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Unexpected endings - writing challenge (ongoing) Options · View
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 7:28:48 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
....and regretting ever having left Cheltenham to explore the world.

Across the vast waters of the Atlantic Ocean Hurricane Danielle gathered herself and swiftly....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 10:58:37 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,756
Location: Cakeland, United States
migrated across the Florida peninsula, as a Cat5 hurricane and then removed all the oil from the Gulf and deposited it throughout the southern tier landmass of U.S. states. The good news is, the Gulf of Mexico is fit to fish and play in; the bad news is...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 11:28:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
....there has been a collapse in the sales of hair gel and an upsurge of guys walking around in leather jackets shouting "Ha-aaay!!" whilst menacingly waving their thumbs!!!

Meanwhile, the geeky nerds of the world had managed to crack the security protocols preventing them from opening e-harmony accounts and were now....



"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 11:51:45 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,756
Location: Cakeland, United States
furiously cybering with all of the available former super-models who constantly scanned the online dating regions for their life-changing white knights.

One such nerd, Niebaum, had created a portable auto-masturbatory machine which would...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 12:12:41 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 20,558
Location: My Tower, United States
Also slice and dice, and make Juilen potatos, making him a small fortune in Television driven sales.

He used his small fortune to build a two man rocketship to fufil his dream of...



Love not hate.
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 12:20:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
....finally winning the Nerdiest Nerd at the Vegas Star Trek convention.

Grateful that his lycra pants did not make his butt look too big, he swaggered over to.......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Southern_Sass
Posted: Wednesday, August 25, 2010 5:27:58 AM

Rank: Miss Sassy Pants

Joined: 3/14/2010
Posts: 6,522
Location: Ridin the Waves of Lush, United States
...the dance floor when the song 'Baby Got Back' and shook that thang.

Early in the morning, while everyone is still in bed, she wakes up with a...

mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, August 25, 2010 6:27:04 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
......curiously shaped two-man rocket resting between her legs and smiles.

She sighed and wondered if "Holly would free" herself from her inhibitions long enough to.........

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, September 7, 2010 11:33:33 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 27,470
...discover the art of motorcycle maintenance. There was nothing she liked better than a huge chopper between her legs, except perhaps...
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 7:24:32 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
....watching Nicola encourage MK to again draw his lance from its sheath for her amusement.

Pleased at her ability to resurrect a seemingly dead train of thought she decided to slip on her sexiest cfm heels and call..............

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 9:29:37 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,331
...for a pizza. The two Rio brothers, Pablo and Chico, were due in town, and what better way to celebrate their arrival than to...
DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 9:49:04 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,900
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...re-load her shotgun. She had been waiting to get back at those two bastards ever since she heard that they...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
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WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 11:41:56 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,756
Location: Cakeland, United States
had violated the covenant of Crappers Quarterly (don't ask). Instead of a gentle chiding, she was planning...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 12:17:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,331
... on stringing them up by the short hairs.

She reconsidered that option when she realised, upon looking at them, that they were preternaturally bald...
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 1:15:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....around their genitalia and couldn't resist dropping to her knees. Expectant, she took a deep breath, reached tentatively out and.....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 1:22:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,331
... answered the phone, which had been ringing with a cacophony fit to wake the dead, or those who were merely dead drunk.

Listening to the voice on the other end, she realised that once again, telemarketing had...
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 1:46:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....sensed her need for a time-share apartment in Nome, Alaska.

Drooling at the prospect of what could be done during those long Alaskan nights she decided to .........

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 2:24:15 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,900
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...do a Google search for a new deep-fried penguin recipe. She wondered if she had a big enough deep fryer and also is she needed more...


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Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Southern_Sass
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 9:52:44 PM

Rank: Miss Sassy Pants

Joined: 3/14/2010
Posts: 6,522
Location: Ridin the Waves of Lush, United States
oil, but all she had on hand was massage oil. So the penguin was out of the question, until she remembered that...

Jillicious
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 10:41:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
...she had won the red herring on a special rerun of UHF. The only thing she needed now was...

Thousands of user submitted stories removed from the site. You are nothing without your users or their freely submitted stories.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 12:42:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,331
... black silk stockings and a fancy suspender belt. Looking into the kitchen cupboard to see if they were there...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 1:44:42 AM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,017
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...she was distracted by a large jar of marshmallow fluff sitting tantalizingly on the shelf at eye level. With a wicked smile, she decided at once to...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 5:53:06 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,331
... mix it with oatmeal and treat herself to an at-home moisturising facial. She glorped it on in generous dollops, and left it for the requisite fifteen minutes. The doorbell rang, and forgetting that she was covered in the strange mixture, she opened the door to see...
mercianknight
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 10:16:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....the two Rio brothers, Pablo and Chico, who had finally been sent over by Rocco.

Realising that pizza was off the menu, the lads guided her back to the kitchen, pulled out their Hershey bars, and looked hungrily at her as they decided to.....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 11:16:42 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,756
Location: Cakeland, United States
purchase a pair of plump Chinstrap breeding penguins from the profiteering research scientists at McMurdo and ship it halfway around the globe to their cousin's husband's sister's restaurant in Nome. The very thought of introducing a penguin species into the northern hemisphere gave the Rio brothers wood; they would have the last...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
DirtyMartini
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 11:51:36 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,900
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...of the remaining marshmellow fluff sitting on the counter. But they were not done here, as they finished their meal of fluff they began to clear the counter and prepared to...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 12:05:24 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,756
Location: Cakeland, United States
take turns riding their drama Llama to their local 7-11 convenience store. Their friend, Apu was busily guarding the slurpee machine from...



*usurpation sux icon_smile

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
LadySharon
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 12:05:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,184
Location: The Tundra, United States
make hot, passionate love on the counter. Before that, the doorbell rang and....

The Roommates Trilogy:
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Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

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DirtyMartini
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2010 12:52:24 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,900
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...and a group of Jehova's Witnesses walked in and sat down. They knew it would be hours before they would be able to get to the slurpy machine Apu was guarding and tell Apu that they also needed...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

mercianknight
Posted: Friday, September 10, 2010 6:14:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
......to speak with the Police Chief because, when they relocated from Wisconsin as part of the Witness Protection Programme, this was not what they had expected. Nevertheless, they settled down to 'witness' the intended sexual depravity on the kitchen counter and each of them took out.......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
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