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WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, June 2, 2011 7:43:19 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,862
Location: Cakeland, United States
combination health snack - sex toy which was planned to be introduced to his legions of fans during his heyday in the mid eighties. The irony was that edible device was also a slick chocolate nutbar promoted by Elizabeth Taylor, yet it was this product's versatility which ...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Friday, June 3, 2011 2:24:15 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 819,674
most often triggered his acute paraskavedekatriaphobia. The last time it happened, he'd ended up in the ER chatting up a nurse who...
saturdaynight
Posted: Saturday, June 4, 2011 12:44:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/11/2010
Posts: 1,055
Location: at your back! BOO!
was poking him with needles all the while chattering what she and her boyfriend did last night in the operating room

Smile at your enemies.. It makes them crazy...

Fogticus
Posted: Wednesday, June 22, 2011 2:38:39 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 19
Location: United States
which was probably the wildest latex-glove water-balloon fight that ever took place in this hospital. The puddles of water had dried overnight but there were still fragments of...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, June 23, 2011 7:58:39 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,862
Location: Cakeland, United States
shredded dignity, dripping from the walls and ceiling. Meanwhile, at the edge of Okefenokee Swamp, a shy Bigfoot peered into the open flapping entrance of a tent...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
LadySharon
Posted: Friday, June 24, 2011 7:23:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,184
Location: The Tundra, United States
...and asked for a razor and shaving cream, because he was feeling a bit hairy and wanted to get rid of the excess hair to impress Little Miss Muffett and ask her out on a date. When he was clean shaven, he saw Miss Muffett eating what appeared to be oatmeal and approached her. Miss Muffett looked up and asked,...

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Jillicious
Posted: Friday, June 24, 2011 9:38:27 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
If train A leaves Chicago at 3:45 PM traveling at a constant rate of 50 mph and train B leaves New York at 4:00 PM traveling at a constant rate of 35 mph, then what time will they serve dinner? After asking such a question Miss Muffett returned to her tuffet and began eating her...

Thousands of user submitted stories removed from the site. You are nothing without your users or their freely submitted stories.
saturdaynight
Posted: Friday, June 24, 2011 10:40:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/11/2010
Posts: 1,055
Location: at your back! BOO!
tamales that she brought out from a big basket behind her. Apparently, she's hungry and can't wait for dinner that she asked a....

Smile at your enemies.. It makes them crazy...

Fogticus
Posted: Sunday, June 26, 2011 3:51:13 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 19
Location: United States
naked man named Spider who sat down beside her if she could lick him since he looked so delicious.
"Yes, you may," he replied excitedly, then stood in front of her and....
Jillicious
Posted: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:09:23 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
...started crying because he felt responsible for his uncle's untimely demise. Uncle Ben, who loved his rice like he loved his heroes...

Thousands of user submitted stories removed from the site. You are nothing without your users or their freely submitted stories.
DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:51:32 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,910
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...yes heroes, those long sandwiches were something he felt the utmost respect for...in fact, it inflamed him on the inside every time someone used the word "hoagie"...he thought it showed a lack of respect for the one thing he felt so strongly about. In fact, every time he even heard the mention of the word "hoagie" he could barely contain his anger, at one time he even went as far as...


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nicola
Posted: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:01:57 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 27,617
...dialing the Hoagie Hatred Advice Line (HHAL). He was answered by a delectable sounding young lady, who went by the name of pink tranquility. They got on like a house on fire, and it turned out that pink tranquility didn't live all that far away, so they decided to...
scooter
Posted: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:16:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Head to Pittsburgh to watch the Pirates play the Penguins with Pinks sister Purple.
After Their fill of pizza, pop, peanuts, and popcorn, Pink says; lets jump that train and...
Jillicious
Posted: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 11:52:46 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
...be hobos for a year. If you could only imagine the adventures we would have! We could eat beans out of cans, sleep in tent cities, and even...

Thousands of user submitted stories removed from the site. You are nothing without your users or their freely submitted stories.
Simonize
Posted: Thursday, June 30, 2011 12:05:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 360
Location: At my computer sheesh, United States
... Hop on to a freight train bound for somewhere in the middle of...

Ehhhhh, What's up Doc?
scooter
Posted: Thursday, June 30, 2011 8:24:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
The Pacific Ocean. There we could dive for canned Lobsters and Star kissed Tuna. Cut all the tree's down and build a mansion on the lake.
After going ice skating, and building a fire...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, June 30, 2011 10:06:53 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,862
Location: Cakeland, United States
we could plug our laptops into the smoldering embers and practice editing each other's erotic stories. Who knows, we might even invent a new language, create a new fad, or at the very least...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
scooter
Posted: Thursday, June 30, 2011 10:19:42 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Have sex on the water bed. We could build a plane with pontoons out of scrap that we salvage from the bottom of Lake Pacifica,
And fly to...
jacobport
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 9:21:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/14/2010
Posts: 599
Location: Liverpool, United States
The celebration of rubber bands, held each year in a place called Boston. Its the cities most famed celebration. Even more famous than.....

"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 9:25:47 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,862
Location: Cakeland, United States
The Running of The Yetis, in Timbuktu. As usual, there will be those who whine about the censorship occurring on a free, erotica-themed, adult networking site, while a sane man would realize that nothing is freer than the feeling of ...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Jillicious
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 10:31:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
...running backwards through a corn field with his pants down. An enticing feel, so many ears of corn quickly working a man's ass brings about...

Thousands of user submitted stories removed from the site. You are nothing without your users or their freely submitted stories.
Fogticus
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 12:54:59 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 19
Location: United States
...a uniquely flavored kernel ideal for kettle corn. It is rumored that after munching a fistful of kettle corn prepared this way, a popular member of Lush was so…
Jillicious
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 1:33:38 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
...full of himself that he regarded all other Lushies as being inferior. So he insulted everyone straightaway before storming off into the blue. Everyone had a quick sigh of relief. Boy is he really...

Thousands of user submitted stories removed from the site. You are nothing without your users or their freely submitted stories.
jacobport
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 3:00:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/14/2010
Posts: 599
Location: Liverpool, United States
.....in for a surprise when he gets home. Emails, emails, emails. More Emails then he could ever imagine!! One in particular stood out. The question asked of him was......

"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 3:28:21 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,910
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? He pondered for a moment if there was some deeply hidden philosophical meaning here, and if perhaps the fate of all mankind depended on his answer...he figured he'd best call...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

nicola
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 4:21:00 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 27,617
...his sister in law, who was an expert in tautology. Her line was engaged however, so he decided instead, to give up on that particular chucking conundrum, and focus on a more pressing matter...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 8:27:38 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,862
Location: Cakeland, United States
The lithe brunette's firm, denim covered ass, which had been backed up and shoved into the front of his pelvis. As he gazed down upon Miss Perfect Butt's delicious V-shaped torso, he noticed out of the corner of his right eye, that he was standing, barefooted in a large pool of...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
jacobport
Posted: Thursday, July 7, 2011 10:47:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/14/2010
Posts: 599
Location: Liverpool, United States
Freshly roasted marshmallows. While wasting time on the thought of how they got there, he didn't realize......

"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, July 7, 2011 11:09:19 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,862
Location: Cakeland, United States
that his mobile butt plug had eased out and he was in danger of staining his brand new, designer khaki cargo shorts. But that's just one risk of free swinging, commando-style...the benefits far outweighed...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
jacobport
Posted: Thursday, July 7, 2011 3:49:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/14/2010
Posts: 599
Location: Liverpool, United States
an offensive line that had just finished a feeding frenzie at the all-u-can eat buffet. In fact, if you think about it......

"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
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