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Getting off with someone you intend on never meeting Options · View
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 12:22:11 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,718
Ok ladies, for years now, I have been watching porn. As luck would have it, my first and now second wife do not seem to be much in the mood for sex most of the time. For a guy with an above average sex drive, I had to find release. Watching movies allowed me that release. Sometimes, several times per day.

Last night, as my wife was sleeping, I ended up talking to and eventually having the best orgasm I have had in a while.

Do you ladies ever find yourself in this situation?

VanGogh
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 12:42:29 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,952
Location: Vancouver, Canada
why would you marry someone who has no interest in sex ... let alone twice??
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 12:49:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,718
PersonalAssistant wrote:
why would you marry someone who has no interest in sex ... let alone twice??


There is other things besides sex in life. Sex is very important but common interests in other areas of life are also. Especially if you have kids.

BTW, first wife died of cancer. We didn't divorce. I plan on this one being my last.

My exploring and satisfying my kinky side on here helps ensure that our marriage will last.
MMonroe
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 12:56:34 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,897
Location: United Kingdom
I dont understand the question? Do you mean chatting to someone on here and getting off on it? Im sure thats a very common practice on this site
VanGogh
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 1:01:11 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,952
Location: Vancouver, Canada
MMonroe wrote:
I dont understand the question? Do you mean chatting to someone on here and getting off on it? Im sure thats a very common practice on this site


I know, MM, I read it a few times, and decided to ask the question back on part of the backstory. dontknow

yeah, I think Lush is a "get-off haven" for many, regardless if married, in a relationship, or single.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 1:06:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,718
PersonalAssistant wrote:


I know, MM, I read it a few times, and decided to ask the question back on part of the backstory. dontknow

yeah, I think Lush is a "get-off haven" for many, regardless if married, in a relationship, or single.


Yes, Im new to this site. Do woman really like to chat and get off on it? I personally really enjoyed the experience.
MMonroe
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 1:54:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,897
Location: United Kingdom
Some do, some dont, luck of the draw really. Best to always be polite though, never assume she will and if she says no drop it, dont keep pestering her. No quicker way to get yourself deleted!
SexyWingsFan77
Posted: Sunday, August 5, 2012 7:32:52 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/24/2011
Posts: 2
Location: United States
Sometimes I come here to get off, sometimes just to chat with new people....my advice would be to try to find someone who you enjoy getting off with and have them become your go-to person...personally, I met an awesome guy on here and while I chat with other people, he's the only guy I get off with now and it's working for me!
littlemissbitch
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 6:31:31 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/6/2011
Posts: 776
Location: the land of enchantment, United States
there are many forums that debate whether or not cyber is cheating and since you are new to the practice, i wonder what your take on it is..

littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
VanGogh
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 9:58:20 AM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,952
Location: Vancouver, Canada
littlemissbitch wrote:
there are many forums that debate whether or not cyber is cheating and since you are new to the practice, i wonder what your take on it is..


I am thinking the OP believes it's not cheating if it "cybering and having "the best orgasm(s)" saves his marriage! lol
blazestcyr
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 10:33:38 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
yeah & i am sooo betting sugar is she finds out u are cybering & getting off it will be on to wife # 3 :(

have to agree with my lovely lushies above....why would u get married to a lady who has zippo interest in sex

been there..was HORRIBLE

would cut off a digit before i would do that again!!!

to me sex is love in a marriage...if you deny sex..u are denying love...period

so my suggestion unless u are willing to say goodbye to your wife..is to get off to stories & videos & quit the LIVE stuff

sorry to be so CRUEL but u said you want her to be your LAST...trust me most WIVES think cybering is cheating...

ps from my next lover, I am getting a sex contract(3 x's a day)..so i will avoid this crap!
Nikki703
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 12:36:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 14,400
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
cv150vanfleet wrote:


There is other things besides sex in life. Sex is very important but common interests in other areas of life are also. Especially if you have kids.

BTW, first wife died of cancer. We didn't divorce. I plan on this one being my last.

My exploring and satisfying my kinky side on here helps ensure that our marriage will last.


I agree there is more to a marriage besides sex but sex is a big part of it. In any realationship I enter, I have to be compatable with the person which means intellectually, spiritually and sexually. Of course over time you may find out you are not as compatable as you thought but to just be with someone who you knew has no interest in sex is STUPID!!

One question, does your wife know you watch porn and is she OK with it? If she does and this works for you than C'est La Vie! If she doesnt, then you are playing with fire and we all what happens when you do!
Guest
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 2:07:54 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,718
littlemissbitch wrote:
there are many forums that debate whether or not cyber is cheating and since you are new to the practice, i wonder what your take on it is..


I don't personally think its cheating. I make a distinction between satisfying my physical and the emotional bond I have with my wife.

Guest
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 2:12:17 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,718
Nikki703 wrote:


One question, does your wife know you watch porn and is she OK with it? If she does and this works for you than C'est La Vie!


Does my wife know I watch porn, yes. She did watch it with me for a while. She just says that work is making her too tired. To her, sex seems like work, to me, its relaxation. We ended up talking about it at lunch yesterday. She understands that I have this need in my life.

AbigailThornton
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 3:11:54 PM

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For me, cybersex crosses the line - it's cheating. I consider myself to be open minded - I read and write erotic stories, watch porn both with my boyfriend and alone and he does the same.... but nothing beats sex with the man I love.
It's good that you can talk about it but 'always being too tired' sounds iike avoidance. Relationships can and do work without sex but it's very difficult as sex is the cornerstone of intimacy; it's what makes your relationship with your partner unique. If you're not satisfying each other sexually both parties have to be open and accepting - or else you're both just living a lie.

hamz
Posted: Monday, August 6, 2012 3:35:18 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 5/16/2012
Posts: 83
Location: New Zealand
cv150vanfleet wrote:


I don't personally think its cheating. I make a distinction between satisfying my physical and the emotional bond I have with my wife.



I agree with you that there is much more in marriage than simply sex (although, it is a vital part of it) . It is quite likely that you may end up with a partner who is not as interested in sex as you are. So ideally, you should be able to separate love and sex. But the question is - does she share this line of thought? and do you even enjoy the sex when it happens?


So my advice would be -
a) that as long as you guys both enjoy the sex whenever you have it - I think you may survive on porn/online alternatives - but it is certainly advisable that she knows and agrees to you yanking off on these.
b) However, if you are not really enjoying sex with your wife.. I think it would be highly difficult for you to survive this way for the rest of your life!
littlemissbitch
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 9:47:14 AM

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Location: the land of enchantment, United States
cv150vanfleet wrote:


I don't personally think its cheating. I make a distinction between satisfying my physical and the emotional bond I have with my wife.



what does your wife think?

littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
1ball
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 2:16:34 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

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Location: United States
cv150vanfleet wrote:

I don't personally think its cheating. I make a distinction between satisfying my physical and the emotional bond I have with my wife.


Has your wife given you the green light to make sexual emotional connections with others? In my marriage, a certain amount of flirting is okay, but cyber would be crossing the line. Asking for photos would be crossing the line. Viewing volunteered photos wouldn't. It's all about the intent of the connection. You say you get a better orgasm from interacting sexually with someone than from simply viewing porn and that connection is fine if it's fine with the person for whom you have sworn to "forsake all others", otherwise it seems like cheating to me.


My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 2:26:33 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,718


Even Darwin says *facepalm*
Dani
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 3:20:42 PM

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Have you ever heard of cheating emotionally? If it's something you don't want your wife to know about, then you automatically know it's not right. End of story. No matter how you try to justify it. Be it an overcharged sex drive or lack of interest on her part. If you've got the time to get off online, you've got the time to try to rekindle your wife's interest in sex. There's RARELY any such thing as a woman who's not interested in sex. Hate to be harsh, but perhaps it's YOU that she doesn't find sexually appealing. Stop wasting your orgasms online and put in the effort so you and your wife can get back to pleasuring each other mutually.

I'm in a somewhat open relationship. But there's nothing that I do, either online or in real life, that my girlfriend doesn't know the FULL nature of.



1ball
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 5:04:02 PM

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slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:
Have you ever heard of cheating emotionally? If it's something you don't want your wife to know about, then you automatically know it's not right. End of story.


I don't think I would go quite that far. It depends on the reason you don't want her to know about it. It's not good to give your partner's opinion too much weight on some details of your life. For example, viewing porn is not emotional cheating even if she would disapprove. I don't think writing and publishing erotic stories is emotional cheating either, unless the connection between the writer and the reader is specific, even if the intent is to arouse. But I'll admit I might be quibbling over shades of gray and my wife might see it differently.

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 5:10:13 PM

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Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,773
1ball wrote:

It's not good to give your partner's opinion too much weight on some details of your life. For example, viewing porn is not emotional cheating even if she would disapprove. I don't think writing and publishing erotic stories is emotional cheating either, unless the connection between the writer and the reader is specific, even if the intent is to arouse..


Well stated. While I do think (as you said later in the message) that anything truly hidden from the other has the potential to open a crack in your relationship's foundation even if it's not "cheating" exactly, that discretion is important. Those of us in relationships know the others' tolerance on things in general. Telling them about things that you know will cause friction can be akin to walking straight into a plate glass window. Many of us have been there LOL. Hiding something judiciously, compartmentalizing the things in your life in an attempt to suit both yours and your partners' best interests, is not the same as going behind their back, giving "trust" the middle finger.
Dani
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 5:23:44 PM

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1ball wrote:

It depends on the reason you don't want her to know about it.


That was actually the point I was mostly getting at. If it feels like one of those hand in the cookie jar type moments, then that should be proof in and of itself that it's something you shouldn't be doing. Of course our partner's opinions shouldn't dictate our lives, but they should have enough weight to keep us from doing things that would no doubt hurt them our relationship. In this case, he's already expressed that his wife knows he watches porn. But there's a reason that he hasn't gone up to her and said, "Hey babe! While you were in bed, I just had one of the most amazing orgasms of my life with some random female on the interwebs. And this was after I expressed to an online community my physical needs due to your waning interest in having sex with me."

My point is, there's nothing wrong with getting off online with strangers you don't plan on meeting. But why be shrouded in secrecy? But opening up to people about issues you have yet to discuss with your partner does absolutely nothing to rectify the situation. And in the long run it just makes things worse. As I've said before, if it's something you want to keep from your wife, then most likely it's not something you should be doing. And I'm pretty sure this isn't the last time he's going to have mind-blowing e-sex with a stranger. And pretty soon it's going to end up being the sole thing he relies on for his physical needs since he's already written his wife off as "not being interested in sex".

In the grand scheme of things, there's nothing wrong with getting off online. That's what a great majority of us are here for. But when you have to sneak and do it or even justify why you do it, then perhaps it's time to draw a line. It really just seems like he's using cyber sex as a means of escape...and that's a bad sign in a relationship.



1ball
Posted: Tuesday, August 7, 2012 6:50:41 PM

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slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:
It really just seems like he's using cyber sex as a means of escape...and that's a bad sign in a relationship.


Agreed, assuming she doesn't know and approve.

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
Guest
Posted: Monday, September 3, 2012 6:11:35 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,718
lol you talked to an orgasm? :p
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