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Unexpected endings - writing challenge (ongoing) Options · View
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 10:51:38 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,757
Location: Cakeland, United States
"This year's most creative Lush Username is awarded to: BangNMommaDoNDaddy. Unfortunately that person could not be here tonight due to a previously scheduled incestuous engagement, accepting the honor on behalf of BNMDND is last year's winner...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 11:42:06 AM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,017
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...firmtitstightpussy4u. As the elderly gentleman made his way to the podium, his walker became entangled in...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 12:16:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
... a mess of hair curlers, inadvertently abandoned by the Lush X-Dressing Beauty Queen contestants, who were the previous group to have access to the stage. In the long slow downward slide to the floor, he had time to regret...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 12:47:15 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,017
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...his choice of attire this evening. Really, an 89-year-old man probably ought to have left the five-inch stilettos and tight leather miniskirt in the back of the closet, he thought during the slow motion fall. Instead, he should have worn...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 12:56:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
... an inflatable body suit that would have a release sensor which would activate automatically in order to buffet the portending impact of his frail but still virile frame with the supposedly resilient...
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 1:15:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
...cushioning of a Pilsbury Doughboy suit. Fortunately, the MC for the night's festivities, Nicola, was a fully trained para-medic and she quickly leapt into the fray licking her lips at the prospect of giving the wrinkly old gent a good.......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 2:34:52 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,900
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...a good stiff drink, which is what the guy really needed, and afterwards made one for herself. She then thought she heard someone call her, and when she looked over to her left...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 3:14:31 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
and realised it was just one of those living statues dressed up as Abraham Lincoln.He was covered in cheap gold paint. She resisted the urge to flash him and instead focussed all her energy on...
mercianknight
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 5:38:25 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....spraying him with furniture polish and giving him a good buffing to bring out the lustre in the paint. Satisfied with her efforts, she slipped her duster in her handbag, turned to the audience and.....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 5:42:03 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
...did a spectacular rap rendition of The Mikado, from beginning to end, and singing everything herself. The crowd went...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 9:41:56 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,757
Location: Cakeland, United States
into a state of mass hypnosis and resembled...zombies. Not your regular, run-of-the-mill zombies either, they were...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
standingbear
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 11:10:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2010
Posts: 196
Location: the twilight zone
members of Congress. All of them appeared to have just finished eating and one of them, the tall one in back had...

"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Jillicious
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 11:33:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
fur covering his body like a giant bear. Wait, he really was a bear! His eye caught yours as he began lunging forward...

Thousands of user submitted stories removed from the site. You are nothing without your users or their freely submitted stories.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 12:48:36 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
...but I had a jar of Ursine Brand Honey -- copyrighted, all rights reserved, plagiarisers will be cooked as usual, you know, all the usual warnings apply -- cleverly concealed in the palm of the hand I extended to him! He was instantly mollified by the sight of it, to my relief. Turning ever so slowly and quietly away, I headed towards the exit...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 1:19:28 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,757
Location: Cakeland, United States
and gingerly applied some of the remaining sugary glop to my own honey pot! The effect was sensational and I made a mental note to buy stock in that company, just as soon...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
standingbear
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 3:14:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2010
Posts: 196
Location: the twilight zone
as I regained my sanity or escaped from the mental ward. Turning from the nurses window I ...

"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 3:17:16 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
...washed the mess off my hands in the men's room. I couldn't help but notice the Zeppelin music being played on accordian from the Muzak. The pain was unbearable, so I....
standingbear
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 3:45:28 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2010
Posts: 196
Location: the twilight zone
filled my ears with the wax I had dug out of other patient's ears and crouched down to...

"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 4:40:18 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,757
Location: Cakeland, United States
better listen to and hear what the tiles on the floor were whispering to me. Perhaps I had too much wax in my ears, or maybe...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
standingbear
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 9:34:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2010
Posts: 196
Location: the twilight zone
offered to sell me a set of encyclopedias at a very reasonable price. I knew there was no point in arguing, so I...

"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
standingbear
Posted: Thursday, September 30, 2010 9:36:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2010
Posts: 196
Location: the twilight zone
i am losing my mind, i swear there was someone posting between me and rocco, a beautiful woman with ...

"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Southern_Sass
Posted: Friday, October 1, 2010 5:52:38 AM

Rank: Miss Sassy Pants

Joined: 3/14/2010
Posts: 6,522
Location: Ridin the Waves of Lush, United States
beautiful brown eyes, sensual lips and a killer smile. She slid forward and placed her hand on...

mercianknight
Posted: Friday, October 1, 2010 6:45:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....the TV remote. Insanely, she switched channels and instead of watching the football, the room was filled with the sounds of....


"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
DirtyMartini
Posted: Friday, October 1, 2010 1:56:10 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,900
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
...some late night informercial about chatting with hot-looking women in my area. I thought about calling the number on the screen, but when I looked at the number, I realized it was the number to...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, October 1, 2010 2:53:24 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,757
Location: Cakeland, United States
my mother's 93 yr old aunt Hilda; "WOW" I thought, now feverishly eager to call. Carnal incest phone sex and it wasn't even going to be an expensive 900 number charge to me; but then as I excitedly pressed the buttons on my cell phone and was unzipping my slacks...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
standingbear
Posted: Saturday, October 2, 2010 4:56:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2010
Posts: 196
Location: the twilight zone
I realized that I'd wandered into the visitor's area. With my hand in my pants, I took one look across the room at a beautiful blond with bedroom eyes and...

"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
mercianknight
Posted: Monday, October 4, 2010 6:34:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
...."Hiya Bill, they turned the Footie off in there, can I join you?" He tossed back his golden locks, pulled back the covers on his gurney, gave me a wicked smile and......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 1:32:56 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
... jumped to his feet and started doing a Highland Fling, dressed as he was in a kilt, sgian dubh tucked into his hose and a rather furry sporan covering his...
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 1:48:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
grotesquely broken nose, and eyed out the small creature that scurried hastily across the slippery floor to ......
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 4:04:14 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,509
... to a doorway that I had never seen before, before I realised what was going on I was slipping through this door myself and was met on the other side by a beautiful, but small, girl. Hi i'm Alice, have you come for the.......
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