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If you had a time machine and got stuck in the Middle Ages? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 4:44:35 AM

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And you couldn´t come back to 2010, what would you do? What knowledge , skills, or techniques would you use to survive and get along with the people? The opition "hey guys, I come from the future" is not valid, so you would have to pretend you were a local, I guess you'd be an step ahead technologywise, but at the same time you would have to be careful not to look too ahead or they could think you are a witch/devil and burn you.

Middle Ages, or any other ancient time.
LusciousLola
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 5:58:22 AM

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I think could be a great idea for a story competition.
MrNudiePants
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 7:09:47 AM

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"All right, you primitive screwheads... This... Is... My... BOOMSTICK!"

--Ash, Army of Darkness
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 8:16:48 AM

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Taking advantage of the situation and pretending your are some sort of superior form of life in order to create your own pack of sexual slaves???

Mmmm, well, if it was the only option left...
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 10:07:34 AM

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MrNudiePants wrote:
"All right, you primitive screwheads... This... Is... My... BOOMSTICK!"

--Ash, Army of Darkness



CLASSIC one of the funniest movies going
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 10:12:30 AM

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Damn- as a bi-racial woman, I'd be screwed pretty much no matter when or where I went back in time. This could cause nightmares. I think I'll stay right here if I can, it's never been so good.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 10:39:45 AM

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LadyX wrote:
Damn- as a bi-racial woman, I'd be screwed pretty much no matter when or where I went back in time. This could cause nightmares. I think I'll stay right here if I can, it's never been so good.



LadyX, what about pre-1492 America? We could go together and become King and Queen, and teach the locals how to build firearms and home-made bombs and destroy the Spanish ships as soon as they show up.
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 10:42:14 AM

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javier wrote:
LadyX wrote:
Damn- as a bi-racial woman, I'd be screwed pretty much no matter when or where I went back in time. This could cause nightmares. I think I'll stay right here if I can, it's never been so good.



LadyX, what about pre-1492 America? We could go together and become King and Queen, and teach the locals how to build firearms and home-made bombs and destroy the Spanish ships as soon as they show up.


Start a new world empire with you? I'm in.

By the way, do you give head? It's kind of contingent upon that. Let me know, thanks!
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 10:54:35 AM

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LadyX wrote:
Start a new world empire with you? I'm in.

By the way, do you give head? It's kind of contingent upon that. Let me know, thanks!



Of course, of course. We will have a convertible royal throne so that I can give you head while presiding over an official dinner, or some cocktail party, just pressing a botton and the whole thing will automatically adopt the give-head position, so my neck wont suffer any stress, and your delicate little gem gets a proper royal treatment.

Jeez...I am already looking up "time machine for beginners" on google, no time to spare!!
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 11:02:04 AM

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I'd find someone nice and retire to the back woods and use my knowledge to make a really nice place to live
Concretus
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 11:27:43 AM

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First thing would be finding something to wear to look like a local I guess, unless u arrive back in time naked offcourse, then depends where u land..............
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 7:11:29 PM

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Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 7:13:57 PM

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Location: Your dirty fantasy
I went to a party once that had this "psychic" that was able to read our "energies" and know what we were in a past life (yeah I know... but I had to play along). The "psychic" said that in a past life I was a madam of a high class brothel.

While I don't believe her fortune-telling abilities or past-life analysis abilities, I always thought that would be a fun occupation, so I'd probably pick that. I'd have the hottest wenches and babes working for me, highly skilled in the arts of advanced medieval sex, and I'd be like the Heidi Fleiss of the era. glasses8

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 7:45:28 PM

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javier wrote:
Taking advantage of the situation and pretending your are some sort of superior form of life in order to create your own pack of sexual slaves???

Mmmm, well, if it was the only option left...



i would totally bring lighters with me. cuz ladyx is right, as a woman, i better be super bad ass or im gonna be toast.
MrNudiePants
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 7:49:14 PM

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LittleMissBitch wrote:


i would totally bring lighters with me. cuz ladyx is right, as a woman, i better be super bad ass or im gonna be toast.


Sure, and those lighters would really come in handy when it comes to cooking all us menfolk dinner... eat stirthepot


Lfunny


Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 7:52:20 PM

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MrNudiePants wrote:
LittleMissBitch wrote:


i would totally bring lighters with me. cuz ladyx is right, as a woman, i better be super bad ass or im gonna be toast.


Sure, and those lighters would really come in handy when it comes to cooking all us menfolk dinner... eat stirthepot


Lfunny




shush!
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 10:52:28 PM

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I'm dark haired, anglo and I can sew. Hoorah for me, I'd be set as a serf.....however I could possibly use my new age seduction techniques to marry into the upperclasses....then kill my husband and become a wealthy widow. Mmmmm knights and widows, what an epic combo.....is it wrong that this was actually my first thought? ;P
XX
BB
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 11:24:16 PM

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eiotis123 wrote:


6

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
BigDaddyRich
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 11:25:54 PM

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Location: Ridge Manor, Florida, United States
Well, I'd want to be one of the richer types, maybe royalty, so I could have my choice of ladies or fair maidens of the time.

Well that's just my opinion, sorry if you don't like.

BigDaddyRich
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, September 14, 2010 11:30:20 PM

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Location: Cakeland, United States
Fuck a bunch of going back to the middle ages.

I like plumbing too much.

Shit runs downhill, gawddamnit.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 3:42:38 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Well, since I guess this subject is already discussed in depth, I'll drop my two pearls of wisdom, I was keeping them for the end:

1- I'll advise them to boil the water before cooking and drinking. People in the past died because all the bacteria and germs in the water, specially babies. Just boiling water could have spared millions of lives.

2- I'll advise them to keep cats as pets. Cats in the Middle Ages , (specially black cats) were regarded as evil creatures, associated to witchcraft so they killed them, which was the main reason why the pest aka the black death, spreaded so fast in Europe , since rats carried the desease, and there were no cats in the cities to kill the rats.

So that's what I could try to tell them, important but at the same time easy to put into practise, it's a win-win situation.




rxtales
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 10:17:23 AM

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eiotis123 wrote:



Toilet paper is overrated. You don't really need it.
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 10:29:41 AM

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Dancing_Doll wrote:
I went to a party once that had this "psychic" that was able to read our "energies" and know what we were in a past life (yeah I know... but I had to play along). The "psychic" said that in a past life I was a madam of a high class brothel.

While I don't believe her fortune-telling abilities or past-life analysis abilities, I always thought that would be a fun occupation, so I'd probably pick that. I'd have the hottest wenches and babes working for me, highly skilled in the arts of advanced medieval sex, and I'd be like the Heidi Fleiss of the era. glasses8


*raises hand* is looking for a job, has good references! *giggles*

Live, love, laugh.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 11:04:23 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,517
javier wrote:
And you couldn´t come back to 2010, what would you do? What knowledge , skills, or techniques would you use to survive and get along with the people? The opition "hey guys, I come from the future" is not valid, so you would have to pretend you were a local, I guess you'd be an step ahead technologywise, but at the same time you would have to be careful not to look too ahead or they could think you are a witch/devil and burn you.

Middle Ages, or any other ancient time.


If you think about it, we'd be pretty screwed. I mean we think of ourselves as 'advanced' but when it comes down to it, what do we really know. Medicine? - yeah the point about the cats and the plague was good but who knows even how to make something really basic like, say penicillin or even Aspirin? Language and Communication - we would be the ones who couldn't make ourselves understood and there would be no point looking on Google for a tanslation program. Never mind i-phones - the most advanced thing that I could offer would be two cans and a piece of string. (did they have cans and string back then?) Eating - how many of us would even know how to catch a fish or a rabbit , let alone skin it and cook it? Survival - I suppose my Swiss Army Knife might come in handy. I might finally get to use that thing for getting stones out of horses hooves. None of us could ever hope to draw an English longbow, let alone hit a man at 300 yards or whatever they had to do. (By the way, it is apparently still the law in England that all boys under the age of 16 have to practice with the longbow every Sunday just incase they have to go and fight the French again). Sex - don't think there is anything that we know now that they dind'nt know then, except maybe birth control. Anybody know how to make a condom out of a few leaves and a bit of mud?

Seriously, I think if we ever did find ourselves in a time warp, we would probably stand out by our inability to do anything - not our superiority. The average toddler would know more than we did.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 11:42:27 AM

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sprite wrote:
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I went to a party once that had this "psychic" that was able to read our "energies" and know what we were in a past life (yeah I know... but I had to play along). The "psychic" said that in a past life I was a madam of a high class brothel.

While I don't believe her fortune-telling abilities or past-life analysis abilities, I always thought that would be a fun occupation, so I'd probably pick that. I'd have the hottest wenches and babes working for me, highly skilled in the arts of advanced medieval sex, and I'd be like the Heidi Fleiss of the era. glasses8


*raises hand* is looking for a job, has good references! *giggles*


You are hired! There are many exciting positions awaiting you in my Medieval House of Dolls... (pun intended, of course!). Lwinking

Rembacher
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 1:04:17 PM

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Joined: 10/16/2008
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If I'm using a time machine, I'm going to assume that I get to set the time and location that I travel to. If that is the case, then I would definitely prepare for whatever situation I was going to. If I'm going to the middle ages, even if I'm just planning a quick visit, I would learn how to use a sword to defend myself. I wouldn't be an expert, but I would at least stand a chance of fending off an attacker.

If I got stuck there, my best chance for survival is probably as a farmer, since I know about how crop rotation and fertilizer can improve yields. I think I would also be able to draw designs for a blacksmith to follow to manufacture plows, cultivators, and other equipment to help make my farming easier than it was in that time period. I'm not sure if I could build something like a steam engine, or a windmill electricity generator, but since I understand how they work, I would probably take a shot at it. I imagine it would be a lot easier to "invent" those technologies when you understand how the finished product functions. Maybe I would go into business selling the newer equipment and become a wealthy merchant, or maybe I would farm for a while until I could afford a ship to sail to and discover the Americas.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 1:33:35 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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javier wrote:
LadyX wrote:
Damn- as a bi-racial woman, I'd be screwed pretty much no matter when or where I went back in time. This could cause nightmares. I think I'll stay right here if I can, it's never been so good.



LadyX, what about pre-1492 America? We could go together and become King and Queen, and teach the locals how to build firearms and home-made bombs and destroy the Spanish ships as soon as they show up.


you can't change the past as it might irrecoverably change the future ...Don't you watch time travelling movies?
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 1:40:51 PM

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To answer this honestly...I wouldn't want to go back to that time. Women had no rights and were married off from 12 years old onwards by their fathers for land or other political reasons. Most of them died in childbirth due to bad sanitary reasons. Peasants were worse than slaves and were first affected when Lords invaded other Lords. They believed that washing was not good for you and no dental care...so smelly,sexist men with no teeth....I'll pass
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 2:27:27 PM

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I'm with you, Lois. Fuck a bunch of the romanticized past crap. There was nothing remotely pleasant about 'them old days', even if you were a powerful 'lord' or land owner...you just had it a few notches 'better' than animals in a lean-to shed.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 9:00:21 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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I would amaze the Chinese villagers I found myself living amongst with stories of the Starship Enterprise. I would teach them Klingon so that we would have a common language. Once I had enough people speaking Klingon, I would form a Klingon speaking, Chinese, Shakespearean acting troupe. Nothing beats Shakespeare performed in it's native Klingon tongue. For added flair my girlfriend (you didn't think I'd travel through time without my girlfriend, did you?) would teach the locals about proper nutrition for horses. Our village would soon have the finest horses in the Empire. We would leave our small village and travel across China performing plays, putting on displays of equine skills, and spreading knowledge of the Federation. Klingon honor would be taught from town to town. The bravest warriors would take Klingon names. All would be able to quote Shakespeare. We would soon have China seeking to form the earliest form of the Federation, right here on Earth. Our mighty fleet would sail forth and impress every port we came to. Our majestic steeds would venture across Asia and into Europe. Our mighty houses would soon spread across the reaches of the globe. It would be an age to change the course of humanity forever. My girlfriend and I would bring the honorable game of bowling to lands near and far. After many years we would vanish into the mists of time, having left hints of a hero who would come one day when his people needed him most. The Batman!
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