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Guys, how do you trust a woman that you got to cheat? Options · View
CleverFox
Posted: Monday, October 8, 2012 6:02:50 PM

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This is for guys that like to get women to cheat on their boyfriends, husbands or other significant others.

If you get a woman to cheat with you on her significant other, that is to say, somebody she has been seeing for years, (for simplicity I am going to say 'he') and then dump him and you start a long term relationship with her, how can you trust her?

I mean, if you could get her to cheat on her boyfriend/husband, doesn't that mean that another man could get her to cheat on you?

If you are thinking that she wouldn't cheat on you because that isn't in her nature you just proved that it is her nature.

Because she tells you that she loves you? Don't you think she told those same things to the guy on which she cheated?

If you think that you are so great looking, suave, debonair and loaded with cash, I am sure there are guys better looking, have more money and have better personalities too.

So how do you trust her? Even if you are married and have children then she could really take you to the cleaners with alimony and child support. And if you have an iron-clad prenuptial agreement, that tells me you never really trusted her and if you don't trust her, how can you claim to love her?

Again, how do you trust her?
JustJohn
Posted: Monday, October 8, 2012 6:10:46 PM

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It would depend on the circumstance of the cheating had i gotten to know her over time had we built a rapport and friendship over time thus building a foundation of trust, if so the trust would be there.

On the other had did it merely take a little persuasion for it to happen, in which case i don't think the relationship would ever be without doubt's from either party.

In my opinion cheating is asking for heartache and trouble and quiet simply if it isn't working with someone end it, and then start a new relationship.
realz
Posted: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 3:51:25 AM

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The question could be turned around... how could she trust you if you went after her. I think it would be a bit presumptuous to expect absolute fidelity under the circumstances (though I feel that emotional faithfulness is much more important than physical faithfulness)
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 11:20:31 AM

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Cheating is a result of a void. if you fill the void and constantly have no holes in the relationship there is trust
CleverFox
Posted: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 2:11:32 PM

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JustJohn wrote:
It would depend on the circumstance of the cheating had i gotten to know her over time had we built a rapport and friendship over time thus building a foundation of trust, if so the trust would be there.

On the other had did it merely take a little persuasion for it to happen, in which case i don't think the relationship would ever be without doubt's from either party.

In my opinion cheating is asking for heartache and trouble and quiet simply if it isn't working with someone end it, and then start a new relationship.


But don't you think that she built the same foundation of trust with the boyfriend on which she is cheating? And if she is capable of aborting that foundation with him then what makes you think she won't do it to you?
CleverFox
Posted: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 2:14:08 PM

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MindDom wrote:
Cheating is a result of a void. if you fill the void and constantly have no holes in the relationship there is trust


This sounds like a rationalization for blaming the victim, i.e. the person on which she cheated.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 2:57:02 PM

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Location: Cakeland, United States
I've had friendly sexual relationships with a number of women who were either married or living with their significant other. Generally speaking, there was sexual chemistry/electricity involved between whichever woman and myself. It was either a one off situation or there were several discreet encounters - especially if I knew the woman in question for awhile before we ever crossed that line together.

None of those women were looking to leave their relationship (at least not for me) and I wasn't looking to whisk them away from their situations. Let's fuck, doesn't mean, let's get married and have babies and live happily ever after.

The only trust I extended to any of them, was that they wouldn't lure me into a situation where the boyfriend or husband would be cold cocking me while her and I were cutting the rug together. Further considerations such as: I won't knock you up, and you and I won't be giving each other STDs ... are appreciated, but in the lustful heat of that moment, those things are sort of placed on the back burner, yanno?

Any man or woman who thinks they can trust someone they're involved with (in a cheating situation) in an ongoing scenario as you have initially described, CL...meh ~ I think that person is fooling himself or herself. At least I've never been that naïve.

There may have been a void there all right, and usually in my experience, it's because the sex they were once having with their spouse or mate was non-existent or sucked rocks all along. Hell, quite possibly...I couldn't satisfy their urges or cravings either.

I'm not starting up a long term relationship with that women but I'm also not going to get my panties in a bunch if said woman throws me over suddenly, either. She's cheating (just like I am with her) and it's her prerogative who she wants to see/screw.

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
JustJohn
Posted: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 3:23:31 PM

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CleverFox wrote:


But don't you think that she built the same foundation of trust with the boyfriend on which she is cheating? And if she is capable of aborting that foundation with him then what makes you think she won't do it to you?


I do think that if you cheat once you will cheat again (just my personal opinion)

But the question remains why cheat at all end it first and then start a fresh.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2012 4:29:18 AM

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CleverFox
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:19:53 AM

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SexOnWheels wrote:
Well, when I met my now wife she was married. We were chatting over the web for months then one day she caught me camming, with another guy, I had my cock out going a bit nuts, anyway she was shocked and I thought that would be it for our chats, but she admitted she now had a sexual interest in me because I'd surprised her so much with my camming wank show she wanted to meet up. It went from there.

I have no doubt both of us would cheat if we had a shitty, uncommunicative marriage, trust me, I wouldn't need to "make her" cheat. Goes the same for me too. We both know our histories fully and have a full understanding of what makes a relationship detonate into cheating and lying.


So why didn't she end her marriage first if it was so bad and then meet with you? I understand that there are bad marriages and they should end. I have no argument there. But how do you know she won't see some other guy on the Internet and do the same to you? My question has more to do with order in which things are done.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:23:18 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Every single time guys give me a hard time about my boyfriends I tell them that that kind of talk doesn't get them pussy and they stop bothering me and trust me again.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2012 5:57:38 PM

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CleverFox
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2012 8:23:27 PM

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SexOnWheels wrote:


Ah yes, ok...

firstly back to your question, which is quaintly glib. You surmise that you can make a person cheat. It is an unavoidable fact that you can't MAKE a person cheat, if a person cheats, it's that person's own personal decision.




I didn't say "make her cheat" , I said "get her to cheat" as in CONVINCE her. And once you convince her to cheat then how do you know somebody else can't convince her to cheat on you no matter how awesome you feel yourself to be?
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2012 10:18:51 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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SexOnWheels wrote:


Ah yes, ok...

firstly back to your question, which is quaintly glib. You surmise that you can make a person cheat. It is an unavoidable fact that you can't MAKE a person cheat, if a person cheats, it's that person's own personal decision. Unless you are some sort of Svengali type person, if that is the case you have my respect as a fellow creative.

You could be right of course, my wife, theoretically, could meet someone else on the net (he'd have to be be pretty fucking amazing to even be within range of my awesomeness) and so do the same unto me.

Clever, sadly the large majorities view of love and marriage is that it is based on a simplistic, puritan model. This model deos not tolerate ideas that some people meet under less than ideal circumstances. If life was perfect my (now) wife and I would have agreed, by vote and wide ranging discussion with societies avatars of enlightenment that we should forthwith end our relationship for a perscribed time. Once this time has passed (what 1 year or 5?) we may begin again, under the watchful, caring, motherly gaze of our betters. And us, safe in the knowledge we acted properly.

Do you seriously think that's how life works?. Life is a chaotic mess 90% of the time.

p.s. oh, hang on a minute....You might be able to convince a partner to take part in swinging or have a sexual experience with someone else, technically that could be interpreted as "making someone cheat". What's piss funny about swinging is that a LOT of people think they have the mental capacity to take part in these activities and will not be victim to jealousy, sadly though family courts are full to overflowing with "swinging experiments" that went wrong and often it's the woman who gets acussed of the cheating, even though she thought she was taking part in the repair of a "stale" marriage. I am NOT knocking people who swing, those people who can do it without their lives detonating in front of them have my utmost respect, truely. They must be wired differently (I mean that in a positive light.).

Making a person cheat, my god, what a load of abject shite!




Thank you for the very intelligent and considerate answer you have given to the question. You appear to speak with wisdom and experience on the matter. Thank you.


clapping
TheGulfCoaster
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2012 11:43:44 PM

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I'm sure there are people who cheat with no intention of screwing up whatever relationship they're in, but I think a fair amount of cheating that goes on are people who are no longer satisfied with their current relationship but want to line up something else before breaking off their current relationship (like finding a new job before quitting your old one).

There are also women who lose their inhibitions after a few drinks. When I played and sang in bands I had lots of quickie sex or gotten blowjobs from married women who had no intention of leaving their husband.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 12, 2012 9:04:57 PM

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remember
Posted: Friday, October 12, 2012 11:00:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/18/2012
Posts: -31
cheating requires a pre planned one first, if this is not first reason then its a mental situation where one forgets the honour of other, if this is not the reason it may be a dispute with our loved one, if this is not the reason then its a mind play of another dirty one without considering the feelings of other, if this is not then its a ancestral behave taken from birth. other things r also possible but my experience i have given but i dont like to cheat anybody even in dispute also i do have guts to face the truth.
Milik_the_Red
Posted: Saturday, October 13, 2012 6:01:54 AM

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Moderator

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If I had sex with her while she was attached, then I'm as guilty as she is. In my view, judging her then would be hypocritical.

Surely silence can sometimes be the most eloquent of replies
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TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Saturday, October 13, 2012 11:26:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
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Location: In a cloud of flour, Canada
CleverFox wrote:
This is for guys that like to get women to cheat on their boyfriends, husbands or other significant others.

If you get a woman to cheat with you on her significant other, that is to say, somebody she has been seeing for years, (for simplicity I am going to say 'he') and then dump him and you start a long term relationship with her, how can you trust her?

I mean, if you could get her to cheat on her boyfriend/husband, doesn't that mean that another man could get her to cheat on you?

If you are thinking that she wouldn't cheat on you because that isn't in her nature you just proved that it is her nature.

Because she tells you that she loves you? Don't you think she told those same things to the guy on which she cheated?

If you think that you are so great looking, suave, debonair and loaded with cash, I am sure there are guys better looking, have more money and have better personalities too.

So how do you trust her? Even if you are married and have children then she could really take you to the cleaners with alimony and child support. And if you have an iron-clad prenuptial agreement, that tells me you never really trusted her and if you don't trust her, how can you claim to love her?

Again, how do you trust her?


I know this is in Ask the Guys, but I'm going to answer anyways.

If you can't trust her... Why the hell would you be with her? To torment yourself? Hope they won't cheat? Why the hell put yourself through that?
Because you love them? Or because you want to possess them? That's kinda like taking the other kids toys in the sandbox. You wanted her and took her from the other guy.

If there's no trust, then there's no respect and I think those are two very important things to have in a relationship. As you get to know someone over time, you either respect and trust them... or you don't.


By the way... A prenuptial agreement is actually very smart thing to do if there's a business or family estate involved. It's not just for people that don't trust their wives or husbands to be.

Magical_felix
Posted: Saturday, October 13, 2012 11:34:44 AM

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TheDevilsWeakness wrote:


I know this is in Ask the Guys, but I'm going to answer anyways.

If you can't trust her... Why the hell would you be with her? To torment yourself? Hope they won't cheat? Why the hell put yourself through that?
Because you love them? Or because you want to possess them? That's kinda like taking the other kids toys in the sandbox. You wanted her and took her from the other guy.

If there's no trust, then there's no respect and I think those are two very important things to have in a relationship. As you get to know someone over time, you either respect and trust them... or you don't.


By the way... A prenuptial agreement is actually very smart thing to do if there's a business or family estate involved. It's not just for people that don't trust their wives or husbands to be.




overmykneenow
Posted: Friday, October 19, 2012 2:10:24 AM

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I think if she actually wants to continue a relationship with you after her break up you have as much reason to trust or mistrust her as you do with any other woman - just be sure to not make the same mistakes her ex-partner made.

From what I've seen in other relationships (especially with women who have had online "affairs" before a separation), very rarely will a woman stick with someone she was cheating with after she leaves her partner. Most women I've known in this situation are simply looking for a get out, and even better, someone to pin the blame on. You might kid yourself that you're the one using this married woman but it's as much the other way as well.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
HappyEndings
Posted: Friday, October 19, 2012 3:32:51 AM

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I think that if HE is self confident and not selfish he will understand that SHE will stay and not cheat with him if she is happy and move on to cheat with others if SHE is not happy... It's all good either way. I wouldn't want or expect a woman to stay with me if she wasn't fully satisfied with me.

In other words... I wouldn't care if she cheated and/or eventually left me. I'd enjoy her while she was here and miss her when she was gone but I'd move on with no regrets.

Life is too short to agonize over whether someone will cheat on you or not... Enjoy what you have while you have it and you'll always be happy... If you have something good then you probably deserve it and if it leaves then something else will come along that is even better in time...

Happiness is a choice not a situation.... Don't worry... Be happy... :)



Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
gruffman76
Posted: Saturday, October 20, 2012 5:40:51 AM

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CleverFox
Is this only a hypothetical... or a little closer to home? You don't have to answer that.

I can only give my 2c worth.
Why did they cheat? And what is the foundation of the new relationship?
Both questions need good answers before proceeding.
I'll give you a tip: Boredom & Lust will not be a good indicators...
So yes you could possibly trust them but it would require sober though & open discussion.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 20, 2012 7:29:49 AM

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You know I ask myself the same question, how do I trust someone who cheated. My wife a while back was engaged to be married and she cheated on her fiance with me and of course we went on to get married. It's been over 20 years now that we've been married but sometimes I question if she's cheated on me. I do not have anything specific that she's done to cause me to wonder if she's cheated but like the original question said, how can you be sure they wouldn't cheat again?
Green_Man
Posted: Saturday, October 20, 2012 8:53:06 PM

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It is quite simple for me. I am a great judge of character. I would be able to read her like a book.

Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 20, 2012 11:09:20 PM

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Yes you can trust them. If you look to deeply into any given relationship you will probably find enough self loathing that you will not trust. In my experience with married woman who cheat there are a few things that make it happen....

1) they like the naughty aspect of cheating
2) they have low self worth and gain that self worth by being desired. Who doesn't want to feel desired?
3) their spouse/SO is an asshole or bad in bed....
4) They are bored.....

You could go on and on. The reasons very with each person. I don't think you can or can't trust them any more than if they didn't cheat....

Irish
redhot363236
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 2:18:24 AM

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Some people thrive on the rush, but for most women, jumping into an affair is hard. Usually it's when things become either too boring or too unbearable at home that things happen. I once sent one of my most trusted friends out of my life rather than face up to the feelings that were growing between us. I was trying to keep it from becoming an affair, but to this day, I wonder if I did the right thing ….

He was probably the only one I would have seriously thought about leaving my husband for; but sending my closest friend and adviser (who was going through a lot of the same crap I was at the time) away made life that more unbearable for both us. My first sexual adventure (more of a one time fling with a friend than an affair) happened about six months later …

It was good, but not with the person I really wished for. < sigh > That was 15 years ago, and I still wonder if we weren’t brought together at that particular place and time for a reason … Some of my stories explore my fantasies about what might happen if we did get together again

I have a lot of fantasies, and Lush gives me an outlet to explore them without the guilt of an affair. That, and I love teasing the guys ;)

tuffer3
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 3:18:04 AM

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It's not only women it's men also. And no you can't trust them not to cheat. But how ever. There are ways you can get over that nasty speed bump. And still have a great life with that person
doctorlove
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 6:03:05 AM

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dont trust anyone!
elitfromnorth
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 7:06:33 AM

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If you got so close that you didn't only shag her, you also got so close that you're considering a relationship then surely you know why she cheated. If it was because her husband was shagging the nanny or any other thing that makes him a bad man then you just need to make sure not to do the same thing.

If she just cheated because he wasn't up to par in bed then you can be damn sure she'll go looking for another cock if you don't satisfy her completely, and you either need a lot of confidence or communication to be sure she doesn't screw around.

Regardless, going into a relationship with someone that just cheated and doesn't feel guilty about it is far from ideal as long as there's a connection that's really strong.

But I'd also question your own morals as to your morals and how trustworthy you are. After all, ethical rules doesn't seem to apply to you...

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
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