogether. I was a people-pleaser, and hated to have anyone angry with me, or not like me. I wasn't the only one of my age group, however, that spent those years of junior high in abject misery... there were others treated as horribly, or even worse, than I was. I LONGED to be able to stand up to the bullies on their behalf, but I was just weak and miserable as those others being bullied. And I was also deathly afraid of getting anyone "in trouble," or of making things worse.

It's taken every bit of the 20 years I've been in the military, plus being a mother of two, for me to gain the self-confidence to stand up to those who try to intimidate me. Because, sadly, bullies don't seem to go away, even when you reach adulthood. They're everywhere, it seems, and it dismays me that they are even here on Lush, a place I love, where I have found acceptance.

My solution, therefore, is to use your own kind nature... the part of you that doesn't want to make waves or get anyone in trouble... as a force for good. Didn't you ever see others besides yourself getting bullied, as you were as a child? Did you never want someone to please stand up and help them? Now's your chance. PLEASE report this person who is bullying you. Chances are, you aren't the only one, and you could be putting a stop to someone else's misery, as well. love9
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