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Magical_felix
Posted: Friday, December 17, 2010 8:12:25 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,196
Location: California
Quote:
I would prefer to have a full-time job as well. However, if this is something my significant other wants, then I'll be completely supportive. Time will tell. :)



Bahahaha you better get to work then champ...



rxtales
Posted: Friday, December 17, 2010 9:25:20 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/28/2008
Posts: 2,589
Location: Newcastle, United Kingdom
My dad was a stay at home dad. We moved to the UK, because of my mum's job. They decided it was best that one of them stayed home with us, so naturally it was my dad.
PaperGangster
Posted: Saturday, December 18, 2010 9:17:36 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/16/2010
Posts: 81
Magical_felix wrote:
Quote:
I would prefer to have a full-time job as well. However, if this is something my significant other wants, then I'll be completely supportive. Time will tell. :)



Bahahaha you better get to work then champ...


Ohh I will.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 25, 2012 9:21:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
Magical_felix wrote:
A stay-at-home dad is a man who does not have a traditional job outside of the home and is his children's primary caregiver and also the homemaker for his family while his wife has the sole responsibility of making all the money. Stay-at-home dads are on the rise in countries like the United states, Canada and England while staying fairly uncommon in Asia, Latin America and the Middle East.

What is your opinion on this? Is it culturally acceptable where you live? Is the term stay-at-home dad a nicer way of saying deadbeat dad? What would your parents think if you told them you or if youre a woman, your husband plans to make a career out of raising the children and keeping a nice home? What advantages or disadvantages do you see with this practice?


I dont think its uncommon in Asia. I have a few woman acquaintances that confessed having a stay-at-home hubby and they all pretty cool about it. As for myself, I am old school . Although I am a self confessed workaholic, I think I will let this high flying career go and opt to deal with diapers, and the difficulty of creating new meals every day for my family when times comes. I enjoy pampering my man when he comes back from work. Yeah, i know you heard that before, somewhere but the art of making a man feel loved and care for even after 3 kids is time management. If I can manage a company and divide my times to accommodate 3 departments, I can definitely manage a household.

TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Wednesday, July 25, 2012 10:02:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,330
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
deFirenze wrote:

If I can manage a company and divide my times to accommodate 3 departments, I can definitely manage a household.


Good luck with that. Managing a company means being able to delegate and work with people that (hopefully) understand more than "Goo goo ga ga". There is no delegation unless you have a nanny or help. YOU do all the work.
I'd say trust me on this, but you'll find out for yourself.
Kids work well on a schedule but they are prone to throwing you curveballs... or throwing up... on your shoes... when you least expect it. Guess who cleans that up? While running for a thermometer, calling the doctor, grabbing a mop and a puke bucket while this kid is screaming their everloving head off, finding out your children's tylenol has run out/expired and your car has a flat tire. Yup... good luck with that.
OH and don't forget the all-nighters. Now your tired and rundown and you catch the same thing your child has. How's that dinner making thing working out for ya now? You'll be lucky if you can make toast at this point. Laundry? HAHAHA. How about vaccuuming... or dusting... or even tending to a pet? You'll barely drag yourself off the couch long enough to clean up another round of flu symptoms.
And that's only with one kid. Try that with 2 or 3 and you'll be ripping out your hair.
Stay-at-home dad's? Yup. I'm all for it. I would LOVE to treat the father of my children EXACTLY the same way he treated me. I guarantee he'd be as pissed off as I was with him.

Don't get me wrong. It's not always this bad. But it's no walk in the park.

Shylass
Posted: Thursday, July 26, 2012 8:45:54 AM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,653
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
I know quite a few stay-at-home dads, as well as single dads, raising their kids alone. Some of them enjoy it, some of them wish they could go back to work, if they don't work from home, but they are doing what is best for their kids. It's happening more and more in the UK, and generally, most people are okay with it - neccessity, as well as changing lifestyles and attitudes.

I have nothing but respect for the loving parents that I know, because I know for a fact that I couldn't cope with having my own children. They never cease to amaze me with their patience, control (of themselves!), fairness and love. They don't always get it right, but how they react when they get it wrong makes me admire them all the more, whatever gender they are. Different parents bring different things to a family, whatever size that family happens to be.

As far as I'm concerned, a family needs give and take, and sometimes, parents have to sacrifice things they desperately want for the sake of their children, or their partner. That is the price of being a parent (whether that was planned or not).

One friend of mine has had to stay at home because he has some medical conditions that prevent him from doing certain types of work, or because people discriminate against him, saying he can't do certain types. His wife brings in the money, comes home, and then goes out to bingo. He's ex-forces, and used to doing what certain ex-forces do. So whilst he loves his children, taking care of them, and maintaining a healthy home, he finds it frustrating because of the things he is unable to do due to disability, and is desperate for the independence and challenge and space of just having a life outside the home can bring. Now that his children are getting older, and his marriage is not what it once was, he is fighting with everything he has to expand his personal horizons, and whilst I can share any details with you, I am so proud of him. He has got to a point where being treated like a skivvy and a slave (not in the fun way) is either going to break him, or make him fight back. And so he is fighting back to regain his self-worth and dignity, and people who know him cannot be less than impressed with his attitude and the things that he will suffer to do what he feels is right for him. And his children will still have their SuperDad.

Another friend of mine is a published author who travels sometimes to lecture in universities and for organisations and groups. But most of the time, he is a stay-at-home dad. Now that the kids are older, he has more time for himself during the day. He used to go fishing during the night after doing his housework/childcare during the day (we never knew when he slept, if at all!), as well as his writing, but now he does things during the day too, until he goes to collect the kids from school. Their set-up is by choice because it suited their individual choices for lifestyle, and monetary circumstances did not dictate it for them.

The only difference I feel between the lads and the stay-at-home mums I know is that some people are surprised when they hear the lads are the ones who stay at home, as if it's weird. But for us, it's just the norm.


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
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clum
Posted: Thursday, July 26, 2012 9:16:11 AM

Rank: Clumeleon
Moderator

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 5,182
Location: Kirkcaldy, United Kingdom
This is my ideal. I would love to be a stay-at-home dad.

I think it's becoming less and less common for either parent not to work (in the traditional sense) and neither women nor men are expected to stay at home these days. I don't know many people in that situation although it's certainly not "frowned upon" or anything like that; people are usually just a little surprised. It's financially difficult for couples to do this these days, escpecially if they have a young family.

However, I can think of nothing better. Staying at home, making it a wonderful place to live, looking after the kids, running errands, making a lovely meal for my wife who's been out working all day - bliss. Give me that any day of the week.

And I don't consider myself work-shy - I would work my ass off to be the best house-husband I possibly could be. I would do everything if my wife agreed to be the sole bread-winner, no questions asked.

I'm very family-oriented and can't wait to raise a family of my own. Social norms be damned, I want to be at home with my kids as much as I can.

She Just Wants To Be

Third place entry in the Toy With Me competition.
adele
Posted: Saturday, August 04, 2012 4:19:17 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 21,401
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
I don't personally know any stay at home dads, but I sure don't see anything wrong with it. For what ever reason it may entail, father loses his job, or is able to work from home, or just makes less money than is spouse, I see it as a good thing.

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ramrod32784
Posted: Monday, August 13, 2012 7:55:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 558
Location: Fl, United States
What is it that will make someone happy.Women lobbied for years to change society and rightfully so;but they're still not happy with it.I was raised to be a gentleman and yet now if I hold a door for a woman I get a dirty look or a snide remark.Some women want a career so allowances have to be made and if the guy stays home he is wrong someone has to do it.Yes I'm sure there are a lot of male jerks out there.But it is just like relationship once a guy learns the rules change the rules on him
blazestcyr
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 8:15:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
i am a stay at home mom..though i did teach , go to school & ran my own business at 1 point

i am all for the guys who are married to powerful coporate women to stay at home

for i believe that 1 parent shoud be home IF ALL possible

however their father would have loved it..but he would not had had the kids picked up on time, the meals cooked, the laundry done, the house cleaned, the volunteering at school, five

million kids parties, class projects, playdates, birthdays & holidays plus kept is body rocking

he would have done what he liked to do..not what was best for the child

so whomever stays home it should be for the children, who's career can help them achieve THEIR dreams...as we had...for us

so yes if he was a GREAT mom absolutely
Guest
Posted: Saturday, November 03, 2012 10:07:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
Hats off to them! My Dad was never ashamed of being a housedad for a while. When my Mom was diagnosed with bone cancer late last year, he had to stop working to take care of her. It was his own choice..we never forced him, since my sister's and I helped out financially to provide for my mom's medical needs. He wanted to be with her and make up for lost time. I admire Dad for leaving a part of his macho side..his traditional side..that a man should never wear an apron, instead he should be in a suit..Dad gave that all up. It was worth it!! He was a great cook. Better than anyone of us. Every weekend was special because we look forward doing small stuff..like doing the laundry, cleaning the entire house or moving furniture. Dad died 3 months after my Mom passed away...I think he couldn't leave her forever.
JillMom
Posted: Thursday, November 08, 2012 8:39:44 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 8
Location: United States
Guest wrote:
really i believe that if it is at all possible one parent should stay home to care for the children. and no i dont think it matters which one...whichever one is best suited. and if neither are then maybe they should re-think the choice to have one only to let it be raised by nannies and day care workers.

sadly though, our economy doesnt allow for it easily. i consider myself sooo fortunate that i can stay home with my kids :)


I agree with this!! Caring for a child is more than changing diapers, feeding, clothing and protecting the child.

Some have stated here that today it takes two incomes these days and I will argue that is false. If you search you can find studies done on this exact matter and the results may shock you. On average, that second income nets the family an additional $100 per week regardless of the income levels within reason. Costs like child care, eating out more often, that additional car, extra insurance, extra clothing, extra gasoline and car maintenance, and on and on eat up that second income leaving very little to actually improve family finances. You could do much better if one of the parents got a part-time job and was only gone when the other parent was home. Doing that the additional costs could be eliminated and there would always be a parent at home with the children, which is priceless in my opinion.

As for which parent should stay home .... that depends on the two parents. Which one can obtain the best work situation and income? Which one has the ability to nurture the children? Can they both accept roles that are generally different than society norms?
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