Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Unexpected endings - writing challenge (ongoing) Options · View
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 5:20:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
...the erectile function test? I was led by the hand to a small, sterile room and asked to remove my clothing. Once naked, I stood in front of the small woman as she, in turn, reached toward me and ...
mercianknight
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 5:32:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
....removed all the lint from my belly button and carefully placed in it a small glass jar. She then opened the door, letting in an 8 foot tall gorilla, and left me standing there waiting for.....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 7:21:15 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
...him to inspect the lint in the jar. Once he had completed the task, he licked his lips, looked down at me with those brown beady eyes, and ...
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 10:08:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
.... said, you know what? I see a lot of lint in my job but this is high content Viscose, Its really bad for sensitive skin like yours! I not sure if I was more amazed at the fact he could talk or when he dropped his trousers and showed me his....
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 11:16:32 AM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,017
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...'scientific credentials' allowing him to conduct research on primates. Hey, I'm a primate, I thought a millisecond too late, after the gorilla had already...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 11:52:15 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
... scooped me into his strong arms, and commenced that Highland Fling, treating me as though I were a set of bag pipes. As my wind box was compressed to the maximum tolerable...
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 1:50:19 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,017
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...compression ratio allowed under guidelines of the International Society of Pulmonary Physicians (see the paper, Maximum Tolerable Laryngeal Effect of Being Squeezed Like a Bagpipe by an 8-Foot Gorilla, 2006), my mind drifted to thoughts of the lead researcher on that project, a firm and statuesque Swedish scientist who...

Maggie Rascal
mercianknight
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 1:52:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....slipped my mind when, with a deafening below from his lungs, Tarzan swung down from the rafters and scooped me out of the arms of the Gorilla and we flew out of the window landing on the grassy verge overlooking I95. "You not Jane," he said sadly, right before he.............

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:19:23 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
... he got right into performing that Highland Fling, which we all hope will be completed before the end of the month. To his surprise, The Village People joined in with a chorus of YMCA, and scooped him into their midst, making Jane realise that she was better off dating...
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, October 26, 2010 7:16:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.... Gypsy because of her renowned silver tongue and her collection of 'Strap ons'. Turning her back forever on Tarzan, she pulled out her iphone and dialled....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, October 26, 2010 8:02:28 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,858
Location: Cakeland, United States
Miss Cleo, of the Psychic Reader's Network. Gypsy had developed her own hunch, but she desired a second opinion and...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Tuesday, October 26, 2010 12:21:30 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,017
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...her prescient notion was confirmed — they were, indeed, destined to perform the Highland Fling before month's end. But just as Jane and Gypsy were in the midst of their all-female flinging frenzy, they caught sight of Tarzan and the gorilla striding toward them, both bearing expressions of pure...

Maggie Rascal
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 27, 2010 9:32:55 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
.... astonishment!! "My god, is that a real set of bag pipes or is Olly the Octopus enjoying being blown?" said Tarzan to the captivated onlookers whose eyes seemed transfixed on.....
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 27, 2010 12:58:05 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
...his grip of the thick vine. It had been a hot summer, and sales of his Tarzan Mud Block® sunblock had gone through the forest roof. Why, just the other day he saw a buxom blonde...
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 27, 2010 12:58:21 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
... filing her nails while smoking an unfiltered French cigarette, leaving tell tale rings of deep red lip stick on his...
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 28, 2010 3:33:19 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
... equine propagating proboscis. He wondered, "will that stain?" as he carefully removed he tell tail marks with tongue spit, and a hankie that he procured from his ...
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 28, 2010 3:38:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
magic top hat. 'Thank goodness for extra big hats' he thought happily. He decided that he would channel his inner 'Oompa-Loompa' at the National Mime Awards later. He put on his...
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, October 28, 2010 7:15:24 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,858
Location: Cakeland, United States
recyclable condom, the pretty ribbed lavender colored Magnum, which had only been used 43 times at last count. Creeping stealthily to the window facing his grandparent's backyard, he...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
mercianknight
Posted: Friday, October 29, 2010 5:56:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
...pulled out his squeegy and began to clean the windows, cursing the way his chores kept him from logging into his Lush account. As he moved around the house ready to clean the sliding glass doors, he saw....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 29, 2010 3:56:29 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
A killer cyborg from Outer Space walk past.Well he certainly looked to him like one, though he had never actually seen on until this very moment. He cleaned his monocle and pulled out a rifle from his kitchen cabinet. It was his 'Just in case of Zombie Outbreak Emergency' rifle. As he was inserting armour piercing bullets into it he looked up in horror as ....
WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, October 30, 2010 5:57:36 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,858
Location: Cakeland, United States
he felt first one, then two cyborg digits begin to invade and then probe his anal grommet. He was enjoying the moment, terrified that he might not be the heterosexual prude he had always prided himself to be, but instead...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
mercianknight
Posted: Monday, November 1, 2010 5:59:45 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
......slapped the cyborg upside his head and (disappointedly?) pointed to the 115volt socket telling the cyborg, "That's where you re-charge, you donkey!" He staggered out of the room leaving the cyborg, a throbbing mass of flesh and machine, recharging on the floor when Gypsy entered from the side door and, mouth agape, approached the man-machine and......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Monday, November 1, 2010 7:26:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
... calmly read the care tag which indicated that the Life Time Unlimited Warranty had been written in such a way that it was an acrostic, revealing the secrets of self-rejuvenation. She kicked the pile of cyborg junk aside and laughed, knowing that...
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, November 2, 2010 5:30:06 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
......machines are never as good as the real thing and in her heart still yearned for her Mercian Knight to slip on that kilt and have a fling with her. She rushed to her computer, logged on to her e-mail account and positively glowed when she saw......

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Rosehay
Posted: Wednesday, November 3, 2010 8:21:54 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/31/2010
Posts: 15
that a Nigerian relative, of whose existence she had never been aware, had left her fifteen million dollars in his will, and she had only to follow these simple instructions to inherit. First,
mercianknight
Posted: Wednesday, November 3, 2010 12:36:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
.....she needed to switch her web-cam on, resplendent in "Madonna-esque" basque with tassles. Second.....

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, November 3, 2010 1:25:26 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,858
Location: Cakeland, United States
she needed to pick up and clean, at least the room and immediate vicinity which the web camera could see. Clothing, underwear, stockings and shoes piled in masses about the flat would give a wrong message, not to mention...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
mercianknight
Posted: Thursday, November 4, 2010 12:44:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,025
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
......taking down her 'Fathead' poster of Larry the Cable Guy. Suitably prepared, she logged onto the the url given in the email and...........

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, November 18, 2010 5:00:59 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,858
Location: Cakeland, United States
discovered to her chagrin that she had been rerouted to the last page of the internet. Looking down her bare torso, she noticed a lint bunny peeking out of her...

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
magnificent1rascal
Posted: Friday, November 19, 2010 12:57:00 PM

Rank: Divine Rapscallion

Joined: 8/15/2010
Posts: 3,017
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
...keyboard, wedged between the "m" key and the space bar. This, she figured, was what had caused the unfortunate misdirection. She used tweezers to pry out the lint, and as she removed the last speck of it, the computer spontaneously started over at the beginning of the Internet — the web page for Al Gore, Inventor of the Internet — where she was surprised to learn...

Maggie Rascal
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.